See....?

.....Iowa isn't entirely flat.

Tweet

There's power, and then, there's POWER

For someone who did not "talk" until after the age of 3 and a half, I am pleased to see that Jason has developed into an able communicator, quite capable of expressing himself in an articulate manner. I am SO pleased, in fact, that I find I must raise the bar of my expectancy, in the category of essays, papers and related academic matters.

In fact, the basis of a new research paper suddenly springs to mind. A thorough study of Ephesians 6:1, with particular attentions being given to practical applications. Yes, I think that would do. And, try to hold it to 15 pages. Though, since I'm giving you such an early "heads up" on the topic, you will not be penalized for going long. I might even be persuaded to give extra credit in the foreign language department if the final draft came to me in Koine Greek. (I'd just give it to Sharon to grade :-)

And there's just one more little thing: I am NOT changing my username and/or password, because they are mine, do you hear me? MINE!! ALL MINE!!! I had them first, see, and as we always said when I was little, (which is like, SO before you were BORN, it isn't even FUNNY)

THEY ARE MINE.......!!!

*waits for face to resume normal color*

So, it is with supreme confidence and assurance that I calmly go back to my daily duties, (many of which involve feeding you) secure in the knowledge that you will "do the right thing."

(your loving mother, who has uncomplainingly slaved for these many years, wearing my very fingers down to nubbins, planting corn, so that you and your siblings could have the pleasure of weeding it)

Tweet

Power is a precious thing...

Hmm... It seems that I know yet another person's Identification Username and Password, which enables me to stealthily enter one's blog and make a few *ahem* minor additions.

Leaning back in my chair, I can think of three possible outcomes to this terrible deed which I have done:

a) I will be sent out of the home with only dry crusts of bread to knaw on,
b) I will be completely disowned by my family, and all who know me, or
c) I will be forever banished from the realms of the will, whatever that may be.

Upon furthur, and much deeper reflection, I realize that there IS a fourth possibility, that being:

d) All of the above.

Well, whichever one, something is going to happen. I can only hold my breath and wait. Oh, and also maybe get a point across that some people need to change some vital information about their blogs.

Please bear with me on any spelling mistakes in this post, as I have doubts about Blogger's spell checker.

No, this is not Rebecca Hoyt, but her extremely talented son, Jason Hoyt, the First, and most likely, the Last.

Tweet

The sun reappears....

...after the storm


Currently, there is a storm raging in my head, so I will not post in length. But, we have had two very engaging speakers on both evenings of family camp, so far. I judge this in part, by how attentive 10-year-old Carolyn has been. "Mommy, that's the first time I listened all the way through!"

("That's nice, dear. Some day, when you guys are all grown up, I'll be able to listen all the way through again, too.")

*sigh*

Family camp has been very good so far. Especially since Jason was not rendered completely unconscious by an industrial sling-shot powered water balloon.

Time for Tylenol and bed.

Tweet

Chocolate....it's GOOD for you

Daughter Sharon has alluded to the benefits of chocolate, and it seems the evidence is just piling up.

Soon, pills made with cocoa based flavanols could be in your medicine cabinet. The fact that the study was sponsored by MARS candy company is of little or no consequence. They study because they care.

Actually, why not skip the "middleman," and just--eat--chocolate? Preferably, dark chocolate.

*looks at Dove's wrappers in waste basket*

Man, I am SO healthy, it's almost disgusting.

Tweet

The Camp-line Report, with Jim and Bob

*backstage chatter*

"I'm tellin' ya, Jim, I was THIS CLOSE to covering the "World Santa Claus Congress," in Copenhagen. But, instead, I get dumped in Iowa, again."

"Now, now, Bob. Iowa's a fun place, too. Hey, it's home of the Eskimo Pie, after all. What's not to love?"

"Aw Jim, what's that, compared to Hans Christian Anderson, and all those super pastries!"

*sigh* "Bob, not all of us are called to fairy tales and fattening breakfast food. Some of us were destined to corn and soybeans, my friend..."

*technician's voice: "five seconds to air...in three, two, one.."*

"Good evening, and welcome to the Jim-Bob Report. I'm Jim McDonald and our man in the field, Bob MacCackle has an update on that crazy Hoyt family in Iowa. Bob? What's going on this time of year, and, more importantly, can you tell us what kind of field you are in?"

"Well, Jim, as luck would have it, I am standing in a soybean field, which makes it SO much easier, since you can't even SEE me if I'm standing in a corn field. But as to the latest update, the Hoyt clan is preparing for Family Camp, which starts tomorrow evening, which would be....uh....Wednesday. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's right. Wednesday. And, let me tell you, they have just been cookin' up a STORM, here, today."

"Cooking, eh? Could you elaborate, for us, Bob?"

"Sure thing, Jim. The kitchen's been awfully busy today, with the making of meatballs, cookie bars, muffins, cookies, cupcakes, and a rather strange casserole."

"Strange casserole, Bob? How so?"

"Well, it has turkey, tomato sauce and broccoli in it. That's TURKEY, TOMATO SAUCE, and BROCCOLI, Jim. I mean, some things just aren't right. We're talkin' INCOMPATIBLE SUBSTANCES, here, Jim, and that's no joke."

"That does sound extreme, Bob. And, it's a fair guess that the elder President Bush won't be stopping by, for everyone knows he HATES broccoli...." *chuckles*

"Yeah, Jim, *heh, heh* Say, you suppose he ever figured out it was you who sent that semi-load of broccoli to the White House?"

"Whoa! Look at the time, folks! I'm sorry, but as we all know, the clock is the enemy of newsmen and preachers. And that wraps up our first Camp-line Report. Tune in tomorrow when we discover whether 'Ma' will take the "easy way out" and just post pictures, or tap out a few lines of substance. Either way, someone loses. Quite possibly, everyone."

"This is Jim McDonald, for Bob MacCackle, wishing everyone a, 'Good Night.'"

Tweet

A Caveat....

My learned husband bids me make apologies for posting so many pictures, as it is cumbersome and time consuming for people with modems to download the photos.

I most certainly do not wish to bring distress to anyone's web-life, so, please know that I am very sorry some of you have modems.

Sincerely, Ma

Tweet

The Sweaty Side of Ma

It was a 3 Coke day (as in Diet Cherry)


Yes, I guess it's true: some people have no shame. But, I prefer to think of it this way: some people are so humble, they don't mind if people view them at their lowly moments.

What I'm trying to say is...."Hey baby, it's HOT out there!"

This vision of sweat is brought to you after mowing, weeding, pulling crab grass, and pruning. Oh yes, before all that, I went shopping in the morning.

The heat advisory is supposed to end this evening. In fact, the heat is supposed to end this evening. If you doubt me, just check out the radar. Possible heavy weather approaching. (of course, this will have no bearing, whatsoever, if you are unfortunate enough to view this after July 25) Boy, would I LOVE to get a picture of a tornado.....

"OK, kids. Let's get those bikes in under the roof and open stud walls of the garage, where they'll be safe."

Now, the big question is: should I take a shower? Or try for the "World's Stinkiest Mom Award?"

Tweet

Scenes of Summer

Iowa: no stranger to development

Tweet

A ten-year-old's memorial to a fallen Monarch (butterfly)

Tweet

Ethan Pensively Polishes the New Push Mower

It took multiple attempts, but this finally published....so...*yawn*...I win :-)

Tweet

Nolan and His Bike: Together Again

The last doctor appointment has come and gone. *crosses fingers* No more 3-5 hour afternoons spent in travel and waiting rooms, trying to distract him from the idiotic soap operas on TV.

Nolan wasted no time in reconnecting with his bike, on an official basis. He has tried to ride it several times, but there are just too many "spies and ratters" around for him to get away with it. Another advantage of a large family. There may be more children to get in trouble, but there are also more narcs.

Some caution is necessary. He will continue to wear the splint during activities for the next fortnight. In six more weeks the bone should finish healing. He still could have a re-break if he is not careful, especially in the next two weeks. But, the worst is over. (I hope...)

IN OTHER NEWS:

Loren is working on plumbing. He has been "at it" on and off for four days. Each time the water must be turned off, so baths, toilet flushing and the dishwasher have to be carefully worked in. Today should be the last day. He has replaced some old piping with new, and rerouted certain water-use areas of the house to different water heaters. I don't attempt to understand it, I just try to keep clean.

I swept and swiffered the kitchen floor today. I like to do this, once in a while, just to see the looks of awe on the children's faces. Cleanliness is secondary. Shock value is everything.

We have a new (little) mower. The other one had gone downhill over the past months. We discovered a line of fine print in the manual that prohibits methannol as fuel. In Iowa, that is the cheapest, and we had been using that as mower gas. Plus, it didn't help that two little boys had been conducting experiments with the gas tank and alternative forms of energy. *puts head in hands* (don't even ask....) *heavy, HEAVY sigh* Thus, el cheapo mowero del Wal-Marto. It may be small, but it works. And, if Loren can get the other one running, we will have TWO :-) Jason and I have already made plans to mimic the multiple combines in the big wheat fields....

Film at eleven.

Tweet

A Walk Down Nostalgia Lane

Undeniable proof that I (at least) made it through 5th grade


(more in-depth analysis, later)

[5:40] You see before you, a very rare parchment, once known as THE REPORT CARD. It has been meticulously dated at 35 years of age, by that ancient process of turning said card over, and noting, "May-29-70." This writing, was performed with a "PEN," an age-old instrument once used by students and teachers alike, to perform "information storage." The folded report card then fit neatly into an open edged envelope, of manilla persuasion. When the card was pulled out of the envelope, one's parent could look at, and observe one's grades. This was known as "information retrieval," or, as some kids used to say, "I am in SUCH big trouble, now."

But, let us take a closer look at the 5th grade achievement of "Ma." (of course, there was no reason to be called "Ma," at that juncture, so, I'll just revert to what my Dad used to call me, "Becker the Wrecker.")

So, ol' Becker did not do too badly, all things considered. I notice that she averaged "A's" in everything, except Math. I am wondering if the two "A-'s" and two "B's" couldn't possibly have averaged out to a B-plus? But, oh well. We had to learn fractions that year. My kids will testify that I am not the one they go to for help with math.

The spelling category brings a little scenario to mind. We were having a class spelling bee, and I received the word, "habit." I hesitated, and then the teacher smiled and said, "Like 'rabbit'...." So, naturally, I spelled it with two "b's." I got it wrong, and she smiled, again. This time a little guiltily. But, I am not bitter, oh no. Besides, she ended up marrying a fellow whose last name described her to a "T." So, it all evened out, in the end.

Despite being sick 31 days, I still managed to pull off an "A" in Health. *looks smug*

I'm gonna save this a few more years, then auction it off on Ebay. I stand to make quite a little bundle. Especially if I ever locate that spelling teacher.

Now, I think there's an old report card of Loren's around here somewhere.....

Tweet

Will the real Ethnologue troopers, please stand up.....

Linda and Gary Simons


Getting back to yesterday morning....I was perusing the science section of The New York Times, *glances around eruditely* when what should appear before my eyes, but this article. (you might have to apply for a painless, quick and free subscription to read it)

Yes, it is talking about the Ethnologue, a project overseen in large part by GARY SIMONS. And, LINDA did a whole bunch of proofreading. They can correct me if I gave them too much credit :-) Here is a nifty picture and explanation, since the Times article seems to have *cough* left off an important person of the project.

These are the folks who we stayed with on the way to Ardith's graduation. They are in the midst of stirring up a scrumptious batch of chili for our lunch. I was just getting used to the camera, so I hadn't learned "zooming in." But no matter, 'cause now you can see what a neat kitchen Linda keeps. Almost as clean as mine. *sounds of choking* (maybe there is something to this divine retribution stuff)

So, I thought it would be good to share some of the REAL PEOPLE behind this project, and....well....show you that they are indeed, REAL PEOPLE. And extremely gracious and hospitable, too. They even promised me their autographs, and gave me permission to sell them (the signatures, not Gary and Linda) on Ebay, so long as I give half the profit to SIL (Summer Institute of Linguistics)

If you are ever in Dallas, look them up and they will give you a tour. I'm sure they wouldn't mind me volunteering their services, for, as we all know, the meaning of the word "missionary" is, "people other Christians take advantage of."

Now, let's not get all bent out of shape :-) folks. A little levity can lighten anyone's load. At any rate, our family took the tour and we can HIGHLY recommend it.

God bless Gary and Linda Simons and the ministry down in Dallas.

Tweet

(is this big enough?)

Tweet

Daylilies on Parade

"You said this would be fun...."


{5:00]Well, aside from the remarkably beautiful flowers, depicting the care and nurture of a horticulturist of ex-traordinary talent, things are looking bleak. I opened my last can of Diet Cherry Coke, earlier, and the Dove's Dark Chocolates are getting dangerously low. Oh yes, we just finished the ice cream, too. So with the staples almost gone, I foresee a shopping day, tomorrow. May as well pick up a few luxuries, like eggs, milk and cheese, while I'm at it.

I would be mowing, but the rip cord will not pull at all, let alone rip. So, I took that as a Providential sign for me to come in and cool off. Except, there is no more Diet Cherry Coke....*sob* Loren is working on some plumbing in the basement, so there is no running water at the moment, either. I told him the cheery news about the mower, 'cause, that's what wives do.

I think I'll go out and weed in the garden. It's very satisfying, and, it takes almost no technology. I do like the camera and my computer, though. I think I'll keep them. But, I just might make a planter out of the mower.....

Tweet

Of Burgers, Bikes and Books

Wonder of wonders, I called up the eye clinic, and discovered....Nolan's broken glasses are under warranty! HOORAY! Plus, they had the exact frames in stock...so...that is where The-boy-who-would-tempt-danger and I went this morning. Late morning. SO late, that a nearby eatery veritably called to us, not unlike the Sirens hollerin' at ol' Ulysses.

And thus we partook of repast at the yellow-arched abode, which houseth the clown coiffed in red.

So, we managed seating at two bar-stools, and enjoyed our burgers amidst the black and silver color scheme with random modern art made from cast-off pieces of metal. The seating also afforded an excellent view of the menu and prices, where I noticed something interesting: there are not just Kids Meals, but now, there are Mighty Kids Meals. Instead of the puny hamburger, cheeseburger or 4 pieces of dubious chicken nuggets, in MIGHTY MEALS one can get a double cheeseburger, for $3.69, or a six nugget meal, for $3.89. Which looks reasonable, until one notices that the (supposedly adult) double cheeseburger meal only costs $3.19! The chicken nugget adult meal was also less, though only by 10 cents. Still, when one considers that larger fries and larger drinks go with the adult meals, it starts to look more and more like a Communist plot. I mean, there IS that business of Ronald McDonald's red hair.....and, well....personally, I am shocked.

Almost as shocked as I was when I remembered we had left Nolan's glasses case back at the eye clinic. Lucky for US we were only half a block away. Just THINK of the angst had we traveled directly home, like good little soldiers. And so, our stop at McDonald's was vindicated. Not only did I get a glimpse of disparate pricing, but we were able to pick up the missing case. I love it when a plan comes together.

Next stop? A local second hand shop. Two bikes were bought. I talked them down from 5 to 4 dollars on the one without a seat. And books! Let me see what I brought home....

*rummages through box*

-"Islands in the Stream," by Ernest Hemingway (I decided that for $1.00 I could give him another chance)
-"Paul Revere and the World He Lived In," by Esther Forbes (Oops! I accidently got TWO of this one. Maybe I can palm one off on Wilson....)
-"Tales of Edgar Allan Poe," by....oh yeah....POE :-)
-"The Pioneers," by James Fenimore Cooper
-"Napoleon," by Emil Ludwig
-"Mr. Bass's Planetoid" (don't know WHY, but I thought of Ardith)
-"Trixie Beldon and the Mysterious Visitor" (with a name like "Trixie," what's not to love?)

Those are a few of them, anyway. Pay no mind to any typos. I have to get out and mow before the sun goes down.....

[p.s. It is possible to mow until 9:15, if there are no clouds and you're on the west side of the yard. A waxing moon doesn't hurt, either]

Tweet

Ma's Words to Live By

Whistle Stop Cafe Goodness


1) Well, let's face it, chocolate cake is a great addition to any day.

2) Working outside in the heat is an excellent way to get a headache.

3) Glasses can fall off your face if you are sweaty enough.

4) Gasoline used in burning off dead weeds is a nice way for mothers and sons to bond.

5) Entering an air-conditioned house while drenched in sweat is an invitation to turn into a popsicle.

6) Baths are good.

7) It only takes 9 days until a rambunctious 6-year-old will climb a bookcase, fall, and bust up his new glasses. (looking on the "bright side," he did not rebust his leg)

8) Chocolate can soothe many a stress. From the Dove's Dark maxims:

Life without chocolate is too terrible to contemplate.

9) Kids still say the funniest things.

10) *looks below and BLINKS* When you least suspect it, your husband may post on the blog, which you would have noticed if it didn't take SO LONG to be satisfied with the editing....Please read Loren's contribution.

Tweet

Walking past another milepost

I thought it would be good once again to thank each one who has continued to hold me and my family up in prayer. If not for all your prayers and our Lord's faithfulness to answer them, I would never have made it this far.

There have not been many references recently to how my health is progressing so.....

Just last Monday, the 11th, I decided to try walking around the block, a very typical rural Iowa block. A mile on each side makes it exactly 4 miles around. Some may remember that Becky has done this walk herself in the past as her main avenue of exercise, though not much recently. I thought I would try it out just in case she decided to take that course up again and desired my company (one can hope, right.) Well, she had already started her walk a few minutes earlier, but I wished to go in the opposite direction, figuring that she would turn back like usual and we would not run over each other, accidently of course.

Though unknown to me, she had decided that day to try out the whole block too, I'm sure to see how much ground might have been lost in the preceeding weeks. About two thirds of the way around for her and one third the opposite way for me we did run into each other, narrowly avoiding a massive collision. As luck would have it she changed her mind after coolly passing me by and turned around to run back to me, even though it added about a mile and one half to her jaunt. We then finished our morning walk together; sweating much, huffing a little and both deciding we were not quite ready to do that every day just yet. It was good though for each of us to be able to say that we COULD do it.

On the medical side, I will be going back to Mayo mid-August for another of those wonderfully fun heart biopsies. The Dr's. would like to change my medication to a less toxic course but want to see my rejection retreat that last little step from 1A to "zero" before doing so. I would covet your prayers that changes would take place in my heart's condition to allow that next step in my recovery. The doctors and we also need the Lord's guidance about a decision concerning if and when I should return to work.

Thanks once again for all the prayers, help and support so many have given on our behalf.

I now return this discourse to my wife's hands, at least until she learns to get it right.

Tweet

And some of them were MISSING...

Grandma and Grampa Hoyt with a "few" of the grandkids.


Several more generations, and we'll be ready for world takeover. Over in New Zealand/Australia (it's all the same, isn't it?) are eight more grandchildren and 10 or more great grandchildren. Really, it's becoming so hard to keep track. And then, there were the lame excuses from Ardith and Matthew of having to work. And, get this, Matt claimed to be on a business trip to San Diego, or San Juan, or something. (It's all the same....) Like, I'm gonna believe that.

A few picture points of interest:
-some of the kids were hidden because I was standing to the left of the "real" photographer
-Trevor can be seen on the left, back, very red in the face. He was mad. He wanted his chère maman to hold him, but she did not QUITE qualify...
-all the grandchildren had to be "re-shot" when it was discovered that several had been down goofing about near the pond. *looks smug* I believe we were one of two families NOT represented by such errancy. I am hoping this will accrue as bonus points for me, sometime, somewhere, in some capacity.
-you will notice how BIG the picture is :-) I managed this all by my little ol' self! Now, maybe I can resize and republish that sunset picture, so a certain whiner from Indiana can put it up for his screen saver....(I want documentation, and credit, fella)*blows kiss*

Speaking of families, we spent all afternoon at the Franklin County Fair, so that we could enjoy the music ministry of the Franz Family. They sang at 12:00, 2:00, and 4:00, and yes, we stayed for ALL performances. Weren't planning to, it just happened. And, here's a suggestion for the Fair Board for next year: LOSE THE HYPNOTIST!! fer cryin' out loud!! She went WAY over her time and cut into the Franz's second gig. If I want to hear random screams and weird noises from somnolent beings, I'll bait my mouse traps with Benadryl. (by the way, got two more mice, today, bringing the total to nine)

To counteract the stifling heat and humidity of the day, we bought freshly prepared, homemade ice cream, in between concerts two and three. There was a large belt connected to the back of a tractor, (seemed different than the standard PTO) which went to another power thingy, which was attached to four whatzit's, which ran four ice cream freezers. (If I ever get tired of blogging, I'll go back to college and turn this natural affinity for engineering into a degree)

And yes, Moore, the dessert was creamy, golden, vanilla goodness.

Tweet

Ma's Mouse-capades

So, I am down in the basement, this morning, sorting laundry. There are the usual divisions: whites, colors, and clothes of unknown ethnic origin. And, what should I find at the very bottom of the pile? But a wee little mouse. This is the third mouse of substandard proportions I have "run across," as we say, in rodent-killerspeak. I do not believe it was young, but of a rather rare and pygmy type variety. How do I know this? I don't. But hey, who's gonna debate me?

Anyhow, the unfortunate creature looked dazed and sickly. Not being at ALL sure of it's quality of medical insurance coverage, I proceeded to put it out of my misery, so to speak. That makes seven mice in five days. Three, just this morning. [and two more this evening] Things are looking up, from a human point of view. Plus, I get to review basic math facts.

Then there is the burrowing mouse. I haven't actually seen him in action, but I have witnessed the untidy spillage from Sharon's peace lily. This rodent-of-no-regard has been regularly tunneling into the pot of this pacifistic house plant, leaving dirt all over my new, blue countertop. I mean, what kind of a sicko mouse would do such a thing? (Sometimes I think the whole WORLD has gone mad.....) But, I fixed up the pot, trimmed off the dead and nibbled leaves (yes, it was eating the leaves!) and repositioned it on top of the refrigerator. Let him just try and get at it up there, huh? Let him try.

This has been so exciting, one is almost tempted to recount the true experiences of eight years ago.....I speak of, "Ma's Rat Tales." *shudders*

Of course, I would have to have people simply begging me before I gave in....

*whistles nonchalantly*

Tweet

The World According to Nolan and Trevor

(conversations on the way home from prayer meeting)

N: Nolan-6-slept through most of the service
T: Trevor-3
M: Mommy, (me)-40ish

N: (gazing out the van window) "I wish I could sleep on the moon."

M: "It's very cold up there. You couldn't sleep. And, there's no air, so you couldn't breathe."

*breif silence*

T: "But, how get down by moon?"

M: *blinks* "You mean, how would you get down? Well, you couldn't. Plus, we can't get up there, so, we'd better just stay down HERE and sleep."

N: "Well, I HATE fireflies?"

M: "You do? Why?"

N: "Because they might land on me and burn me."

*explanation attempted that fireflies do not actually contain material capable of producing fire, or even heat*

*somewhat disconcerting conversation between both boys concerning dogs, (big and little), guns and knives. Ends with M: "Well, we don't HAVE any guns, so we aren't shooting any dogs!"

*pause*

T: "I wish I could sleep on the moon..."

M: *sigh and reiteration of the frigid/no breathing atmosphere and insurmountable distance arguments*

T: "I could ***** a ladder."

*blinks

What followed, after the laughter, was a short debate as to whether Trevor said he would build a ladder (to the moon)-Kendra's claim, or climb a ladder (to the moon)-mine.

Personally, I'm going with the latter, 'cause somehow, it just sounds less scary...

Tweet

Monday's Mélange

(Yes, I'm aware that it is Tuesday, but "Monday's Mélange" just has a better alliterative feel to it. I like to call this literary technique, "Ma's Dissemblage.")

SO, the best thing about a hot, sunny day, is that it feels so WONDERFUL when you come inside after mowing for hours and toss back a "cold one." I speak, of course, of a diet cherry Coke. Two, to be exact. Sometimes, I just feel like living dangerously.

Another wonderful thing, is soaking the old "war wound" in a hot bath. I refer to a little nerve damage in the right leg, incurred during the pregnancy years....which, if I'm not mistaken....*counts on fingers* took up just over 8 years of my married life, if you count in the three pregnancies that ended in miscarriage. The nerve damage, which occasionally causes some moderate pain, came about, I am GUESSING, from carrying six babies over nine pounds, one which was almost ten, and Nolan, who was eleven. Not that I'm complaining. (Well, maybe just a little...)The other four were mere 7's and 8's.

Speaking of blessings, several of them reminded me that tonight is the All Star Game. Hmmm...we just might have to eat supper in the living room :-) I notice that Derek Jeter won't be playing this time around. Too bad, but I guess they have to give the young bucks a chance to play once in a while.

Stan and Nora, I discovered two pieces from that puzzle while I was unpacking our stuff from the trip! Guess they got knocked off the coffee table when we set our bags there. Now, if only I remembered where I put them...I could send them back in an envelope. Until then, I suggest a few pieces of cardboard and some blue/green magic markers. Those trees all look the same....

And speaking of lost things....here's a plea to help my Dad find an old poem from somewhere in his past. He remembers these two lines:

"If our presence seems to grieve you, we will go away and leave you. For we're just poor folks, your mother and I."

Has to do with an ungrateful child. (sniffing, optional) I told him I would find this, NO PROBLEM, on the Internet, but have had absolutely NO luck. I even posted the question on a poetry forum. So, come on and help me save face, people. Besides, I may need this little gem to induce some heavy guilt in my own children, some day.

Supper is in the oven. Turkey/beef meat loaf with carrot pieces thrown in to make it look bigger - I'll just tell them it's French - baked potatoes-biscuits from those cans that never open, (again, French) and, if I manage not to burn them this time, vegetables.

Welp, gotta hit the showers before the baseball game. (go Yankees :-)

Tweet

Sha-za-yum

Mah pewter has been hai-yulled!

I even have been upgraded to a wireless keyboard and mouse. One could almost wonder if one were being "buttered up" for some reason. I just may have to cross an item or two off my list of Things I Do Not Hold Against Certain People. Or, think about it, at least.

*scoots back and reclines, slightly*

This absolutely makes up for yesterday, which began around 2:00. And I'm not talkin' afternoon. Someone tapped on our bedroom door at this wee hour. They had been availing themselves of the "powder room" when they had heard a *POP* from the basement, followed by the sound of gushing water. Usually, this is not a good sign.

After finding water spilling out of a pipe, they apologetically wakened me. Me, who did not even know how to turn off the water. I do, now, but did end up getting rather damp before learning where the cut-off valve was located.

ANYWAY, after I did not return in a reasonable length of time, Loren came to my rescue, just as I was going under for the 3rd time........OK, I'm kidding!

I had actually figured out the problem, just could not tighten the connecting valve up enough to keep it from dripping. And, I only mananged to accidentally turn the water back on, once, while Loren was fixing it. (oops :-) He was most understanding. Perhaps I should cross some more things off that list....

After that, the day just got worse, from my point of view. But, WHO CARES? For now, I have a lovely keyboard and mouse, with a nice, firm action. Sorta like a Steinway piano. You don't want too hard or too easy an action, whether you're talking computer or piano keyboards.
_______________________

We survived another humongous library day. I got to drive, Jason got to drive, and Kendra got to drive. There may be something to this socialism concept, after all. While Kendra was driving us home, the following conversation occurred between Nolan and myself:

"Mommy, can I have another cookie?"

"No, you've had enough, Nolan."

"Mommy, is Kendra a good driver?"

*eyebrows raise* "She's a decent driver.."

"I think she's a bad driver."

"Oh, she is not!"

*pause*

"Mommy? If she's a good driver, can I have another cookie?"

"No. Nice try, Nolan, but no."

Did I mention that one of the books I acquired from the library was, "Bringing Up Boys," by Dr. Dobson?

Not a moment too soon, I'd say.

Tweet

If you don't hear from me...

....it's because:

-we are off to two libraries. With 90 minutes total travel time, one hour per library, and a quick stop at WalMart and the grocery....4 hours, minimum.

-the REAL REASON---while we are gone, Loren will make the "Mother of All Computer Repairs" to my computer, in hopes of stopping the random rebooting and dumping of memory and whatever ELSE is going wrong.

Tweet

I realize this is over two months late....

....but yes, she really graduated!

I was reminded of this when Ardith's college roommate IM'd me to say that Ardith's graduation picture was in the "NOW" magazine, a LeTourneau publication. Thought I'd better get busy and get some documentation of my own, posted. This looks especially bad, if one considers the fact that my brother-in-law, Walter, who also attended the ceremony, had a CD burned with 25 or so pictures, complete with the background music, "Ain't Misbehavin'," by the time we came back that afternoon. This just confirms my notion that some of us were put here on earth to make the rest of you guys look good, technologically speaking.

Pictorially speaking, does she not look quite spiffy? Can you not imagine huge masses of newly acquired knowledge spinning around inside that head? And Ardith looks pretty good, too :-) Of course, proud father Loren always looks distinguished.

The white cord around the graduate's neck denotes having been through the honors program. It was started the year Ardith was a freshman, so this is the first class graduating from that newly instituted....mmm....thingy. They had to take extra courses, some of which involved watching movies and hobnobbing with the cooler professors. (now, I'm not exactly sure about that last part. You might want to check with her...)

Ardith had to return the gown within 30 minutes of graduation, (or they would take back the diplomas) but she got to keep the hat. This, she wears to church every Sunday, religiously, though, it is barely possible I might have that wrong....But this I DO know, it matches the dishes in her cupboard, so, maybe she just wears it at the table.

Anyway, she is all graduated and nicely settled into her apartment and job in Cedar Rapids.

*sigh*

Only nine more to go.....

Tweet

The Jim-Bob Report: Dateline, Iowa

"Good evening, and welcome to NIGHT TIME NEWS: Where we report, and you imbibe. I'm Jim McDonald, and my faithful cohort, Bob MacCackle is on assignment out of Des Moines....Wave to the folks at home, Bobbo...*whispered* (OK Bob, enough, already!)*clears throat* Once again, folks, we bring you back to that wacky Iowa clan and their latest trips on the road of life. Bob? What's going on in the heartland?"

"Well, Jim, at least I won't die of boredom on this assignment. You won't be-LIEVE what's been happening at 'Ma's' house."

"Try me, Bob. Try me."

"OK, but don't say I didn't warn you, Jim. It seems as though 'Ma' booted up the ol' computer this morning, and was shocked to discover....*sniff*.....oh man, I don't know if I can go through with this...."

"Take a deep breath, Bob. The world is waiting. No pressure, now..."

"Well....so, she booted up....and....*swallows hard*....her...her bookmarks....were...GONE!" *gulps wildly*

"Gone? Bob, are you sure? Have you reliable sources, Bob? Sources you are willing to go to jail, for?"

"Are you kidding, Jim? Of course! But...hey, ol' buddy, don't ASK me...cause....like....prison orange is SOOOO uncool...*cough* But, as I was saying, her side bar is blank, not to mention her face. And to think of this happening, on top of the mouse problem...."

"Mouse problem? Bob, perhaps a little elaboration is in order."

"You see, Jim, with the Hoyt clan coming back from a 12 day "Mother of All Reunions," trip, they were greeted with a few...um....shall we say....small furry creatures of night. And, the very worst of it, was the mouse smell, wafting from around her computer desk. And, we're talkin' past the expiration date, Jim."

"Well, we certainly appreciate that tantalizing description, Bob. Especially right at the dinner hour. So, has the problem been resolved? Or is the poor beleagured and misunderstood matriarch forced to type in the midst of a "Mouse Miasma?"

*flips through pocket dictionary*..."Ha! You almost caught me, there, Jimbo. As a matter of fact, the 'Ma' went on a search and recovery mission, just this morning. In fact, she found the source of rodent odiferousness in the first place she looked--the waste basket. I guess that little creeper won't be crawling on anyone's hardware, again"

"No sir-ree, Bob. But, getting back to that bookmark boondoggle, has there been any retrieval attempt made? Surely the technological wizardry in that household could come up with something....."

"That's a negatory, Jim. But not for lack of effort. They tried 'paths,' 'directories,' you name it. Oh, a few items popped up, but there is going to be some heavy-duty reassembling to be done, here. And I'm not talkin' Lego's, my broadcast bro'."

"So, Bob, is there any reason that can be given for this mechanical malfunction? I sense our audience needs closure, my friend."

"Well, Jim, just before we went on air, I managed to get this quote from 'Ma', herself. She said......

Personally, I blame the rodent. He was found in the vicinity. Now, all we have to do is establish motive and find a really small screwdriver.

Back to you, Jim."

"And there you have it, folks. Another up-to-the-minute report from Iowa: land of corn, soybeans, and data processing puzzles of epic proportions. I think we'll all keep a closer eye on our hard and soft wares. This is Jim McDonald, for Bob MacCackle, wishing you all a goodni..."

*epically proportional static*

Tweet

Nolan! What Nice Glasses You Have :-)

"The better to read Calvin and Hobbes, Mommy"

[later, that same day, 9:30ish]

So, the kid looks rather professorial, does he not? Let's see, that makes *counts on fingers* EIGHT children with glasses. Personally, I think Lenscrafters oughtta give us some stock.

To some, Nolan may look quiet and respectable. But, those of us in the know just refer to him as, "Derek--Reformatted." The lad was jumping on a trampoline at Uncle Doug and Aunt Cindy's. Oh, by the way, that blue thing in the bottom of the picture is the CAST ON HIS BROKEN LEG. But, since he might have gotten the cast off last Friday had we been home, I became rather lenient with his activities over the past 7 days. I did manage to keep him from riding a bike. Just barely.

As to the other activities of the day, after picking up the specs, I dragged Nolan to Walmart and the grocery store, where he exhibited amazing self-control and only asked me to buy 7 or 8 things. One thing I did purchase was a foursome of mouse traps. Those little critters had a nice cushy time of it, larking about a big house that they apparently thought was abandoned. But, no more! It is all-out rodent war, as far as I'm concerned. Even as I sit here at my desk, the faint aroma of "dead mouse" permeates the air. Any self-respecting mouse should have the decency to die in a trap, and not behind the baseboards.

Oh yes, I actually CLEANED OUT THE REFRIGERATOR today. And in record time, too. It seemed the sensible thing to do, as grocery shopping was imminent, and the twelve days of our trip had not been kind to the leftovers. I made the solemn vow that, in the future, I would stick all food remnants in zip-locks. That way, on the extremely rare *cough* occasion that inadvertent penicillin cultures were initiated, I could whip them out and toss them into the trash, sans the bio-hazard of past times.
____________________________

And now, a few of today's comments from irrepressible little boys:

I spied Ethan (8) in newly donned pajamas, and absolutely FILTHY socks.

"Ethan! Those socks look terrible. Put them in the dirty laundry, right now!"

"Ok, Mommy. I will. I think....I've had them on since Georgia...."

"You WHAT?!?!"

"Well, I just kept forgetting..."

*copious cringing*
_________________

Then, Master Trevor (3), who seems to have an enormous sense of self, informed me not once, but twice, today:

"I'm going to call you 'Mother', Mommy."

*blinks off into the sunset....*

Tweet

We Be Back!

So, safely home, once again *deep sigh of relief*

The second load of clothes is in the washer, dinner is in the oven. I'm thinkin' we should have opted for McDonald's, again, instead of that frozen lasagna that takes two hours. Personally, I blame it on van lag. Or better yet, stopping by Ardith's apartment as we came through Cedar Rapids. We simply could not forego the opportunity to spread a little good cheer. She entertained us with the visage of her new computer case: clear, with beauteous colored lights. It's nice to see her taking an interest in fine art.

Upon arriving at our house, we noticed several things were amiss.....
-there was a mouse on the kitchen table...he left without offering welcome home greetings
-one house plant appears to have bitten the dust. Have initiated intensive hydrotherapy
-the bottom half of a storm window fell out while we were gone. The wood just rotted away by Loren's computer window, and one of my hollyhocks is bent precariously. It is making a valiant attempt at staying alive, so I'll have to get busy and initiate shard pick-up, tomorrow
-the power supply to the network had croaked. Luckily, there are myriads of computer parts just waiting for the chance to take the spotlight. Loren and Jason had another one hooked up in a short while
-in an attempt to turn off some of the electricity while we were gone, the chest freezer and and extra fridge and freezer were apparently turned off, even though they had been checked.....and....well....we can kiss goodbye all the food that was there. What I feel the worst about is the quarts and quarts of applesauce that we had put up last fall

BUT, considering we have just returned from driving over 2400 miles, and we were near a pond and several pools, it is helpful to remember.....
-no one drowned
-no one was hurt, other than sunburned
-Nolan's cast did not get wet. It is still intact. In fact, he was jumping on a trampoline just yesterday *bites nails* so the lad seems to have healed
-no serious car trouble. When the wheel almost fell off, at least we weren't on the highway :-)
-we saw nearly ALL the relatives on both sides :-)
-the children got to do LOTS of fun stuff, including staying up until 2, or so, playing games (the older kids, that is)

And, the VERY best part, we get to sleep in our own bed, tonight :-D

Oh wait, the VERY BESTEST part: I have my own computer back!!!

(hey....what are these mouse droppings doing on my power center....?)

Tweet

State of the Day

If it's Monday, it must be Indiana. Hmmmm, I wonder if there are any famous people around here we could visit. Oh well, guess we'll just have to make do with family.

We are staying with my brother Doug, wife Cindy and family in the Land O' Goshen. I think this is the first time in 8 years that all of my siblings have been together. We had a bang-up picnic for the fourth of July, and yes, MORE PICTURES! The kids have been having a great time, which is totally unrelated to the fact that there is a built-in pool in the back yard. The kids started swimming shortly after 9 a.m., their sole motivating purpose being to make Doug and Cindy feel good. They have the sunburns to prove it. Whoever said, "Blood is thicker than water," wasn't kidding. I have no idea how this applies to the current situation, but I'm pretty sure he wasn't kidding, anyway.

Had a nice drive up the east side of Indiana on State Highway 1. Picturesque and quiet. Went through several old fashioned looking towns that reminded me of Mayberry. It was so nice, we even rolled down the windows to better enjoy the bucolic countryside. (What is it with men and their attempts at better gas milage?) I think it was then that a bee flew in through the window, and, despite absolutely NO provocation, met up with the insurmountable wall of "Ma's" face, and made the ultimate sacrifice on the left cheek. But even the honeybee sting was sorta pastoral, in a mind-numbing painful kinda way.

But enough of this insectival frivolity. It is almost bed time, that wonderful part of the day when little kids go to sleep and the rest of us stay up and party. Let me rephrase that....the teenagers stay up and play card games, and the poor tired parents pushing 45 and 50 (or so) have to head for bed, so they can save up the energy to visit "Old Country Buffet" on the morrow. (an event that assures Grandpa Baker will live in the hearts of his grandchildren forever)

It's tough, *burp* but just one of the sacrifices family members do for each other.

"Could someone please roll me back to the bedroom?......"

Tweet

Off Again

No, I am not referring to anyone's mental status.

Just a quick note to let people know that we are resuming our journey, this time toward points north. We have decided to take a slightly more leisurely route, and stay overnight two places before we greet my side of the family in Indiana on Sunday evening.

A small update on the pizza incident: after the highstrung and unpredictable women usurped authority and ordered pizza for themeselves on the Men's day out, the men actually ended up eating sandwiches instead of pizza on their day home.

I felt guilty.....for maybe a minute. Then I decided that there IS some justice in the world, after all.

Tweet