The Progeny
Sneezing....
...it's just so fulfilling.
And I find that with each passing year they get louder.
Gone are the petite little girlie sneezes of yesteryear. The kind that remind you of sweet young lassies, dressed in pinafores and skipping through wildflowers.
Nowadays the sneezes are more akin to large Amazons charging through the rain forest, wearing combat boots and a necklace made from Bambi's teeth.
But aside from the forced similes, I'm really starting to frighten the kids. And this is a family where we discourage people from jumping out and saying, "Boo!" No one wants a cardiac arrest on their conscience, after all.
Unfortunately, Ma's sneezes are getting SO LOUD and unexpected that we are in danger of causing emotional scarring in the children.
I'm trying ever so hard not to get sick.
Zicam...zinc lozenges, and anything else that starts with 'z.'
Sneezing feels really good, though. Sorta like politically correct yelling.
Does anyone know why sneezes get louder with age?
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And I find that with each passing year they get louder.
Gone are the petite little girlie sneezes of yesteryear. The kind that remind you of sweet young lassies, dressed in pinafores and skipping through wildflowers.
Nowadays the sneezes are more akin to large Amazons charging through the rain forest, wearing combat boots and a necklace made from Bambi's teeth.
But aside from the forced similes, I'm really starting to frighten the kids. And this is a family where we discourage people from jumping out and saying, "Boo!" No one wants a cardiac arrest on their conscience, after all.
Unfortunately, Ma's sneezes are getting SO LOUD and unexpected that we are in danger of causing emotional scarring in the children.
I'm trying ever so hard not to get sick.
Zicam...zinc lozenges, and anything else that starts with 'z.'
Sneezing feels really good, though. Sorta like politically correct yelling.
Does anyone know why sneezes get louder with age?
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posted by Ma Hoyt | 8:35 PM
3 Comments:
I always remember our Aunt Margaret's sneezes. If you recall, she was an "Amazon" in stature, around 6 feet tall, but she had the most delicate sneeze: achoo, achoo, achoo. (If I could reduce the type to illustrate I would.) Always three times in quick succession.
Regarding the "word of the year" here's a cartoon link I think you might enjoy:
http://www.greenbaypressgazette.com/
apps/pbcs.dll/section?category=GPG0601
When I paste that into my browser, it shows a selection of place to go: choose the Green Bay Press Gazette 7-day archives and check out Joe Heller's cartoons. One is on the word of the day; the other is about Cleaning Up Iowa--I think you'll like that one too. Hopefully the links work--I'd hate to be sending you on a wild goose chase.
What you need to do to avoid sneezing is not try not to get sick, since sneezing is your body's way of getting rid of germs -- instead, try to get the germs too scared to get near you in the first place.
Well Terry, I found the first one alright..after I got to the Green Bay Press Gazette site I entered "Joe Heller" into the search box, but I couldn't find the one about Iowa.
Is it in the same paper by the same guy?
Naturally I would love to see any cartoon concerning Iowa :-)
Sharon, I think what you're saying is that I should wear really heavy makeup. Would that be scary enough?
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