The Ma Side

As Hedley gazed out over his loyal subjects, his duties as King of the Manure Pile weighed heavily upon his beefy shoulders. It had been a hard but well fought climb to the pinnacle of cowdom. Hedley took a moment to savor the ecstasy of his new position and then, he saw it....

Into the driveway lumbered a long semi-truck emblazoned with the chilling words, "Royalty Beef, INC.".....
 

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Ohhhh NO! Global Warming hits Mars !

Sad but true. It looks like Mars is starting to melt. Or at least, one of it's polar ice caps has issues.

You DO realize what this means, don't you? Since Mars is uninhabited, this catastrophe cannot be blamed on wanton industrialization of the planet or even neglecting to use those incredibly-ugly-curly-light-bulbs.

There may be natural forces at work. Like....um, the sun...or something.

Either that, or humanity IS responsible for the earth's warming and that begs the question:

"Where are all those pollution-causing alien life-forms hiding on the Red Planet??"

Just thought I'd ask.
 

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P.D.Q. BACH: THE VEGAS YEARS

Saturday night was a rare treat for Ma and Loren (who is not a "Pa" person). Driving the smooth riding Lincoln into the big city--or something that presents a reasonable facsimile for Iowa--we proceeded to party-like-no-tomorrow.

For us, this involves dressing in decent clothes, eating sedately in a place a notch above McDonald's, and proceeding to a concert which is of such quality that one has to procure tickets.

With money.

Here is the program:
................................
Selected Vocal Dealies
   Hedi McKinley
   Johan Sebastian Bach
   Tom, Tom

Cantata No. 11,532.9 "Tott sei dank, daß heute Freitag ist" ("Thank God It's Friday), S.5
for soprano and about a dozen instruments, depending on how you count the percussion
  1. Sinfonia Balonia
  2. Recitative: "Montag"
  3. Aria: "Gott sei dank"

Swing Sweet, Low Chariot

If Love is Real

Songs from Shakespseare
  1. Macbeth's Soliloquy
  2. Hamlet's Soliloquy
  3. Three Witches from "Macbeth"
  4. Juliet's Soliloquy
  5. Funeral oration from "Julius Caesar"

---------INTERMISSION-----------

from THE ART OF THE GROUND ROUND, S. 1.19/lb.
  Please, Kind Sir
  Jane, My Jane
  Nellie is a Nice Girl

from OEDIPUS TEX, S. 150
  Recitative: "Well" (narrator)
  Aria: "Howdy there" (Oedipus Tex)
  Recitative" "And it wasn't long" (narrator)
  Duet: "My Heart" (Oedipus Tex and Billie Jo Casta)
  Recitative: "But" (narrator, Billie Jo and Oedipus Tex)
  Chorale and Finale: "The"
.........................................

:-D :-D

The song, "If Love Is Real," was rather amusing and Ardith and I especially enjoyed the "Songs From Shakespeare," which were set to 50's style music.

Parts of "OEDIPUS TEX" were also very funny.

There were some slow places and a few corny jokes and puns, but overall a delightful evening, speaking for myself. I had tears running down my cheeks from laughing so hard, if that tells you anything.

Of course, when you live in an isolated part of the country, any type of experience that gets you out of the ordinary will have a cathartic effect.

Loren's degree of "fun" was diminished by leg cramps. The seating in our area was a bit claustrophobic. (next time--if there is a next time--I'll try for the side of the gallery with the freestanding chairs)

Then Ma had to put a damper on things and not let Loren place his program on the ledge in front of us (we were sitting in the front row of the 2nd gallery). I guess it was my irrational fear of it falling and maiming someone on the level below us.

(I could really get into this "fussy old lady" business. It's starting to come quite natural to me)

But despite those glitches of gaiety, we enjoyed celebrating Ardith's birthday with her....which reminds me,

Ardith is now 24 !
 

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Tree awaiting harvest

(taken over two years ago)
 

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It's a wrap

Eleven days down, none to go :-)

Scale Report: down 1 more pound, making a net loss of 8 pounds :-D

YES!!

Ma is happy and everyone in the household breathes a huge sigh of relief.

This morning I cooked up a smaller-than-usual portion of power oatmeal...and couldn't finish it. So I tossed it, determining to try and hold to the "only eat until comfortable, not overly full" admonition.

Then I had my very first Dove's Dark Chocolate in 11 days and I was surprised at how sweet it tasted. It didn't even taste dark, just vaguely brunette.

I may have to invest in bitter chocolate. After that it'll be a short hop, skip and leap into French bread, small bits of pungent cheese and fermented grape juice.

I'm starting to feel positively cosmopolitan.

Tonight will be good practice since Loren and I are meeting Ardith in Cedar Falls for dinner and a concert.

Ah, the good life.

But first I have to go and grub out blackberry bushes.
 

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Good Day

It's been.

Though exhausting.

*slurps more Gatorade after frantically mowing for 1.5 hours*

First there was that explosion of goldfinches this morning :-) The kids have since seen four or more at the feeder...which reminds me, I bought a few "birding" supplies :-D
Let's see...new finch feeder (check), special finch food (check), hummingbird starter kid (harmless impulse buy (check), and regular bird seed (check).

Looks like I'm all set!

"So Ma," you say, "Were those the most exciting buys you made?"

Well since you ask, NO!

At Wal-mart I picked up a little shawl number that was on clearance, 45% off. It goes just spiffy with the clearance fancy dress tank (three dollah) and the long black skirt that I snatched at Goodwill for a whole $.99.

All bought on different days and of different brand names for 11 buckeroos.

Now Ma is all set for a dress ball, meeting royalty or that awards banquet when I win a Pulitzer.

Sometimes it's just nice to get critical purchases out of the way ahead of time.

Also squeezed into the day was Nolan's school, 1.5 hours of cleaning at the church and a few other assorted random items.

But you wanna know the best part of this day? It's almost over! Meaning the 11 day Idiot-proof diet is nearly history...and....and, tomorrow I can have chocolate !!

Excuse me while I go set my alarm for 12:01.....
 

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Morning Gold

I thought someone had been hurt when I heard Ethan practically yelling from the living room...
...but WOW, it was worth it :-)

A beauteous male goldfinch was checking out the avian feeding station.


This shot's a little blurry, but interesting because he was flicking off a seed hull.


I'd gone back to my computer and was happily downloading pictures when the cry came to my ears, "There's two of them!"



And then there were three!
Zowie! It's a veritable goldfinch bonanza :-D

Who could look at this gorgeous example of God's creation and not feel happy?

 

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Ma's Newsy Nuggets

And you thought kryptonite was a thing of fiction...
___________

Is there no end to odd justice?
___________

...skewed propriety?
___________

...unlimited gullibility?
___________

Never mind. Come back to the real world with Ma, where we find in today's
Scale Report: down 1 more pound, making the net loss 7 pounds!

Hooray for Ma!

9 days down, 2 to go :-)
 

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Birthday Fellowship

Every month our church has a birthday fellowship after one of the Wednesday night prayer meetings.

This is to honor birthdays and anniversaries within the fellowship and on that night every family brings cookies, cakes or other treatable goodies.

Anyone who would dare to notice that more warm bodies seem to show up on this night is simply cold, calculated, jaded and cynical. (I could have come up with more predicate adjectives were I not such a warm, optimistic and trusting individual)

But before the foodish festivities began, I took a picture of Nolan and Trevor with the 10 point buck they brought down last deer season.
Oh wait....my mistake. This mighty stag was actually apprehended by a man in our church, Steve Bell, on his first hunting party. I could have that last fact wrong, but I try not to let pesky details get in the way of out-and-out jealousy.

These next three shots fall into "The Cone Series."

Trevor demonstrates five-year-old multi-tasking skills by eating an ice cone and doing the Spock-eyebrow thing.


Here we witness unbridled ice cream exuberance as well as imagine Trevor with facial hair.


After a decorous older sister hands him a napkin, Trevor delicately dabs away the signs of snack imprudence.


What a bunny :-)
 

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Iowa State Bird

Look...the goldfinch is getting back *his yellow feathers :-)



Yellow is Carolyn's favorite color and speaking of which, we finally got a decent recording last night of her latest strange heart rhythm. Took a lot of doing (as in 5 or 6 tries and new batteries) but we finally caught it. Kendra came over and got me just after we turned off the light. Carolyn stayed in bed since walking around sometimes changes the rhythm.

The regular doctor and nurse are out on clinics today so we won't find anything out until tomorrow.

In the meantime we'll watch for birds on the feeder which has managed to stay up in all this wind rain.

*it has come to my attention that this may indeed be a "she," and not a "he."
 

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8 days down, 3 to go

Scale Report: down another 1.5 pounds, or a net loss of 6 pounds, as in...

Hot Doggies!

This actually erases the 6 pounds I'd gained after losing 20, so I am most happy. Plus, I still remember my basic math facts.

With just three days left, any additional losing is gravy, metaphorically speaking. If the end of the week shows no additional weight-loss I will still have won.

*pulls crumpled sheet of paper our of ear*

"I'd like to thank Jorge Luis, my hair stylist, those fab make-up girls and the incredible support I've received from people all over the world--without which this amazing experience wouldn't have been possible...but I'd especially like to thank the nice lady at Wal-Mart who mixed paint for me.

In conclusion, I urge everyone to eat Dark Chocolate and how's about we we declare next Monday "Hydroxy Derivative Day" and chow down on flavonols for the heart?

Thank you. You're all beautiful people...really..."

And this brings us to that trendy new concept of Carbon Offset, also called Renewable Energy Certificates or Green Tags. I just heard about this for the first time on the news the other night.

You can buy these pieces of paper (which...uh, come from trees) and the money goes to production of a windmill farm, planting trees or whatever. This is supposed to "offset" the polluting carbon you as an awful human being are creating.

This is the reason Al Gore can live in a 20 room house and sleep at night. He purchases the offsetting amount of certificates that counteract the carbon his home/lifestyle emits.

Otherwise, they'd be living in a small cabin with Tipper chopping firewood for their Ben Franklin stove.

ANYWAY, if these guys can do it, why not me? Only not in regards to fossil fuels, but...(you know what's comin'....)

CALORIES!

What us lardos need are Caloric Offset Credits. We can eat our goodies, buy some offsets and suffer no guilt!

Is this a great concept or what? I swear I thought of this myself, even though I don't listen to Rush Limbaugh and I found a couple references to this on the web. (but only after I thought of it, which brings up the concept of "Thought Offsets"...)

I haven't worked out all the details yet, but it would probably go something like this:

Pig out and then buy certificates. The money would then be applied toward liposuction surgery while we sleep.

If we all pull together I think this could work...
 

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Two nuggets and rain

If I can find three or more newsworthy nuggets, I'll put up a "Ma's Newsy Nuggets" post. This morning I only scraped up two...

Iowa holds their yearly Drake Relays, which includes the "Beautiful Bulldog" contest. Check here for this year's winner.

Folks, the accolades for Iowa just keep comin'. Not only can we boast in being the home state of Zack Johnson, recent winner of the Master's Golf Tournament, but Iowa hosts the famous Drake Relays, a prestigious track and field event that only pales in comparison to the Penn Relays and the Olympics.

Oh baby. And by the way, ol' Zach graduated from Drake University. Just another little link in the Iowa time/space continuum.

Corn, soybeans, hogs and sports.

I think it's safe to say Iowa is the stealth state of diversity.
_________________

Something also close to home...my very good buddy, Mark Schnackenberg, (who's weather colleague I once introduced myself to in the Waterloo Arby's--so yeah, we're tight) has a weather blog. He posted a humorous "letter to the editor" that you might find amusing. (click on the letter to enlarge for reading)

"The Schnack" (as he's known to close friends) and I are just like "this"...*picture two telephone poles on opposite sides of the country*...and amazingly, his name only has 3 vowels but has 9 consonants.

KWWL is my favorite weather crew.
_________________

Speaking of weather, it started raining before I'd anticipated, leaving Ma no choice but to go out and transplant my gooseberry bushes in the drizzle.

Poor Ma :-(

So bedraggled, wet, muddy and looking like a drowned rat (which is the very best kind of rat).

But at least the bushes are moved. Or rather, several of the side offshoots. The original planting of one is so heavily entrenched I might have to resort to dynamite.

Say, can you pick that up at the hardware store?

I also raised the humongous bird feeder from its humiliating prone position and stood it up, trying to find just the right placement where it rocks the least.

I'm giving it ONE MORE CHANCE before I sink the base in the ground and stack the large brick platforms on top.

*sigh*

There is just no end to "workin' the land."
 

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The goods and bads

Had my annual check-up this morning. Went in fasting so I could have my cholesterol checked, but she said it was so super from last year, I didn't need the labs.

So it's good about the cholesterol, but too bad that I had to be so hungry for nothing! This was accentuated by the fact that yesterday was the middle and leanest day of the diet: 3 meals, two of mixed vegetables and one of mixed fruit.

And that reminds me...

Scale Report: down 1.5 more pounds. That makes a net (good) loss of 4.5 pounds :-D plus, I'm just past the halfway point and see some light at the end of the tunnel. More than 6 days done, less than 5 to go.
________________

Derek rode along to get his pro-time. When we got back to the little room with the new lab orders (to be sure and tell us the results, which is good), the resident (or whatever) had written down an extra test that Derek never gets, which would require a blood draw instead of a finger prick. (bad)

After a phone call to Iowa City, someone OK'd the cancellation of the extra unnecessary test and we were back to finger-pricking. (good)
________________

Carolyn's been having some heart wackiness (bad) and when I sent two event recordings over the phone, there was enough artifact to obscure the readout and we don't have a clear indication of whether she was in a-fib or not. Bad.

They will send us a different event recorder through the mail. (good)
________________

After the doctoring stuff I dragged Derek with me over to Beads Lake State Park which is just 3 miles west of Hampton.


He got to work on schoolwork in the zippy red car, blissfully surrounded by trees and a lake, while I took 30 or 40 minutes to explore. From my standpoint, things were looking pret-ty good.

I was really, REALLY hoping to spy something new.

Saw more than one woodpecker...this is probably the red-bellied variety.


There was a little trail along the lake/marsh and before long I heard a roaring noise...

Wow! Iowa gots waterfalls !

There seemed to be a feeder stream and several surrounding poolish places...and suddenly through the scrub something big and white caught my eye...carefully I crept along, trying to get to a point where I could take a picture...

And thar she blows !

The Great Egret ardea alba

Formerly known as "American Egret," "Common Egret," "Large Egret," "White Egret," "Great White Egret," and "Great White Heron," this bird's official name in North America is now "Great Egret."

Alba is Latin for "white." Ardea is a genus of herons.

Even though it flew away when I got closer, this just made my day :-)

And that's good.
 

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Last night

 

 

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Cool Cirrusness

Forgot to post this picture from a couple of weeks ago. Gotta love the contrasting cloud patterns--probably from differing wind speeds at various altitudes.
 

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A few thangs

Scale Report: (yes I know I said there wouldn't be another until Monday, but I felt there might be some weight-loss momentum going on and that traction would ensue and possibly even set the stage for a new paradigm of Ma-someness)

ANYWAY, the scale showed I lost 2.5 pounds :-) That makes a net loss of 3 pounds.

I've decided to keep the scale, temporarily at least. But I probably will not post another scale report until Monday.

Unless we have good news.

Mental Acuity Report: yesterday I tried to got out the "in" door at HyVee grocery store.

Personally, I think this is their fault for putting the doors so stinkin' close together. But since I've never done this before--or choose not to remember--I decided it could qualify.

On a totally unrelated note, only seven more days until I can have chocolate again.
________________

Now it is time to brag about the college son a bit. In talking with him on IM last night (I know...I couldn't believe it either) I discovered Jason scored 100% on his last Comp II paper!

Well done and Kudos et al, O Collegiate One!

I asked if he had used the same topic as for his latest speech, but no. Issokay. There should still be plenty of time to utilize "Emperorizing" techniques next year.

The only question remaining: how much is Jason willing to pay me for not disclosing to his father the times he has signed off the computer each night...er, morning?

*smiles and flutters eyelashes*

Not that I'm keeping track, or anything.
 

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3 days down, 8 to go

Scale Report: no change. Thus the next weigh-in will not be until Monday morning.

Exercise Report: the usual weight-bearing junk before breakfast and then working at the church for 1.5 hours this afternoon.

In-between I made a slight change of the Friday routine....I went shopping. And that pretty much entailed an exercise in self-control.

Had to take along my second meal of the day (fruit salad) and eat it "en car" in the Goodwill Store parking lot. The really nice thing was that right beside me was a beautiful black PT Cruiser.

With shiny chrome hubcaps.

*adds "black" to the list of acceptable colors for dream PT Cruiser*

Oh yes...at the check-out I was offered the chance to take home a free 12-pack of of Diet Pepsi Jazz Carmel Cream. At first I declined, due to my unswerving loyalty to the Coke taste. I mean, I already had a 12-pack of Diet Cherry Coke out in the car from another store and if I put the Pepsi in there...something nasty could occur.

The lure of free diet beverage is hard to pass up though, so I decided to take one and asked the guy who was bagging in the next checkout,

"Now, why are we getting rid of these?"

"Because we can't sell 'em. Nobody wants the stuff."

:-D

Ohhh-kay.

Well, time for Ma to put this product to the taste test...

*pop*

*slurp*

"EEEUUUUUWWW!"

My first impression was that someone had mixed post-dated cough syrup with a mediocre cola product.

However, I am now halfway through the can and am able to give a more detail description...

"EEEUUUUWWWW!"

Actually, it is very weird. You forget what it tasted like after a few seconds and so you think, "Was it really that awful? Let me take another sip..."

(Yep. Still tastes like ten-year-old cream soda with a terminal illness)

It's probably one of those things that is so bad it grows on you. Like...well...oh never mind.

I've been thinking about that TV commercial...you know, the one with the foxy young babe swinging down the sidewalk in high heels that none of us sensible women can even THINK about wearing...she's looking spiff and oh---so---happy. (that in itself is enough to nix the product) All the people around her are having a bad day but SHE is smiling and totally in control of her "I've-never-had-one-problem-losing-weight" self...

Well, I have a theory about her.

She was walking so perkily 'cause she was desperately looking for a place to spit out "le Jazz."

That's my theory, anyway.
 

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The early crops are in!

Carolyn plantin' taters. She had to dig up half of a looonnnng grassy bed.
In the back Melinda can be glimpsed working on invasive crabgrass.

Ethan planting peas which he'd soaked overnight.


Before covering the seeds, he carefully inserts sticks for the peas to vine around. He could do this later, but Melinda suggested he do it now to prevent root damage.
These special rods come from the stalks of giant ragweed I pulled up last summer.

The crabgrass conquered, Melinda now sets about the work of planting her kohlrabi.


There. It's all done :-) Including Derek's spinach and lettuce which he planted yesterday, performing the herculean task of spading, raking and seeding all in one day.

Plus a math test.

Gardens are tricky since they overlap with the end of school, but I refuse to take the advice of a certain person and give up on them.

At least for now.
 

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Ma's (Iowa) Newsy Nuggets

I know I'm tardy with this, but you've certainly heard by now that the latest winner of the Master's Golf Tournament is none other than Iowa native, Zach Johnson.

Have to confess he wasn't high on my radar but now that he's won I see nothing wrong with touting Zach as another example of Iowa excellence :-D
____________

Des Moines too, has claim to fame after Men's Health Magazine deemed it the safest city to drive in.

I might beg to differ in that our own personal family experience has shown that Ackley might be safer. Here the police are so diligent that you can easily get a ticket for a broken tail light or parking too close to a stop sign by the high school when all you were trying to do was run into the office and see where your poor kids needed to report for testing...but that was years ago and I'm over that now. Really.
____________

Another hair snafu, courtesy of Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards. First there was President Clinton's expensive haircut, and now Edwards'.

Don't these guys know that the Republicans are the party of the rich and elite? It might be-HOOVE the GOP to keep a watchful eye on matters of political minutia. Looks as if the Democrats are trying to co-opt the Republicans' hard and fast follicle policies.

(GOP, you've been warned)
____________

The diet update...(hey, this technically falls under the category of Iowa News)

Scale Report: lost 1 pound. This makes a net loss of .5 pounds. At least we're moving in the right direction :-)

Cheat Report: I did snatch a few crumbs of the kids' brownies last night, about 3 marbles worth. And this morning I had another 1 inch square piece. This reminds us that it is nigh unto impossible to lose weight with "several" children in the house, (after all, when up at Mayo for 3 months I lost weight effortlessly) but I will endeavor not to fall off the wagon except in the most minuscule of ways.

Exercise Report: Besides the usual weight-bearing regimen before breakfast, I raked in the yard four different times yesterday, completing the winter storm clean-up. And I have the sore muscles and "Leaf-Rake Elbow" to prove it.

2 days down, 9 to go.
 

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Life at Prairie Bridges

Right from the start I saw a lot of turtles.


Now do you believe me?
This looks to be a hike practice session of the turtle football squad's quarterback and center.

Heard a noise, turned around and saw this chipmunk practically begging me to take his picture.


Two Coots. They were very skittish, hardly letting me get a clear view.
When entering the park I saw two other Coots and as I got closer they promptly ducked under the water. I kept waiting and waiting for them to come up. They never did though I turned round and round to cover all angles. They must have an amazing capacity to hold their breath, though we cannot rule out alien abduction.

If I had to pick a theme for this visit, it would have to be "Goose Brooders."
(hope her babies don't mind jumping off the high dive for their first swim)

You can never have too much nesting material.
Like I said...

...they were everywhere. Though not always noticeable at first.
This one's spot looked a little iffy. If the water rises any more she'll be in trouble...

...as we see the same area from a different angle, taken last fall.
Even with allowing for killed-off weeds and all, the water level in this location is at least a foot and a half higher in the previous picture. One of my favorite trails was still completely under water.

Another couple of weeks might bring cute fuzzy gosling pictures :-)
 

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Big News

As you've probably heard, the Supreme Court upheld the nationwide ban on partial birth abortion.

With due respect to those who disagree, it's quite unfathomable how anyone could support the need for such a horrible procedure.
 

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1 day down...

...10 to go. (of the 11-day Idiot Proof Diet)

Scale Report: gained .5 pound.

Ha, ha. Here we go again. Actually, that's probably just the sins of last weekend showing up. Also, I should really eat my fourth meal of the day before 8:45 p.m.

We got involved with some yard work yesterday and I fell behind on a couple of mealtimes. And these are none too prompt on my good days.

And those are few and far between.

SO far between that I can't even remember a good standard to live UP to.

I guess that makes me eclectic, creative and adroit :-)

That's how I choose to think of it, anyway.
______________

As earlier referenced, the kids be hard at work in the garden, digging up their various plots and preparing the soil for seeds and tubers that should have been planted by Good Friday.

April snow, funerals and other unmanageable matters of life demand that we "go with the flow."

Carolyn gets the prize for working the hardest under difficult conditions. She chose a bed that had been left fallow last summer, so there are extra tufts of grass and weeds to dig out. Also, her grim determination on the first day left her out in the sun so long that she acquired a definite sunburn, with the tops of her ears blistering. (that was the day I was gone to Iowa City, though I might not have remembered either...we always seem to forget the sunscreen on the first days of spring)

But with the onset of warm sunny weather, the kids are shoveling and spading like there's no tomorrow and making good progress. Once we get our "early" crops in the ground, the rest can wait until after we return form Sharon's graduation. Our frost-free date isn't until the middle of May.

I should have my latest pictures of Prairie Bridges Park up later today. I stopped by yesterday afternoon on the end of an errand run. Increasingly I am grabbing little sanity breaks and squeezing them in wherever I can.

Some day though, I still hope to get away all by my lil' ol' self...
 

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The annual stone throwing project

Where we make vain and useless attempts to clear some of the gravel out of our ditch grass that has accumulated over winter.




Nolan, dreaming of what it must be like not to have to work so hard.

Trevor, either perfecting a fancy over-the-back stone toss, or trying to fix an ornery clip on his Bob the Builder overalls.

Ethan, examining each pebble for something potentially valuable, like a Trilobite fossil.

Derek, wondering if this work might provide an interesting pattern on the last hour of his Holter Monitor.

(way in the back) Carolyn, demonstrating her usual superb grace and excellent arm extension.

(far right) Melinda, working on green knee experiments and wondering how much this will set her behind in school for the day.

(the very back) Kendra, savoring the knowledge that this will be her last spring of stone pitching. Next year she'll miss out by being away at college and frankly, this is one of the main reasons our kids choose higher education.
 

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It's Crunch Time

Well, time for Ma to do the ol' Idiot Proof Diet again. I figure there is just enough time to work in the 11 days before Loren and I take Ardith out for her birthday concert/dinner. (did I forget to mention the pre-concert dinner, Loren?)

I want to shed a few pounds before Sharon's graduation.

You know, the "diet" I started back on Labor Day was working pretty well. It was going slow but relatively steady. I even made it through all the Christmas holidays and a nephew's wedding and everything.

Like I said, it was going well until it didn't. I don't mind cutting back if a system works. But when things suddenly stop, and you increase your exercise intensity, and you cut out your favorite low-carb ice cream bars and STILL nothing happens, then you do a rethink.

Oh yes, I got the usual advice about switching things around and doing something different (believe it or not, I'm actually aware of that :-) and I did.

So then, how long do you wait until something starts to work. A week? Two weeks? Then you try something different and tweak the routine again and wait. A week. Another week. Nothing.

Well now, does this mean there is something fundamentally wrong? And after all that trouble, how could Ma be so stupid as to get within 7 pounds of her goal and then start going the other way?

I'm sure the answer is out there. Somewhere.

Mostly from people who've never struggled with their weight.

But no matter! I'm motivated to get through this next eleven days with no Dove's Dark Chocolate. Four moderate meals per day spaced at least three hours apart. No snacks. No stuffing oneself. Not even any Pringle's Spicy Guacamole chips.

It all seems pretty trivial compared to what else is going on in the world.
 

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The Derek Report

Despite the madness that occurs in our world, most of us have to continue on with the things God has given us to do each day.

This Monday was a return appointment for Derek with the good Dr. L. down at University of Iowa Hospitals. I decided to accompany Loren and son and here is the report:

Derek is in a junctional rhythm. It is not a sinus rhythm, but preferable to a-fib. We had thought Derek was converted into a sinus rhythm at his cardioversion but the doctor informed us that it went from a-fib to junctional, and he is happy with that. There are occasional sinus beats but the main rhythm is junctional, meaning the SA and AV nodes compete with each other to start each heart beat. (normally the SA gives the electrical signal to begin each beat)

The Coumadin will be continued for 3 to 6 months after the cardioversion took place (March). It might have been less if Derek were in a nice sinus rhythm. For some reason I thought the anticoagulant was only needed for 6 weeks afterward but obviously I was wrong so now I am not hedging any bets for after 6 months, either.

Pacemaker implantation was also mentioned as a more definite possibility, to counteract Derek's bradycardia. (you know, sometimes I think the info is released in increments, to prevent parental freak-out)

Derek was sent home with a Holter monitor, which he just loves to wear. I told him, "Hey, look at it this way...you won't have to take a shower in the morning :-) His reply, "All things considered, I'd rather take the shower."

(that's my nice, clean boy)

Next check back is in July.

Oh yes, in slightly related news, Loren recently received word back on the genetic testing done on his blood. The results were negative. (for NKX2.5, in case you want to know what he doesn't have)

There is another doctor at the university who is willing to do a free linkage analysis study. That would entail getting some DNA samples from various relatives on Loren's side and then compare to see if there are common genes that look suspicious and shifty-eyed.

"You aren't having any family reunion soon, are you?"

*grin*

"As a matter of fact we are, in June."

Some people bring special food along to their reunions. Looks like we'll be bringing along cups to spit in.

Well anyways...

Driving home my eyes were drawn to the sky where a flock of large birds could be clearly seen, the sun glinting off their white wings. Of course I whipped out my handy camera from my over-sized Liz Claiborne purse I'd bought at Goodwill. (lest you think I go around buying designer purses from real stores)

I figured I had a shot at the birds out of the window, but it wouldn't budge!

"Loren? Do you have these windows locked?"

"Yeessss."

"Well, could you unlock them, please?"

*sigh*

Now, I realize this is not the greatest picture, but I took it out of a moving vehicle, with the camera on "moving object" mode, and I just had to guess at where the birds were in the sky, point and click...

They are pelicans :-)

American White Pelicans.

I snapped them in migration, for they do not reside in Iowa. In the winter they live down in the southernmost parts of the U.S. And when spring hits, they fly up north of us.

Is this not cool? Ma caught them flying over Iowa, land of corn, hog lots and people with obscure genetic heart arrhythmias.

Iowa: it's not just for chickens, anymore.
 

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And in the morning....

...the sun comes UP in the east :-)



Posted in total humility for the benefit of my relatives who cannot see the sun set.

Or rise.
 

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And.....

....as recent history gives evidence that posts describing danger to one's life can generate a veritable host--comparatively speaking--of comments, the authoress of this blog is somewhat encouraged to attempt more feats of daring-do in the future, so as to continue the comment anti-inertia and its ensuing traction.
 

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Of Friday night

Just another sunset in the heartland

C'mon...admit it. You wish you lived here :-)
 

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RE:

• Friday the 13th post...forgot the "i" and no one noticed :-) Oh wait, that could be a bad thing :-(
  
• This morning's sermon...Pastor John preached on Jude, during the course of which he mentioned that people who complain really burn him up, or words to that effect :-D (my family knows I never complain...)
  
• The Wal-Mart survey I just tried to take that enters me for a $1000 Wal-Mart shopping card...don't try to "page back" to edit or you will become stuck in limbo, which is rather annoying if you've made it halfway through, not that I'm complaining. I'll try again later.
  
• Kate Middleton...count yourself blessed, my dear. I mean, that was a CLOSE one! Take Ma's advice and marry a nice normal person.
  
• Upcoming physical exam...looks like I'll have to re-schedule a-gain, for the fourth time! Maybe this is God's way of saying I should just wait until next year.
  

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Another goodsome day

For reasons to be spelled out later, I took myself and Melinda off to shopping. Now, I don't like to brag, but really...IT WAS ANOTHER SUPERB BARGAIN DAY FOR MA :-)

Upon reaching the Goodwill store our eyes read a sign proclaiming, "All green tags $.99."

Well, you might as well throw down your wallets right now and beg Ma for mercy, 'cause ain't NO-body gonna beat these little beauties...

Absolutely NEW items.
On the left, a simple--yet tasteful--turtle neck of prima cotton. Original price? 30 buckaroos. Ma's shell-out? 99 cents ! Moving to the right we see a lovely, chocolate brown oh-so-soft blouse made of 100% silk! Yes, the stuff of worms and Ma is not kidding! Suggested retail price? $40.00. (as in FORTY DOLLAHS) Ma's payoff? Another cool NINETY NINE CENTS!!!

Now let me see....that's 70 dollars of NEW merchandise, for a mere two bucks.

OOOHHHH yeah.

If I were ambitious, I'd sell this stuff on Ebay. But frankly, I find gloating over cyberspace a whole lot more fulfilling.

And speaking of dreams attained, cruising north on the gravel road Melinda glimpsed and called my attention to this heron. We stopped, backed up and for once it didn't fly away :-)

Behold, the Great Blue Heron.


Sure, it took all the zoom in sight, but at least it stood still this time.

I is happy.
 

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And best of all....

...no one got hurt :-D

Picture Ma on an aluminum ladder with her trusty bow saw.

It was time to get the rest of those broken limbs outta da trees.

The worst job would be the Sunburst Locust where one half of a large forked section had decided to go south. Funny how ice on lots of little branches and twigs can take out something that is 10 inches in diameter. And that nice ripping-down-the-trunk effect makes it seem even bigger.

So now we have Ma upon the ladder, trying to saw through shredded splitty stuff. As this was not going so well, I made the difficult decision to cut it off a foot from the tree, which meant I would have to cut through it again to bring it up flush.

HOWEVER, the large branch--comprising nearly a fourth of the tree--stubbornly refused to hit the ground, leaving Ma no choice but to scoot out on a limb and continue the surgery.

Deftly straddling the branch with her stumpy yet cherubic legs (weight-gain has its advantages--a bony person couldn't have stood it) the brave but stupid 48-year-old carefully scrutinized the situation....hmmm, the balky branch is above and to the right of said old lady...so...theoretically...when freed...it should fall straight down missing her completely.

Probably.

*sounds of sawing*

*sounds of panting*

*more sawing sounds*

CRACK!

"UUNNNHHH"

"CLANK"

"Mommy! Are you alright?!"

"Oh yeah...(at least, I don't THINK my arm is broken...kinda hard to tell when it's numb...)"

At this point we have a shaken Ma, arms and legs wrapped around the branch, the saw having plunged to the ground after the psycho limb nailed her in the right shoulder. She is imagining what it would have felt like to land on the ground and just how many ribs would have been broken...or if she'd still be conscious.

"Ethan, can you bring me up that bow saw, please?"

(no tree is gonna get the best of THIS little girl...heh, heh...nice to know I've still got quick survival reflexes)

Enter the next tree, a pine, with two broken branches hanging precariously about...oh....25 feet up.

*gulp*

Ma carefully positions the ladder at a secure 80 degree angle while she silently congratulates the original owners for meticulously sawing off all the lower branches.

Apprising the situation it would appear climbing 8 feet up into the tree (above the ladder) will be necessary. OOOooo, Ma had not counted on this...

Lucky she's using a BOW saw, so she can heft it over a shoulder while she climbs onto sturdy branches. This entails hoisting a leg up and pulling and performing all manner of gymnastics not meant for out-of-shape Ma's.

NO MATTER! Duty calls. And there is NO WAY she will retreat at this point.

*more apprising*

Well phooey! There are three bad branches, not two.

*sigh* (this just keeps getting better)

Feeling rather vulnerable, Ma grabs onto a slightly dead stub for balance with one hand and starts sawing medium sized branches with the other. Again, the amputees refuse to fall to the grass.

*more sawing*

One obstinate branch remains resting on two other good ones. Clearly something must be done.

"Carolyn, can you find me a rope?"

It is at this point that Ma realizes she has been resting all her weight--as well as the ladder--on a dead branch. ("Was that a cracking sound I just heard?") She begins making contingency plans for which way she will fling herself should something untoward happen...

*daughter cheerfully finds long rope and ascends the aluminum ladder*

Harking back to her youth, Ma remembers the age-old wisdom handed down to her as a child, the slip-knot maneuver, and deftly twists the rope around in her tired, aching hands.

A few tries and the branch end is lassoed, the knot tightened and the opposite end threaded down through another part of the recalcitrant tree part.

Time to descend! ("was that another cracking sound?")

Ma reaches the safety of terra firma where there is a brief but poignant ceremony involving a moment of silence followed by uncontrolled sobbing and hugging the earth.

The last branch is uneventfully pulled down in an anti-climatic end to the afternoon.

For this I missed the evening news...
 

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Trevor Does the Pickles game

 
"Ohh.....yes ! I DID it!"

(sung to the "Na, na, na na, na..." tune)

"This---is so eas-y,
This---is so eas-y..."

"Hey No-wan...cuh-mee-woh...and see me do diss levoh..."



"Now, watch me kehw-fu-wee..."

Diss....and now wike diss...."

"SEE?"
 

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Frday the 13th?

WHO CARES!

Ma is feelin' great, so "Good Morn-in'" "Zippity doo dah," and "Git along lil' doagies!"

Why Ma is happy:

1) I actually had the courage to step on the scale today. I knew I'd gained a little weight, what with being sick, foregoing exercise and sitting for 13 plus hours in a car--TWICE--earlier this week. NO MATTER. I estimated how much I might weigh, added five pounds and stepped onto the instrument of doom...it was less than the topmost number...so I WIN!

2) While exercising this morning came the realization that I actually feel "well." I am no longer "sick." Ah has bin "hay-yulled!"

3) My favorite classical station is back on the radio. The first terrific ice storm of February brought down their antenna. They put a temporary one up on a building, but that only carried to the surrounding city. But today it is coming through loud and clear on my computer speakers and that makes me very happy :-)

4) "The Great Celery Mystery" has been solved. The day we left on our trip to Tennessee, I was frantically rinsing carrots and cutting up celery to stick in the cooler. It dawned on me as we traveled back that there was indeed NO CELERY in the cooler so handily stashed in the car's trunk.

A deep chill ran up and down my vertebral column. Was there a celery-napper on the loose? Did I just imagine going to all the trouble of washing, trimming and de-stringing those pale green stalks of no-taste?

Or worse...had they been teleported to the mother ship where they would no doubt report on my unsolicited paring knife ministrations?

Suddenly it came to me--while thinking about something completely different, which is when I get my best ideas--the celery....had been left....in....

ARDITH's REFRIGERATOR!!

*climatic musical punctuation involving all of the brass and much of the percussion section*

You see, when we stopped at Ardith's house overnight, I stashed the blue freezer-thingies in her...uh, freezer, and put our lunch meat, fruit and veggies in her fridge.

THEN--and I know you won't believe this--when I packed things up the next morning....

I FORGOT THE CELERY!!!

(by the way, Ardith...did you find a large back of cut-up greenish stuff in your fridge?)

The way I see it, this is good news.

First and foremost, the case has been solved.

Secondly, I am probably not suffering from any early-onset dementia, as I did remember all the other food including the meat, string cheese and most importantly, my pop.

It has been an act of Providence. God allowed me to forget the celery. What I forgot for ill, He can use for my daughter's Vitamin K and C enrichment.

Fourthly and most awfully essential, the Alien Mother Ship will come after Ardith, since she is in possession of the mutilated veggies.

Have a nice day, ma chère :-D
 

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First Report Back

I'll be getting together a little post on Loren's dad, later. The memorial service went well and as always happens with the Hoyt clan, visiting together was a tremendous encouragement. And hey, I finally got to meet "the other Nancy" :-) who has personally restocked my supplies of Diet Cherry Coke and Dove's Dark Chocolates, not to mention many wonderful goodies for the kids. (and an African Violet :-D

Yes, Nancy Hoyt, you are in the will.

A very huge thank you to all who prayed for travel safety and gave generous gifts to help us with gas and other expenses.

All of these were a tremendous blessing to our family.
________________

We arrived back to snow on the ground...Oh cruel, CRUEL Iowa!
In the right foreground a Killdeer can be spied, quite possibly rather confused...


'Tis a bitter pill, but one that should soon melt with the 60 degree temps promised for early next week.

(And indeed, after lunch green grass could clearly be seen, retaking its April habitat)



All the chill'uns left at home survived quite well while we were gone. There was even some cleaning done in my absence prompting my usual comment, "Wow. I should really go away more often."

Everyone was pretty wiped out by the time we arrived home. Loren, from driving all the way back from Tennessee and one particular person who (like myself) found the snow depressing, especially with garden plans in the offing.

Nolan and Trevor had been sleeping most of the way back from Ardith's house, but Trevor woke up enough to stumble into the computer room, sit down and start fumbling with his mouse before Kendra caught him and reminded the young computer wizard it was bedtime.

Apparently the thought of resuming his communion with "Treh-joh Gahl-wux-y" was the underlying strength which sustained this five-year-old throughout the long hours of road travel.

Breaking News---Besides Dove's Dark Chocolates and my crossword puzzle book, I've discovered another source of epicurean delight...

Pringles Spicy Guacamole Chips

Folks, this is pert-near the best chip in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD !

And you know I would never exaggerate.

I couldn't find it on the Pringles website, so perhaps it's being test-marketed in our area, Iowa being a bastion of high-toned consumer taste.

Anyway, these chips go especially well with Diet Cherry Coke. In fact, the one almost begs for the other. PLUS, NO TRANS FAT. That should allay any worries of the health-conscious.

So go out and purchase a gross or two. And I would be curious as to whether these are available in all areas of the states (nay, the world) or just in happnin' kinda places like lil' ol' Iowa.

Continuing with my disjointed theme, let me mention a wonderful book I picked up at the Waterloo Goodwill store, The Dilbert Principle As in, hard-back.

*grins*

This is my latest bathroom reading material. I figure, if you have to be in a small enclosed place that contains the equipment for monotonous daily ablutions as WELL as that horrid liar of a bathroom scale, you might as well have a little fun.

Just today I ran across a particularly funny cartoon...

...as well as a great quote,

"Many dolts will try to impede your brilliant plans. You can minimize their collective resistance through a process called 'getting buy-ins.' This involves collecting the opinions of people who care about a decision, acting interested, then pretending that your plan is a direct reflection of what the majority of people want.

This might sound silly, but if you compare it to the alternatives it's the only practical solution. You can't accommodate a hundred different opinions, and you can't ignore them. All you can do is provide people with the illusion that they participated in the decision. For some reason, that's enough to make people happy. This is the basis for all democracies."

(As well as non-profit groups, churches and families, heh, heh)

*knock, knock*

"Becky? I need to take a shower...are you about done in there?"

"Oh...right. Gimme a minute, I'm almost done with this chapter..."

(See, people who don't laugh a lot, can feel like crying all the time)
 

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Arrived safely home...

...after 11:00 last night.

More later.
 

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Tennessee Trip Pictures

The little boys had about 45 minutes in the motel pool this morning.

Here is Trevor, barely above the shallow end depth.
I don't know why this picture is a little blurry, but I'm sure it wasn't my fault...

Nolan amidst pool geometrics


Niece Austelle (with super scrunchy face) sharing baby Katie with Aunt Sharon
Notice the designer burp diaper :-)

Couldn't resist photogenic Uncle Mark holding his grand-niece
Not sure why the background bricks are not level. Probably Mark's fault.

The "Hoyt" table in the Heartland Grill earlier this evening. Ardith is either making some cogent point, or randomly waving her hands in the air...it's so hard to tell with software engineers.
On the front right sit Nolan and Trevor. This was before Trevor started crawling underneath the table but after Nolan had spilled an entire glass of pink lemonade, which was not his fault, of course...

Time to say goodbye. Being the kind aunt that I am, I told Austelle she looked far too good to be a new mother. I really should write greeting cards or something....in the foreground is Loren's only sister, Nelda.


Tomorrow we start for Iowa with word that Ackley is under a winter storm warning.

Should be fun.
 

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Live from Dayton Tennessee

Just a quick note to say we are safely arrived and (almost) settled in the motel room.

Loren has his hub up and running so that we can both be online at the same time. That lets you know what's important in this family...

The kids are unwinding by watching Animal Planet while trying out some of the MANY amusements we found awaiting us in the motel room :-D

Let's see...

-a WHOLE 12-pack of Diet Coke (and as tempted as I am to snarf a can down this parched throat, I think sleeping during the night would be more welcome)

-fruit basket complete with mixed nuts and DOVE's DARK CHOCOLATES! and certain spa-type amenities

-a wonderful basket for the boys which includes easter chocolates, toys and the like, and the largest pencils I have ever SEEN.

I probably forgot something, but that's most of it.

Ardith decided to come along with us after all, and helped out with the driving. I rode in the back seat with the boys which facilitated a bit of school with Nolan and operated movies for the crew. I was also directly in front of the stereo speaker but I'm sure my hearing will return soon...

Uncle Stan and Aunt Nora are right next to us in the adjoining room so we opened up the door and visited for just a wee spell. Ardith is above us in something slightly more posh as she told us her room sports a recliner. Some people seem to fall into plush situations without half trying, but I should really get to bed before I start waxing on the injustices of the world.
 

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Today's Happenings

• Mulled over plans and decided that: Loren and I will drive out to TN for the funeral, taking Nolan and Trevor with us. Kendra will keep up things on the home front. We'll drive down to Ardith's, stay overnight, and drive on Monday for about 12 hours. The funeral is Tuesday and we'll drive back Wednesday.
  
• Took Derek in for his pro-time, since he was scheduled for one on Monday but we won't be here...NEW TECH, not schooled in the finger-prick method. Derek had to get blood drawn the old fashioned way and we don't know the result
  
• Did touch-up cleaning at the church since there was a Good Friday service on....Friday
  
• Managed to scrape together some lunch
  
• Trimmed three boys' hair
  
• Did weekly shopping early, to supply kids and get food for trip. Picked up 30 dollars worth of clearance clothing for six bucks from Wal-Mart :-D
  
• Came home and took blurry picture of heron flying beside the gravel road 2 miles from house (one of these days I'll get him!)
  
• Came back to news that a bat had been spotted in basement. Pre-heated oven for pizza and went on bat hunt. Found nothing but remained extremely thankful that Loren had fixed up our "laundry room" on main floor, complete with new washer :-D so no one needs to go to the basement to do laundry any more (or even go to the landing to play "hide and seek")
  
• Talked over meal possibilities with Kendra for while we are gone
  
• Threw last load of laundry in washer
  
• Watched "Red Green"
  
• Deftly uploaded a couple pics to TWO editing programs and reassigned them to folders for Sunday posting (I hope)
  
• Found an old dress in the closet that will actually fit me for Sunday church
  
• Organized all my vitamins for the week
  
• Blogged, finally (by the way, our wireless is back!)
  
• Congratulated self
  
• Went to bed
  

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Loren's Dad

 
We received a call not long ago that Lowell Hoyt passed away this afternoon, around 2:30. He was 87.

Apparently the blood transfusion he received recently was the only thing giving him some semblance of returning health, but when the effects of that ebbed, so did Lowell's vitals.

Loren's father was a believer and now resides with our Lord in heaven...

...wherein no one grows old or infirm.

Thank you to all who have prayed.
 

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Urgent Prayer Request

Very frustratingly, we've been off-line since last night. Loren has been gone all day and unable to contact our Internet provider...hence tonight's modem connection.

That's not the prayer request, but our being out of contact has caused us to miss out on some rather alarming news concerning Loren's dad.

Lowell Hoyt had been hospitalized, you remember, a few weeks ago. He was discharged to a care center where he could get some better care and some rehabilitative therapy.

It was communicated to the staff that Lowell has a swallowing problem and that he really needs to have someone help him eat and have his liquids thickened so as to facilitate swallowing and not aspirating drinks. He was so hesitant to try and drink liquids that he easily became dehydrated.

ANYWAY, this was all finally realized by the staff and they were doing a good job of seeing to his needs in that regard.

As a doctor routinely checked him, it was decided that his pneumonia was not completely gone and that he should be readmitted to the hospital (a different one) to have some fluid drained from his lungs.

While there he was given a meal and aspirated some into his lungs causing a drastic downturn. Had to be put on 100% oxygen and his saturation level was still 80%. Not very responsive and his heart rate went up to 160 or 170. The doctor ordered blood to improve his blood quality and that seems to have helped dramatically. He was awake though he did not speak when visited by family which drove up in the wee hours of the morning to see him.

It will take a couple of days to get rid of the aspirated food and during that time Lowell will be fed through a nasal tube for a bit so his lungs can recover.

There seems to have been some break in the communication link concerning the swallowing problems but it sounds as if that is all cleared up at present.

Soooo, even if one has all the usual medical data on a patient, if you miss some supposedly simple thing like.....THEY CAN'T SWALLOW EASILY....it can really trip a patient up.

As of the last email we received, Loren's dad seems to have stabilized.

Please pray that he can continue to recover and that the medical people who are in charge of him will be aware and take care of him properly.

Thank you.
 

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Ice in April

The sepia tint denotes the depressed state we reside in as we contemplate temperatures in the twenties and ice on the windows and screens.

Oh, and snow flurries.

The good news is...the 24 mph winds make the 25 degree temperature feel like 10 degrees (12 C).

Haven't seen Rocky for a couple 'o days so I hope the poor pigeon is OK.
____________________

A new month means new holidays to celebrate, no matter how our senses beg to differ.

April is....

INTERNATIONAL GUITAR MONTH!! Yes...a worldwide holiday, folks! The rest are simply of national status:

Keep America Beautiful Month

Math Education Month

Frog Month

Humor Month

Stress Awareness Month (oh, could I give you an earful, there...)

Poetry Month

Garden Month

Those are all the non-depressing designations, ANYway. In keeping with the last, our seed order arrived today :-) You should have seen the excitement on the kids' faces. Right up until the first snowflake fell.

*makes mental note to "dig up" a tiller*

Of course it being National Poetry Month there should be PLENTY of opportunity for Ma to unleash her lines of rhyme. Remember, the above pronouncement does not distinguish between good or bad poetry :-D so all's fair in love and non-prosaic doggerel.

As for this day in particular--Tell a Lie Day--please don't. This holiday was probably made up by the same folks that produced famous ditties such as, "You're not overweight, you're just big-boned," and (in shocked amazement) "But Honey, I didn't buy the Harley for me, it's for the family!"

Pardon my distraction.
___________

On the home front I am happy to say that I'm starting to feel better, though five or six days of no exercise has probably taken it's toll. But hey, WHAT'S A FEW MORE POUNDS on someone who's been up and down as much as me? Hah! Nothing. A mere pittance. A drop in the ol' lard bucket, as they say.

To close in a spirit of humor, a cartoon.
 

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