The Progeny
Prone To Injury, Lo, I Feel It
I am beginning to think there is either something wrong with this family....or Iowa.
Let's see, Nolan broke his leg, Sharon got a severe sunburn, and Ardith had some kind of a "run-in" with a food processor. (I don't think they covered food processors in the Computer Science and Engineering Program. And, I would have warned her myself, except I have never HAD a food processor, despite blatant hints, YEAR after YEAR that this would make a WONderful Mother's Day present)
But I digress.
Now, for the third year in a row, I have broken out in red welts on arms and legs, after a mass weeding spree in the wildflowers. I think it was the ragweed. Or the field grass. Or both. (field grass is sorta like crabgrass, only on steroids) So, conveniently timed a week before two family reunions, I have these wonderful raised splotches, filling with fluid and providing hours, nay DAYS of tortuous blister popping fun. (the scars fade in about 6 months)
Every year I do this, for the sake of neighborhood beautification. And every year I forget to protect myself. (will somebody please, PLEASE remind me in late May of next year, to wear long sleeves and long pants?)
How well I remember a particular span of time, oh, about six years ago, when, in the space of 15 months, 3 children broke their arms. And don't even get me started on Loren and his problems!
And to think, all of these occurred after moving to Iowa.
It just makes one pause and think... Tweet
Let's see, Nolan broke his leg, Sharon got a severe sunburn, and Ardith had some kind of a "run-in" with a food processor. (I don't think they covered food processors in the Computer Science and Engineering Program. And, I would have warned her myself, except I have never HAD a food processor, despite blatant hints, YEAR after YEAR that this would make a WONderful Mother's Day present)
But I digress.
Now, for the third year in a row, I have broken out in red welts on arms and legs, after a mass weeding spree in the wildflowers. I think it was the ragweed. Or the field grass. Or both. (field grass is sorta like crabgrass, only on steroids) So, conveniently timed a week before two family reunions, I have these wonderful raised splotches, filling with fluid and providing hours, nay DAYS of tortuous blister popping fun. (the scars fade in about 6 months)
Every year I do this, for the sake of neighborhood beautification. And every year I forget to protect myself. (will somebody please, PLEASE remind me in late May of next year, to wear long sleeves and long pants?)
How well I remember a particular span of time, oh, about six years ago, when, in the space of 15 months, 3 children broke their arms. And don't even get me started on Loren and his problems!
And to think, all of these occurred after moving to Iowa.
It just makes one pause and think... Tweet
posted by Ma Hoyt | 6:15 PM
5 Comments:
What does a food processor actually do?
-Not militia-face, but nature-guy
Well, Nature-guy, not having OWNED one, I can only guess....
But, according to pictures and advertisements I have seen, I believe it is a mechine, by which once takes random whole vegetables and fruits, and, placing them in said processor, one pushes a magic button or two, (with varying states of "turbo-osity," no doubt,) and, seemingly out of nowhere, but, quite possibly from OUTER SPACE, very sharp blades sweep into action, slicing and dicing the aforementioned food items into random SMALL pieces of.....stuff.
Presumably, if one keeps dicing and slicing long enough, the food could actually become so small as to disapear.
If I am not mistaken, Rockwell Collins is, right now, AT THIS VERY MOMENT, working on just that. But, of course, it's all very hush-hush. So, I am certain they, or their employees, would only deny it.
Or, for the short version: a food processor takes something large and edible, and transforms it into something small and drinkable.
If one stops just short of the "drinkable" stage, you could actually end up with homemade stuffing.
I do hope this has been helpful.
OR,
it could be a mAchine that chops up vegetables (and fingers) at a much faster pace than one can accomplish with a small knife and cutting board.
Do you think they could make a fat processor....??? It could become the latest faze in weight control...to take the fat and process it till it disappears? What mad scientist can we get to develop the product for us???
Oh, honey, if only....
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