Shady Doin's

Ever since Loren and I returned home from Rochester, there has been much complaining. Not that we have returned home, but as to the study conditions in the living room. We have beautiful swags and valences made by my sister-in-law Nora. (Nora, if you get a blog, I could link to you....)

ANYWAY, I had promised to get window shades for the morning and afternoon sun, which is especially potent during the winter season. Something about "Our brains are being fried in our skulls. We just can't think, anymore!" (really, I don't know where they pick up this maudlin and melodramatic talk)

I didn't get around to it before leaving in November. And after returning, I felt they were quite possibly exaggerating, until I entered the room and detected an aroma reminiscent of scorched clothing. (don't worry, Nora, I'm pretty sure it wasn't your swags, just the couches or the kids, or both) And, when I sat down to listen to someone's schoolwork, I found myself accosted by the heat and glare of intense and unrelenting sunlight. It was clear that something had to be done, and done fast. (or is that, "done fastly?" See, I told you the sun was hot)

And so, I did what any self-respecting mother would do, I took my young charge over to the cool kitchen table and told the remaining kids, "Quit-cher whinin', fer cryin' out loud!"

And, after that, I went to my computer and started browsing the website I had bookmarked from last summer. So many lovely fabrics and weaves to choose from! I had my eye on a little number with a scalloped edge, off white, of which there were 8 or 9 types, in various degrees of "offness." Carefully I entered my measurements for one of the four windows, just to get an idea of price. *gulp* It didn't take me long to realize we had two options: order the lovely pull shades and sell two of the kids, or give serious consideration to the cheapos at Wal-Mart.

*thinks long and hard*

Well, since Loren was planning to redo all windows in a couple years (in a perfect world) I felt I could not justify the expense. But, what is one overpriced company's loss, is another's (purveyor of eternally cheap goods) gain.

I found that at Wal-Mart, the prices were far less, and the selection even more so. For instance, for colors, there was boring white, gray-white, and the type of beige that-would-have-been-PERFECT-except-for-fact-that-they-didn't-have-them in the large size.
So, refusing to buy plain white, I bought the grayish cast, reasoning that, if I couldn't have what I really wanted, I would make a small but symbolic protest by buying an exceptionally bad match.

And so the shades were purchased, along with mounting brackets, 'cause hey, "Ma" is no dummy. She knows they have to hang up there on something. The fact that I bought the wrong type of mounting brackets is of little or no concern, since we have a teen with a driver's license in the house. And everyone knows that a TWADLITH is just a coiled spring, waiting to be aimed in the direction of a store. ANY store.

At last, with all accessories assembled, and a few more comments such as, "My forehead's so hot, I think I have a fever...." it was time to get things in motion. "So, Loren, the kids were wondering if you could put up the shades, soon, " I mentioned, hopefully, to my husband who was in the midst of simultaneously disenabling several computers under the guise of performing upgrades. "You mean I have to do that, TOO?!" "Well," I replied coyly, "you surely don't want ME to do it, do you?" (hoping he would remember the time I "borrowed" his power saw to make a set of misshapen blocks for a birthday present.") Really, you can't be soft with these heart transplant patients.

Loren worked while we watched the news and offered moral support. ("You know, it's hard to hear with all that hammering....") By the time supper was ready (or, it may have been afterwards, I really can't remember.....Let's just say it was later that same day) the shades were mounted and pulled to maximum length. "These have to stay in this position for 24 hours to keep the wrinkles out." "Sure. We can do that. Aren't you glad that's over? Thanks!" (encouraging smile from grateful wife) "Let's just hope they don't fall apart in a couple of days," was his glum response.
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The morning dawned on a new day, though we hardly noticed. The shades were down and the sun was behind numerous clouds, somewhat distorting the desired effect. Now appearing cavelike, we had to turn on all the lamps. All day. But, that's OK, for when ol' Sol pops out again, we will be ready!

And then, there is the advantage of being able to watch movies in the afternoon, unhindered by glare.

That's the real reason we became shady.

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