The Progeny
Time for April Snow...
...and Ma's Legumial Model of Precipitation.
Let's face it, this is nuts.
Branches, heavy with wet snow, bend down to touch the earth, literally begging for a whiff of global warming.
Church was canceled this morning, due to the roads getting bad and more snow on the way. And while the call came shortly before we were to leave, it was still late, in that Ma had already used the jaws-of-life to don her pantyhose. Naturally, one cannot employ the same technique for exiting said hose. The undonning of hose involves a branch of quantum physics, specifically the Copenhagen Interpretation, which states that pantyhose do not exist until you can feel the pain of peeling them off, each corpuscle of fat having been contained in its own individual hole of the hosiery weave.
But getting back to today's snow, I noticed the robins were still hoppin' about.
I feel sorry for them, so naively cheerful and so hoping for a worm.
It was a long night. The rain started sometime after 11:00, driven against the east windows with a haphazard rhythm that defied sleep.
That's when the whole legume model of precip came to mind. Isn't it awesome how the dead of night makes these philosophical questions crystal clear?
Anyway, it occurred to Ma that the driving rain sounded very much like lentils and split peas being thrown at the window. Every once in a while a chick pea would come along with an especially loud smack....chick peas, representing sleet. I imagine it goes without saying that these were uncooked chick peas. Who ever heard of soft chick peas making a smacking sound, after all?
It's important to keep scientific models logical and no, I am not obsessed with food.
The evening wasn't a total loss, however, as I went downstairs and finished another book, a memoir (I tend to gravitate to memoirs since they provide the illusion that my life is normal).
So, what with developing new scientific models, reading, and getting a modicum of repose, the night passed and the rain/sleet changed over to snow.
Which brings us to naptime.
Tweet
Let's face it, this is nuts.
Branches, heavy with wet snow, bend down to touch the earth, literally begging for a whiff of global warming.Church was canceled this morning, due to the roads getting bad and more snow on the way. And while the call came shortly before we were to leave, it was still late, in that Ma had already used the jaws-of-life to don her pantyhose. Naturally, one cannot employ the same technique for exiting said hose. The undonning of hose involves a branch of quantum physics, specifically the Copenhagen Interpretation, which states that pantyhose do not exist until you can feel the pain of peeling them off, each corpuscle of fat having been contained in its own individual hole of the hosiery weave.
But getting back to today's snow, I noticed the robins were still hoppin' about.
I feel sorry for them, so naively cheerful and so hoping for a worm.It was a long night. The rain started sometime after 11:00, driven against the east windows with a haphazard rhythm that defied sleep.
That's when the whole legume model of precip came to mind. Isn't it awesome how the dead of night makes these philosophical questions crystal clear?
Anyway, it occurred to Ma that the driving rain sounded very much like lentils and split peas being thrown at the window. Every once in a while a chick pea would come along with an especially loud smack....chick peas, representing sleet. I imagine it goes without saying that these were uncooked chick peas. Who ever heard of soft chick peas making a smacking sound, after all?
It's important to keep scientific models logical and no, I am not obsessed with food.
The evening wasn't a total loss, however, as I went downstairs and finished another book, a memoir (I tend to gravitate to memoirs since they provide the illusion that my life is normal).
So, what with developing new scientific models, reading, and getting a modicum of repose, the night passed and the rain/sleet changed over to snow.
Which brings us to naptime.
Tweet
posted by Ma Hoyt | 1:00 PM
3 Comments:
That reminds me of the time I held up a pair of pantyhose while getting dressed, and Gary exclaimed, "You're going to get into those!?!
:-)
I will say it is cold and windy here today, BUT IT IS NOT SNOWING!
Oh yes, the chickpeas- I mean, the sleet. That started up right as I started the car to leave Chicago this afternoon. Chicago got a bunch of sleet and rain, Iowa got a bunch of snow and some sleet and rain... Indiana should get a bunch of rain and a little sleet and snow.
I not only chuckled my way through your post, I read most of it out loud to the hubby :-) I remember peeling off the last pair of panty hose in the restaurant after the last church service on our last Sunday in the U.S. And vowed never to wear them again. (Well, until we return to the states.)
The man (and you KNOW it was a man) who invented them should be flogged, tarred and feathered, drawn, and quartered, and anything else bad that we can think of.
Post a Comment
<< Home