The Jim-Bob Report....the Iowa/Dijon Nexus

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Jim McDonald and tonight we have an interesting report on the connection between two seemingly unrelated objects. You've no doubt heard of the theory of Six Degrees of Separation. Well, this evening we intend to put that theory to the test, only not with people, but with cities. My colleague, Bob MacCackle has the fascinating details. Bob? Whaz up?"

"Whoa! Jimbo....easy on the trendy yet uncharacteristic slang....(by the way, it's "whaz up," ol' buddy)....*cough*....Well Jim, it all started with a little misprint. Seems one of those Hoyt kids, who happens to be studying abroad in France, purchased a train ticket with the intention of visiting Germany. For some unknown reason, the ticket's shipping address was stamped Dijon, Iowa. Naturally our curiosity was piqued."

"Whoa yourself, Bobbo! I didn't even realize you knew what "piqued" meant."

"Oh, fer sure, Jim. This unwitting routine is just a ruse I use to get the locals to confide in me. Nobody 'round here's rich enough to pay me for good press....*muttered*....those clowns in New York are SO lucky....."

"Right, Bob....but getting back to the French Connection...."

"Oh yeah....well Jim, if people can find associations between two seemingly unrelated people, why not two unrelated cities? We wanted to find an undeniable link between Dijon and Iowa."

"But Bob, Dijon is a city and Iowa is a state..."

"Yes, Jim, but a very sparsely populated state. The inhabitants of Iowa are roughly equivalent in number to that of a modest city in Europe. I know it's a stretch, but as reporters, we can make or break people, statistics and facts. It's what we do, my friend."

".....*laughing*.....Now Bob, you old extortionist, you. So, what did you come up with?"

"Well Jim, there's an AWFUL lot of references to recipes using Dijon mustard. Mostly from electric co-op rags...uh, I mean publications. In fact, I picked up a nice little vinaigrette that you are just gonna love...."

"That's all very good, Bob. But do we have anything of a more substantive nature? Like, say.....a main dish, or something?"

"Even better, Jim. It took fifteen pages on Google but I found it! Great stuff. All about the Icarians, whose founder was born in Dijon, and whose followers ended up in Iowa. Of course, they made a few unfortunate stops first, in Texas and New Orleans, but hey, Jim, nobody's perfect. The important thing is...the connection. Dijon to Iowa. Another well-intentioned, idealistic communal group gone bust....*sniff*....man....it's just so moving....*sob*....'scuse me, Jim. I....I'm havin' a moment, here....."

"That's OK, Bob. We're used to it....*turns toward audience*.....And that's our report for tonight, folks. Tune in next time, when we start a brand new series on towns in the midwest. It will be a regular feature which we've entitled, The Long Road Back-and-Forth in Iowa."

"For Bob MacCackle, this is Jim McDonald....good-night."
 

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