How to Know When You're Getting......

OLD:
-you have to take off your glasses to thread a needle

-you hear the store clerk remark about the "golden oldie" on the radio, and you distinctly remember being alive when the song came out

-you start enjoying those "Reminisce" magazines in the waiting rooms. At least, I think it's called "Reminisce." Possibly the name was "Total Recall," I just can't.......remember.

-you realize you actually DID some of the things described in "Reminisce" magazine.

-you spend time on the treadmill, ostensibly to keep fit, and then have to lay down to gather strength to make supper

-you don't even FEEL like getting out of bed in the morning

-your husband, recovering from a heart transplant, actually beats you to the shower

-even the thought of reading a book is exhausting
_______________
BORED:

-you look forward to doing your laundry

-you spend extra time in the kitchen, cleaning and running the sanitizer, just for the momentary thrill of the "Whoosh" when the water jets engage. (Now I know how James T. and Jean-Luc felt)

-you take out the three trash bags in the kitchen, even though it is not your designated day. You understand that you may be depriving someone of their Boredom Abolition Rights, but You----Don't------Even------CARE!

-you take inordinate pleasure in seizing the computer, after your husband goes down to the treadmill, thinking YOU would be busy with the laundry. "Finders, Keepers, my dear, Finders, Keepers." (heh, heh, heh)

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