"It's Wretched Living Like This"

These were Loren's words last evening, shortly before bed. He had not slept well the night before due to his heart pounding for a long period of time. Usually that is indicative of working too hard during the day, except, he hadn't done much of anything. I share this not to alarm people, but just to let folks know a bit of the up and down nature of life in this situation.

I am often asked, "How is your husband doing?" That is difficult to answer, short of 2 or 3 hours. Since most peoples' eyes start to glaze over after five minutes, I usually answer with, "He's hangin' in there." Some days there may be significant variances from hour to hour. And, if I even touch on the emotional impact on him, I get the distinct impression that another Bible verse will soon be offered. So, if you ask me how he is doing and you feel my answer is less than forthcoming, please know that I do not mean to be unkind. It is easier on YOU if you do not know all that takes place, and, it is easier on ME if I do not have to relate it. It is enough to get through each moment, hour and day. (that's part of the reason for the blog, so I don't have to give the same report, over and over. Lazy of me, isn't it?)

But, dispensing with that labored explanation, Loren has been some better this afternoon, feeling well enough to go out for a haircut. We're going for a new look here, the "flat-top." :-) He thought it would be an easy style to care for when he goes into the hospital. That way, the nurses can just spit on his head a few times and zip, zap, he'll be good to go. Of course, he won't be ABLE to go anywhere, but if he were, he'd be ready. Loren claims it didn't come out quite flat on top, but I think he's real spiff. Sorta the kinder, gentler marine look.

At this very moment, (4:10 pm) he and Jason are in close consultation together over Sharon's computer. That in itself will tell you Loren is feeling relatively decent, for a man with heart failure. But just as the approach of autumn gives one that nudge to finish up those end of summer tasks, we are feeling it is time to set a few things in order, get him to the dentist, the eye doctor, etc. He has had a good couple of months (for him) and was able to get a taste of family camp, enjoy parts of our family reunion, and engage in some interesting conversations with Ardith and Heather. But we are sensing it will soon be time to move on to the next step in heart transplant status. (more detail on that, another day)

Time to finish those homeschool registration forms, time to put the house in order. (OK, that was a joke) Most importantly, it is time to lay in a supply of chocolate for the winter. Oh yes, there is much to be done.

At least Loren's hair is ready.

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