That Time of Year

Well, it's that time of year. Time to peruse garden catalogs, forgetting about the miserable failures of last year's vegetables. Time to plan new flower borders. There is always the chance that, instead of the usual lifeless and anemic display, THIS will be the year it all comes together, with a showy cascade of blooms.

Oh yes, it's also time to order graduation announcements. See, we didn't do much for high school graduation, so, I thought we should really do something to commemorate Ardith receiving her college degree. Now, I know some parents have the student do all the planning and ordering, but I am happy to take on this small task. No, actually, it is a privilege, perhaps even an evil pleasure.

I've found a nice website (it's slow) that will send us lovely decorated sheets and envelopes, which we just run though our printer, making custom (and much cheaper) graduation announcements. Then we can get some of the kids to fold them so as to make this a real family affair. Nolan needs to practice his kindergarten skills, anyway. I haven't quite decided on the exact wording yet, but here are a few samples:

1) Down and Homey
Pa an Ma Haw-it iz jus 'bout to bust-- ar-- buttons, we iz SO proud oven dis dawt-er afarn.
("Which-a-one issen dis, Pa? I gets em so confused..." "How's I know? I done loss track fer kids ago, Ma. Jus pick uh name outta dee hat. It don't likely madder, much. Dem techies be all alocks...Bye dee way, what iz a 'farn?'") Wall, enyways, arn lil' gurl, Ardith, has done reeeel good. She be fixin' ta grad-jee-ate froma this hear Yune-vers-tee calt (lessee, whut waz dat...) "Let-her-go." Yess, ah thinks dat be it. "Dee Yune-vers-tee uh Let-her-go."
She dun got herself a reel nice job, an she's a gorner bah ussen uh manshun somewheres neerbye so's we's kin all liv wither. Y'all come visit us. Ah knowd she'd lock tha-yut. (p.s. Dontch'all call her, fust, causin' she luvs s'prizes)

2) Somewhat Conventional
It is with great pleasure, that Loren and Rebecca Hoyt, announce the upcoming graduation of Ardith Hoyt from LeTourneau University. Etymologically speaking, the word "Letourneau," comes from the French word for "The turning water." We are fairly certain this speaks of some relationship to the invention of the first flush toilet, but we are not absolutely positive. What we are sure about, is that there is absolutely no relationship to this mechanism and the quality of our daughter's degree. We just thought it amusing, and since it came up in prayer group, we are somewhat confident it does not connote gossip. Oh yes, Congratulations to our daughter.

3) Rap
"Yo. Ar-do.
We want the world to know.
It looks like you will graduate in just a month or so."

"You. Are cool.
You are nobody's fool.
Soon you'll earn some money that would make yo daddy drool."

"Clap. Yo hands.
Bring out all the bands.
Ar-do is a techie, now and gives out the commands."

"Yo. Ar-do. Yo. Ard-do. Yo. Ar-do......"
________________

Well, that's all I've come up with so far. Not to seem manipulative, or anything, but increasingly bizarre versions could well come about, depending on how long it takes someone to pick out her design preference.

Who knew being a mom could be such fun?

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