The Progeny
Adolescents!
I was making a half-hearted stab at cleaning off my desk today (shuffling papers) when I ran across this:
(taken from a local paper--the school section--adapted from "Have You Kissed a Frog Today?" by James Garvin.
"Parents get a double whammy when around the age of 11 their child becomes an early adolescent. Not only does the parent lose the adorable elf, the personable companion of the last decade, but the elf is replaced by a moody, distant stranger, obsessed with zits, peers and hair."
[Most of our family are elves, 'cause, like, we're short. They only get to see their "peers" in church on Sunday. I haven't noticed that much moodiness, but hey, I've got breaking news: you could be dealing with zits for the rest of your life! And, one of the reasons I cut my hair short was so I wouldn't be obsessed with it. Now, whoever invented the boys' buzz cut should be made a saint]
"At this age, kids start to interrogate, to look for inconsistencies. We think the kid is going down the drain, and we tend to become more rigid and give them more rules."
[We instituted lots of rules at the beginning. Then you can ease up once you have them properly indoctrinated..... er.... trained]
"The early adolescent doesn't listen to music; it is engulfed by it. It grunts or yells. It slams doors. It likes to be alone. It likes to be with friends. It doesn't like being with parents. It feels so much that walking near it a normal 40 year old is displaced by its energy."
[ I wasn't quite sure if the "it" referred to the adolescent, or the music... But, if you have someone that age slamming doors, you missed the boat about 7 or 8 years ago. Good luck. I am not quite sure about this "energy displacement theory," but I would hazard a guess that Mr. Garvin has been watching too many old Star Trek episodes. Frankly, the word "energy" is about the last thing that comes to mind when I call them for breakfast...]
"We give our middle schoolers mixed messages. We tell them to be themselves because we value individuality, and then tell them to be responsible, to play [sic] ahead, (I think they meant plan) and to get ready for college, when it's all they can do to change classes seven times a day and open their lockers without falling into them. When an early adolescent is being itself, it isn't being responsible in a way resembling any adult definition of responsibility."
[Well, see, this is the beauty of a large family. No one is doted on in excess. We endeavor to spread the neglect around on an even basis, and everyone must assimilate. We had this concept down way before the Borg ever sailed into the final frontier. True, we don't have the challenges of opening lockers and changing classes seven times per day, but we do have interruptions from noisy little kids, and, in the past, the occasional cardiac arrest. It's in our best interests to pull together. The children sense that, and gradually learn to do what is expected of them. Not because they are trying to impress their friends, but because they don't want to let their family down. And, seeing an older sibling set a good example is one of the best teaching methods]
"Adolescents are extremely egocentric. They live in an imaginary bubble in which they must be physically perfect for their perceived audience of thousands."
[Well, we're ALL egocentric, to a certain extent. *looks in mirror and smooths hair* When I don't have to remind certain people to take a bath, or put on a clean shirt, THEN we'll worry about people trying to attain perfection]
"One can liken the 10 to 14 year old to the frog in the fairy tale. The beautiful princess saw something good in the frog and kissed him. The frog turned into a prince. What every adolescent kid needs is at least one adult in his/her life who believes in what the young adolescent can become. Parents/teachers have to be willing to kiss a frog every day for a least three years. Why don't we all begin today?"
[Honey, I've been kissing frogs for *counts on fingers* almost 10 years, now, and I figure I've got about 11 more years to go. At this rate, my lips will be in a sling for the rest of my life.....] Tweet
(taken from a local paper--the school section--adapted from "Have You Kissed a Frog Today?" by James Garvin.
"Parents get a double whammy when around the age of 11 their child becomes an early adolescent. Not only does the parent lose the adorable elf, the personable companion of the last decade, but the elf is replaced by a moody, distant stranger, obsessed with zits, peers and hair."
[Most of our family are elves, 'cause, like, we're short. They only get to see their "peers" in church on Sunday. I haven't noticed that much moodiness, but hey, I've got breaking news: you could be dealing with zits for the rest of your life! And, one of the reasons I cut my hair short was so I wouldn't be obsessed with it. Now, whoever invented the boys' buzz cut should be made a saint]
"At this age, kids start to interrogate, to look for inconsistencies. We think the kid is going down the drain, and we tend to become more rigid and give them more rules."
[We instituted lots of rules at the beginning. Then you can ease up once you have them properly indoctrinated..... er.... trained]
"The early adolescent doesn't listen to music; it is engulfed by it. It grunts or yells. It slams doors. It likes to be alone. It likes to be with friends. It doesn't like being with parents. It feels so much that walking near it a normal 40 year old is displaced by its energy."
[ I wasn't quite sure if the "it" referred to the adolescent, or the music... But, if you have someone that age slamming doors, you missed the boat about 7 or 8 years ago. Good luck. I am not quite sure about this "energy displacement theory," but I would hazard a guess that Mr. Garvin has been watching too many old Star Trek episodes. Frankly, the word "energy" is about the last thing that comes to mind when I call them for breakfast...]
"We give our middle schoolers mixed messages. We tell them to be themselves because we value individuality, and then tell them to be responsible, to play [sic] ahead, (I think they meant plan) and to get ready for college, when it's all they can do to change classes seven times a day and open their lockers without falling into them. When an early adolescent is being itself, it isn't being responsible in a way resembling any adult definition of responsibility."
[Well, see, this is the beauty of a large family. No one is doted on in excess. We endeavor to spread the neglect around on an even basis, and everyone must assimilate. We had this concept down way before the Borg ever sailed into the final frontier. True, we don't have the challenges of opening lockers and changing classes seven times per day, but we do have interruptions from noisy little kids, and, in the past, the occasional cardiac arrest. It's in our best interests to pull together. The children sense that, and gradually learn to do what is expected of them. Not because they are trying to impress their friends, but because they don't want to let their family down. And, seeing an older sibling set a good example is one of the best teaching methods]
"Adolescents are extremely egocentric. They live in an imaginary bubble in which they must be physically perfect for their perceived audience of thousands."
[Well, we're ALL egocentric, to a certain extent. *looks in mirror and smooths hair* When I don't have to remind certain people to take a bath, or put on a clean shirt, THEN we'll worry about people trying to attain perfection]
"One can liken the 10 to 14 year old to the frog in the fairy tale. The beautiful princess saw something good in the frog and kissed him. The frog turned into a prince. What every adolescent kid needs is at least one adult in his/her life who believes in what the young adolescent can become. Parents/teachers have to be willing to kiss a frog every day for a least three years. Why don't we all begin today?"
[Honey, I've been kissing frogs for *counts on fingers* almost 10 years, now, and I figure I've got about 11 more years to go. At this rate, my lips will be in a sling for the rest of my life.....] Tweet
posted by Ma Hoyt | 3:45 PM
1 Comments:
Oh Ma....you tell it like it is. We have been helping to teach a parenting class at school. The one enlightenment to most parents taking the class was....You are expected to be the Parent not to try to be their best friend. And this means you start this process at birth not at age 10.
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