The Progeny
Lipid Primer, the 2nd
The extraordinary event of a bald eagle alighting nearby this morning, brought about the posting of another picture.(below) I can assure you that this will not be a regular event. I am fully aware of my inadequacies as a photographer. That's why I'm sticking to things I really know. Like, cholesterol.
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Good cholesterol. Bad cholesterol. We've all heard the terms, but what are they, really?
Bad cholesterol, from my understanding, are little punk lipids, dressed in leather with copious amounts of rivets and nose rings. (the rivets being in the leather, and the rings being in the nose) Good cholesterol, on the other hand, are dapper little guys that listen to classical music and always, always do their homework. This is the short, layman's definition.
The real question is: "What makes the "bad guys" SOOooo BAD? And, why do they multiply so quickly?" The answer lies in that age old debate: Nature vs. Nurture. Or, as we progressives like to think of it: Nature vs. Nurture vs. Alien Invaders From a galaxy Far, Far Away.
I speak, of course, of pharmaceutical company reps. We've all seen these people. They are the ones that slip in to see the doctor, while us sickies are left in the waiting room, cooling our heels with a two-year-old copy of Prevention Magazine. They are able to see the doctor during our regularly scheduled appointments because they routinely leave small, sugar-laden bribes with the ladies at the desk. (I have seen this with my very own eyes)
They HAVE to visit with doctors because there are simply not enough of us poor dupes begging our medicos for drugs. Reps must create a need, with both the potential patient and the practitioner. Their real goal having been attained, (getting past the front desk) they then strategically place their self-activating cholesterol atomizers. These are small nondescript objects, which look remarkably like "Glade Plug-ins," and silently permeate the air with highly absorbable, bad cholesterol particles, just waiting for you and your pores to walk by. (reps usually work in pairs, one making surreptitious "placements" while the other distracts the doc)
And those attractive leather cases they are always lugging around? Those do not just carry medicine samples. Oh no. The cases double as miniature inter-galactic transportation devices. The reps visit the doctors' offices, ply them with their wares, and then zip back to their home planet to make more commercials. (Admittedly, I have never seen this happen, but I am almost certain it does, along with a short-term amnesiac substance administered to the doctor. Probably from a fake, complimentary pen)
The commercial then, is an integral part of this whole conspiracy. For, who in their right mind would go to their doctor and beg them for more medication? No, fear must be driven into the heart of each consumer, metaphorically speaking. The doctor cannot be trusted with simply taking tests, assessing results and making his own decisions. The pharmaceutical companies are counting on people running to their doctors in droves and imploring them with requests such as, "Doc, you've gotta give me a cholesterol lowering drug, before I run into a glass door while leaving the gym!"
Well, that about does it for today's tutorial. So many fun facts. So little time.....
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_____________
Good cholesterol. Bad cholesterol. We've all heard the terms, but what are they, really?
Bad cholesterol, from my understanding, are little punk lipids, dressed in leather with copious amounts of rivets and nose rings. (the rivets being in the leather, and the rings being in the nose) Good cholesterol, on the other hand, are dapper little guys that listen to classical music and always, always do their homework. This is the short, layman's definition.
The real question is: "What makes the "bad guys" SOOooo BAD? And, why do they multiply so quickly?" The answer lies in that age old debate: Nature vs. Nurture. Or, as we progressives like to think of it: Nature vs. Nurture vs. Alien Invaders From a galaxy Far, Far Away.
I speak, of course, of pharmaceutical company reps. We've all seen these people. They are the ones that slip in to see the doctor, while us sickies are left in the waiting room, cooling our heels with a two-year-old copy of Prevention Magazine. They are able to see the doctor during our regularly scheduled appointments because they routinely leave small, sugar-laden bribes with the ladies at the desk. (I have seen this with my very own eyes)
They HAVE to visit with doctors because there are simply not enough of us poor dupes begging our medicos for drugs. Reps must create a need, with both the potential patient and the practitioner. Their real goal having been attained, (getting past the front desk) they then strategically place their self-activating cholesterol atomizers. These are small nondescript objects, which look remarkably like "Glade Plug-ins," and silently permeate the air with highly absorbable, bad cholesterol particles, just waiting for you and your pores to walk by. (reps usually work in pairs, one making surreptitious "placements" while the other distracts the doc)
And those attractive leather cases they are always lugging around? Those do not just carry medicine samples. Oh no. The cases double as miniature inter-galactic transportation devices. The reps visit the doctors' offices, ply them with their wares, and then zip back to their home planet to make more commercials. (Admittedly, I have never seen this happen, but I am almost certain it does, along with a short-term amnesiac substance administered to the doctor. Probably from a fake, complimentary pen)
The commercial then, is an integral part of this whole conspiracy. For, who in their right mind would go to their doctor and beg them for more medication? No, fear must be driven into the heart of each consumer, metaphorically speaking. The doctor cannot be trusted with simply taking tests, assessing results and making his own decisions. The pharmaceutical companies are counting on people running to their doctors in droves and imploring them with requests such as, "Doc, you've gotta give me a cholesterol lowering drug, before I run into a glass door while leaving the gym!"
Well, that about does it for today's tutorial. So many fun facts. So little time.....
Tweet
posted by Ma Hoyt | 4:52 PM
3 Comments:
Something you might also want to know is that drug reps often provide physicians with that mythical beast known as "a free lunch."
Drug reps are, in fact, allowed to do pretty much anything except give doctors money. I've got a bunch of weird pens, cool clocks, and disturbing ties to prove it.
-Paul
And, am I to assume that you are either a drug rep or a doctor?
*synapses fire* "BING"
Uh, do I owe someone an apology?
Congratulations, Mommy, you've convinced me to never again drink tea while reading your blog!
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