The Progeny
Extreme Ma Makeover, Week Six
Well folks, I think we have a little good news to report! But first, a couple of Ma's tried and true techniques for weigh-in day.
First of all, don't eat breakfast before weighing yourself. This may seem like a no-brainer, but there are plenty of people out there who text while driving, so we can never assume everyone's thinking clearly. I've even heard there are still people who listen to disco music so, I'm just sayin'....
Do however, take care of all the morning....er, rituals. This includes blowing your nose but not, I repeat, NOT applying deodorant. That thin film could be the extra ounce that bounces you up half a pound.
And it doesn't get any prettier with large pores.
Another little trick I employ is to close my eyes and repeat hysterically, "Please be down, please be down, please be down...." in the general direction of the scale. I can't say for certain if this helps, but it surely can't hurt, and if you did it long enough...say, 24 to 48 hours, you could probably burn an extra 100 calories.
Okay then, on to the report!
...*drum roll*......
This week's weigh-in: lost 2.5 pounds :-D
That makes 10.5 pounds lost over 6 weeks.
YAY FER MA!
Plus, I exercised superhuman restraint in not checking my weight during the week.
The bad part is that according to historical precedence, the next seven days will show no change, whatsoever.
But by that time I hope to have my do-it-yourself-liposuction-procedure ready for implementation.
Tweet
First of all, don't eat breakfast before weighing yourself. This may seem like a no-brainer, but there are plenty of people out there who text while driving, so we can never assume everyone's thinking clearly. I've even heard there are still people who listen to disco music so, I'm just sayin'....
Do however, take care of all the morning....er, rituals. This includes blowing your nose but not, I repeat, NOT applying deodorant. That thin film could be the extra ounce that bounces you up half a pound.
And it doesn't get any prettier with large pores.
Another little trick I employ is to close my eyes and repeat hysterically, "Please be down, please be down, please be down...." in the general direction of the scale. I can't say for certain if this helps, but it surely can't hurt, and if you did it long enough...say, 24 to 48 hours, you could probably burn an extra 100 calories.
Okay then, on to the report!
...*drum roll*......
This week's weigh-in: lost 2.5 pounds :-D
That makes 10.5 pounds lost over 6 weeks.
YAY FER MA!
Plus, I exercised superhuman restraint in not checking my weight during the week.
The bad part is that according to historical precedence, the next seven days will show no change, whatsoever.
But by that time I hope to have my do-it-yourself-liposuction-procedure ready for implementation.
Tweet
posted by Ma Hoyt | 9:37 AM
3 Comments:
When you finish your job as teacher you can earn some extra cash as a stand-up comic! And good job on meeting your goals!
Yay for Mommy!
Nothing cheers me up like reading your blog.
Except, Thainamu, I don't do well in person. Not very funny and can't think fast.
Stuff pops into my head while I'm typing or mowing the lawn.
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