"Ma" vs Technology and the Five Step System

It is the dead of night, and a gentle tapping at our bedroom door awakens me. Glancing at my watch, I note the time: 6:20 a.m. Well, almost the dead of night, anyway. I grab my robe and stumble to the door. It is Ethan, "Nolan wants to go downstairs." *groan* At least he has taken my admonition from yesterday seriously, and not come into the room, this time. It gives me the "willies" to suddenly see a kid beside the bed, not to mention being an invasion of married space.

For the sixth day in a row, I carry Nolan down the stairway without dropping him. Only 29 more days to go. I hope... I glance out the window to see a line of black, threatening clouds to the west and north. Hmmmm. It would appear we are in for a little precipitation.

"Can I watch something?" came the plaintive plea from the cripple. "Sure." *yawn* "If I can figure out how this works...." I gaze at the new media set-up. It is the 3rd configuration of computer, wide screen monitor, VCR, cassette tape deck and stereo receiver to be assembled in the past 4 days. I had finally passed my VHS Orientation Class, and was trembling at the prospect of taking the next step in Hoyt Media Presentation For Dummies: "You, TOO, Can Play a DVD, Even Though You are a Total Technologic Incompetent."

With tremulous fingers I performed the intricate steps:
Step 1) turn on monitor,
Step 2) turn on VCR,
Step 3) take "boss" remote and turn on TV.....wait, what's this? A log-on box has popped up. I type in what might be Loren's password. WRONG! I type in another one he frequently uses....SUCCESS! I am IN!
Step 4) Now, to get the TV part to come on.....yes, we're getting somewhere.....
Step 5) time for the magic channel #4......and.....and......nothing but fuzz.

It would appear my previous VCR Orientation Class has just become obsolete. I will now have to take a replacement course, in ADDITION to the DVD Class. Boy, I only hope I can work this into my schedule. Or, maybe I should just wait until the extended version comes out. That's where they show clips of me, going berserk, and throwing various media components out the front window and onto the lawn.

At least the TV is doable. We opt for local news and weather. The radar shows a stunning array of bright red bands heading directly toward us. I talk it up to the kids, "Possibility of 3/4 inch hail! Is this exciting, or what!" They are temporarily mollified, especially since I do not mute the commercials.

Well, we survived the weather, breakfast and sending three off to Bible School. Time to snooze on the couch, with Trevor nestled beside me. We are bonding. He and I, and the Big Yellow Bird on Sesame Street.

Napping. I can handle that.

And, it only takes one step.

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