Jeans Shopping: The Good, the Bad, and the Part that Makes You Want to Crawl Under a Rock and Cry

Taking advantage of a lull in activities, one activity being the weather, Ma took herself to "The Cities" for a bit o'shoppin'.

On the docket: umbrella, jacket, comfortable walking shoes (my tennis shoes from fall are cracking), jeans, and a device-by-which-ungainly-rolls-of-fat-are-scrunched-up-to-look-less-bulgey-by-means-of-winches-ratchets-and-self-performed-liposuction.

That last item turned out to be the easiest.

The umbrella a little harder.

The jeans excruciating.

The shoes annoying and disappointing.

And right here I would like to give a shout out to the companies who make "skinny" jeans and "super skinny" jeans. A little message from women over 40:

"It's not that we hate you so much, as despise you and hope that you're forced to sit in the back of a plane in one of the tight, little seats for an 18-hour long flight."

Every week.

Without air conditioning.

That might make us feel better, for a start. It would take care of approximately .0000012  the penance needed to compensate for your ludicrous attempt to make our lives difficult.

Other than that, I'm good.

But I may have pulled a couple of muscles, getting in and out of things....

Goodwill went fine, however! I came away with 9 items for 21 dollars :-D

7 were half-price ($2.00). And one of the full-price items was new, with an original tag close to $40.00!

Ka-ching....Ma wins, again :-)

Then it was off to the mall, with its promise of good walking shoes.

The mall actually failed to live up to its promise, for which Ma is rather ticked. I did end up with a pair of "maybe these will do" on clearance, from Gordman's. I found the overall shoe market to be slim, for size 9 to 9.5.

But if I thought shoes were hard, the jean hunt was worse.

Why do we need seven different degrees of skinny? Not to mention a sparsity of length variation.

"Ma'am? Do you have any jeans for short people?"

The young, goth-decorated, semi-conscious clerk replied, "That would be over in the (blah, blah,blah) section."

No one said it directly, but I detected a definite whiff of "Los-er!" in the conversation. And those jeans were weird. Even the size ZERO.

(why don't they just be honest and label them "doll-sized" ?)

I decided to return my 3 Liz Claiborne clearance sweaters to their rack and hit up another store ("Ha, ha ha, sweetheart!").

"Goodbye," Penny's. "Hello," Younkers!

Two words: Gloria Vanderbilt.

I came home with two workable items. Originally $48.00 and $58.00 respectively, I got them both on clearance for a total of $34.75 .

Who da Ma?  I say....WHO DA MA?!?!

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