The Progeny
Operation FREEZER
I'm sure everyone is well acquainted with my nonexistent close ties to all things homemakery.
But occasionally I surprise even myself.
Today was one of those days; I determined to take care of the freezer situation.
It wasn't merely a matter of defrosting. And it wasn't simply sorting and tossing.
It was a matter of defrosting, sorting, and tossing.
All for the sake of setting up the future abode of applesauce.
Phase 1: Take out "redundant" stuff from the large section, thanking lucky stars for the very loud trucks tearing up and down the road all afternoon which meant you couldn't sleep and therefore had more time to clean. Stand in awe of the two trash bags ful of old bread crusts. The kind you saved to make stuffing for Thanksgiving. Acknowledge you probably don't have enough Thanksgivings left to ever use up all those crusts. Set foodstuffs-to-be-save on newspapers or in cooler with the ice cream.
Phase 2: Find hammer. Preferably a claw hammer. Begin tapping/banging on encrusted ice and frost. Estimate frost removal alone will probably increase freezer space an additional 15 to 20 percent. Scoop up ice into cake pan, toss in sink.
Repeat Phase 2 approximately 78 times.
Wipe down lid, edges, sides, and "floor" with a dry towel. A lot. Try not to fall in when scraping "floor." Repeat phases 1 & 2 for meat section and then "middle" section. Tell son "yes" when he asks (after seeing freezer contents on table) for bagel snack.Yell at Politely reprimand son for taking more than you said because you wanted the last bagel, yourself.
Phase 3: Start wiping condensation/frost off containers you wish to put back in the freezer. Place five or six in cake pan for freezer returnage.
Repeat approximately 12 times.
Phase 4: Look at all the containers stacked up by the sink; containers with stuff to toss, which have almost fallen several times and scared a couple of kids who came into the kitchen.
Phase 5: Sigh. Deeply. Think....
Phase 6: Load containers onto cake pan, five or six at a time, carry outside and place in wheelbarrow. The BIG wheelbarrow. Repeat approximately...a lotta times. Observe that they all fit. Cover with sheet and hope neighbors don't drive by. Take "break" to fix spaghetti pie...stick in oven...set rolls to rise (dough left over from the WHOLE BATCH OF BREAD made earlier in day)...eye with longing the apple butter discovered while cleaning freezer and congratulate self, "I knew this would pay off"). Wash pans used to make casserole so there won't be as many dishes for....(wait for it....) you to wash, later.
Phase 7: It is almost dark, this Halloween night. Wheel the barrow full of goodies out to burn pile. Dump. Place empty containers in garbage bag. Marvel at how some people plant berry bushes to attract woodland creatures when all they really need to do is empty out their freezer every five years to get the same effect. Take bag of containers in for washing, later. Sit down for 15 minutes. Eat. Mention how much room there is in the freezer and see how many unbelieving kids leave the table, open freezer door, and return to table in stunned silence.Watch most of Hogan's Heroes with kids.
Phase 8: Rinse out containers while making granola for tomorrow's breakfast. Receive sympathy of anyone brave enough to enter kitchen. Put kids to bed after reading more of "Percy Jackson" series (make mental note of which boys resemble which monsters in story....).
Phase 9: Wash out all containers, changing water approximately 17 times, rinse, changing water approximately 17 times, and dry (3 dish towels, set on table, balancing in manner reminiscent of Jenga tower. Start thinking about how much ice cream you will eat as a reward for all your hard work. Express thanks to cake pan.
And it's just----that----easy.
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But occasionally I surprise even myself.
Today was one of those days; I determined to take care of the freezer situation.
It wasn't merely a matter of defrosting. And it wasn't simply sorting and tossing.
It was a matter of defrosting, sorting, and tossing.
All for the sake of setting up the future abode of applesauce.
Phase 1: Take out "redundant" stuff from the large section, thanking lucky stars for the very loud trucks tearing up and down the road all afternoon which meant you couldn't sleep and therefore had more time to clean. Stand in awe of the two trash bags ful of old bread crusts. The kind you saved to make stuffing for Thanksgiving. Acknowledge you probably don't have enough Thanksgivings left to ever use up all those crusts. Set foodstuffs-to-be-save on newspapers or in cooler with the ice cream.
Phase 2: Find hammer. Preferably a claw hammer. Begin tapping/banging on encrusted ice and frost. Estimate frost removal alone will probably increase freezer space an additional 15 to 20 percent. Scoop up ice into cake pan, toss in sink.
Repeat Phase 2 approximately 78 times.
Wipe down lid, edges, sides, and "floor" with a dry towel. A lot. Try not to fall in when scraping "floor." Repeat phases 1 & 2 for meat section and then "middle" section. Tell son "yes" when he asks (after seeing freezer contents on table) for bagel snack.
Phase 3: Start wiping condensation/frost off containers you wish to put back in the freezer. Place five or six in cake pan for freezer returnage.
Repeat approximately 12 times.
Phase 4: Look at all the containers stacked up by the sink; containers with stuff to toss, which have almost fallen several times and scared a couple of kids who came into the kitchen.
Phase 5: Sigh. Deeply. Think....
Phase 6: Load containers onto cake pan, five or six at a time, carry outside and place in wheelbarrow. The BIG wheelbarrow. Repeat approximately...a lotta times. Observe that they all fit. Cover with sheet and hope neighbors don't drive by. Take "break" to fix spaghetti pie...stick in oven...set rolls to rise (dough left over from the WHOLE BATCH OF BREAD made earlier in day)...eye with longing the apple butter discovered while cleaning freezer and congratulate self, "I knew this would pay off"). Wash pans used to make casserole so there won't be as many dishes for....(wait for it....) you to wash, later.
Phase 7: It is almost dark, this Halloween night. Wheel the barrow full of goodies out to burn pile. Dump. Place empty containers in garbage bag. Marvel at how some people plant berry bushes to attract woodland creatures when all they really need to do is empty out their freezer every five years to get the same effect. Take bag of containers in for washing, later. Sit down for 15 minutes. Eat. Mention how much room there is in the freezer and see how many unbelieving kids leave the table, open freezer door, and return to table in stunned silence.Watch most of Hogan's Heroes with kids.
Phase 8: Rinse out containers while making granola for tomorrow's breakfast. Receive sympathy of anyone brave enough to enter kitchen. Put kids to bed after reading more of "Percy Jackson" series (make mental note of which boys resemble which monsters in story....).
Phase 9: Wash out all containers, changing water approximately 17 times, rinse, changing water approximately 17 times, and dry (3 dish towels, set on table, balancing in manner reminiscent of Jenga tower. Start thinking about how much ice cream you will eat as a reward for all your hard work. Express thanks to cake pan.
And it's just----that----easy.
Tweet
posted by Ma Hoyt | 11:40 PM
4 Comments:
THEN, Trevor, in his inimitable care and wisdom, put his bowl with leftover ice cream into the freezer basket (which happens approximately EVERY SINGLE TIME HE EATS ICE CREAM) and left it so the spoon handle was sticking in the door, keeping it from sealing....I didn't see it until an hour later (if I hadn't eaten ice cream I wouldn't have seen it until the next day).
Give me strength!
I suppose the spoon in freezer door is a good reason to eat ice cream daily, just to have a daily check.
No wild birds in freezer, eh?
OW
No wild birds. I did get rid of a lot of wild leftovers, though :-)
I almost died laughing at this part - "Marvel at how some people plant berry bushes to attract woodland creatures when all they really need to do is empty out their freezer every five years to get the same effect."
But also curious, did you have a bunch of animals come up to investigate?
Sounds like a very successful operation.... and I know that is a ton of work, something I would probably wait years to take on too!
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