A Walk Down Nostalgia Lane

Undeniable proof that I (at least) made it through 5th grade


(more in-depth analysis, later)

[5:40] You see before you, a very rare parchment, once known as THE REPORT CARD. It has been meticulously dated at 35 years of age, by that ancient process of turning said card over, and noting, "May-29-70." This writing, was performed with a "PEN," an age-old instrument once used by students and teachers alike, to perform "information storage." The folded report card then fit neatly into an open edged envelope, of manilla persuasion. When the card was pulled out of the envelope, one's parent could look at, and observe one's grades. This was known as "information retrieval," or, as some kids used to say, "I am in SUCH big trouble, now."

But, let us take a closer look at the 5th grade achievement of "Ma." (of course, there was no reason to be called "Ma," at that juncture, so, I'll just revert to what my Dad used to call me, "Becker the Wrecker.")

So, ol' Becker did not do too badly, all things considered. I notice that she averaged "A's" in everything, except Math. I am wondering if the two "A-'s" and two "B's" couldn't possibly have averaged out to a B-plus? But, oh well. We had to learn fractions that year. My kids will testify that I am not the one they go to for help with math.

The spelling category brings a little scenario to mind. We were having a class spelling bee, and I received the word, "habit." I hesitated, and then the teacher smiled and said, "Like 'rabbit'...." So, naturally, I spelled it with two "b's." I got it wrong, and she smiled, again. This time a little guiltily. But, I am not bitter, oh no. Besides, she ended up marrying a fellow whose last name described her to a "T." So, it all evened out, in the end.

Despite being sick 31 days, I still managed to pull off an "A" in Health. *looks smug*

I'm gonna save this a few more years, then auction it off on Ebay. I stand to make quite a little bundle. Especially if I ever locate that spelling teacher.

Now, I think there's an old report card of Loren's around here somewhere.....

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