The Progeny
Three valid reasons for hatin' on dishwashers
I am a reasonable person.
While being female might predispose me to the very occasional and merest hint of emotionality, this possible flaw is compensated by the natural feminine instinct for pity.
Women believe in second chances, particularly in regards to themselves but also in connection with those around them, whether they be sentient beings or no. (excluding husbands of course, as we can't have them getting spoilt)
There are rare instances however, when circumstances adjure one to cast aside the fraternal ties of technology, to loose the bonds of appliancial affection, as it were.
Out with the amity and in with the enmity.
I speak of dishwashers.
Oh they sound so useful, so practical. So practically useful. But let us take a closer look at the inner workings of this devious device. Let us examine their actual output and thereby plumb the depths of their deceit.
Time savings
-Touted as savers of time, these machines are actually "wastrels de temps." When the average load takes two hours to complete, one can hardly have claimed a time savings. And this does not include the minutes alloted for rinsing* and loading. (*more on this, later) With our first holiday meal avec dishwashere, three loads were required to complete plate and saucer sanctification. That was six...count 'em, SIX HOURS needed to clean eating implements that could have been hand-washed in 40 minutes.
Sanitization
-Who wouldn't be in favor of killing germs? It ranks right up there with cute little puppies and making the world safe for democracy. Actual Sanitization can only occur when all the food has left the plates. In real life, pieces of foodstuffs (which you don't need to rinse, first) often remain after the washing process has completed. Those bits are then heated to the point where germ survival is impossible, as is bit removal. The plates may still contain morsels of food, but at least those remnants are sanitized. This is commonly referred to as Virtual Sanitization.
Efficacy
-today's dishwashers are proclaimed so industrious, so efficient, that rinsing is indeed unnecessary. Pah! 'Tis a vicious lie instigated by the appliance cartels. Just try not rinsing the dishes and see what happens. Tired of rinsing under the faucet? Simply load up and do a "Quick Rinse" first. But make sure you return to fill up the soap container and press "Wash." Otherwise, you will come to the kitchen, ready to set the table for the next meal and find nothing has been washed from the previous luncheon. It can be MOST dispiriting. Almost as dispiriting as discovering the wash has progressed and left a soapy film over everything. Contrary to the popular opinion of mechanically savvy males who DO NO DISHES, this scumful situation is not the result of soap-filling-exuberance, but rather a malicious and spiteful attitude on the part of the dishwasher. Yes, if you're really lucky, you can rinse before AND after the whole dishwasher experience.
And that is why, upon waking this morning and finding last night's dishes had only been quick-rinsed and not washed, I screamed silently to myself, filled up the sink and finished the job in ten minutes.
It was either that or wait two hours to eat breakfast.
Tweet
While being female might predispose me to the very occasional and merest hint of emotionality, this possible flaw is compensated by the natural feminine instinct for pity.
Women believe in second chances, particularly in regards to themselves but also in connection with those around them, whether they be sentient beings or no. (excluding husbands of course, as we can't have them getting spoilt)
There are rare instances however, when circumstances adjure one to cast aside the fraternal ties of technology, to loose the bonds of appliancial affection, as it were.
Out with the amity and in with the enmity.
I speak of dishwashers.
Oh they sound so useful, so practical. So practically useful. But let us take a closer look at the inner workings of this devious device. Let us examine their actual output and thereby plumb the depths of their deceit.
Time savings
-Touted as savers of time, these machines are actually "wastrels de temps." When the average load takes two hours to complete, one can hardly have claimed a time savings. And this does not include the minutes alloted for rinsing* and loading. (*more on this, later) With our first holiday meal avec dishwashere, three loads were required to complete plate and saucer sanctification. That was six...count 'em, SIX HOURS needed to clean eating implements that could have been hand-washed in 40 minutes.
Sanitization
-Who wouldn't be in favor of killing germs? It ranks right up there with cute little puppies and making the world safe for democracy. Actual Sanitization can only occur when all the food has left the plates. In real life, pieces of foodstuffs (which you don't need to rinse, first) often remain after the washing process has completed. Those bits are then heated to the point where germ survival is impossible, as is bit removal. The plates may still contain morsels of food, but at least those remnants are sanitized. This is commonly referred to as Virtual Sanitization.
Efficacy
-today's dishwashers are proclaimed so industrious, so efficient, that rinsing is indeed unnecessary. Pah! 'Tis a vicious lie instigated by the appliance cartels. Just try not rinsing the dishes and see what happens. Tired of rinsing under the faucet? Simply load up and do a "Quick Rinse" first. But make sure you return to fill up the soap container and press "Wash." Otherwise, you will come to the kitchen, ready to set the table for the next meal and find nothing has been washed from the previous luncheon. It can be MOST dispiriting. Almost as dispiriting as discovering the wash has progressed and left a soapy film over everything. Contrary to the popular opinion of mechanically savvy males who DO NO DISHES, this scumful situation is not the result of soap-filling-exuberance, but rather a malicious and spiteful attitude on the part of the dishwasher. Yes, if you're really lucky, you can rinse before AND after the whole dishwasher experience.
And that is why, upon waking this morning and finding last night's dishes had only been quick-rinsed and not washed, I screamed silently to myself, filled up the sink and finished the job in ten minutes.
It was either that or wait two hours to eat breakfast.
Tweet
posted by Ma Hoyt | 11:39 AM
2 Comments:
Personally, I couldn't survive without my dishwasher (and I'll have to admit that I tend not to pre-rinse--occasionally I'll have to hand wash an item).
But that is beside the point. We need a strategy that will work for you. I believe if you stopped feeding all those kids, it would cut down on the need to wash dishes. With the smaller loads that result, the machine will be able to fulfill its tasks.
If this doesn't seem like a feasible solution, perhaps you could buy another set of dishes and another dishwasher. Then you should always have clean dishes available for each meal and the machines can be tagged for "clean" or "dirty" so you know which one to work from (or to).
If that still doesn't work for you, I can only suggest what my sister-in-law does. Store the cereal and other staples in it. (Hers is portable, so I would recommend disconnecting the water supply--just in case.)
Hope that helps.
Oh yes, that definitely helps :-D
Post a Comment
<< Home