Birthday gift?

...or product of a twisted mind?
See, it all started a couple of years ago, at family camp. Several of us ladies were comparing "chocolate notes." (this is something women frequently do in their ever-continuing quest for mood enhancement)
Now, I have little recollection of the exact conversation--a trait I have come to rely upon--but, I am told that I made disparaging comments to another female concerning her intake of Tootsies Rolls. It is quite possible that I described them as tasting like "plastic chocolate," I don't know. Apparently, this person, nay, her whole FAMILY tucked this little morsel of knowledge back into the dark recesses of their collective minds, for future reference.
LEAP forward two years, if you will, to my most current birthday. (it was Sept. 15, and I turned 47, not that we're keeping track, or anything) I am at church, minding my own business and hob-nobbing about, when up walks Laura Severs, with one of those pretty bags people use when they are TOO LAZY TO WRAP A PRESENT! (just kidding, Laura :-) Trying my best not to look too greedy, I snatched it from her, yelling, "Gimme, gimme!"
Upon looking inside, I beheld a lovely glass jar, filled with not so lovely looking tootsie rolls. Oh, don't get me wrong, they looked FINE, if you like tootsie rolls, but....well.....I did my best to appear unshocked, yet appreciative. And, I was hoping no one would notice the sudden twitching in my left eye.
What was even worse was the attached note, "Do not share these with anybody!" My plans for surreptitiously tossing them to the kids was evaporating, even as I dissembled.
It was THEN, that I noticed the sly gleams of amusement in the eyes of the giver and her equally sneaky mother. Something was afoot and we were not talkin' plantar warts.
I looked again at the gift, making close examination of the wrapped candies. They certainly looked authentic....but still.....
My intuition suddenly usurping my reason, I reached into the jar, extracted one of the pathetic excuses for chocolate and began unwrapping.....and lo and behold!...'twas a Dove's Dark Chocolate! Or rather, half of one.
For you see, Laura had carefully unwrapped a multitude of tootsie rolls, just as carefully halved "several" dark chocolates, and then RE-wrapped the Dove's in the loathsome tootsie roll wrappers. Can you believe it?
I mean, WHAT KIND OF INTELLECT THINKS up these ways to mess with Ma's mind?
Bravo, Laura :-) Tweet

The Progeny
2 Comments:
That's great, Mommy. :)
Now that is what is called mean.
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