Dear Ma,

I have this recurring problem and I hope you can help me.

I keep putting off the chore of cleaning my refrigerator. By the time I get around to it the job lasts a LONG time, I have gobs of storage containers to wash and my kids make annoying comments like "EEWW! What's that smell?"

I know I should keep better tabs on the situation but it gets ahead of me every time no matter how much I vow to change.

What should I do?

signed,

Leftovers stink

Dear Stinkin' leftovers,

Do not despair! There is help to be had.

First of all, here's what you shouldn't do: Some people suggest keeping a list taped to the outside of your fridge door and then writing down the type of leftover and the date it's put into the refrigerator.

Do not do this. Let me repeat...DO NOT DO THIS!

That would only get in the way of more important items, like refrigerator magnets of the entire United States and leftover notices for doctor appointments from last year.

We're trying to minimize the clutter, not make more!

Also, how do you know you'll remember to write it down on the list? Maybe you'll need to have a reminder list to make sure you jot it onto the fridge list...you can see how this could snowball into an archival nightmare.

And think of the Brazilian rain forest, fer cryin' out loud!

(plus, you really ought to save room for pictures of the grandkids, even if it's still a couple of decades away. Planning ahead means you won't fall behind)

Here are a few simple tactics I would suggest:

1) Dump one thing each day. It's easy and takes only a minute and won't overwhelm you by any means. In a few short months you can have your refrigerator spanking clean. (this works best if you don't eat in the meantime. Would that be a problem?)

2) Utilize small Zip-loc bags for leftovers. Then, on the extremely remote chance that you would have to toss something, there's no scraping or transferring necessary. You just dump the little bag in the trash and wave "bye-bye" to the guilt.

Also, the clear plastic lets you see just what's inside and thereby judge how old it is. If it shows orange or red molds, that's a sign it is probably more "mature" than the stuff showing green molds. ALWAYS toss the red and orange molds before the green ones.

However, Zip-locs could be a problem in the storage of leftover soup, and that just begs the question: Is soup really necessary? Indeed, does it even qualify as good food?.

3) I would NEVER allow children in or around the kitchen while cleaning the refrigerator. They could inadvertently inhale mold spores and develop a debilitating disease, sue you for all your worth and get this....you could even lose your refrigerator!

No, it would be much better to have your husband take them off to Disneyland for a week or two. This would leave you with the peace and quiet you need (and deserve) to concentrate on building up your strength to tackle the loathsome chore.

And as long as you have the extra time, you may as well take in a few shows and visit restaurants for the first week or so to get yourself in the proper frame of mind. Like I said, you need to build up your strength. This includes the emotional and cultural sides as well as the physical. As the Good Book says, "Man shall not live by bread alone." (by the way, you might want to throw in a hot stone massage, I hear they're very relaxing)

Something you will also want to consider is just chucking the whole fridge (with contents) and buying a new one. By the time your husband gets out of the psych ward after taking the children to Disneyland without you, he won't even notice that little charge for a new major appliance.

If he does, just remind him that you didn't get to go to Disneyland.

Well, I hope this helps. Hang in there and oh yes...don't forget the scented candles.

You burn enough candles and people will think you're one of those overachievers that has time to make potpourri.

Best wishes, Ma
 

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