"Raise your right hand...

.....and take the Homeschooler's Testing Oath...."
(Student)

"I solemnly swear/affirm/have-really-good-intentions
to do my very best job on the Iowa Test of Basic Skills, by:
-filling in those annoying little circles quickly, but neatly
-not freaking out on the punctuation section because it doesn't come until the end of my English book and we haven't gotten there, yet
-ignoring my growling stomach and the girl sitting next to me who gets to take bites of bagel because Mommy says she probably has low blood sugar or something and I shouldn't worry about it
-not asking the teacher if there isn't some mistake on the Sources of Information section, since they don't have "Click Google" as an option,

SO HELP ME MA"

(Pseudo-teacher)

"I will make an attempt to not embarrass my kids at the test check-in, particularly when congregating with other families who apparently are normal. Also, I will try hard not to speak loudly or make comments such as, "Whoa! You guys look WAY smarter than these losers....."

Uhh....YEAH."

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