Animal Control: It Just Never Ends (at least, for me)

Had a little excitement, Friday night. A bat appeared out of nowhere and began swooping around the hallway and kitchen, forcing us to put Pierce Brosnan and all of his James Bondiness on hold, for a bit.

The first job was to get my hands on a tennis racket, which we keep so the kids can play baseball.

(don't ask about why they use tennis rackets to play baseball...ask about why I needed it for the bat...because--as I learned from Eileen Kepple (thanks, Eileen!)--a bat's radar doesn't always sense the racket as well as it would a more solid object, such as a broom, which I have to say, was quite exhausting that other time...)

In all the flurry, it did take me a few moments to open the storage container, which calls for someone with a greater wingspan to push in two buttons at opposite ends, at the same time.

However, by a simple maneuver just short of double shoulder dislocation, I was able to do it.

The next step was to close the stairway door, preventing said bat from going upstairs in the dark and quite possibly instigating massive shrieking.

Then there was the sight of Ma, hearkening back to her days on the tennis team, swinging wildly for a brown object that kept circling overhead (a technique we never learned at tennis practice).

Despite the heartfelt support from Loren and Carolyn, safely watching in the hall, I missed "several" times. Luck was not totally absent, however, as suddenly I was simultaneously aware of a surprised exclamation from Loren and the sight of something brown hurtling across the kitchen to the other side of the dining room table.

"Where is it...? Where did it land...?" I asked myself, nervously searching my brain for any info on bat retribution.

It lay stunned on Melinda's chair, and the rest is somewhat hazy, due to adrenaline and my need to not inform the DNR of the details concerning how it ended up outside, quite a bit less than conscious.

I'm feeling inspired enough to compose a rap poem about all the animals I've "controlled" over the years, but first I need to decide whether to limit it to the house, the yard, or creatures I've taken out with the vehicles.
 

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