Feet in the Frying Pan

As I sit here, soaking my foot in the skillet, drinking a Diet Coke and munching honey mustard pretzels, I can't help but reflect on my life and wonder:

"Why does someone who is only 5'2" (optimistically speaking) have such large feet that she needs a full-size fry pan for soaking purposes?"

*sound of computer crashing*

More importantly, "Why did Mozilla Firefox crash and then reinstate tabs from almost two weeks ago, making the whole foot-soaking incident history?"

Indeed, "Can I still garner sympathy about the potential sliver in my foot when, in fact, it doesn't hurt as much?"

Also, "Will drinking a Diet Coke after 10pm keep me awake....am I, in reality, performing sleep experiments, or is this a desperate cry for help which may end in commitment to a mental facility? (preferably with cable TV and sleep comfort beds. And a craft class).

"ZZZZZzzzzzz...?"
 

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