Further Adventures of Akahbar

by Ali Gaugh Ree

Akahbar the goose, was perplexed. Truth be told, he was perturbed. With occasional forays into miffery and disgruntleness.

He had, after all, endured untold horrors while imprisoned by the environmental scientists. Nevertheless, he had endured, and come forth a dimly glowing (albeit not shining) example of your night-light-type-bulb-of-a-goose. But despite his weathering of a perfectly stormy time, the blue skies would keep fading off to cloudy grays and somber shades of slate. Akahbar's already tenuous hold on his emotions threatened to disengage. As in, become unattached.

Though jerky, he was no longer perky. While tearful, he was nowhere CLOSE to cheerful. And all because of Todd. Todd, being Akahbar's pet turtle.

In the past, Todd had exhibited long stretches of bad-tempered behavior, with brief interludes of disagreeable deportment. He had, as they say, a mean mien.

But Akahbar had stuck with the tortoise. He loved him. And, as his caretaker, Akahbar felt a sense of duty to his hard-shelled charge. A turtle such as Todd, could not be let loose on the public. Oh no. For Todd had a few faults, in addition to his less than amiable attitude.

Todd had the unfortunate habit of biting the wing that fed him. And, purloinage. The turtle had a tendancy to "find" things that others had not the foresight to bolt to the floor of a padlocked cell made of twelve inch steel, encased in kryptonite. (the new and improved variety)

And now, after an extended absence from his wild-thing-of-a-terrestial-reptile, Akhabar had hoped, nay DREAMED that Todd would have turned over a new shell.

But it was not to be. For despite the extraordinary circumstances of the past, Todd was still nipping and tucking with wild abandon.

Well then, what was poor Akahbar to do? Were strong-wing tactics called for? Was a right-armed biped needed? Could the situation demand the ultimate punitive measure, induction into the British monarchy ?

Making this tricky wicket even more sticky, were Todd's next of kin. Although of no tangible help to the lad, they were of a much admired tier in society. To cast aspersions on the turtle's behavior would most decidedly offend the sensibilities of his noble lineage. Perhaps even his family. Progeny on both ends of the turtle spectrum could well be affected. Yes, it was a turtle conundrum of mammoth proportions. Tears? Or tiers? That was the question.

As loath as Akahbar was to squeal, he had started harboring vaguish plans to "let the cat out of the bag," or, as spoken in fowlish terms, "Be a loosey-goosey."

And so, Akahbar pondered.

He pondered, and began to take singing lessons........

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