Further Adventures of Akahbar

by Ali Gaugh Ree

Rue this. Rue that. Akahbar was getting rather tired of it all.

The pillow-making business which had seemed so attractive to the gray goose ten years ago, was now waxing pallid, interspersed with definite wanes of contentment.

It could have been the unrelenting down. Or perhaps the stuffingess wasn't quite so crafty as before. Whatever it was, the fluff had lost its silky charm and pillows now seemed a commonplace lump of puff.

Sadly, Akahbar's choices were slim. From the time he was in the roe his entire life had been plotted out for him.

As the Proprietors often said,

"Geese were made to produce pillows. Anything else is simply a sham. Re-mem-ber...you perform a vital service. Aids to blissful unconsciousness are not to be sneezed at. Besides, knowing you are cheerfully making the pillows leaves Us happily free to do more interesting things."

"Though you do not get to make the rules, you are just as important as those who do. Even so, Rule #1 states you cannot change the rules."

WELL then....who could argue with the Rulereaders? Especially rules forbidding argument.

How the meek gray-one endeavored to do his part and fit into the fowl scheme of things. And for many years he seemed untroubled, experiencing pride in his humble work.

There were times, though, that Akahbar wondered of things apart from fluff. He felt a longing to know of one thing and another, and even this and that. And occasionally, when he was feeling particularly non-compliant, he even felt the urge to search out this, that and the other thing.

Yes, Akahbar yearned for newness of niche.

Friends and relatives could not understand Akahbar's elseful pining. Obviously, there were problems with his whole pond process. As they saw it, it was bad enough that Akahbar had ponderings. But if you added in a process and got it anywhere near to being whole, dangerous results could emerge. For one thing, there was the distinct possibility that something akin to logic might spew forth, inevitably leading to....well....an emergency.

Redemption seemed nowhere NEAR to nigh and that drawing business was hardly an option.

It wasn't long before word got 'round the lochosphere.

Out of propriety the Rulereaders consulted the Job Manual:

"Article 19, section 8, paragraph nine clearly states that you were meant to be a pillow-maker....*snap*.....We have never had a problem with geese devoting long thankless hours to pillow production before. At least, not with the ones that stayed in the gaggle.....say, you haven't been listening to alternative intelligence now, have you? Remember....EVERYTHING you need to know is in the Manual. All information obtained outside the Manual is suspect, doubtful and possibly even ostensible. Any ancillary awareness on your part is only asking for anxiety."

"Have you been feeling anxious, Akahbar? Or even worse, unctuously anxious?"

The disgruntled goose thought long and stiff. He thought about what the Rulereaders would surely say to him:

"Your problem is wrong ponderings, which lead to sore peevings which lead to bad handiwork. If our crafters could just stop their wrong ponders.....or....maybe even stop pondering all to-gether, life would be more manageable. Cinchy, even. Here's what we can do: start intensive re-education sessions, followed by personal visits to your nest, followed by follow-up visits. Visits both divers and multifarious in nature."

The poor bird felt his head begin to spin...

"Well Akahbar? Speak up, goosey sill...ARE--YOU--ANXIOUS?!"

"I confess to feeling unctuous from time to time, but only in the least anxious way. If there is nothing else, I'll be getting back to my craftiness now...."

"Splendid! Your good work is always a creditable reflection on Us. And remember young fellow....just because we are the Proprietors, does not mean we are better than you, it simply means we don't hear as well."

And so the doughty goose set his woolgathering aside and resumed his downy furrow.

Occasionally he still dreamed. Dreamed of this, that and even the other thing.

But mostly he dreamt of uttering his dreams....
 

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