Teeth of Wisdom

Part the Third: When last we left the oral surgery waiting room, that solitary and solemnic interrogative had been uttered...."Derek?" The nurse-of-woe waited patiently while the victim-to-be took inordinate amounts of time returning reading materials to his backpack (not unlike the inordinate amount of time it takes to flesh out, "they pulled four teeth").

Ma was also allowed back to prep, ostensibly to provide support for the surgeree, but in reality to obtain the papers-of-prescription-for-addictive-drugs. All preparatory work being completed, our heroic mother-of-ten proceeded to the dental pharmacy without error, which, contrary to directions, was NOT located 'after the coffee shop,' being as there was no actual dispensing-station-of-caffeine.

After the encouraging comments from the pharmacist, "We'll try to run this through and see what happens..." Ma proceeded back to the waiting room, where much to her surprise, no one had absconded with her Master Gardening study materials. It was at this point, however, that our matronic personage found she had new distractions, the disquieting dialogue of an "All My Children-ish" nature. (and while we do hope the brave folks at Pine Valley have recovered from their horrendous tornado experience, they will not be entering into our recounting of Teeth of Wisdom, beyond this one, very belabored point)

Time passing, and the search for tornadic-victims-of-Pine-Valleyness continuing (OK, I lied), Ma did begin to glance occasionally at her watch, wondering what was taking so long. This anxiety became heightened as the 50-minute mark passed, helped in no way by the nurse's comment, "We might even be done by the time you return from the pharmacy."

HOWEVER, the young doctor-of-4th-year-residency did issue forth, bringing his extreme tallness into the vicinity of Ma's height-impaired self. Balm-like tidings were spoken by his beatific visage, and Ma could almost glimpse the mouth which spake through the wispy clouds surrounding the alpine-like mountain head. "Normal," and "came out easily" were the words-of-soothingness, delivered with a broad smile and repeated. It is important, here, to note that the word "normal" was reiterated several times, and may this humble author state, that when you hear the word "normal" that many times, you can be sure it wasn't, quite.

After several more minutes of waiting, Ma was ushered back to recovery, with those immortal words, "I'd feel more comfortable if you were sitting with him, since his heart rate keeps going low and setting off the alarms." And there in the chair of reclination sat The Derek, dozing and waking, dozing and waking, dozing and waking and vehemently denying he had walked to that room from surgery.

As the nurse returned from time to time, adjuring the patient to "think fast thoughts" when his heart dipped below 36, she casually asked if Ma had spoken with the doctor. The ever cheerful Ma replied that indeed she had, and listed the numerous times "normal" had been mentioned. It was then that the nurse let forth, "we had to bag him," and, "I thought you should know." At which point, The Ma, who has oft been the receiver of disconcerting-medical-news-after-the-fact, laughed bitterly to herself, and thought, "It figures."

Thus ends, Teeth of Wisdom: Part the Third (it is hoped the fourth and final part will be shortly forthcoming, as we have become quite tired of thinking about it, but are determined to see it through to the end, that no words may be left unwhined)
 

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