Ma's Consumer Product Marketing Review

Taking advantage of my latest trip to the BIG CITY, I stopped in at the Waterloo Super Wal-Mart on my way home. It's a chance to shop at a larger store, it's open 24 hours, and well....it's just so super.

Noticing a few new products, my curiosity got the better of me and I snapped photos of what seem to be particularly interesting marketing strategies.

Here we have....."Frank's Totally Tomato Ketchup."
 
Now, the very first thing that catches the eye is the homey title, "Frank's."   Right away this tells us two things:
1) It's not made by some big-time ketchup giant who's CEO has just retired with a 700 million dollar pension. No sir. This is just plain ol' Frank, a guy who probably started bottling and selling the stuff right out of his kitchen.

We get the feeling that Frank is an older guy ('cause NO-body names their kid "Frank" anymore) and that he is just so nice, you wanna call him by his first name.

In other words, Frank cares.

2) The name "Frank" is actually a subtle reference to his character. He is honest and forthright. Basically, Frank is frank.

You just wouldn't get the same feeling with "Josh's Totally Tomato Ketchup." I mean, was Josh being completely serious? Or was he....ummmm.....sorta kiddin' around?

By the same token, another real turn-off would be "Sneaky Osama's Totally Tomato Ketchup." At least, that's my take on it.

But let us move on to the phrase, "totally tomato." This is implying, of course, that the other brands contain ingredients non-tomato in nature. Like...say, eggplant spray-painted red.

OR, this could simply be an appeal to the younger set, with the idea that, "This ketchup is...like....so totally cool, man."

And then, it is always possible that the "totally" refers to action taken in the tomato's processing. The consumer may rest assured that each plump red fruit has been thoroughly smashed, or "totaled."

In the end, it is a relief to see that the alternate spelling of "catsup" has not been utilized, which conjures up a variety of disturbing thoughts as to the condiment's content.

But the very best reason to try "Frank's Totally Tomato Ketchup" is the label's guarantee that money will be refunded should the product not be considered adequately tasty. Hopefully, you will not have lost your receipt by the time the bottom of the bottle is reached....
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Moving on to the heady topic of shampoo, we see here a choice between two products for dry/damaged hair. (click to enlarge) One contains amino proteins and one does not.
 
While it is difficult to discern if hair--which consists of dead cells--would actually benefit from the administration of this nutrient, it sure does look good.

Also, these choices can only serve to confuse the consumer, which marketers always consider a plus. The confused shopper is an impulse shopper. Confuse them and there is always the possibility that someone will just buy both.

But I say, why stop with amino proteins? Why not add Fish Oil, whose essential fatty acids are known to reduce cholesterol? Aside from the distinct advantage of having heart-healthy hair, there would be the added bonus of cat attractability. Clearly, a win-win situation.

Whatever you do, keep in mind the real purpose of studying shampoo labels, and don't just take a picture and then forget to purchase and take it home to your family.....
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I caught this little gem while waiting in the checkout line.
 
Isn't it funny how you can go along in life and not even realize how much you need something...like....hair glaze, Brussels sprouts, or a Chia Pet?

But getting back to hair glaze....I SURE hope this is not the same stuff they put on donuts. I just have this horrible picture of flies buzzing around Tom Hank's head. (well, maybe that wouldn't be so bad...)

I guess it comes down to this: if you're gonna put out something as bizarre as "hair glaze," at LEAST give it a dual purpose.

Take fingernail polish. Not only does it make feminine claws look more attractive, it doubles as a credible run-stopper in pantyhose. (just don't put it over tick bites. We tried that once and had nasty results)

I'm thinkin' a little addition to the product labeling....something with more flair.....such as, "Frank's Totally Tomato Hair Glaze--with Amino Proteins."

Maybe.

Well, that's all for today's version of MCPMR.

This is "Ma," encouraging you to be skeptical, read labels carefully, and most importantly.....just put the camera away and leave the store quietly if you hear these words over the intercom,

"Security to aisle six !" 
 

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