Colonoscopy, a Metaphor for Life
| Ha! Told you guys I wasn't making this up! |
Several years ago I excitedly told the kids I'd seen what appeared to be a white hawk flying around approximately 5 miles north of our house.
I think this was about the time several of them started whispering words that sounded eerily like "dementia," and "psycho."
Well, perhaps that is an exaggeration, but there was definite disbelief.
Now I have the proof!
And this proof was a pleasant capstone to a frustrating afternoon, filled with driving about on fruitless errands.
Finally I got launched on a semi-productive outing and along the way, that beautiful bird.
I saw it fly across the road several hundred yards ahead of me and thought, "Hmmm, one of those really cool all-white pigeons...wait, too big....wait....hawk-like wings and flight----WAIT! That's the BIRD!
Actually, I was probably more concerned with not spilling my Casey's coffee and checking to see if someone was coming up behind me so I could stop and take a picture....but I think you get the idea.
Wowee. I realize it's not as close as one could like, but still...
As to the post title, I spent most of the afternoon trying to get paperwork delivered and the prescription for my upcoming really-fun-colonoscopy-of-wonder, on Monday.
Just in time I realized the first schedule would coincide with the church Thanksgiving Dinner. That would mean clear liquids all that day (can you make pureed turkey so it's clear?) and starting the prep-of-dread while still at church.
Fortunately the hospital had several openings. I guess they don't have enough people lining up or something....anyway, I got it changed to this Monday. As in...
THIS COMING MONDAY.
Methinks it will be good to get it out of the way.
Me also thinks they are basically trying to kill people with the amount of prep drink.
And if I hear anyone say ONE MORE TIME, "The procedure isn't bad, it's the prep that's awful..." I do think I will have to stifle a small scream.
Do they think I was born yesterday? Do they think I don't have a husband who's already been through it at least 3 times?
Do they think I don't see medical segments on the morning news shows?
Sometimes I think there's a sign on my forehead that says, "Try and drive Ma crazy. Go ahead...she enjoys it."
Enough of that. I need to go relax and watch TV (and no, watching the first World Series game doesn't count).
I need to relax.
I need to snack on stuff before I have to go to clear liquids.
Who knows, maybe I'll run across another medical show on colonoscopies.
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The Progeny
1 Comments:
After my "procedure," I decided medical protocol is highly overrated. And I'm thinking every 2-3 years is enough for my "annual" exam, as it only serves as an excuse for them to recommend additional interior investigations. I'm not recommending this - it's just me.
OutWest
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