Wedding picture goodliness

Ma has another nephew wedding to plaster all over creation. This is the youngest male of Loren's oldest brother, Bruce's tribe, Bevan and wife Elrike.

Congratulations to the lovely couple!


It was an October wedding, which is the onset of spring in New Zealand (way to get the pics out in a timely manner, guys).

Just to rehearse a little Hoyt history, Bruce and Lois moved from the United States to New Zealand when they had 6 children, and had two more over there. With Bevan now married, that leaves one more to go.

Here is a Hoyt family shot. You can see where they probably made up two thirds of the attendance at the wedding :-D
Between bride and groom is Bruce--father of the groom, and Lois--mother of the groom, is just to the right of Enrike.

I believe Bevan was the one who did strange things like ride a unicycle and juggle with flaming torches or maybe Uzis...I don't recall. ANYWAY, he does stuff like that and here he is reenacting his initial attempts to attract a mate, not unlike the displays of plummage witnessed between certain birds.
I am hoping that this illustration of the Hoyt penchant for idiosyncratic behavior will help others to understand just a little bit of what I go through, having married into the Hoyt family.

But I'm not asking for sympathy, oh no. Just send money to help allay my mental health expenses.
 

Tweet

You Know You're Getting Old When...

• ...you look in the mirror on Sunday morning and discover you fit right in with all the matronly plump-and-past-their-prime women you saw walking around the mall as a teenager.
  
• ...you keep making random mistakes at the checkout counter concerning the technological advancement of pin pads, whereas in the old days, all you punched were the buttons on your calculator to see how much food you'd have to put back on the grocery shelves.
  
• ...you find yourself sending emails to the wrong people, because your computer is not up to speed with your mouse button, and so even if you THINK you're clicking on the right address, your computer will send it to someone else who is totally confused about why the public library is getting an email concerning your gynecological visit--which didn't happen, by the way, but you get the idea.
  
• ...you finally wise up and realize that life doesn't get smoother, but you do have many legitimate reasons to take a nap.
  

Tweet

It is Sunday (in case you didn't know)

 


This oak is on the west side of 380, just above Cedar Rapids. Beautiful specimen of a tree!

I touched up the background tint a bit, but there are times when that very color of sky is seen.

Ma survived the workshop yesterday, but there are stories to tell, necessitating a 2-part "Weekend Adventures With Ma," sometime soon.

There is a dusting of snow on the ground, and we shall enjoy a break in the weather today before interesting things move in from the north.

Have a good day and ciao, baby.
 

Tweet

Big, Big Weekend, up at the Hoytstead

For Ma, anyway.

This afternoon, Melinda and I are traveling up to Clear Lake for a "Greening up Your Garden," workshop, from 1-5.

All kinds of goodly stuffs, plus we get to log in hours for the annual 6 hours of continuing education, part of the Master Gardner program requirement.

Creating Certified Wildlife Havens--(not interested in having an official haven, nor in some of the wildlife pests, but wouldn't mind a larger variety of birds and butterflies)

Raingardens--(deals with rain run-off)

Iowa's Native Prairie--(now THAT should be interesting. Someday...)

Vermicomposting--(I think this is a variation of vermicelli. Probably why they charge the $10.00, to pay for food preparation. I think it's nice they'll be feeding us, like that.)

Make and Take Reuse Projects--(sounds like just the ticket for Ardith's upcoming birthday. I can recycle some old tin cans, spray-paint them gold, and voilà! And attractive lawn ornament! She will be so pleased :-)

And the fact that all this takes place north of us is a bonus, since the southeastern corner of Iowa is under a SNOW ADVISORY.

Then tomorrow, Derek and I will be brown-baggin' it from church as we head down to Waterloo for the Cantus concert. Ma can hardly wait! Real music. Spent in the company of people who don't have to be kept quiet.

Life is finally getting to the point where I can enjoy it, once in a while. I just don't get people who say they miss having babies... Every part of life has its own season, and I won't deny the fulfillment of "raisin' the brood," so to speak, but I have no regrets about the loosening of a trace or two.

And now, Ma must brush up on her Italian cooking, so as to be ready for the vermicomposting seminar.
 

Tweet

The Ma Side

 

Winthrop Robin glanced at his tarsal-held combination thermometer/barometer/rain gauge and with no little dismay, observed the 20 degree reading. "That tears it," his thoughts aswirl with rueful, bitter remorse. "I shall never take Cousin Vinnie's migratory advice, ever again !"
 

Tweet

It's Over

As in, testing for this school year.

And now we await the verdict, which was never a problem until last year. But it is over, I've tried to prep the underachiever and there's nothing more to be done but sit back and eat chocolate.

Speaking of which, I have a new theory. It involves the quality of the chocolate one eats.

As previously mentioned, I did start buying an inferior and cheaper brand of chocolate a couple weeks ago. An intriguing possibility has presented itself: the better the quality of chocolate, the less one eats.

In other words, the ol' giant Hershey bars, while easier on the budget, were disappearing at a quicker pace. Ma's hypothesis is that with less satisfaction, one mindlessly eats more.

Of course, this has not involved the usual stringent scientific protocols of double blind studies, peer reviewed articles and postmortem examinations of chocoholic brains.

Instead, just the humble opinion of a confirmed chocolate aficionado who does all the buying and "slightly" more than 50% of the eating.

If anyone wants to volunteer for the above scientific protocols, however, just give me a call.

Tomorrow I look forward to sleeping in, as well as a return to the normal responsibilities of mere feeding and clothing management, overseeing school, keeping track of appointments and calendars, enforcement of bedtime rituals, and seeing that chores are executed rather than people.
 

Tweet

"Restore Previous Session?"

(yes, O annoying computer of interruption)

Now, where was I before everything went blank...
_________________

First off, I talked to my Mom on the phone again, yesterday. She sounded a little stronger then when I talked with her on Sunday. So thanks for praying :-)
_________________

It's been a draining week.

Every morning entails getting up early and driving the kids 25 minutes to Wellsburg, and then sitting in the car, reading, for an hour and 45 minutes. And that last part's not so bad, except this whole business has totally thrown off my exercise schedule.

When I get home there is still the usual school to do with Trevor and Nolan...

Tomorrow is the last day. They have, among other things, the dreaded "reference materials."

Always the weakest link in our school preparation, for some reason.

I went shopping today, which I hafta admit...*yawn*...doesn't sound that exciting, other than the fact that I managed to stay awake and not run into any semis or other miscellaneous road hogs.

Alas, I was somewhat spaced out at the grocery store checkout, having pressed the wrong card option three times in a row before the patient clerk informed me of my error.

However, I did get out of there with the food and no arrest record, so that was good.

Then, close to home and just as I was approaching the crucial bridge where I have to make critical vehicle maneuvers to avoid running over a dead skunk that's been there for over a month and has simply refused to move, I got a phone call from Loren. It involved something about paying for the food and I really wasn't sure if he wanted me to go back and return it or what, but since I doubted whether my tired self could stand the emotional strain of going past the dead skunk again, I continued on home.

Whereupon I had to call the debit card company because they had records of someone trying to access my account, SEVERAL TIMES, unsuccessfully, to which I had to explain that everything was alright, it was just me being stupid and hitting the wrong buttons, to which the kind lady replied that she had done that very thing, herself.

And that was pretty much my excitement for the day.
 

Tweet

Life in the Yard

It's been raining lizards, yesterday and today, but the sun finally came out, giving Ma a chance to search for new life on Planet Hoyt.

Once of several hollyhocks, south side of the house


Not the first robin. And not very close, but still, a robin :-)


Another attempt at tree transplantation
This maple belongs to Carolyn (though Ethan claims partial rights) and is named, "Arrow." It came from her section of the garden, and replaces the lost-cause-ash, which replaced the storm-hit-maple, from last year.

While pruning the apple trees, I noticed this praying mantis egg sac.
Nolan tells me it can hold 300-400 little bug-beasties.

Very happy to see the pussy willow putting out catkins
This shrub came from a flower arrangement at Dad's funeral. It grew on a farm that my brother and sister-in-law own. Lorinda collected and put together the beautiful arrangement. I took one stick and upon the advice of brother Solly, stuck it in water and it rooted!

It's got sentimental value.
 

Tweet

Oops

I just realized I'd forgotten to post today.

This morning was the first day of testing for Nolan, Ethan and Carolyn. We got to the Wellsburg middle school in good time and found the principle's office with the aid of nice students :-) {Princi-PAL..it's PRINCIPAL! Can you believe I did that a-again?}

Ma is very happy they are testing in such a quiet environment.

I spent the time out in the Green Dragon Lady Lincoln, reading a book. I did take a break to get gas and come back and read some more. There was driving rain most of the time, but I managed to keep the chocolate I'd bought at Casey's, safe and dry.

Tomorrow I'll probably read some more and go exploring for more places to buy chocolate.

Wellsburg is a small town but they do have a main street section so I could always go there and pretend I'm a tourist from New York or something.
 

Tweet

Travel Updates, and more

Ma is happy to report that Kendra arrived safely back at Grace College, this evening.

Also, word just in that Jason is once again in the loving arms of LeTourneau University.

So much for spring break! Ethan, ever alert to the inequities of life has bugged me because HE does not get spring break. I told him, "Hey, you get to go to testing all next week...what's not to love?"

Also, I would ask prayer for my mom. She had some problems with low blood sugar this past week and has been feeling kinda punk. Tired and wanting to rest all the time.

So if you could remember her in your prayers, I would appreciate it. Mom turns 91 tomorrow!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM :-)
 

Tweet

Ma Makes Hummus

It's been a rather satisfactory morning, here at the Big House.

First off, it had become painfully apparent that Ma needed to clear off her desk, a wee bit.

There were piles. Piles in danger of falling and totally messing up my "pile organizational plan."

In addition, Ma and the Derek-lad have big plans to attend a concert in another week, and I needed to find---those---tickets!

Which I did. Come afternoon of the 29th, we two, music aficionados shall hear Cantus, at the Gallagher Bluedorn, in Waterloo.

Oh boy :-)

As well as rediscovering the tickets and producing (some) open space on el desko, Ma put in the online order for this year's garden seeds. It took a while, since I misplaced the paper with my schematic. But after I'd pretty much made out a new one, I found the original, tucked neatly into the catalog.

ANY-way, it's done despite my inefficiency and the website's lame slowness.

But that's not ALL, oh no.

Ma also made hummus this morning, or at least, something close to it, since I discovered real hummus contains sesame seed and paste. Just my luck I'd neglected to keep that in the larder.

But we've given it a brave try, with my garlic powder, lemon juice, and get this....REAL ONIONS!

Hey, I haven't been cooking for 27 years for nothing.

And now I'm finding my inner Italian chef. It comes from watching "Create" on the PBS channel during the lunchtime treadmill session. The news station won't come in, so Ma has been walking and drooling over Lydia's Italy and other cookery shows.

Course, due to the noise of the fan, I can't always hear everything they say, but I'm pretty sure I could prepare a monkfish if my life depended upon it.

Slice them up thin and pop them in the toaster, I believe it was.

Now, to see if anyone will eat this stuff....
 

Tweet

Dear Ma,

I am a middle-aged male who's been on a weight-loss program for several weeks. At first, everything seemed to be going well, but recently I have hit a slump. I hear that you are experienced in the ups and downs of losing weight. Can you give me some ideas to get off this plateau?

Signed,

El Tubbo

Dear Mr. Tubbs,

I'm assuming that last line was metaphorical and that you have not been marooned on a steppe somewhere and in need of assistance (in which case, please call 911). You came to the right place, my dear sir! I have great expertise in the area of weight fluctuation. Which begs the question: why is it people are always asking me how to lose weight, but never how to gain weight? It seems a waste of my talents and natural resources. This well of caloric amplitude has not been drawn from in any way, shape or drip.

However, you did not come to Ma's fountain of counsel to increase your weight, but rather to lose, so here is what you should do: (notice I did not say try. The problem with people today is that they refuse to take a stand, so none of this wishy-washy "try" business...it's gonna hafta be "do" and that's it!)

Anyway,

You've heard the following phrases: "Jump in the shower," and "Hit the treadmill." Many shortsighted people will automatically take the position that these phrases are idiomatic in nature. That, however, makes no sense, for why would these words be written down if they had no literal meaning?

In my book, "Jump in the shower" means just that...jumping up and down in the shower stall. It's aerobic and safe and takes place in a small enough environment that the noise and potential sweaty smell will not offend other people. Particularly if you're the only one in the shower. Plus, you're right where you need to be for the ol' post-exercise cleanup!

And "Hit the treadmill" is no different, except that I would highly recommend donning boxing gloves before going at it, unless your treadmill is made of soft absorbent cloth, which would lead me to believe you have been the unfortunate victim of that nefarious infomercial with the fast-talking dude who promotes SHAM-WOW!

At any rate, I think that should give you two good activities to work on for the next week or so. You never want to change too many things too fast, as that can be somewhat unsustainable in the the long run.

I hope this helps you, sir...now, go out there and break a leg!

Signed,

Ma
 

Tweet

Ma's Literary Corner

Ma is reading a most interesting book, The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind, by Mark A. Noll. The publisher is Wm. B. Eerdmans, Grand Rapids, Michigan and the year, 1994.

I realize that I'm not following strict rules for citation, but I do have to get on with school for the kiddos, which wraps it all up into one of life's sweet little ironies.

Since I've given the basic info, I'll just tack on the page numbers after each paragraph(s). Words in bold are words that were italicized in the original text. Putting them in quotations for this blog post makes them automatically italicized, thus the different emphasis on my part.

In the following excerpts, the word 'republican' refers to a government where power rests in the citizens, not a dictator or monarch. It is not to be confused with the Republican Party.

"Two crises dominated the political history of this era. The first was a crisis of the British Empire and was resolved by the American Revolution. The second was a crisis of government in the new United States and was resolved by the delegates who convened in Philadelphia during the summer of 1787 to write the Constitution. Both crises represented an effort by Americans to preserve the virtues of republican government." (p 69)

"Republicanism was critical for the bond between religion and politics in the Revolutionary era because the beliefs of American Christians paralleled republican principles in many particulars. This in turn led to the widespread assumption that republican principles expressed Christian values and that they could be defended with Christian fervor.

Together, the republican and the Puritan traditions shared many formal similarities. In the first place, each held to a view of human nature that recognized the human capacity for evil as well as for good. Puritans dwelt at length on the natural tendency toward evil that arose as a consequence of Adam's fall. Republicans dwelt at length on the natural tendency to abuse official power as a consequence of the corrupting nature of power itself." (p 70)

"A lively tradition of millennialism also helped to forge a link between political freedom and Christian liberty. Speculation of this sort encouraged the notion that the great conflict between God and Satan was somehow being played out in the struggle with Britain, and that a victory over Parliament might signal the near approach of God's rule on earth, the millennium." (p 71)

"The long-term effect of evangelical republicanism in America was to short-circuit political analysis. So deeply entwined were republican and Christian themes that there seemed to be no need for reexamining the nature of politics itself. It could simply be assumed that the American way was the Christian way. That assumption is not necessarily baseless. But as long as it functioned as an assumption, that belief was not conducive to the development of a Christian mind. For practical questions, the overwhelming evangelical commitment to this assumption created difficulties for missionary efforts in other political cultures, it made for problems in understanding the role of the United States in the world, and it led to confusion in the treatment of non-Protestants in the United States. Theoretically considered, however, the greatest damage from the assumption that linked Christian faith and republicanism was its very character as an assumption. If the Christian truth about politics was so clear, there was no need to think about politics at all." (pp71-72)

 

Tweet

I may just be a homemaker but I sure can do reports, baby!

The Kendra Report: Yesterday it was the eye doctor and several job applications. Today it's the dentist and more applos des jobbos. Kendra has enjoyed running all over the Iowa countryside with the help of her trusty driver's license and the need for summer employment.

The Pine Cone Report: We done picked up all the pine cones in the yard, yesterday! And I can tell the difference in the ol' right hamstring. Feeling a little sore, it is. Ma was terribly nice and only made the older kids work for 30 minutes, so they could get back to the schoolwork they adore. It was a gorgeously warm day, even if a bit windy. We filled approximately 5 large trash bags with the piney stuff. After that it was the simple matter of sandblasting technology to remove the sap from our hands.

The Testing Report: All things are "GO" for next week. I got a call from the principle [principal. it should be PRINCIPAL] of the middle school and she asked how I wanted to do it: put the kids in a classroom? or have them tested in her office? "You mean I can do that?" WELL, I explained the situation with a certain less-than-attentive type, and so the kids will be in the office and not spread out in separate rooms with gobs of childros they do not know :-) I is pleased.

The Debit Card Report: I've officially changed all my preferred card settings with CBD, Amazon, Ebay, Half.com, and Abe Books (for some reason Allibris won't let you put in a card). So this better work, baby! Otherwise I'll have to undergo therapy for the stress of redoing my online shopping settings. Today I'll be hitting the grocery store and Wal*Mart--using the new card for the first time--so be on the alert for news of any arrests of old lady shoppers.

The Slipper Report: ONCE AGAIN, I will check to see if "my slippers" are on sale. The ones I am wearing have cracks in the bottom with the padding falling out and then stuffed back in so that it's all lumpy and feels gross. I don't know what I will do if Wal*Mart does not put my slippers on sale! On the bright side, I can always sue them after I incur irreparable damage to my spine from walking askew. I can see good things either way, 'cause I'm such an optimistic.

The Scale Report: While I was loathe to step on the rectangle of doom, let it never be said Ma is a shirker. That is why, despite feeling as a goose set up for the ol' paté de fois gras, as it were, I nonetheless trod upon the purveyor of ruin with full knowledge that my weekend festivities would not bring about favorable results. And they didn't. But as it is only up .5 pound, I will dutifully press forward, toiling against all odds, including the recent unlooked for desire to eat all the time, which hardly seems fair, but then again, no one ever said said things wouldn't occur that give other people the chance to think themselves better than you.

The Sleep Report: It has now been two weeks since I've taken any Benadryl and I think the worst is past. Oh yes, there were a couple of nights when Ma was staring bleary-eyed at a book around 3am-ish, but those lonesome hours are history (I hope) and while I'm not as drunk with the literature, I do end up sleeping decently, most nights. I have yet to feel rested during the day, but as previously stated, I am an optimist and have no doubt that the "I've-had-a-good-sleep" feeling will occur in another year or two.

Now it's off to schoolish things with little people.

Tally ho, and have a right beamish day.
 

Tweet

Takin' Care of Business

On my way back from Ardith's on Saturday, me and the ol' Waterloo Wal*Mart self-checkout machine had a little dust up.

I was using my new debit card--new, as in replaced on the month the old one expired--which I'd already used in several stores as a credit card. Just little things, around 3 dollars at the used bookstore and $1.29 for a diet Coke at McDonald's.

No sweat.

But at Wal*Mart, I decided to utilize the debit part, because I get a thrill outta punching numbers, dontcha know.

Naturally the machine wouldn't except it. Just as naturally, two teen girls were right behind me thinking I was the usual lame older person who doesn't understand modern technology (which might be true, but they had no conclusive proof to that effect)

Said young ladies were trying to be helpful, with offers of, "Why don't you try it again?" and similar phrases of technologic savvy. I suggested they might want to go to another checkout line, since things were not working out terribly well, as now the machine wouldn't even accept my card as credit.

It was eerily similar to George Costanza and his bathroom-flagged book.

Not only was I a poor dotty woman who couldn't get through the self-checkout, but my card was unacceptable and soon, very, very soon, the roof would magically roll back and black helicopters would swoop down at 42 degree angles.

You'd be surprised how much can flash through your mind if you only allow yourself sufficient scope for the imagination.

THANKFULLY, the nice lady manning the nearby desk expressly for the purpose of assisting gray-haired potential thugs such as myself, helped.

Upon arriving at mi casa, el hubbo informed moi that yet more debit card excitement abounded.

You remember that I was sent a replacement card to coincide with the expiration date? WELL, directly after that card was sent, the bank informed everyone that "the cards had been compromised" and so they sent out new cards!

And lo they did arrive. And so within the space of one week, I have received two new cards and activated BOTH over the phone. The last experience entailing TWO SEPARATE CALLS, including punching buttons and yes, even choosing between English or EspaÑol (at this point I was not able to type the code for the lower case diacritical tilde "n", so yes, my computer hates me).

As if these excursions into the heady world of plastic finance were not enough, today...yes TODAY, I received another missive from the good folks at AARP.

True, they did not include the nifty membership card that has graced their letters of yore, but this morning's white-envelope-of-gray-power included a VERY attractive offer for a "Free CALCULATOR/CLOCK/CALENDAR...yours just for requesting a Quote."

One has to ask obvious questions at this point: are we talking quotes from Shakespeare? Milton? That charismatic fellow from MSNBC...what's his name....Cramer?

'Tis intriguing.

Methinks I must needs bon mots of advice from the esteemed public, or barring that, from people who might read this blog.

What should Ma do? Go for the quote and the clock? or no?

SPEAK! O fair knaves and simpering damsels.
 

Tweet

Most Amusing Reference by a Reporter Award

This comes from Richard Engle, of NBC. At the end of a report concerning the recent unrest in Pakistan, Richard closed with these immortal words:

"...in Pakistan, a country of 170 million people, with nuclear weapons."

Yes, he DID pause slightly after the word "people," but it still sounded as though the entire populace was individually armed with nuclear weapons.
______________

On a slightly less Armageddonish note, we are having network problems, depriving me of the chance to share my lovely picture of the oak tree. However, come the timely arrival of a new power supply, all things shall be rectified. At least, all things regarding the errant network server.

Whether the new power supply will have a positive effect on the world at large, remains to be seen.
 

Tweet

Ma Has Fun in Cedar Rapids

It was with thrilling anticipation that Ma took the Green Dragon Lady Lincoln out on the highway, yesterday afternoon.

The weather was moderate, the sun was out, her shades were on, and she was most cool-looking.

As Ma passed a beautiful oak tree along the four-lane, the thought occurred to her, "Ma? Shouldn't you turn around and go back for a picture?" And so she did.

It took 10 miles to get back on and come around to the same spot, but she did!

Eventually, the thriving metropolis of Cedar Rapids was reached, and without even one wrong turn getting to Ardith's house. Basically, a first.

A bit of conversing, followed by hitting the road again for the big dinner out with friends at The Irish Democrat. On the way, Ardith pointed out, The Most Pretentious House In Cedar Rapids.

As this noble name was given several times, Ma understood that for some reason, this house has been indelibly etched into the Ardith's mind, much like a hot poker on the side of a forlorn steer.

Is it the high prominence on the hill? Is it the fact that she passes it every day on her way to work?

Is it the statue of the rearing stallion (click on picture to see) pawing the air with it's might hooves of stony power?

We do not know, but as the horse statue was mentioned multiple times, we can only gather that there is some unfortunate circumstance regarding a horse in Ardith's past.

Ma tried to emit the proper attitude of sneerage in an attempt at empathetic scorn.

We hope no horse statues will be unduly offended.

The eats at the pub restaurant were much goodly. Excellent sandwiches and scrumptious coleslaw! Ma could not help noticing an interesting mustard bottle...
...I guess this is one of the perks of living in the city. Out in the lil' ol' sticks where Ma lives, we are more familiar with the unporeable (I mean, un-pour-able) variety.

The diet was definitely discarded for the evening, though Ma was very good and had only water as her beverage.

As the Ardith-person wished to take it easy after the meal, we retired to her abode where an episode of Wooster and Jeeves was enjoyed most thoroughly.

Rest was had.

Saturday morning, after spending time talking and sorting out many of the immediate family's personal and behavior problems, both mother and daughter proceeded to the used-bookstore-of-power, where Ma joyously spent her Christmas gift card.


Henry James, Saki, Fannie Flagg, Dorothy Sayers and some Rumpole of the Baily were acquired. As were other bits and pieces, including THREE CDs! Two operatic thingamjobbers and one of Chanticleer, a vocal acapella men's group.

There was much rejoicing of Ma with her take.

After that, the daughter took Ma out yet AGAIN for lunch! Mexican food, yum, yum.

It was at this establishment that Ma was told of a weird gene variant that caused some people to distinguish the taste of cilantro as soap. Finding herself quite suggestible, the cilantro now tasted of soap, after which Ma expressed eternal gratitude to her offspring.

From there it was back to the Green Dragon Lady Lincoln, which faithfully took Ma home, by way of the Goodwill store in Waterloo.

Upon returning to the boonies, it was discovered that everyone had survived, to which the weekend was pronounced a rousing success.
 

Tweet

Report Time

Well, more happenings have been ahappenin' and that means more reports.

The Kendra Report: Kendra found a ride home for today, though they will have to drop a couple girls off at the Chicago airport. After they get to eastern IA, Paige's parents will collect Kendra and Paige and bring them up to Parkersburg, where Loren will do the honors, since I'll be heavily involved in...

The FUN Report: Ma is drivin' down to Cedar Rapids this afternoon for a short but wonderful whin-dig with el daughtero. Friends and food from the Irish Democrat were mentioned. I can't believe I'll be among real live people, all of whom do not need supervision. Yes, we're talkin' ADULTS !

The Slipper Report: No, Wal*Mart has still not seen fit to put my slippers on sale. It's their loss. I hope this won't break their sales report for next quarter, though if it does, they have only themselves to blame.

The Long Road Back to Ma Report: The weigh-in this morning showed a slight increase, but I'm not gonna let that get me down. Refer back to 2nd point, above.

The Chocolate Report: It is with heavy heart that Ma has made the decision to eat slum-dog chocolate for a while. As in, Hershey's Special Dark. It may be dark, but it's not all that special. However, it is significantly cheaper than Dove's or Hershey's Bliss, so I'm doing my part in cutting back for the family finances, yet not completely abandoning the American economy at the same time.

That is all.

Go out and make it a choco-riffic day.
 

Tweet

Big, Big Weekend, up at the Hoytstead

Lotta stuffs goin' on, starting with today.

The Kendra-girl has spring break next week, so naturally she's coming home two days early :-p

Just worked out with the class schedule she had. So Ma will be driving in to Cedar Falls/Waterloo this evening for the big pick-up. It only makes sense to visit el grocero et el Wal*Marto. And of course, le Goodwill Superstore, oui, oui. Oh boy, books, here I come!

While I'm in the vicinity, I may as well drop in on Barnes & Noble, and the bookstore in the Mall...just in case they have some great sales, hee, hee.

But that isn't until this evening. {11:45am update}CANCELED: Kendra's ride fell through, She tries again for tomorrow night...

In the meantime, Ma has been workin' the phone lines like a crazy person.

First of all, I got the reminder of Derek's upcoming appointment with the cardiologist, along with a surprise announcement that Carolyn had one as well (we knew they wanted to see her ever year--Derek is every 6 months--but since we hadn't heard from them....). It wouldn't have mattered, EXCEPT, they had moved Derek's original appointment to a week earlier, since the doc was going to be gone. But a week earlier is the exact week Carolyn starts testing with Ethan and Nolan, so I got that all changed--the doctor appointments--to the end of April.

THEN, I remembered that Kendra had wanted me to fit her in for dental and eye doctor exams while she was home, so I scheduled THAT.

AND, as if that weren't enough, our debit cards expire this month and I got my new one in the mail this morning. It needed to be activated so that was another exciting phone call, which I handled with great aplomb.

Just in time, since I'll be shopping this evening. With my luck, neither card will work and I'll have to clean toilets at Wal*Mart to pay for my chocolate.

Ah well, such is life. Sounds like I need a vacation, doesn't it?

Well you are so right! And that's where daughter numero uno comes in :-D

Ma is traveling down to Cedar Rapids on Friday afternoon to spend a little time with Ardith et al. A little down time, a little visit to her favorite bookstore for which she gave me a gift card for Christmas (!), and a meal out (which I said she needed to provide to celebrate her being 25 and me being 50 in the same year).

I'll be heading back to the Big House on Saturday afternoon.

At least, that's what I'm telling everybody.

On the school front, Trevor has spent all week learning how to subtract with renaming.

*sigh*

My little boy...all grown up and borrowing, just like the big folks.

And next week we'll be starting that easy reader classic, Sam and the Firefly.

Ah, good times.

As for Nolan, I've been working through a study guide for the Iowa Test of Basic Skills. This week we are going through a practice test, which he has done very well on, so far. There is hope for the future! Particularly if he doesn't get tired/bored and start filling in answers at random (last year's less than helpful test methodology).

The real test comes up in two weeks, so once that is over and the scores are back (May), maybe I can relax.

A little.
 

Tweet

The Jim-Bob Report

"Good evening. I'm Jim McDonald, and tonight on Eye of the Hawk News we'll be looking in-depth at the Obama presidency, specifically, his first 50 days in office. We go to our political reporter, who is also our Iowa reporter, and in fact, he's our only reporter, Bob MacCackle. Bob? Good evening...what can you tell us?"

"Evening, Jim. The interns and I have been crunching the numbers, and I just hafta say, it's extraordinary!"

"Uh...just what do you mean by, 'crunching the numbers,' Bob?"

"Aw, give me a break, Jim. Erin Burnett and Phil LeBeau do it all the time! I've been waiting to 'crunch the numbers' like...for-ever, man. Why you comin' down on me so hard? Is it only the economic reporters that get to 'crunch the numbers,' Jim? Huh Jim? Is it? 'Cause, just tell me and I'll forget it, Jim. Even though me and the interns stayed up half the night, workin' our calculators 'til they smoked...*sniff*..."

"Alright now, Bob. Get a new calculator, did we? Is that what this is all about?"

"Well no...I mean, um...yeah, maybe. Anyway, this new one is a graphing calculator, Jim. So not only can we 'crunch the numbers,' we can graph those babies and print out pretty pictures, too! But getting back to the report, Jim..."

"Yes Bob...that would be nice..."

"So, we have now officially come through the first 50 days of the Obama presidency. And what that means is....*sound of clicking*...there are only 50 more days left in the first 100 days, Jim. Can you believe it? We're half-way through the first 100 days! "

"O-kay. And then what, Bob? What comes after the first 100 days?"

"That's just it, Jim. Nobody knows for sure. I mean...do we start counting off another 100 days? Do we start looking toward the 150th day? The 200th day? And what about the dog, Jim...I mean, are they expecting us to start over counting days from when the dog arrives? Will there be a 'first 100 days' of the dog? Or is it 50...or maybe it doesn't start until the puppy is housebroken...and that's another thing, Jim...am I gonna need another calculator for the dog?. 'Cause we're talkin' an increase in the lousy expense account, Jim...I can't keep pulling these great stories together with the expense account of a tree frog, Jim! I...I...I can't breathe, Jim...I....*gasp*...I can't....*cough*..."

"Now Bob...take it easy, Bob...you need to have Kevin-the-intern get you a drink of water...Keven? Get that man a drink of water....*whispered*...Kevin? 'Code Valium,' Keven...'Code Valium!'...*turns back toward audience*...Well ladies and gentlemen, that's all we have time for, tonight. Join us next time when we have an exclusive interview with Brian William's dog, Lucy. We'll ask penetrating, no-holds-barred questions, like, is the name 'Lucy' a subtle reference to the Beatles' album Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band? where the song Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds caused such furor? Exactly what does ol' Brian put in those doggie treats, anyway?

All this and more, in our next report. Until then, this is Jim McDonald, for Bob MacCackle and all of us here at Eye of the Hawk News, wishing everyone,

good-night."
 

Tweet

History Quiz

Here's a little test to see how old you are. D.W. sent it to Loren, since they are both older than I (don't blame the messenger :-) but when Loren told me about it I had him forward it to moi. D.W. got all 20 right. Loren got one wrong and I only got 2 wrong, although I came very close to changing both of those answers....ah well.

Naturally, even if you're not terribly old, the more you've read, the better

History Exam ...


NO Cheating - don't look at the answers until you take the test!!


History Exam ...
Everyone over 40 should have a pretty easy time at this exam. If you are under 40 you can claim a handicap.

This is a History Exam for those who don't mind seeing how much they really remember about what went on in their life.

*** Get paper & pencil & number from 1 to 20.
****Write the letter of each answer & score at the end.

Then before you pass this test on put your score in the subject line....Send to friends so everyone can HAVE FUN!!! Also send it back to me, so I know how you scored...


1. In the 1940s where were automobile headlight dimmer switches located?
a. On the floor shift knob.
b. On the floor board to the left of the clutch.
c. Next to the horn.

2. The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle had holes in it. For what was it used?
a. Capture lightning bugs.
b. To sprinkle clothes before ironing.
c. Large salt shaker.

3. Why was having milk delivered a problem i n northern winters?
a. Cows got cold and wouldn't produce milk.
b. Ice on highways forced delivery by dog sled.
c. Milkmen left deliveries outside of front doors and milk would freeze expanding and pushing up the cardboard bottle top.

4. What was the popular chewing gum named for a game of chance?
a. Blackjack
b. Gin
c. Craps

5. What method did women use to look as if they were wearing stockings when none were available due to rationing during WW II.
a. Suntan
b. Leg painting
c. Wearing slacks

6. What postwar car turned automotive design on its ear when you couldn't tell whether it was coming or going?
a. Studebaker
b. Nash Metro
c. Tucker

7. Which was a popular candy when you were a kid?
a .. Strips of dried peanut butter.
b. Chocolate licorice bars.
c. Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside.

8. How was Butch wax used?
a. To stiffen a flat-top haircut so it stood up.
b. To make floors shiny and prevent scuffing.
c. On the wheels of roller skates to prevent rust.

9. Before inline skates how did you keep your roller skates attached to your shoes?
a. With clamps tightened by a skate key.
b. Woven straps that crossed the foot.
c. Long pieces of twine.

10. As a kid what was considered the best way to reach a decision?
a. Consider all the facts.
b. Ask Mom.
c. Eeny-meeny-miney-mo.

11. What was the most dreaded disease in the 1940s and 1950s?
a. Smallpox
b. AIDS
c. Polio

12. "I'll be down to get you in a ________, Honey"
a. SUV
b. Taxi
c. Streetcar

13. What was the name of Caroline Kennedy's pony?
a. Old Blue
b. Paint
c. Macaroni

14. What was a Duck-and-Cover Drill?
a .. Part of the game of hide and seek.
b. What you did when your Mom called you in to do chores.
c. Hiding under your desk and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill.

15. What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody show?
a. Princess Summerfallwinterspring
b. Princess Sacajawea
c. Princess Moonshadow

16. What did all the really savvy students do when mimeographed tests were handed out in school?
a. Immediately sniffed the purple ink as this was believed to get you high.
b. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the window.
c. Wrote another pupil's name on the top to avoid their failure.

17. Why did your Mom shop in stores that gave Green Stamps with purchases?
a. To keep you out of mischief by licking the backs which tasted like bubble gum.
b. They could be put in special books and redeemed for various household items..
c. They were given to the kids to be used as stick-on tattoos.

18. Praise the Lord & pass the _________?
a. Meatballs
b. Dames
c. Ammunition

19. What was the name of the singing group that made the song "Cabdriver" a hit?
a. The Ink Spots
b. The Supremes
c. The Esquires

20. Who left his heart in San Francisco ?
a. Tony Bennett
b. Xavier Cugat
c. George Gershwin
-----------------------------
------------------------------


ANSWERS

1. (b) On the floor to the left of the clutch. Hand controls popular in Europe took till the late '60's to catch on.

2. (b) To sprinkle clothes before ironing. Who had a steam iron?

3. (c) Cold weather caused the milk to freeze and expand popping the bottle top.

4 . (a) Blackjack Gum.

5. (b) Special makeup was applied followed by drawing a seam down the back of the leg with eyebrow pencil..

6. (a) 1946 Studebaker.

7. (c) Wax coke bottles containing super-sweet colored water.

8 (a) Wax for your flat top (butch) haircut.

9. (a) With clamps tightened by a skate key which you wore on a shoestring around your
neck.

10. (c) Eeny-meeny-miney-mo.

11. (c) Polio. In beginning of August swimming pools were closed movies and other public gathering places were closed to try to prevent spread of the disease.

12. (b) Taxi . Better be ready by half-past eight!

13. (c) Macaroni.

14. (c) Hiding under your desk and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill.

15. (a) Princess Summerfallwinterspring. She was another puppet.

16. (a) Immediately sniffed the purple ink to get a high.

17. (b) Put in a special stamp book they could be traded for household items at the Green Stamp store.

18. (c) Ammunition and we'll all be free.

19. (a) The widely famous 50's group The Inkspots.

20. (a) Tony Bennett and he sounds just as good today.

SCORING

17- 20 correct : You are older than dirt and obviously gifted with mental abilities. Now if you could only find your glasses. Definitely someone who should share your wisdom!

12 -16 correct : Not quite dirt yet but you're getting there.

0 -11 correct : You are not old enough to share the wisdom of your experiences.
__________________________

So Ma and el hubbo are officially "Old as Dirt." But I get bonus points for learning some of these facts through the evil of books.

And concerning question #18, "Praise the Lord and pass the dames" was the original wording, but had to be changed at the last minute after the lyricist discovered his mom in the audience.
 

Tweet

Just Another Super Monday

Not.

You combine the effects of kids starting up a new school week and the lost sleep from "Spring Ahead" weekend and what do you have?

Total blahdom and misery.

It didn't help that the kids learned all about string games at church, yesterday. While not an integral part of the service, per se, Carolyn did see several of the girls doing this, picked up the basics and has proceeded to start a new mania in the family.

You know what I mean, those figures with quaint names such as "cat's whiskers," "cat's cradle," and I don't know..."cat's hairball?"

(I was never terribly proficient at those girly things)

So we have one more outlawed activity until school work is done. I even confiscated Nolan's string, which I surmised to be the reason he'd only accomplished 3 math problems in 30 minutes.

Carolyn's got Ethan, Nolan and Trevor engrossed in this new activity. Trevor's really too cute. He'll come up to me with a totally asymmetric tangle betwixt two hands and declare, "Look, Mommy...I've invented a new design! It's called, 'Big Window!' "

"Hmmm. Very nice.".....*sigh*

As if that weren't exciting enough, I find I now receive emails from LeTourneau's president.

It was merely a courtesy email to all parents, and not an offer of Associate Professorship in Sarcastic Blogging, based out of Iowa.

Still, I am fully cognizant of the honor, despite not being fully cognizant.

My fuzzy brainwaves are due to lack of sleep. I've gone and kicked the Benadryl habit, cold turkey, as of Wednesday night. Not because I have any guilty feelings about taking Benadryl to sleep, but because its effects on my metabolism--slowing thereof--might be a hindrance to weight loss and contributing to the prolongation of my sickness.

Ergo, I've had some really bad nights and some not too bad nights, returning me to that hazy, swirling nebulous I formerly inhabited during the baby years, which counting until Trevor slept through the night, only lasted 21 years (after that, everything was hunky-dory with nothing worse than the pressures of a house full of kids and a husband's failing health to keep me awake at night).

But getting back to the halcyon days of pre-spring dreariness, the current sleep deficit seems to increase cravings for food, particularly chocolate. On the up side, you can really get a lot read if you're up for 4 hours straight!

There's a good, bad and abysmal side to everything.

So that's where I'm at, today. And to think, I had originally intended to post something profound by C.S. Lewis. I'm glad I chose the low road, instead.
 

Tweet

 

 

Tweet

Brilliant Idea

I don't know why no one has thought of this earlier. It came to me as I was setting all the downstairs clocks ahead and realizing I won't be able to watch all of The Red Green Show and thinking happy thoughts about how more people have heart attacks when the time goes forward 'cause they miss sleep.

Why not take a month and move the time ahead in quarter hour increments? We simply set our clocks 15 minutes forward, four weeks in a row.

Would that be so hard?

WOULD IT KILL *"THEM"?

No, but we kill people NOW doing a whole hour in one night/day.

We can't smoke in public, drive drunk or forget to put little Johnny in an approved child car seat.

But we can alter the time/space continuum and your heart rhythm at the same time.

(well anyways...it was just a thought)

Continuing on my theme of morbidity, here's a picture I got at a small cemetery, down the road from Prairie Bridges Park.
It is two gravestones, caught in a church-like stance.

I'm not sure what it means, but it has to be profound.

I think *they would approve.

*all the people who make laws for the public's welfare
 

Tweet

Earning my stripes

Weather's been BEAUTIFUL yesterday and today. And that means: prunin' time.

I started on the apple and cherry trees yesterday, and did all the raspberry bushes today.
Smart people wear long sleeves when they do this :-p

I never seem to remember that until after I finish. But at least I never try that with ragweed anymore. These are just scratches and they'll go away in a couple of days. Hopefully not until I can get some sympathy from the folks at church, though.

After I'd completed my yearly exercise in bramble laceration, I headed back to the final apple tree, and then uttered those immortal words, "Okay guys...time to pick up branches!"


Some day, after the kids are grown, I'll start a nice program for rich, city kids. They can visit the country, enjoy the fresh air and provide a great service to us old folks.

And if they demonstrate the proper aptitude, I might let them pick up stones out of the ditch.
 

Tweet

Reportage

Time to catch up on a few loose ends.

The Sickie Report: Oh hey, feeling better, mostly--except for that lost sleep last night--and even though I've been coughing for SIX WEEKS, I'm not coughing as much so that has to be good, right?

And I hear Ardith's fever is gone so she seems to be on the mend. Thanks for praying.

The Long Road Back to Ma Report: I wasn't going to DO this today, since I woke up (if you can call it "waking up" after hardly sleeping) feeling all galumphy, but I did work up enough courage to step on the scale...lost another pound!

Woohee, that makes 8 pounds in 7 weeks :-D Ma is officially allowing herself to be happy.

The Slipper Report: this actually started back in December, I just never shared my unrequited longings for soft footwear. I've been keeping my eye on some lovely slippers at Wal*Mart. They are soft and almost like shoes. Just right for my poor decrepit toes that start to hurt when encased in shoe prisons.

As Christmas approached I would take a gander back in the shoe aisle, but no luck. Still 9 dollars. I am NOT paying 9 dollars for slippers, folks! I figured they might put them on sale before the big holiday, but NOOOOooo. Then I figured they might put them on sale later, as spring approached. Again, NO.

All they have to do is chop the price to 6 or 7 dollars and I'd probably buy 2. Is that so hard, Wal*Mart? Come on...you're one of the only retailers making a profit these days. If the price doesn't come down by next month I'll be forced to start a petition.

The Nap Report: Today I'll try to make it through without a nap. This may sound ridiculous, but I've been taking a nap (or two or three) almost every day since we got sick in January. Yesterday I didn't have a chance, and today I'm gonna try and stay awake, despite minimal sleep last night. After all, I am only 50. I oughtta be able to tough this out!

The Non-Trivial News Report: While having opinions and positions on things other than the stupid minutia of my life, I hesitate to comment, due to the chance for ridicule, censure and quite possibly that nasty "drawn and quartered" scenario.

Since I do value my reputation and my life, I often bite the bullet and refrain from such mental wanderings on the back roads of politics, "religion" and yes, what color of flowers to plant this spring.

Maybe once the kids are all gone...I don't know.

In the meantime, if there is a public execution, I wish to state my preference for one of my dark green or maroon sweaters, as they bring out the best tones of my face.

Also, no tucked-in shirts. Leaving the shirts on the outside are so much more slimming, dontcha know.
 

Tweet

Adventures With Ma

Today on Adventures With Ma we travel along with the Hoyt tribe as they take in two libraries, a Wal*Mart and a Fareway grocery store.

It is not for the faint of heart and in that same vein, we are happy to report that indeed, no one fainted.

Books for both libraries and room for weekly groceries required usage of Moby Dick, the Great White Van.

As our group proceeded merrily upon their way, the ever alert Ma spied two bald eagles, feasting on carrion in a field. They rose immediately, but our adorer of avians managed a photo, flying away. Well done, Ma!
"Come back, pretty birdies...come BACK!!"

Continuing on, a completely white cow was glimpsed in a field, but our heroine--despite ruminations--determined not to stop the van on the highway for a picture. Had it been flying, things might well have been different.

The first library was attained, and the two youngest climbed into their traditional gargoyle positions.


Keeping very nearly to their schedule, our troop left Hampton and traveled on to the even larger town of Iowa Falls. Many future wind turbine installation points were observed, our intrepid driver staying on the road at all times.

After dropping off the older children at the library, Ma took her three youngest charges to the Mart of Wal, and quickly discovered her paper PDA was missing from her purse.

Alas! No list! Could she remember the items of needfulness?

She did. Or at least, most of them.

Her precious info-holder turned up on the van floor later, and more importantly, the pen that went with it.

This boon duly noted, Ma and the three male persons returned to the library, where our avid reader chanced upon a cart full of books for sale, 10 cents each!

With her usual acute sense of smell for value de libro, our highly literate Ma picked up the following for one thin dime.

Six nurse stories were also acquired by one of the female offspring. In typical goodwill, Ma decline repayment for the 60 odd cents.

On to the grocery store, where Ma seemed destined for a new speed record in food acquirement, except for delays at the meat counter and check-out.

Ah well.

As no bald eagles were sighted on the way home, Ma was forced to turn her camera to the shadow accompanying them along the road...
...the mighty profile of Moby is ever near.

The sun heads for the horizon as our brave and resourceful group of literary aficionados return home.


Just another evening in the heartland.

And that's all,

of Adventures With Ma.
 

Tweet

The Ma Side

 

It could have been that extra egg salad sandwich at lunch...or perhaps the opiate intonations of Brian Williams...all Trevor knew was that he'd dozed off during the NBC Nightly News and sadly, missed Chuck Todd's awesome goatee-of-power.
________________

In other news, Ma is definitely feeling better. Don't feel sick as long every morning when I wake up, and have only choked on food twice in the past two days.

Things are lookin' up, people!

However, it has come to my attention that daughter Kendra was sick over the weekend, with what sounds like the achy flu. She is now better and happily reports a 99.7 on her first Cell and Molecular exam.

(that's ok, Honey...I'm sure you tried)

Less funny is that Ardith now has the flu, aussi. Unlike her younger sister who drugged herself up and went to work (what will I tell them at CHURCH?!), Ardith has a fever and has had to stay home.

Kind of weird that they got sick on the same weekend, living hundreds of miles apart. Maybe they talked on the phone, I don't know.

Pray for Ardith, won't you?

Muchos thankos.
 

Tweet

One of my all-time favorites

 
This is Wild Dog, as performed by two very wonderful musicians on the Lawrence Welk Show.

Yeah, that's right. LAWRENCE WELK.

And don't ask me to apologize, 'cause I won't.

They probably don't write stuff like this any more. So sorry to those who can't recognize this as great solely because it doesn't contain scraggly dudes with goth eye make-up and speakers blasting loud enough to disguise their inability to carry a tune in a bucket.

Sorry for you, not me.



Incidentally, I'm starting to feel a little better. But everything above still stands.
 

Tweet

I got nuthin'

By way of title, that is.

Here's a shot taken over at Prairie Bridges Park, sometime last week.


I went in hopes of fresh air to aid my health, and peace and quiet to soothe my sickie-stressed soul.

Failed on both attempts.

Still sick, and soon after I got to the park, two of the local yobs rode their bikes back and forth in front of the main pond, quaking and honking on their duck and geese calls in an obvious attempt to start avian Armageddon.

I mostly managed to keep half the park between them and me and procure a few more pics.

But all in all, it's becoming increasingly difficult to maintain my cheery self, for as everyone no doubt knows by now, when not sick or trying to lose weight or dreading the upcoming school tests, I'm the epitome of exuberant good spirits.

HOWEVER, I must get back to full strength as the middle of the week will require a trip to the libraries, as well as grocery shopping.

Also, my 9-year-old son brought me back to reality this morning when he yelled down the stairs, "MOMMY...I'm on my last pair of underwear..."

There is a limit to how long you can put off the laundry, and Nolan hitting his last pair of 'wears is it (people would appreciate this more if they knew that in the past he's made a pair last out most of a week, but I believe we now have that formerly deplorable situation in hand).

This entailed five loads of laundry, despite staying home from church to nurse my congested face. And I kept the three younger boys home with me, just because it's so much fun to still have to watch people when you're sick.

But thanks to a Bob the Builder video, I got to lay down for a while, even though I never completely warmed up despite wearing full clothing under the electric blanket turned to "5."

You know what they say: People who are continually cold are probably too skinny!

Oh yes. From my mouth to God's ears.

The Long Road Back to Ma has hit a snag this week, what with sickness and Trevor's birthday. Also, I'm going down to visit Ardith next Friday--another reason to get well!--for a prearranged dinner out in honor of our ages at the moment, 50 and 25.

It seemed kinda magical and so when I suggested that she take me out to celebrate she wisely replied, "Sure!" It will be fun, especially as we'll be checking out a used book store for which she gave me a gift card for Christmas :-)

Woohee...I always knew having a gazillion kids was gonna pay off, some day (for the rest of you guys, it's never too early to start making plans).

So for the next week or two I only hope to stay even, instead of losing weight.

But that's OK.

One can never have too many books :-D

Not to mention all that time to myself with the Green Dragon Lady Lincoln and her radio.
 

Tweet