An Exhaustive Tale

Few things in life are too mundane not to warrant a little bloggish exploitation.

Ma partook of Midas waiting room ambiance today, and through the fascinating technology of digital photography and spellbinding recountal, you too, can experience the charms of muffler magic.

There was the usual array of scintillating literature: Field and Stream, Men's Journal, Car and Driver, Popular Mechanics, ATV, and for those non-mannish visitors, Highlights Children's Magazine.

I would have felt left out, except I'd brought along my homeschooling catalogs and compilation lists of books with which to make kids smart.

Here we see that Ma has risked her very life to step under the lift, just so's you can have the thrill of viewing the car's nether regions.
 It would appear several sections of the exhaust system have been removed.

Behold: a muffler with rust issues.
 

This is as good a time as any to get into some of the technical terms of the exhaust system...

Resonator:  this is a section where all the explosions that propel the car are reduced in volume. This is accomplished by luring small alien life forms into a metal doohickey where they are forced to yodel at different rates and frequencies to cancel out the loud noises from the car's engine.

Once they have paid off their indentured bondage, they are set free where many of them go on to become very successful country singers. For instance, Dolly Parton used to do back-up exhaust vocals.

But I digress....

Catalytic Converter:  Once thought to be a device that could change harmful monoxide and hydrocarbons to water vapor and carbon dioxide, the Catalytic Converter has since evolved into a highly specialized tool for winning members of the feline family to the "straight and narrow."

Emitting high frequency radio waves, the catalytic converter sends out earnest pleas for the cats to give up their life of hunting hapless baby birds and turn instead to philanthropic pursuits.....such as performing back-up for the Rolling Stones.

Every effort is made to woo each kitty in a tender, loving manner. But if stubborn resistance persists, long-term safety cannot be guaranteed.

Why, just the other day, it is rumored that an unfortunate feline was an unwitting accomplice to the untimely removal of an unhelpful exhaust pipe from an '89 Toyota Corolla. Unsettling as this news was, it is not completely un-understandable.

But on to more cheery things :-) And what could be more gladsome that a shiny new exhaust pipe?
 Look long and well, for it will not remain in this pristine condition for many minutes...

Not often seen by the average non-mechanic, this rare picture shows the ancient rite of the "Vulcan Muffler Mind-Meld." The old muffler imprints its memories on that of the new....
  "My thoughts for your thoughts....my backfires for your....."   And so on.

It's really quite touching.

*grins*

Well, that's all for now. This is Ma, reminding everyone to be kind to your cars and even your cats.

But mostly your cars.
 

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