Fall Encounters of the First Kind

1) Last night was the first frost of the season

2) This morning was the first time I commenced my walk at 7:00 with the sun still below the horizon

3) Donned an orange, plastic "hunter's safety" vest for the first time on my walk. (see #2) Also, because I heard hunters shooting at geese while on my walk Saturday morning. I'll admit to feeling like a goose at times, but I make attempts not to look like one.

4) Watched the pale harvest moon set in the west, at break of day.

5) Got first haircut of fall. (OK, this is lame, but still permittable)

6) Gave Derek (13) chance, for the first time, to not make disparaging comments about my "hair being too short." He failed. Again.

7) Cool weather forced me to wear jeans out to town for the first time, in a long time. This means I'll soon be forced to stow my beloved capris pants away till spring. (Capris: the pants that make old ladies look good)

8)First day in five when it was not necessary to immediately pop two extra-strength Tylenol upon rising.

9) Nolan experiences a grammatical breakthrough. He was helping me make lunch by putting the "lids" on the peanut butter sandwiches. After the first one was finished, he placed it on the serving plate and declared, "One is done." After the second he stated, "Two is done." "No, " I corrected, "It's 'one is. Two, three and four are.'" "OK. Two are." We completed the rest in silence. When the counter was empty and the last sandwich on the plate, he said, "Now, zero is done. " Very quiet. "No, zero are done." I'll settle for the grammar victory. We can always work on math another day.

Tweet

This is a test. This is a test. Just had to see if it works!

"Night Lights" NOAA satellite photo on a clear night.

Tweet

The M.O.C.K. Reloaded

It has been some time since we have had any official doin's from the M.O.C.K. team. But have no fear, O collegiate ones, we were merely regrouping after a couple of hectic/fun-filled weeks.

Thainamu, our resident expert, was heavily involved in editing work. When she is not swamped with meticulous reading, she finds time to take advantage of the local cultural events. I am happy for her, though slightly jealous. Here in the "heartland," we seldom, if ever, have events that fall into the areas of "local," OR "cultural." At least, nothing that intersects with gravel roads.

MoM, after undergoing surgery, is home recuperating. Before that she was engaged in Fair activities, as well as the daily responsibilities of caring for small children and large animals. (or, maybe it was the other way 'round) We are encouraged to hear that she is making progress in getting back to some normalcy. Word has it that she no longer has the mobility of a mere monolith, but has progressed to bouncing boulder, sliding stone and who knows what. (blame Rachel, not me for this word picture) It goes without saying that we wish her all the best. (NICE people say it, anyway :-)

Your beloved "Ma" was desperately trying to stem the loss of brain cells over the weekend, due to the onslaught of migrainial activity. I don't often get these "killer" headaches, but they can be most annoying. If you notice any differences word in usage, misspelings, etc, please don't tell me, cause I--just--don't--wanna--know. I find my ignorance so much more blissful, that way.

On to M.O.C.K news!
If interested college students would be so good as to make known their birthdates, it is possible, just barely, that there could be some form of recognition. (a card, a present, cash, a new Corvette, etc.) Of course, it is obvious that summer and early fall birthdays have already expired. To this I can only say, "TOUGH COOKIES!" (actually, let it be known and we can work something out:-) Also, we would expect there to be no unfortunate repetitions, such as claiming to have a birthday every two months. We MOCKers were not born just yesterday! We were born....well.... for now, let's just say.....we were BORN.

Naturally, any submitted dates/names will be cross-referenced with the Bureau of Vital Statistics, to check for accuracy. There will also be cross-matching comparisons made with the National Terrorist Watch List. But, anyone passing these stringent measures could maybe, just MAYBE receive something in the mail. It is not beyond the impossible, anyway.

Box numbers could be helpful, too. If you are leery of passing on this information in such a public venue, please put your data on a piece of paper, fold it twice, and hold it tightly in clenched palm for 30 seconds, and then blow on it with minty fresh breath. (I cannot emphasize the importance of these last two steps) Then give said paper to a designated campus representative. (offspring of M.O.C.K. member)

Well, I think that about covers it. Oh yeah, I'm assigning MoM to handle the requests for cash, since it requires no heavy lifting. Thainamu will be in charge of vehicular gifts ranging from sub-compacts to quarter-ton pick-ups. (Sorry, but we had to draw the line somewhere)

May your birthdays be many,
May your wants be few,
and may your face, never be orange.

Tweet

A PIK Line

I am going to try to forget that I spent over TWO STINKING HOURS attempting to access what I thought would be simple information for this post. I was able to vent my frustrations at Loren, who, in his infinite wisdom, just sat in bed and looked at me agape. (and just a hint of amusement) I felt better immediately. Soon after that, I was seen driving down the road in a cloud of dust. But I can hardly be blamed for that, since the road is gravel and I had to go shopping. (Bargain update to come)

First, a medical update. At some time in the not too distant future, Loren will proceed to the next step in the transplant process. I thought I'd let folks know about it ahead of time, as we will both be away for most of a week.

When heart failure progresses to the point of being difficult to manage, the transplant candidate takes on a new medication, Milrinone.This is instituted through the use of a PIK line. (and here is where you will have to endure my unprofessional description) Putting in a PIK line means undergoing a procedure to install a tube into a vein that runs up the right arm. It is through this tube that the IV Milrinone will be administered directly to the heart. The line can also provide access for other drugs and be used for routine blood draws. (I think)

{update as of 10/01/04: Here is a place where a tad more info can be found concerning Milrinone therapy. In talking with the nurse practioner on 9/30/04 we learned that the end of the interveneous tube comes to rest in the right atrium. Talk about a drug being administered directly to the heart! The infusion port itself needs to be flushed from time to time to prevent infection. Also, the outside needs site care, which would probably be accomplished by Home Health Care. }

Loren will have to wear something similar to a fanny-pack which will hold a cartridge of the med, which he can then exchange for another as it runs out. This IV drug is the stepping stone that moves him up to 1b status on the transplant list. Within, say, a nine month period of this happening, he will likely be called in for transplant. Possibly much sooner.

There are some risks associated with this new drug. It can cause heart arrhythmias. That is why hospitalization is required when starting on this medication. And, because of the potential for rhythm irregularities, patients have a pacemaker installed before returning home. Loren, having already enjoyed the "pleasures" of this device, can forgo that, at least. But, he needs to be closely monitored, probably for a week. Perhaps not all of that spent in the hospital. I am relying now, on information the nurse passed on to us. People at Mayo are extremely helpful. Would that their website were half so. (It's OK. I'm not that mad anymore. Really)

Because of it's side effects, Milrinone, also known as Primacor, is not recommended for long-term use. That is probably why it raises one's transplant status. Supposedly, it will make Loren feel better. A person being considered for transplant cannot be in such a deteriorated condition that their chances of surviving the operation would be compromised. That is why they evaluate the entire body before accepting a candidate, even psychologically. The medical team cannot be taking extraordinary measures on behalf of someone who has other significant physical issues, or does not have a strong will to live.

If I were to hazard a guess, I would say that the transition to this "round the clock" IV drug will take place sometime in the next two months. Hopefully, I have not spoken in ignorance on topics I am just becoming acquainted with myself. Enough of that, for now.
__________________________

There is nothing quite so satisfying for a gal as to go shopping and find a bargain or two. It is akin to the thrill of battle. A winning battle. As well as getting the usual boring new stuff at Walmart and the grocery store, I dropped by Goodwill again this afternoon. :-) I picked up a "new" floor lamp for only 3 bucks. And hey, it only wobbles a little bit. It almost matches the other one I purchased for 2 dollars on a previous foray. Then I found several very nice paperbacks, the last two in the LOTR series. These are desperately needed as the kids have practically worn the first TWO sets to a frazzle with their voracious reading habits. Other books acquired shall remain nameless, as they are being held for someone's birthday.

Speaking of presents,* I have very nearly accomplished my goal of purchasing all Christmas and birthday presents up through December. Trevor's birthday isn't until February and as everyone knows, it takes very little to make a child that age happy. He hasn't had time to become jaded and morose. Not quite.

I dropped off the all important annual family pictures to be developed. The hard part will be choosing the picture with the least amount of eye closure. (At least, that's what I tell everyone. The REAL criteria is: which one is the most flattering to ME?) Then it is back to the Walmart drop box, to be duplicated over a hundred times for their cheapo (but acceptable) Christmas photo/card offer. Now, if only I can get the Christmas letter completed early, I will check yet another "to do" item off my pre-transplant list.

*Chocolate makes a better gift than those little porcelain knick-knacks. Chocolate never needs dusting.
(365 Reasons to Eat Chocolate August 12)

Tweet

Ode to a Migraine

(can be sung to "Master of the House," from "Les Misérables")

Fuzzy-ended thoughts,
Muddle-minded brain.
Take a couple Tylenol to ease the pain.

Pounding in the head,
Just behind the eye.
All the lovely plans I've made have gone a-wry.

(refrain)
What's that dizzy, queasy feeling?
Won't somebody please ex-plain?
Surely not the flu? No no, it's just another migraine.

Go about your work,
Try to do your best.
Wishing you could crawl in bed and get some rest.

Parcel out your strength,
Try to make it last.
And above all else don't dare to move too fast.

(refrain)
What's that dizzy, queasy feeling?
Won't somebody please ex-plain?
Surely not the flu? No no, it's just another migraine.



*swollows pills and stumbles (SLOW-LY) off*

Tweet

In Which We Get All Sauced

No, not that kind of sauced. I mean APPLEsauce. :-)

We put up 60 and a half more quarts today. With the 39 from Wednesday, that makes as close to 100 as you can get. Started at 11:00 (I was cruel and made the kids do most of their school) and I just finished washing the last pan around 9 pm. I am a tired little girl. Had to go rummaging for containers to put the stuff in. Finally ended up with two ice cream buckets for the last 10 quarts. I only HOPE I can find space in the freezer. I guess we'll be eating a lot of fresh apples.

Maybe I could sell some on Ebay.....

Tweet

T.S. Eliot Could Have Started Like This

We went to the library today. Two, actually. Two libraries, one and a half hours total driving time, and quick stops at two stores. Took a total of three and a half hours. Not bad, with seven children in tow. Course, most of them take care of themselves. Loren was planning to go along, but got rather tired and opted to remain home. Carolyn, (9) who had been complaining that library trips were "boring," was relieved to be able to stay home and play nurse. When I left them, Loren was showing her how the cell phone worked, explaining what "911" meant, and other necessities.

What with all the literary activity of late, I'm starting to feel a little inspired. Maybe I should make a stab at some poetry.

"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet, though
the pounds will accrue.

Accruement reminds me of getting rich, too,
And that's an endeavor I wouldn't pooh-pooh.
"Pooh" is the name of a goofy old bear,
Who's fluffy and furry and far from contraire.

Contrary people are hard to endure,
I try to be patient and kind and demure.
"Da" murmur of rivulets and rivers and streams,
Is like unto that when bad poetry screams. "

(Written by "Ma,"
Inspired by B.J.)

That's enough for one session. Have to rest the ol' noggin. But don't worry, there's plenty more where that came from. And Sharon, if you do get a poetry club organized on campus, please feel free to use any of my works. Free of charge. (no, no, don't thank me)

In closing, I would like to dedicate this next to my oldest daughter, Ardith, in honor of her "favorite" vegetable: 365 Reasons to Eat Chocolate September 23

"For every candy bar we eat, there is a lima bean that will go unconsumed."

Tweet

The Butcher, The Baker, The Applesauce Makers

We celebrated the first day of Fall by putting down the academics and putting up applesauce. (39 qts) Managed to work our way through a large box, approximately one and a half bushels. I estimate we have the equivalent of at least five more bushels left. :-( It took a while to get our bearings, figure out the work assignments, etc. Two kids halving, two kids coring, and two kids slicing. I washed apples, tended the stove, and ran the cooked apples through the sieve. They worked furiously so as to get ahead of me. "Break time! Break time!"

Had to stop production so I could take Loren to an eye doctor appointment. He gets his new specs in a week. Then it was back home and back to work. The kids kept one eye on their knives and one eye on the clock, managing to finish by 5:00, which is coincidentally the start time for "The Andy Griffith Show." I completed my end of things, including washing a gazillon bowls, pans and utensils by 6:30. In the next half hour I was able to sweep and mop the floor AND fix supper. How was this accomplished, you ask? Through the miracle of instant mashed potatoes, instant stuffing mix, and almost instant green beans from a can. It's part of my "I'm desperate and I don't care WHAT people think MEAL PLAN."

Well, I am happy to report that we all survived the day, and EVERYONE managed to help out in one way or another. Nolan got to ladle applesauce into containers, and even Trevor offered moral support. He came up to the table clutching his "cricket of the day." (Most every day he comes inside with a live cricket carefully entrapped in his grubby fingers. Once, he brought in a live cicada, only to have his heart broken when Nolan swiped it and set it free outdoors like the good little boy he is.)

Anyway, Trevor is standing close by, watching and holding this cricket. (I think he had pulled off one of the legs, the ol' hobbling effect) Suddenly, there was a "CRASH" as a large aluminum bowl fell to the floor. I was thankful it was empty, and then I noticed that so were both of Trevor's hands." Trevor! Where is that cricket!" I looked on the floor, I looked at his hands, and I looked at the large bowls filled with freshly made applesauce. Opaque applesauce.

So, if a cricket falls into the applesauce, and no one sees it, is it still there?

Bon appétit.

Tweet

Church Woes

No, no, nothing is wrong, but, attending church can be hazardous to your health.

Trevor woke up this morning with a runny nose and cough. (Sun to Tues, the classic amount of time for a bug to take hold) Actually, first Trevor woke up Jason around 1 and was promptly tucked back into bed. Then he wandered over to our room just after 4 and so I took him back to his bed. Then he woke Jason up a-GAIN, but it was almost time to get up so Jason let him snuggle up beside him in the top bunk. How many 16 year old guys would put up with that? Trevor is very attached to his "bro." Makes it handy for me. :-) But I guess we know who the next one will be to get sick. Let's see, 10 people in the house, one cold virus, I'd say, oh, about 14-18 days. :-(

This is a prime example of why Loren, and possibly ALL of us, will not be attending church for MONTHS following his transplant. And we may not be able to have people into the house for some time either. (Oh, I forgot, we hardly ever do NOW) Well, we'll traverse that gantry when we stumble upon it.

Loren endured a dental cleaning with his usual stoicism. I took advantage of this time to do some shopping and stock up on chocolate. Just in time too, for my vision was beginning to cloud over..... With a new 12 pack of diet cherry coke, (thank you, Barb and Terry) and my chocolate reinforcements, I feel sufficiently prepared to march bravely into the future.

365 Reasons to Eat Chocolate: September 21
"Deciding to eat chocolate is an act of empowerment. Be strong."

Tweet

Odd and Ends and Apples

The kids picked apples today. Lots and lots of apples. It was supposed to be an off year. The trees bear prolifically every other year, and last fall was a bumper crop. But there are loads again for the second year in a row. What this portends, I do not know. Probably it is testimony to some very clever pruning back in February by "the MA."

The first warm spell in February is when apple trees should be pruned. I learned this from overhearing a conversation by one of Loren's roommates during his hospitalization back in 95. This is the time when I usually prune the raspberries, as well. My methods for both are, "Hack a little, Saw a little, Hack a little, Saw a little, Chop, Chop, Chop, Whack a little more, off the end." (à la Meredith Wilson) I have vivid memories of pruning apple branches the week before Trevor was born. One of the easiest births I have ever had. And yes, I was up in the trees, for the pruning, not the birth. Well, enough of horticultural nostalgia.

Nolanisms: Trevor (2) was playing with Legos this morning, under the watchful tutelage of Nolan, who is five. I heard "older brother" giving a careful admonition to solemn Trevor, whose visage exuded pacifism, "If you hit me, you'll cry and get in trouble." Ohhhh-Kay.
That afternoon, Nolan put forth his favorite query, "Mommy, what time is it?" "2:30." "Oh. I thought it was 3:20. Nolan wonders about this." (??) I think he was remembering how Elmo talks on "Sesame Street." I think.

Loren was supposed to go to the dentist this afternoon, but they called and asked to have it changed to tomorrow. Well, what could I say? I had planned to do some grocery shopping. But we did have enough milk and juice to last another day. However, my supply of Dove's was dwindling at an alarming rate. But somehow I just couldn't bring myself to say, "I'm sorry, it is out of the question. The chocolate situation is critical!" I guess I can wait one more day. I guess.

Apples for supper tonight. I used some of the windfall apples to make a quadruple batch of apple crisp. That, and cold milk will serve the basis of the meal. I don't know if that conforms to the food pyramid, hexagon, or whatever it is "they" are promoting these days. But I spent 40 minutes peeling apples, and judging by the smell emanating from the oven, "dinner is served."

Tweet

Preparing for Winter

Loren and Jason are in the midst of installing a new storm door. Or I should say, it started out with those two. Now Kendra has been engaged to hold the door steady while just under a million screws are drilled to hold it in place. Loren has affixed himself to the lawn so as to have a better view for his main task, supervising. It's turning out to be somewhat of a pain, but you can't beat it for life experience for the kids. It'll prepare them for college.

I picked today to venture into the addition for some much needed de-cluttering. Nothing like cleaning to boost one's self esteem. But that wasn't why I did it. If we're going to pick apples next week, we have got to have something to put them in. I managed to free up five or six boxes from the items stacked out there when the relatives came to paint and redo our kitchen et al. That is how it goes around here. In order to accomplish one job, first comes this, THIS and THIS before you get to do what you really want.

I ran across some bits of nostalgia. There were leftover wedding invitations and programs of the "big event." I think I'll just hang on to those for a while. After all, it's only been 23 years. Besides, they may be worth LOTS of money someday if Terry Julien becomes a renowned artist. He did the artwork for both items. (uh, Terry, did we ever pay you for that?) He was a year or two ahead of me in school, and now, his younger sister teaches Sharon's French class at Grace College. Ah, what a chain of life. What a circle of continuance. What idiots the people who make up stuff like that.

Now that Jason has so much experience, I think I'll "borrow" him to put up some new curtain rods. After that, he can install the new pull shades I have yet to order. Once this is accomplished the living room will essentially be finished. No more splotched walls where the paint had flaked off. No more "window treatments" made from ugly, cheapo Walmart sheets. And most importantly, once the shades are in place, no more glare on the TV. With the cold weather approaching let's make sure all the really important stuff is ready.

365 Reasons To Eat Chocolate, September 1 "Winter is coming. You'll need an extra layer of fat to survive the cold."

Tweet

Anonymous comments

We have changed this blog to allow "Anonymous" comments. We would like to know who is writing the comments however and would appreciate your name in the comment.

You should know that if you comment as anonymous you will not be able to delete that comment later, though Becky or I can if you ask.

We will monitor the status of this change and revert back (to "Registered User" comments only) if problems arise as a result.

We trust this change will encourage more of our readers to respond without having to register at yet another web site.

Tweet

Makeover Madness

So, it is break-time between appointments at Mayo. Loren is snoozing on a sun-drenched couch and I and my crossword puzzles are comfortably settled in a chair. I glance at the magazine table beside me and see, "Parents," lying there.

Hmmm, it's been awhile since I'd seen a copy. Might as well check it out and see what I'm doing wrong now. "Twelve Scarey Hazards Parents Miss..." Yep, I have regularly transgressed 9 of the 12. And yet, my children continue to survive. What's up with that?

But the most interesting article by far was, "Extreme Makeovers for New Moms!"

It seems that Nicole and Stephanie, cousins, had both had babies and were now looking for ways to update their appearance.

"Parents" Magazine Cosmetic Artist: "To make her eyes *pop*, we used a copper brown shimmer near the outer corners."
Ma Hoyt's Makeup Hint: mimicking the Lincoln penny aside, I found that the crucial eye problem was keeping them open after losing extraordinary amounts of sleep. Toothpicks propped under each eyelid can work wonders.
"Parents" Magazine Cosmetic Artist: "For those dark circles under the eyes, concealer is crucial."
Ma Hoyt's Makeup Hint: Concealer, finally something practical. But, don't give me any of this "mamby pamby" stuff for under the eyes. When you've got a concealer that hides the ENTIRE face, then we'll talk. (That, and the whole shebang has to take five minutes or less)

So much for makeup, now for the CLOTHES.

Apparently Nicole has to return to work and make a good impression. She acquires:
Gap rose cardigan ($44);
Benetton wide-leg plaid pants ($109);
Redfish Designs silk scarf ($24);
Helen Welsh Rhinestone pin ($34);
Brahmin LeatherWorks croc-embossed purse ($350);
Nine West leather pumps ($69); "Ka-CHING!!" ($630)

And that was just one outfit. But what I really want to know, is where did they find that croc to do the embossing work? How did he manage it with those claws and everything? And, most importantly, was this accomplished in a croc sweat shop, or what? (where is PETA when you really need them?)

And now we come to Stephanie, who must be lauded since she is not returning to work.
"Stephanie's Sensational stay-at-home style":
Benetton hot pink quilted jacket ($149);
Gap pink-checked buttondown ($44);
Old Navy lace-up canvas sneakers ($19.50);
Coach multicolored suede tote ($398); "Ka-CHING!!" ($610.50)

That last item defies all reason. The suede but silly bag probably costs more than the kid's carseat. Maybe she can use it to carry his little Gucci pacifier. I have a suggestion for Stephanie: "Honey, get a job! You're gonna need it to pay for all that *Sensational Stay-at-Home Style.*"

Well, I guess that's as close to a "rant" as I have come. Personally, I would love to take these ladies out to some of my favorite Goodwill stores. You can get name brands, even designer clothes. (and it helps to be willing to wear something 2 or 3 sizes too large)

Personally, I plan to buy stock in purses and totes.

Tweet

Tender Mercies and Moments

If it's Thursday, it must be Mayo Clinic.

We don't often visit Iowa City and Rochester within days of each other, but this week was an exception. Loren's checkup on Tuesday was good, as was the one today. The Mayo visit was in regard to his continuing fatigue, and it was decided that he is still recuperating from the operation. Loren's "numbers" had changed slightly for the better, which means there were no warning flags for the doctors. Therefore, the next step in the transplant process (24 hour IV) can safely be put on hold. For now. Loren's ejection fraction stands at 27%, up from as low as 20% earlier this year. These numbers tend to fluctuate, and "the numbers" also include bloodwork results, which are decent at the moment.

I shall have a separate post to deal with an amusing article I read in a waiting room, but for now, a peek or two at bright moments that pass all too quickly:

When Loren and I are off visiting our medical friends, I try to call home and check on the kids at least twice per day. This morning I talked to Jason and asked him how things were going. "OK, though, Nolan has been a little ornery." (like, this is new) "Put him on the phone" (waits....) "Yeesssss?" comes the five-year-old's tentative greeting. I can just see his apologetic smile, hear his nervous giggle and literally feel the remorse oozing over the phone. "Now Nolan, .......(proceed to give loving and hopefully firm admonitions to obey his elders, followed by....) "Okay." (full of remorseful resignation) "Now, put your brother back on the phone......" Really, Nolan is such a funny little bug.

As we headed for the cafeteria, we passed through a large lobby where sits a grand piano. Various volunteers come by from time to time and play. Today's lady was one who always seems to get a crowd to sing for her. I have heard a rollicking version of "Roll Out the Barrel," in times past. Today, her selections were from the "Sound of Music." Even while eating, we could still hear a few faint strains. As we headed back into the lobby she was just finishing up with "Do, A Deer...." Two little kids in wheelchairs were right up in front, singing with all their might. Lots of adults encircled, watching, smiling, singing, and perhaps wiping a few eyes. It was a precious sight. A little joy amidst the heart of suffering. We head toward the elevators and "When Irish Eyes are Smiling," is quickly picked up by a host of amateur singers. The ending goes up rather high and one fellow just sang out lustily for all he was worth in a loud finale. Truly, it made me smile.

The two and a half hour drive home often seems long, but ended in a most satisfying way. Our song, "And I Love You So," came on the radio. I prefer the way Don McLean sings it, but Perry Como does an admirable job too. Almost home, the sun heading for the horizon, and these lyrics to linger over:

And I Love You So
Words & Music by Don McLean


And I love you so
The people ask me how
How I've lived till now
I tell them I don't know

I guess they understand
How lonely life has been
But life began again
The day you took my hand

And yes, I know how lonely life can be
The shadows follow me
And the night won't set me free
But I don't let the evening get me down
Now that you're around me

And you love me too
Your thoughts are just for me
You set my spirit free
I'm happy that you do

The book of life is brief
And once a page is read
All but love is dead
That is my belief

And yes, I know how lonely life can be
The shadows follow me
And the night won't set me free
But I don't let the evening get me down
Now that you're around me

And I love you so
The people ask me how
How I've lived till now
I tell them I don't know

Tweet

Iowa City Update

Loren and I made a trip to Iowa City today for his 3 month checkup with the electrophysiologist. This is the doctor who implanted Loren's very first defibrillator back in '95 and the two subsequent ones in later years. We like Doctor H. a LOT and are glad "The Mayonnaise Guys," (as Doc H respectfully refers to them) are agreeable we can still doctor with him. I didn't tell too many people, but I also had an appointment to get my heart checked. Not for any particular reason, other than to satisfy a husband who likes to worry about me. I checked out just fine. In fact, Doc H. said I had the heart of a 25 year old, and should I ever enter the Olympics, I would be certain to medal. He suggested I not do this, due to my family obligations, or, at least not until I am well into my 50's, when I would most likely have to settle for silver instead of gold. (this paragraph may contain one or more exaggerations)

Loren checked out pretty well, too. What he thought had been an "episode" apparently was not long enough or fast enough to trigger any therapies. This kind of news, while good, always befuddles Loren. He is one of those people who pores over his readouts trying to decipher and discern every nuance of every recorded PVC. Call me ignorant, but sometimes it is a blessing to not think too deeply on things.

On the way down I passed a sign I had not recalled seeing before: "Brandon - Home of Iowa's largest frying pan." As if being the home of the Eskimo Pie and the Maytag company weren't enough, now Iowa has a new claim to fame. I couldn't shake this image that popped into my mind. I pictured the Mayor calling all the wizened old grannies to a meeting and exhorting, "Now ladies, I don't care if those iron skillets have been in your family for generations, your town needs this sacrifice. This is just the thing that could put our little burg on the map. " And this is where the grumbling grannies all throw their frying pans into the huge iron smelter that has been trucked in from Chicago for the purpose of making one honkin' big egg scrambler. Progress, why does it always have to hurt the little people?
_______________________________________

365 Reasons to Eat Chocolate September 14
"Tell people you are working as a consultant for a chocolate company, and your chocolate consumption is actually research."

(some of us have been in research for a long, long time)
_______________________________________

M.O.C.K. Members Alert!
We have a plea for help concerning the food situation at LU. It is time for action! I say we start a feasibility study. MoM, since it is your daughter, it seems only appropriate that you head up this committee. Linda will be your first lieutenant, which, as everyone knows, will probably be stuck with all the work :-) This feasibility study should include but not be limited to:
-discussing ways to "encourage" (non-violently, of course) more palatable options in the main dining hall, SAGA.
-determine reason for disparate food quality between Letourneau and Grace. Grace has a decent reputation despite utilizing the same food service company as LU.

I will be engaged in the strenuous task of moral support. (No pressure, ladies, Take a whole day if you need to.)

Tweet

Chocolate Rules

I received a lovely little bag in church yesterday, filled with delectable edibles. It came from our pastor's family, which means, not only do they pray for me, they also give me chocolate. Follows an itemized list:
- 1 six ounce bar of Hershey's Dark Chocolate
- 1 small package mini Hershey's Kisses
- 1 small package Raisinettes (sorry, but I had to give these to Loren. He likes them, and in my opinion, chocolate-covered raisins are an oxymoron. I think it goes back to being a little kid and my brothers telling me they were really chocolate covered ants. To my way of thinking, raisins are good for Cinnamon Bagels and Raisin Cream Pie, and that's about all.)
- 1 package York Swoops, which are basically chocolates shaped like potato chips
- 1 package Dove's Dark Chocolates :-) :-) (this was truly Providential, since I was practically out. When you are out of Dove's chocolates AND diet cherry Coke, it is a dark day, indeed)
- 1 small box of 8 fancy chocolates, which I gave to the kids, proving I am not completely void of noble gestures
- A spiral flip notepad entitled: 365 Reasons to Eat Chocolate
September 8th entry: "Gaining knowledge is an important part of living. So, no matter where you are, try a new kind of chocolate."

Now, let's all go out there and make it an educational day.

Tweet

While Mowing......

So, I had begun mowing a LARGE section and I was just making a decent dent in it, when out walks Carolyn. "Mommy, Nolan is lying on the couch, with his head off the seat cushion, and his face is turning purple!" (Hmm, what to do, what to do. Is this a serious crisis? After all, she walked out here, she didn't run. --mower handle still held in the "on" position--hmmmm) "Well, is he awake?" "Yes." "Ok, then, he's just being ornery. He'll get up soon." (I hope)

It was sooooo, hot for mowing yesterday. Either that, or I am getting old. But I determined I would not stop until the allotted section was completed. No drinks, no sitting down to rest, (it's hard to get up again) and positively no going into the house where some little tyke might see me and suddenly remember he wants his Mummy. Only two brief pauses to fill up the gas tank. By the time I got out to the apple trees I was draggin' and dreamin' of diet cherry Cokes. It's quite possible I was beginning to hallucinate. The mower ran over an apple in the grass, sliced off a small bit, and boy, that apple started lookin' pret-ty attractive. I reached down and rubbed the dusty pomme off on my shorts. "Crunch!" Oh, baby, did that ever taste good! Sweet nectar to parched lips and a dry throat. Honestly, I don't think I have ever tasted a sweeter apple. So what if there were still a few clippings on it? Just good, clean grass, is all. Yes, perhaps due to extreme need, that was by far, the best apple I have eaten.

I sometimes wonder if chocolate would taste even better if I denied myself for, oh, say, a month or so. (pauses to consider) Nope. There are some risks that are just not worth taking. Too many people depend on me :-)
________________________

M.O.C.K Update:

It has been suggested that we manifest our great care and concern for the collegiates by phoning them on Saturday mornings. Personally, I think this is a FINE idea. I am usually up by 6:30. No, no, on second thought, I am up so early because I have to go on my walk. Hmmm. This is especially vital on Saturdays so that I can return and have 3 or 4 cinnamon rolls at breakfast. Not sure we can accommodate said request. We will table it for now, but could bring it up for further discussion at a later date.

I have a suggestion for our club flower/plant: Nettle. It may not be all that pretty, but you just can't beat the symbolism. Also had some thoughts as to official club song: "Is You Is, Or Is You Ain't My Baby?" Well, now, whaddya think? Feel free to put forth more suggestions. We're lookin' for lotsa input, here. After all, I don't want to run the whole show myself. (well, maybe just most of it....)

Also, there has been some thought (I won't say who) as to a small branch being formed called the "eMOCKS," which stands for "evil Mothers Of College Kids." This is probably not practical, since the other two ladies really sound quite nice, and, I don't want to be the only one who has to wear a cumbersome furry suit (mandatory eMOCK attire) and swing from vines in old growth forests. Probably just fall and break my hip or somethin'.

I guess that about wraps it up for this session.

"May the retorts be with you."

Tweet

While Walking......

I have these amusing little encounters with the local animal life while I take my morning walks.

It is not uncommon to scare up a grouse or two from the ditch. And pheasant are even more abundant. Pheasants, by the way, have to be just about the stupidest birds alive. They have extremely small heads, indicative of their limited powers of intuitive reasoning. You can be approaching one in a vehicle. The nearly witless bird crouches at the edge of the road, facing the ditch, and then, just as you come close, they fly up and turn INTO the path of one's car. But when walking, they mostly fly off over the fields.

There is a particular small, wooden bridge that I cross each day. You'd think the pigeons that roost under it would know that I am coming, but they come flapping out in breathless fear almost every morning. If I carried a gun they would have been history months ago. And, it is about this place each day that I often get a whiff of skunk. This always makes me just a "leetle" bit nervous, and I usually move to the center of the road. I figure you have more escape options that way.

Over the rise and on to the sheep pasture. This is where things get really fun. Sheep are the most weakminded creatures I have come in contact with. The first time I walked past they started raising their heads and shifting their feet nervously. Suddenly, one of them sounds the cry of alarm and they are off, tearing across the field and bleating madly. "Baaaa, baaaaa! What is that coming down the road?!" "Baaaaaa, baaaaa, I don't know. We're just stupid sheep! Let's run!" "Baaaa, baaaa, what are we running for?!" "Baaaaa, baaaaa, I don't know. Let's all just run and be stupid together!! Baaaaaa! BAAAAAAAA!!"

They have finally become so used to me that they usually just trot silently to the other side when I come. And today- today they just calmly nibbled away. An occasional head looked up, but they remained grazing in peace. You had to admire their self-control.

I couldn't glory in their accomplishments too long, for suddenly I was accosted by a rather strong skunky odor. Whoa! This is uncharacteristic of this gravel stretch. (moves to center of road, begins regular but apprehensive peripheral scanning) Enemy remained unseen. Nothing happened, THIS time. But, if ever you don't hear from me for a couple days, you will know I have been taken to a detox center.

Turning third corner, now, and coming up on "cow country." I always have this temptation when walking by them to give a loud "Moo," in hopes of eliciting some return "speech." (not unlike traveling as a kid and trying to get the trucker behind to give a toot on the airhorn) Really, though, it is quite unnerving to stride by and have them completely stop what they are doing, raise their heads and follow every move you make, all the while mechanically chewing, chewing, chewing. (was that a malevolent flicker I saw in the black and white one's staring eyes?) One gets the impression that if you dared step over the fence and come close to a calf, they would have no compunction whatsoever in methodically clomping you to a pulp. "What WAS that, Mildred?" "I don't know Elsie, but it's gone now. Just go back to your clover, dear." (Field of Dreams: What comes here, stays here. "henc, henc, moo, snort")

Rounding last turn and heading for home. I hear the honk of geese and pull off my earphones. A V of fifty geese flies directly overhead. Beautiful. What are the odds of our intersecting at precisely that right moment? Even more beautiful, that I survived that encounter "unscathed."

Tweet

Encore

So, the kid has napped, the bank, local grocery and pharmacy have been visited, the lawn has been mowed, (2 1/2 hours straight, *pant*) and spaghetti pie is in the oven. I'm finishing up my second diet cherry coke and thinkin' about cracking open a third. Now, where was I before I was so rudely deleted? (decides to skip boring part)

OK, People, LISTEN UP!! (man, I have always wanted to say that)

"MoM" and "Ma" have joined forces. And Linda, you have to join too. We are starting a club!. Yes, that's right. Mothers Of College Kids, or as we prefer to be known, M.O.C.K. Anyone who is a mom, blogs, and has or has had kids in college may join. We're gonna have a club song, a club flower, the works.

I have taken the liberty of drawing up an agenda for the first meeting. It goes as follows:
1) Discuss inventive ways to annoy/embarrass collegiates
2) Presentation of the paper: "Encouraging your collegiate with coniferous creations"
(we have pine trees on our property, so that was a natural)
There will also be a dramatic presentation of a newly released play:
"Potatoes. East or west, tons are best."
(performed by Ma Hoyt and her little spuds)

We will endeavor to be a shining beacon of hope and light to our far off/out sons and daughters. Even now, plans are in the works to contact professors. We would only be too glad to provide homey little anecdotes from the students' former lives. We have no doubt we could influence their very grades. Possibly for the better, but we'll include enough disclaimers to preclude any potential lawsuits, from anybody. We are even looking into the possibility of dropping in on class sometime with cupcakes and koolaid. Haven't worked out the logistics on that, but truly, we want to help out in whatever way we can.

Well, it is a lot to chew on. (collegiate fingernails come to mind) Much to be done. But do not fear. Never underestimate the power of the "Ma" factor. (be afraid, be very, very afraid)

I shall leave you with this political conundrum: Which is more idiotic? Not believing in John Kerry's Health Care Plan? or, believing in the veracity of "The Memos?" If you believe in one, but not the other, do they cancel each other out? or are you a double idiot?

(Ponders this while opening another can....)

Tweet

Aw Rats!

I was so close to being done with a post when "end program" popped up. (weeping)

Will try again after getting kid to nap, running errands, and mowing lawn. (girds up loins)

Tweet

Today

I hesitate, sometimes, to write too much of Loren's day to day struggles. Believe me, I don't tell half of what goes on. So many people look at Loren, and because they do not see him in a hospital bed on a ventilator, are given the impression that life is fairly decent for him, just kinda slow. True, he doesn't have to go to work, though he certainly tried very hard to keep that up as long as he could. I can still remember the days before his first cardiac arrest when he had accumulated over 11 years of perfect attendance. That means no sick days, not even being late one time. There were a few instances when he came down with symptoms of the "24 hour flu" at work. He would empty his stomach in a nearby trash can, finish out the day, and then come home and sleep. That is the kind of man he was back then, and I just want people to know that.

I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to not be allowed to drive for over three years. When the defibrillator fires, it is essentially treating another cardiac arrest. We thank God it is there, but he hates getting shocked so very much. It is a tremendously scary moment. Then, it is at least a six month wait to even consider driving again. That gives you a small idea of the activity of his arrhythmias these past years.

Heart failure means the heart isn't working sufficiently anymore. It is not just being "rundown." It is an all encompassing fatigue that makes him feel "he is about to die." The heart not pumping blood effectively manages to bring about undesirable effects on other organ systems too. And now, even though my college girls know this, I want to reiterate, that despite all this, their dad is still hanging in there. :-) Today, however, was not the best of days for him.

We went out to have his protime checked, and as he sat down in the lab, his heart sped up just a little. Not enough to get shocked, but possibly enough to get paced. (the device will attempt pacing therapies if the heart is between 113 and 205) We will find out on Tuesday, for he is scheduled for his 3 month checkup with the good Dr. H. in Iowa City. He will probably be nervous until then. Also, the protime turned out to be 1.2, which is rather low. On the clotty side. I'm certain that will mean more labwork in a week or less. Might mean a few other changes in plans over the next few days. That used to irritate me, but I am starting to mellow in my old age. When something happens nowadays, I automatically go into contingency mode and start planning meals the kids can make, take milk and juice inventory, etc.

Ok now, before everyone is weeping into their lattes, let us move on to other matters.

The children have definitely "gelled" as a group over the summer. There is slightly less bickering and more camaraderie. Jason(16) has just begun to teach computer programming to Melinda.(11) This was their idea. She is an apt pupil, and may encourage Derek(13) to pick up his pace in that area.

On the artistic front, Carolyn (9) and Ethan (7) have created a chess board, complete with game pieces, out of Legos. Really, it quite beautiful. We shall see how long it stays intact.

It is still nice enough to spend lots of time out of doors, and even on a school day, Kendra (15) can take some of her reading outside and watch Trevor the Wonder Boy as he hunts for crickets, cicadas and other forms of "bug" life.

Nolan, who is officially in Kindergarten this year, already knows how to count to 100. We may try him on some phonics soon. He loves looking at books, and learning to read could be a key to keeping him out of mischief.

Well, enough said for now. Hopefully, not too much. I am reminded of what Marilla said to Anne in the movie version of *Anne of Green Gables,* "To despair is to turn one's back on God." I encourage myself and others to do neither.

Tweet

The Good, the Bad and the Hubby

We'll start with the husband first. Loren is still feeling pretty low. There was one day, right after coming home, when he overdid it. He and Jason spent several hours messing about with computers and generally pretending he had not had a small organ removed from his person two days previously. Now, he is finding that his body is temporarily rebelling. Apparently there IS some use for the gall bladder. Food is just not "setting well" with Loren. He has only been down from the bedroom for an hour or two on each of the last three days. Supposedly, in about a month, the body learns to compensate and eating and digesting can approach normalcy again. Keep praying for this guy.
_______________________

The first day of school is over. Only 177 more to go.

I got a taste of how the day would go upon descending the stairway around 7. Usually, the whole house is quiet as I sneak out on my hour-long walk. This morning, there were two "eager beavers," Melinda (11) and Carolyn (9), just chomping at the bit. "Can we start arranging our notebooks? Pleeaaase?" (I just knew this would happen) "Well, " I tried to reason with them, "I thought I said we would do this after breakfast. I have to get my exercise. You don't want Mommy to get fat, grumpy and force you to eat oatmeal e-very SIN-GLE MORN-ING, do you?! (Well, those may not have been my ex-ACT words.) I got them started on a couple of things and headed out the door before anyone else could awaken. For the next hour it was just me, the cool, crisp air and the hot tunes of my favorite swing/big band station. :-)

I returned in fine fettle, peeled the boys out of bed and managed to coax everyone to a heartwarming breakfast of cold cereal. I thought it would be good to fortify myself with a cinnamon raisin bagel, in addition to the usual cheese omelet and Kashi cereal. (you can really work up an appetite walking four miles) I sat at my computer, taking a quick glance at the news sites and printing off instructions for, "Teaching Left-Handers to Write." (for Ethan) That enthusiastic 2nd grader was watching my every bite and asking hopefully, "Almost done?"
(sigh) "Ok, ok."

We made it through the morning, with abbreviated subjects and no more than three people talking to me at one time. I think everyone is settled on their requirements for the school year. I was pleased to discover that despite my dashed intentions of listening to Ethan read aloud over the summer, he had not forgotten much at all. Those two hospitalizations and many trips to Rochester may have altered my plans, but God kept important progress intact, all the same.

The quote of the day occurred while preparing to go shopping. Jason headed for the shower as Carolyn exhibited surprise that one would have to bathe more than once or twice per week. "That's what happens as you get older," I told her. "You have to take more showers." "Boy," she replied, "I can't wait 'til I get younger!"

There are daily rewards to this parenting business.

We may live out in the country, but we're only 25 minutes from the closest Wal-Mart, so I know we can't be too far from civilization. Today's visit to the store brought cries of delight. Smack dab in the front, were clearance carts containing goggles and scuba tubes, at 75 % off! Is this a great country, or what? The younger boys had been looking for these items for weeks. "Do you think you can keep these intact until next summer when we go to the lake?" I asked doubtfully. "Oh yes, Mommy! Oh yes! We PROM-ise!" (Hmmph. I've heard that before.) Well, if nothing else, they can examine the scum on the side of the bathtub.

So, we bought four sets. It's hard to resist the enthusiam of youth. After all, these guys are looking forward to school tomorrow.

Tweet

Last of the Summer Wine, Metaphorically Speaking

Labor Day. The last day of freedom before school starts.

The kids were creating quite a ruckus in the computer room this morning with their multi-player game of X-Pilot. Screams of glee and howls of protest as pilot after pilot bit the dust. "I need more deflector shields!" You would have thought James T. Kirk was back on the bridge of the Enterprise. "Live it up, while you can, guys, " I cajoled on my way to the laundry. "School starts tomorrow." (smirk, smirk) Ah, school. That special time of year when restricted computer game time goes into effect

I am happy to report that I spent my time more profitably, organizing all the kids' books for school. I had to pull out each student's texts from the carefully arranged sections of Math, English, etc. and give them each their own little space. But first I left them out in nice tall stacks where the kids could wander in and exclaim, "I have to do all that?!" "Mmm, yes, except for the Spanish I forgot to tell you about." Man, what a feeling of power.

In the best tradition of Labor Day, we managed to work in a small cookout around 1 :30. This was followed by a surprise viewing of episode IV of Star Wars. I don't let the kids watch it too often, so they were somewhat shocked when I acquiesced to their joking query. Every condemned child deserves one last day of fun, I always say.

Tomorrow will be half actual schoolwork, half orientation activities. The filing away of last year's work, the filling of notebooks with fresh, clean paper, and the most important decision: which color tab to use for which subject in their three ring binders. Hopefully, I can get them all started on their various math books while I go round, one by one and help figure out how many pages per subject per day. The goal is to finish before "The Lone Ranger," which comes on at 5 now, instead of 4. (goody! and extra hour for academics!) Oh yes, somewhere in there I have to get groceries. A two and a half hour job, at best. Frozen pizza is starting to look pretty good for supper.

Well, between curriculum organization and blogging I have worked my way through "The Three Tenors Live" not one, not two, but three whole times. Even the little kids are starting to hum excerpts. I should probably give these opera singers a rest and the kids some supper. (wonders what would happen if played "Songs of the Humpback Whale.")

Ciao, for now.

Tweet

Trial Balloon

In thinking ahead to the time of Loren's transplant, I've been making mental and handwritten notes about what needs to be done.

The most important thing is to find someone to stay with the children during the three months Loren and I have to be up in Rochester after his operation. Three months, a whole season. I am going to miss birthdays, maybe a major holiday or two.

I had thought that perhaps I could trade off with some friends or relatives, but I am beginning to doubt the wisdom in that. I have been reading some patient transplant stories and it is becoming increasingly clear how much Loren is going to need me during that time.

I am just wondering if there is a niece or nephew out there who wants to be involved in short-term missionary work? Someone who does not have responsibility for young children. There is no particular pay involved, other than room and board. The room is private; you will only share it with the wireless equipment. :-) As to the board, well, I haven't quite figured out a few details such as bill paying, getting our mail, and yes, the aquiring of food. (there is government assistance involved, which complicates things) But that can be worked out.

I have wonderful plans. Plans to clean up assorted repositories of clutter. Plans to record stories on tape for the kids to play at night, in hopes that Trevor doesn't forget his own mummy. (sniff)
Plans to assign an older child to Nolan and to Ethan to assist them in Kindergarten and 2nd grade studies, respectively. Plans to secure neighbors to shuttle Jason and Kendra to different pre-college tests they need to take. Plans to order all birthday and Christmas presents within the next month, so something will be on hand even if I am not. Plans to......well, we'll see how much gets accomplished.

The main thing is to get someone lined up for the kids. A person who can come on fairly short notice. (interim help can always be arranged) And the kids can survive on their own for short periods. They do not need 24/7 supervision. But three months is a little long to be "home alone."

So there you have it. I am open to suggestions. But I feel it would be best if I am with Loren all the time. (might be able to get away for a few hours occasionally) I know his medical history and I don't want to miss anything. He knows he can just be his miserable self with me :-)

Think about it. Many thanks.

Tweet

God's Bounty

MMmmmmm, freshly picked raspberries over homemade shortcake for supper. Perhaps not as awe inspiring as "someone's" blueberry pancakes, but yummy just the same.

The apples are weighing down their branches. I know, for they gave me friendly thumps on the head, neck and back as I mowed around the trees. Soon it will be time to pick, and cull, and send a few of the best to the collegiates.

Morning walks are gorgeous this time of year. The sun comes up in a sort of red haze. A mist hangs over the fields and the ditch grasses are covered in heavy dew. The wild sunflowers are in bloom along the side of each gravel road, competing with towering ragweed. It may not be perfectly idyllic, but it's close.

I love living in the country.

Tweet

Quick Update

I'll take a few minutes (and a few cold draughts of diet cherry Coke) during this mowing break to give the latest lowdown on Loren.

He's still feeling somewhat punk from the surgery. Those four little "stab wounds," as the surgeon referred to them, are very slowly becoming less sore. Loren had to take some pain medication (the infamous oxycodone) but has now ditched that since it made him nauseous.

Coughing and hiccups are hazardous, but not altogether avoidable since he occasionally gets fluid in his lungs. And apparently, Loren falls into the 1% of patients taking Mexiletine that suffer from the side effect of hiccups. But they are not as bad as in May when he began that medication.

When I checked on him at 2, he had still not eaten his breakfast. But by now he's managed to get some food down, and hopefully, each day will see improvement as pertains to the recent surgery. Loren is sleeping much better than in the hospital, where touchy alarms go into beep mode if one so much as coughs, turns over or looks cross eyed. Brushing your teeth is a good way to test the alertness of the nurse.

All in all, Loren is doing OK. It has given him pause as to how he will feel "after they cut open my chest." "Don't worry, dear, they will give you lots of drugs. I'm gonna insist on it."

(this took slightly longer than expected since Trevor kept bringing lumps of play dough over so I could make him a snake. He carefully carried them back to the table where he promptly cut them to ribbons with a plastic knife)

For the kids, a slight setback: their beloved "Lone Ranger" is not on today, so I have given permission to test a new Abbot and Costello DVD. Hmmm, I may have to take a longer break than previously planned.....

Tweet

Braggin' on the Girls

I would like to take this opportunity to do a little braggin' on my two college girls. The term "female adults" might be more technically accurate, but they will always be my "girls," just as I will always be their "Ma." This is a role I have come to relish, especially now that I can pester and nag them through the medium of the computer.

Daughter number one, Ardith, has just begun her senior year at LeTourneau University. She is one of those rare people who has actually stuck with her first pick for major, Computer Science and Engineering. It is either that, or Computer Science In Engineering. I always get them confused, the first being with an emphasis on how to play sci-fi games in addition to your coursework, and the second being how to design sci-fi games in addition to your course work.

I was pleased with Ardith's choice of college since two of her cousins had graduated from LU and at least one has already distinguished himself by purchasing a nice set of wheels. The high ratio of guys to girls was also a real drawing card, but the thing that put it over the top in my mind was the spelling. Very Kerryesque, OOPS, I mean French, of course.

Well, now, seriously, she has found a good fit with LeTourneau. Loren and I are extremely happy that she is able to pursue her interests in computers. We look forward to the day when she has a high powered job and can start sending money our way.....excuse me, I'm getting off track again. Did I mention she works in the IT department? That stands for Information Technology, which I confess I only learned last year.

Ardith continues with her Honors Courses. She was chosen last fall to be a representative at Fall Fest, and though I'm not completely sure what that is, I do know it involved wearing a gown and getting her hair and nails done. I was very nearly hospitalized from shock. She never ceases to surprise me.

Loren stumbled onto her blog one day and we have enjoyed spying on her (and her cohorts) ever since. I only hope that after she attains wealth and fame, that she will still remember her humble beginnings, her humble family, and, above all, her extremely humble maman.

Daughter number two is Sharon, a sophomore at Grace College in Indiana. Since Loren and I both graduated from Grace, we feel a certain familiarity and ease with her being there. Sharon is a Foreign Language Major, studying French, German and Spanish. She is also fairly fluent in English, which remains a foreign language to all too many natural born Americans.

Sharon was self-taught in most of her foreign language work in high school, though she did receive some good tutoring and practice in speaking French from a neighbor. When Sharon arrived at Grace last year, she was able to test out of beginning French and move right to Intermediate. This year, she has tested out of Beginning Spanish and moves directly to Intermediate Español. This, along with Advanced French and Intermediate German would be more than enough to muddle my mind, but apparently not hers. (right, mine leepskin? {alt. sp.})

This year Sharon has obtained work in the library and language department. I guess it's a little more refined than last year's toil of "swabbing the deck," (mopping the kitchen) after every supper. And last night, I was informed by phone that # 2 has been selected as one of two reps to the student senate from the sophomore class. Dare I dream that someday, we may hope to see her addressing delegates from the national convention floor? If she does, I am confident that she won't giggle, like some we could mention.

Sharon will have to spend parts of two semesters studying overseas. Grace requires all students to have some "multi-cultural" experience, and foreign language students put in additional time abroad. LeTourneau does not require study abroad, because, as everyone knows, most of those techno-geeks already live in an alternate reality. Oh yes, lest I forget, Grace has better food.

Well, there you have it. Time for all good Republicans to watch the convention.

(any inadvertent inaccuracies will please be corrected by said offspring)

Tweet

The Gall Of It All

Loren and I are safely back home. The children are all in one piece. Therefore, the past two and a half days are considered a success.

I was hoping to be able to describe Loren's gall bladder surgery in great gory detail, but alas, there seems to be some silly rule concerning spouses in the operating room.

Originally, we were told that he would not be first on the docket for Tuesday's surgery list. So you can understand our dismay at discovering we had to report to the hospital at 5:45 a.m. It appears Loren was indeed top of the list. The disadvantage to this, of course, was my having to get up at 4:30. (sorta puts an 8:00 class into perspective, don't it?) The advantage was a vast selection of available parking spaces in the underground garage.

Much waiting, and many health history questions. The operation finally got underway (so I was told) at 8:38 a.m. Everything went very well, though Loren had to spend a little extra time in recovery due to a low core temperature. (the operating rooms are kept at 60 degrees)

Meanwhile, Pastor John had come up to keep me out of trouble and hopefully see Loren. The latter was not to be, however, since the whole process started later and lasted longer than expected. In the meantime, we conversed on many topics, solved many of the world's problems, and sketched out several sermon outlines for the coming months. (just kidding, of course. Now, if he had asked ...)

After surgery commences, the hospital shuttles family and friends off to the patient's room, except, they couldn't figure out where to put Loren. Pastor and I were taken to four different floors until they settled on the Intensive Care Unit where they had the proper heart monitoring equipment. (Loren has always been something of a problem :-) The room was not ready, though, so we were herded back to a special waiting room. It was then that I discovered I had left my cell phone five floors below. (sigh) Pastor John was good enough to fetch it for me. Finally, a chance to settle in, eat chocolate and discuss the burning topic of the day, "Libertarians: going to heaven or hell?"

At long last I got to see Loren and feed him ice chips while he gazed at me with that look, "Are you an angel, or what?" (this is my interpretation, ok? anybody got a problem with that? good.) He discovered he had a few sore places, four to be exact, and maybe this surgery business wasn't what it was cracked up to be. Some pain medication soon remedied that.

After I returned from an errand, Loren seemed more himself and said he had a present for me. In a small white box, resting on a pristine piece of white foam, lay two gallstones. Really, I was too moved for words. My contribution of birthing 10 children seemed rather pale in comparison. (five were over 9 pounds and another was 11 pounds, but who's keeping track?) Now I have to decide what to do with the little buggers. (gallstones, not kids) I could have them made into a bracelet, or necklace, or possibly inserted into the eyes of a cameo. Of course, the most logical thing would be matching earrings. But since they aren't the same size and my ears aren't pierced, I guess that option is out. I'll have to sleep on it. An important decision such as this cannot be rushed.

Well, TEMPUS FUGIT, and all that rot. I shall leave you with this lesser known Irish blessing:

"May the road rise to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. And may you never, ever be called an *economic girlie man.*"

Tweet