A few stormy notes

We had some fast moving thunderstorms move through the state in a long sweeping arch of redish redar.

Some hail and brief gusty winds....

....which knocked over the bird feeder.
The finch food compartment was smashed and two of the four hanger thingies are now kaput. (you can see one off to the left, another on the right was mostly broken off)

I found the little round hanging feeder over by the grain bins on the other side of the house.

Through it all, Rocky remains unperturbed...
...silently looking over his domain at the end of the day.

I will have a detailed prayer request tomorrow, but a quick nutshell before hitting the hay:

Alina Severs. Family is in our church. She is working down in Des Moines as a lobbyist.

Played Ultimate Frisbee on Thursday, slipped on damp grass and conked her head.

Concussion, short term memory loss. Does see some improvement, though what she remembers is what she is being told by her mom and sister.

Frustrating and worrisome.

Great Christian young lady, so please pray for her and I do thank you.

Now I must get to bed...still not feeling well from this silly virus and need my sleep.
 

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The Ma Side

 
It was only as he made his final approach to the bird feeder surrounded by mutant crows that Finchley realized his ACME Disappearing Cream was less than 100% effective...
 

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Question

1. Have you ever wondered if a letter that was sent overseas to a wrong address would be returned to the states?

2. And just how long would it take?

Answer #1--Yes.

Answer #2--60 days.

*makes note to resend another "Christmas" letter*

 

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The Days of Whine and Testing

I think I am allergic to life in general.

Or possibly just stress, motherhood or perimenopause. Anyway, all that sneezing and symptomal stuff last night has sorta passed for the moment, though it does seem to get reinvigorated when I get out of bed.

But seeing as it is hard to find convenient excuses for remaining prone during the daylight hours, I've decided to rise and stick a toe to the allergic waters, so to speak.

Thankfully, testing is over for another year :-)

*muchos cheeros*

Even Nolan did alright I think, though I've learned to raise my antennae when kids say, "It was easy." Sometimes this means they've done well, and sometimes this means they've done so badly they don't even know they've not done well.

Oh well.

After dropping them off I proceeded to the mall where I walked for ONE WHOLE HOUR! Yes, I'll just bet we got close to 4 miles on that excursion.

One of the best parts was observing some of the people getting ready to open up their respective shops. This day, there was a flurry of activity in the cellular phone kiosk. I mean, does it take FIVE GUYS to run one of those things?

I soon found out this was all preparatory to an important meeting over in the food court. The best part of my day was lapping these men four different times while they hashed out critical merchandising strategies over pastries and lattes. This is all the more significant when you realize that there are two levels to the mall, and each time I went past them meant I had also gone down to the lower level and back up the stairs again.

I tried very hard not to look smug.

Unlike yesterday, there was no sprinkler gushing water into the jewelry department of Gordman's, so I had to content myself with walking in a brisk but totally humble fashion.

All this exercise exuberance had it's toll, however. It was not long before ye olde ware woundes were acting up. My right leg was throbbing from nerve damage (I am a grande multipara, after all) and my left three toes were doing their usual "bones rubbing against each other" kinda thing, which indirectly led to...

Ma's Act of Stupidity For the Day: trying to start the car while the engine is running.

(Oh, did I forget to mention that, Loren?)

I had sunk into the luxurious leather seats (don't get too excited, it's a 12-year-old find on Ebay), turned on the car and much to my amazement, found the radio station I wanted actually came in.

I was taking a few sips of my AQUAFINA A L I V E WELLNESS WATER, and well....trying to decide if I felt a l i v e ....and pondering whether I should take a couple of Tylenol for my various pains...and then thinking I probably shouldn't, since I'd already taken some Excedrin Migraine that morning...and congratulating myself on remembering this crucial fact so I didn't overdose on something...PLUS, that crazy new/old car is so QUIET, that the usual engine-is-running noise is practically non-existent....(and let's not forget the radio was playing)...that I cranked the key and suddenly heard this annoying, "RRRRHHHEEEEEETTTT"....and then I promptly turned off the car.

(PLEASE tell me someone else out there has done this, too)

Luckily, there was a young mother with her daughter walking by just about then who had witnessed the entire thing, thereby preventing me from quietly driving off into the sunset.

She pulled her daughter back and waited for that-obviously-incompetent-and-mentally-deranged-old-lady-
in-an-old-lady-car to start up and drive unobtrusively away.

After that I went to Goodwill and bought two dresses, five tops, two capri pants and a backpack to go along with the books and movies I'd bought the day before.

I felt a lot better and the car behaved quite nicely all the way home, now that it knew who was boss.

But I'm still not certain whether I'm A L I V E.

 

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I Thig...

...by cobe iz cubbink bag...

"AAZ-ZZJJUUBBE"

*sniff*

 

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Rocky Returns!

 
 
After keeping out of sight yesterday, Rocky the Rock Dove returned to roost on the roof, thereby earning for himself a network folder of his very own.
 
 

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Loser Support Group

(leader) "OK...the meeting will now come to order. We have a new member with us tonight. Would you please stand and introduce yourself?"

"Hi. My name is 'Ma' and I'm a loser"

(everyone) "HI MA!"

"Welcome to our group, Ma. Why don't you tell us a little bit about why you are a loser."

"Well, this morning I had to take four of my children in to Cedar Falls for their yearly testing...this is the third year I've done it this way...and as in the previous two years, I got lost and couldn't find the place."

(everyone) "Los-er. Los-er..."

(leader) "ALRIGHT PEOPLE!...Sorry about that Ma. Go right ahead..."

"So, you'd think after having trouble two other years, I would have have this figured out. I even printed off a map from Mapquest...but...I don't know, it's in this area near a college, and once you make a wrong turn you have to go way around to get back...and...I'm glad I left a little early."

(leader) "That was good planning, anyway. you probably weren't that late, right?"

"Actually, I was later than I've ever been before. I made three complete circles of the area and finally had to stop and ask directions. By the time I arrived--30 minutes late--the parking lot was nearly empty and all the kids had been taken off to their classes. This was especially bad since my 2nd grader was testing for the first time, and I'd wanted to keep everything...uh....cool."

(everyone) "Los-er! Los-er!"

(leader) "I SAID 'NUFF! Now Ma, did everything work out in the end?"

"Well yeah, I think so...I guess we'll find out in a month..."

(leader) "There, you see? Not as bad as you thought. Here, have a chocolate..."

"Uhh...maybe I shouldn't. I was trying to lose weight...though, that sorta fizzled out and...I think I've gained back four pounds...*sob*..."

(everyone) "LOS-ER! LOS-ER! That, makes us WIN-NERS!"

(leader) "QUI-ET!! Now Ma, why don't you find something....er, something that you can do, and immerse yourself in that for a bit?"

"Yeah, I have to go clean the church anyway. I think I can handle that.

And at least it's...

("Los-er! Los-er!...")

...quiet."
 
 

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Ma's Thought for the Day

 
With due respect toward James Dobson, whom I appreciate and agree with in many (though not all) aspects of basic philosophy/world view/beliefs,

it is just possible that whether or not someone is a Christian is not first or even on my list of criteria in deciding whom to vote for.

And one more thing, as I'm sure Dr. Dobson would agree, only God knows what is in a man's heart.
 
 

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Ma's Newsy Nuggets

Hey ho, former Iowa governor Tom Vilsack has endorsed Hillary for president. Naturally, this is in NO WAY connected to her intention to do away with Vilsack's $400,000 campaign debt. (incurred during Hawkeye Tom's own brief but invisible run for president)

Youse jess gots ta luv dem politikers.
______________

World's tallest man finds bride. Nothing yet on who he will endorse for president, but word on the street has it that a nice little flock of sheep was recently shipped from New York...
______________

German Beard Championship!

What I want to know is...Shouldn't someone inform NOW about this blatantly sexist contest?
______________

In yard news, Rocky the Rock Dove has not been seen yet today. Moderate to heavy rains overnight could have had an impact in his mysterious disappearance. Also, hoards of small to moderate-sized children riding their bikes and uttering excitable yells are thought to have been a contributing factor.
 
 

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Life at Prairie Bridges

As an illustration of that whole cloud/silver lining business, my having forgotten to buy milk yesterday led to a run into town and an excellent excuse to stop by Prairie Bridges :-)

(I just need to get out once in a while to feel halfways alive and store up a few good vibes to keep me going till the next park visit)

Hmmm, looks like some water overran one of my trails...


That's ok.

I heard a flutter of wings, turned around and there was a Downy Woodpecker!


And then something moving in the water caught my eye...
...a beaver?

Too small. Must be a muskrat. I followed him along a convenient path beside the pond. I could have run faster than he swam, but I was trying to be very quiet, since I'd gotten to that spot by following a woodpecker from tree to tree...and walking right underneath the bird (who agreeably stayed put on its perch) I came to a little bridge...

...where Mister Musk popped into a hole under a bridge.
At least, that's what it sounded like.

Then, I quietly crept back down the lane to see the bird with the raspy sounding call...
...YES! It looks to be a Yellow Shafted (or Northern) Flicker :-)

Another bird in the same area, who's call had also led me along...
...a cardinal. This is the first time they've let me photograph them. Usually they just fly away.

Another angle, from underneath.


The day was overcast, so not the best time to snare captivating pics. I had to use all 36x of zoom power, just to get the cardinal and flicker within passable view.

The ever present geese. When they fly you can see the nice banding effect on the tail.


Geese remind me of politicians. Proud, loud and much enamored with their own importance. Strident and demanding, they leave a mess wherever they go.

They also like handouts.

Fun to watch occasionally, you wouldn't want them living next door to you.
___________

Welp, that's all for today's look at the park.

I'll have to remember to forget the milk more often.
 
 

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Name that bird!

Since he's still hangin' about, we may as well give this guy a name.

Personally, I lean toward "Scarface" or "Rocky," the last being a tribute to being clued in by my cousin Terry that this is in actuality, a Rock Dove.

Another good name might be "Columbo," after the TV detective, and also an allusion to his Latin name, columba livia.

Just so it's not sickeningly cute. I strongly feel this bird should be labeled with something a little intimidating.

A name he can be proud of.

So, as long as "Scarface" (or whatever) hangs around, we'll be giving regular updates on his behavior, grooming habits, etc.

TODAY'S BIRD UPDATE: seen strutting about Mr. Lupkes' driveway, probably picking up bits of gravel to aid in digestion. (I learned that from reading "Burgess Bird Book for Children," as a child)

Ma took out half a piece of bread and crumbed it up on the lawn. Be prepared for late-breaking news in the event that "the bird" takes a nibble.

Let's get in those bird name nominations!

(as always, keep it G-rated)
 
 

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Seen while shopping

 
Hee, hee. "Aw hoot, I forgot my gun!"
______________

Oh calm down. Don't even have a gun. Wouldn't shoot an owl if I did have one. (there, are you happy ?)

Let's move on to my latest loot from Goodwill :-D

The following items still had the original store tags:

One pair of boy's pajama pants--store price...$16.00
Ma's shell-out.....................................$1.59

One Baxter & Wells ladies knit top--store price...$20.00
Ma's shell-out..................(not sure, but I think)...$1.99

One pair boy's/men's Russell Athletic Soccer shorts...$26.00
Ma's shell-out................................................$1.59

Original store price of new items............(ka-ching)...$62.00
Ma's shell-out for these three items.............(approx).........$5.17

Who da Ma!

(I say...)

WHO DA MA !!
 
 

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A pigeon?

 WHAT is a pigeon doing in the Hoyts' front yard?  
...where abide no statues, city buildings or cement edifices of any kind?
 
 
 

On a totally, completely, positively and indubitably unrelated note, Melinda had her second pulmonary function test today.

The first one was done two years ago, while she was on a 250/50 diskus of Advair. She scored very well on that test, pert near normal, to be exact.

The second PFT occurred this morning, after being weaned to the 100/50 diskus, and then weaned off the Advair altogether.

Today's score? Superb! 100% in most areas, 125 in others.

Melinda's nurse practitioner called back before lunch and we had a nice chat on the phone, with the following results:

-no more Advair!
-continue on the Zyrtec
-keep the puffer for use if needed
-additional checkups if problems develop

I then asked the NP if she thought Melinda had had mild asthma and then grown out of it, or if she'd never had asthma in the first place.

*checks back over chart*

"You don't 'grow out' of asthma in two years. I think what Melinda has is a Reactive Airway. There are certain triggers that cause wheezing from time to time.

So, Melinda doesn't have asthma.

Melinda never had asthma.

*MEGA sigh*

Lesson #1...Never stick with a doctor who is overly sure of himself and condescending.

Lesson #2...Even if the new doctor you absolutely LOVE moves away, don't go back to "Dr. I Am Cool."

Lesson #3...When you find yet another practitioner, get settled in so that both of you feel comfortable with each other before asking questions. Your first goal is to come across as a reasonable human being who is also compliant. Medical practitioners LOVE compliant patients.

Lesson #4...Ask questions. Nicely. If the practitioner shows signs of listening, you may have found someone with a heart, as well as a brain. Not only that, but the heart and brain may actually be connected. This last part is IMPORTANT.

Lesson #5...If you don't ask questions, your doctor/practitioner will be perfectly happy just sign off on the standard treatment. ("No problems? The drug must be working!") Remember, YOU AND YOUR DOCTOR SHOULD BE PARTNERS IN YOU AND YOUR FAMILY'S HEALTH!! Just don't say this out loud, unless he/she says it first. Then agree wholeheartedly.

Lesson #6...UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES will you ever, EVER, let ANY of your family see "Dr. I Am Cool," again.

Lesson #7...All pigeons should remain outside the house.
 
 

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Naroshi the Weatherman

by Ali Gaugh Ree

Naroshi was a weatherman in search of a temperature.

And not just any incalescence.

No, it had to be just right: a tad arid without being overly calefactious.

Naroshi had pursued his temperate dream for several years now, and felt he was nearing the end of his clime. Soon, oh so temporally he would achieve his goal. His heated ambitions were oozing upward.

He was indeed, about to reach the summit of Mt. Achdüm, where the winsome waters flowed down from the fount of febricity.

Oh, to think of it! Oh to even think ! Oh, oh...

...OH.

What was this upon the path of pyrexia?

Naroshi looked down upon the ending trail to find a note, which read:

"Dearest Naroshi,

When you reach the top you will still be four degrees shy of your selected temperature. We thought you would like to know, and have a nice day."

p.s. don't forget to tell your friends how to find us.
 
 

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CVI

The cricket sang,
And set the sun,
And workmen finished, one by one,
Their seam the day upon.

The low grass loaded with the dew,
The twilight stood as strangers do
With hat in hand, polite and new,
To stay as if, or go.

A vastness, as a neighbor, came,--
A wisdom without face or name,
A peace, as hemispheres at home,--
And so the night became.

Emily Dickinson
 
 

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The Wind Howls...

...at 31 mph.

The sun shines.

A tornado watch ensues.

Lethargy continues.

And the chances for Ma to see migrating birds grow ever less.

*sniff*
 
 

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(this would look a lot better with a border. Won't somebody out there please help me put a border around my pictures? Everything I try doesn't work...I will offer PRIZES...)
 
 

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Ma's Newsy Nuggets

The smallest alphabet soup, though perhaps not one you'd like to eat.
________________

I always find it amusing when people exclaim over a birth occurring outside the hospital. Without a doctor! Without pain medication!

And I'm not saying all births could go that route, I just think it funny that people are so surprised this actually happens.
________________

In more local news....last week I decided not to wash the glass doors at church since there was a chance of rain.

Naturally, it did not rain.

THIS week I decided I'd better wash those babies...

...and yes, it's raining.
 
 

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Life at Prairie Bridges Park

I had potential plans today to go to The Big Marsh and look for migrating birds, but heavy fog and feeling punk from this virus have changed all that.

It'll be just as fun to sit on the couch with the kids and watch Veggies Tales...not quite, but that's about my energy level for this morning!

Last week though, I was able to get away for an hour to Prairie Bridges Park, with the following results:


One of about five trees I saw collapsed across the trails. Probably from that ice storm.


On the alive-side of things, I was excited to spy a few ducks amongst the ever present geese...
...and after examining them closer on my computer (there's no time at the park, one has to "shoot" first and ask questions later) I've decided these are Northern Shovelers :-) From the map, it looks like they only come to Iowa during migration, so I'm happy to see these guys.


Mud flats. There was quite a bit of run-off when all that snow and ice melted.



The train trestle managed to snag at least 4 large branches (or small trees).
It would have been interesting to view this during "high tide."

Nearby, dried grasses hang over the water, displaying their catch of ice diamonds.




Of course there were geese at the park. And of course they were noisy. But this time, there seemed to be some method and madness to their honking.

I think there were ritualistic mating or territorial things going on.

Here we see two very snaky looking dudes.
(does anybody else's neck hurt?)

Another part of a tree that fell down, which looks to have housed woodpeckers...


Two crazy mallards.
"George! Get the pond scum outta yer teeth! You're making me look bad in front of the ladies!"

The best part of this trip?

No one else was there.
 
 

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Awwww...

 
Look, it's Knut the cute little polar bear cub. Today was his first look at the public and visa versa. Check here for the chance to view 28 photos.
 
 
 

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Plain Planning for Life's Plane

• School with Nolan
  
• Finish all church cleaning
  
• Food Preparation
  
• Lie abed, nursing swollen gland
  

LXXXV

A light exists in spring
Not present on the year
At any other period
When March is scarcely here

A color stands abroad
On solitary hills
That science cannot overtake,
But human nature feels.

It waits upon the lawn;
It shows the furthest tree
Upon the furthest slope we know;
It almost speaks to me.

Then, as horizons step,
Or noons report away,
Without the formula of sound,
It passes and we stay:

A quality of loss
Affecting our content,
As trade had suddenly encroached
Upon a sacrament.

Emily Dickinson
 
 

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OOPS

I just realized that I mailed off those three "Christmas" letters yesterday sans family picture.

*is mortified*

I shall get those right into the post tomorrow, Cousin Terry and assorted Culvers.

*waves toward Wisconsin and Minnesota*

Quite possibly all those indications about who is standing next to whom will make more sense with a family photo.

Just one more confirmation that God put people like me on earth to make the rest of you feel good.
________________

Of less embarrassing tidings, Loren and Kendra arrived safely home in time to see the evening news, though this was not directly referred to by Brian Williams in his broadcast.

(I'll bet his wife has to send out their family Christmas letter, too)
 
 

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Coupla Thangs

Loren and Kendra are on their way home from Indiana. At least that was the plan from yesterday. Sounds as thought it's been a very good experience for Kendra to visit the college, where she sat in on five classes, in ADDITION to eating at the cafeteria.

(the fact that Grace's cafeteria compares quite favorably to LeTourneau's could have a tipping effect on future college selections)
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CORRECTION: It appears Ma has made an error in past reporting of the damage to Iowa from the two ice storms.

In watching the news while treadmilling at noon, I now have very accurate figures...32 million dollars of damage, and 1600 utility poles downed. This last fact was erroneously reported by me earlier as much higher.

My apologies. I thought I'd heard a certain number while watching the news on a-nother treadmilling day. I'd go back and see what I reported, but it's inbedded in a random post and...well...that would require work on my part.

In other words, you get what you pay for, folks.

But I'm almost positive I heard and remembered these last figures correctly :-D
__________________

On Sunday I ordered all the seeds for the garden. We're gradually moving towards a less-Ma-maintenance plan. Kids responsible for a plot which they can tend over and over each year, with the power of personal choice not only in seed selection but decorative schematics.

This year, I'm gonna dig out those annoying black berries that produce nothing but a haven for ragweed, which I then have to pull out. It'll probably kill my bad leg, but it'll be worth it to get rid of them and plant it over in grass.

And NO MORE of me digging up plots with a spade. Yes, I've been perusing the tiller deals online so...heh, heh.....I suggest someone had better hurry home.
 
 

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Saturated Goose

 
 

 
 

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This says it all....

 
 

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Afternoon with Ma

Good news! The last three of the "Christmas" letters have been posted! And it's only MARCH!

Maybe now I'll be able to sleep tonight.

I took the two youngest troublemakers with me for an exciting foray to the post office. Yes folks, this is Iowa and we know how to have a good time!

Afterward, a quick stop at the city park...

...where Nolan has to show off.
The picture's a tad blurry but aptly demonstrates his greatest character trait: dramatics.
 
 
 

"Spin us fastoh, Mommy!"
Nolan again displays his bravado. The supposed lesson learned from that broken leg is now just a dim and distant memory.
 
 
 


Trevor vocalizes while descending the curly slide.


And after that, Ma makes a brief stop at the local grocery, where she imparts another important lesson in the training of dutiful sons/husbands-to-be...
..."Now, repeat after me, 'Let ME make dinner Honey, while you go put your feet up and eat a chocolate.' "
 
 

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Arte de Nolan, in honor of Youth Art Month

With the onset of spring, weddings are literally buzzing 'round our heads, as three more of the cousins prepare to tie the knot of matrimonial bondage. Of course, I mean that in the nicest of ways :-D (for the most part)

So, with nephews getting married in Florida (April), Texas (May) and Indiana (June), we would be hard pressed to attend all events. Still, it is within this swirling nebula of nuptials that the idea for the following drawing sprang forth.



I am told this was me, as in Ma Hoyt, though unbeknownst to the artist, I was not a "Ma" at the time.

Here I am, complete with flowered hat and earrings. (which I don't wear, actually)

Nice detail on the dress :-) It definitely looks weddingish.

Off to the top left we can see that I am thinking of candles. At this same moment, I would also seem to have just finished a tick-tack-toe game. When I asked Nolan, "Who won?" He thought for a moment and replied, "Player two."

OKAY.

Moving on we see a face that appears to be filled with conflicting emotions. Is the bride happy? Is she perplexed? Is she still trying to perfect her Spock imitation?

The artist had no real idea of my emotions, since he was not "to be" for....*counts*....19 years, yet. He did tell me that I was "thinking about getting married."

If I may speak for myself, which I do, I would have to say that on my wedding day I was MOST happy and completely non-conflicted :-D

And what of the mysterious arm coming in from outside the picture?

It is the groom. And while it would be tempting to make some commentary on some deeper symbolic meaning in all of this, I must (regretfully) refrain :-)

Children just draw what pops into their heads, and underlying meanings aren't often involved.

Who knows, maybe he thought I was sucking my thumb...
 
 

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And This Was a Good Day in the Life of Ma

We begin late on a Sunday night, around elevenses. For some strange reason, Ma cannot sleep well without "el hombre" beside her. To alleviate this annoying symptom of weakness--and to distract herself from migraine-induced nausea--she watches TV in bed, hoping to become sleepy... "24 Hours." She has never seen it before, and suddenly she is no longer sleepy! Aside from that Jack "cute-as-a-button" Bauer, terroristic type happenings are happening, folks, and good grief! How could they end the episode right at the abduction of the secretary of state and his lovely daughter who just HAPPENS TO BE JACK'S GIRLFRIEND!

OH fer cryin' out loud!! How is Ma supposed to sleep NOW?

We'll just have to see what's comes on next....Star Trek. As in the original series! It is the episode concerning "Lord Mudd."

Ma learns an important lesson about how to successfully argue logically with androids and present them with illogical inconsistencies until their poor little artificial intelligences start to smoke! And once the smoke comes out of their heads it is only a matter of time before you can escape the planet and beam all your crew members back on board the Enterprise.

*sleep*

Ma awakens to a pleasant surprise...the usually psychotic bathroom space-heater, which runs like crazy when it's warm outside, and stays irritatingly silent when the weather turns cold, has actually decided to make the small master bath quite comfortable! It is as if a miracle came down from heaven! Like unto kids saying thank you or husbands offering to fold the laundry. (some miracles are less possible than others)

Ma hustles around, doing her weight-bearing exercise and then fixing breakfast. This latter endeavor involves making fresh Cocoa Wheats AND fresh oatmeal! Oh Ma--you are indeed a wonder!

*more nausea*

Then it is off to the spelling card box, where new words for the week are handed out to three school children who suddenly appear miserable, contenancially speaking. Who said life was all fun and games, huh? It will all be worth it some day, kids, when you TOO can make your children miserable.

The pace quickens, as Ma prepares to take the Derek-lad in for his pro-time. Just a 25 minute drive--no problem. But wait! Ma looks like a hag! What will she do?

She dabs some water onto her hair and puts on semi-clean clothes. She knows she will have to hit the treadmill before the noon meal, and ain't no WAY she is gonna take two showers before lunch.

With her typical superb driving skills, Ma negotiates the gravel road and highway, effortlessly shifting the gears in the Zippy Red Car. Narry a grind is heard.

Then comes the clinic. It is busy, in part due to a talkative grandmother who is there with her allergic grandson and telling everyone in sight about the trials she has been through, "First I tried mixed berries. THEN I tried strawberries..." Before she sits down, Ma hears the berry scenario THREE TIMES. Being a relatively nice person but not a TOTAL doormat, Ma pulls out her crossword puzzle book and puts on her "game" face.

Only twenty minutes after entering the clinic, Ma-and-son are called back.

Ah! It is a new tech to Ma. They all enter the secretive cubical where the curtain is drawn. Derek sits down in the secret chair. Ma stands and pulls out her secret puzzle book and pretends to look engrossed.

THIS is the point where things get tricksey.

In the past, one tech was so nice that she pointed out the lab result on the machine.

Another gave Ma's hubby some hassle, trying to usher everyone out before the secret number popped up.

This was NOT the nice tech, but was it the hassling tech?

Ma played it very cool. She even threw in some beguiling banter, the kind that makes one think Ma is your average, unassuming parent, just killing time while the kid is getting poked.

It is all a carefully planned ruse.

As the technician finishes up and says "All done!" Ma suddenly has to put her purse on the floor. The crossword puzzle book needs to be placed in the purse and frankly, this should be done in a way that is both compatible to the purse's needs, yet not disrespectful to the book. ("These things must be done del-icately...")

THEN, Ma has to put on her coat, s-l-o-w-l-y, since Ma is not a spring chicken anymore...

The tech tries to facilitate matters by walking over and opening the curtain, during which time Ma steps to the counter, coyly glances at the meter and sees the number 2.1 and says, "Thank you!" and quickly slips out into the hall.

Later, Derek informs Ma, "That's the same one that didn't want to let us see, before.."

YES!! ....*Ma pumps arm*....

Since Ma is still at the clinic, and she had spied the respiratory therapist over in the pharmacy earlier, and since Ma was capable of multi-tasking even before the age of home computers, she walks through half the hospital to visit with the EMT (who doubles as the respiratory therapist) and set up appointments for both her husband's monthly treatment and her daughter's next pulmonary function test.

It is accomplished! Ma leaves, secure in the knowledge that two appointments have been procured, saving time, gas money and most of all, putting husband in the "owes her" department, since he usually makes these appointments himself.

What next for formidable Ma?

Ever the vigilant maman, she calls home on her cell phone to see if everything is "all right." She had left the house with slight trepidations, knowing that her husband and 17-year-old daughter were absent. But surely the children will be safe under the care of a 14-year-old for 70 minutes?

All is well!

Twenty-five minutes later they arrive home, to find a five-year-old sitting on the couch with a cold cloth to his head.

Hmmm. It appears one more rule shall have to be added to the "When Mommy And Daddy Are Gone Scenario":
-no climbing trees
-no riding bikes

and

-NO SPINNING OF FIVE-YEAR-OLDS BY SEVEN-YEAR-OLDS AND THEN TOSSING THEM ONTO THE COUCH BUT MISSING AND HITTING THE BLUE TABLE.

Determining hurt child would live, Ma resumes more schoolishness with the 2nd grader, who seems to have forgotten a multiplication fact or two over the weekend.

*sigh*

JUST enough time to hop on the treadmill. Ma can only go for 1.5 miles, less than usual but better than nothing.


Shower, LUNCH and more nausea.

OOOOOooo. It is time for the weekly shopping trip. Ma takes the two young incorrigibles with her, deeming three hours too long a time for them to be without her moderating influences. It should be noted that at NO TIME did Ma lose the two children.

Home with just enough time to offload the groceries and watch a little news. At 5:55 Ma retires for a short snooze, mandatory to work up the strength to bake frozen pizza for supper.

Yet another listen to the Irish Tenors :-D and a short post and shorter IM with daughter Sharon.

*nausea*

EPIPHANY Could it be the cheapo brownie mixes have been causing the migraines? Ma gives serious consideration to possibly vowing off brownie mixes, where merely licking the bowl can produce undesirable results.

Ma gives a sad glance to the basket of clothes that hasn't been folded for 36 hours and decides she should really get to bed...

(of one thing you can be sure: when Ma gets a lot done in one day, very little gets done on the next)
 
 

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Holiday Time

What noted holidays fall upon the date of March 20?

Proposal Day

Big Bird's Birthday

and my personal favorite...

Extraterrestrial Abductions Day (anyone who has personal experiences they would like to relate to me should send a synopsis in an email. I may be able to include some of these into a future autobiographical work, "Ma Hoyt: The Life Of a Shapeshifter.")

I am terribly sorry about not posting the holiday for yesterday and it is my grave duty to inform everyone that we've missed out on something truly special,

Poultry Day.

Yes, I know. And me without even a rubber chicken to my name.

But yesterday was also...

The Return of the Swallows of Capistrano.

This is pretty important since it reminds us of the fact that it's bird migration time and Ma should really plan her little "get away," very soon, or it will be too late for this year.

Which is why I should go take a nap and rest up for my vacation.
 
 

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2nd Update on Lowell Hoyt

I talked with Loren for a bit on IM this evening and he told me that his dad was definitely better today and they are planning to release him on Wednesday.

Thank you for your prayers.
 

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Of polar bears (and cold places)

(First a slight disclaimer...I am not responsible for sidebar stories on the following Daily Mail site. The article right in front of your eyes is what to read)

Ma is all for cute little cuddlies. So why kill this one?

(second disclaimer....I've not visited any links in the next article. The blog post was what I wished to share)

Concerning an oft-posted polar bear picture....

Hmmmmm?
_____________

Hot off the press.....Ma has been researching her little fingers to the nubbins, all to find out whether Jyrki Kasvi (the Finnish member of parliament who had translated his website into Klingon) won his 2007 election bid.

You would think one could just Google the name and find out? But no. Finally I went for something along the lines of "World election results" and was taken to the Wikipedia political section, where I finally found my way to the 2007 election results ANDDDD.....

....it did not mention him specifically BUT, being the crafty Ma that I am, and knowing he was running for reelection as a member of the Green Party (more specifically, the Green League) and finding that said Green League had a net gain of +1, I think we can safely deduce that---in---fact...

...Mr. Kasvi has been reelected!

Probably.

One hopes that Lieutenant {Worf} Warf has been apprised.

{OK Wilson, now I've got canine thoughts running through my head...are you happy?}

 
 

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Update on Lowell Hoyt

(this is Loren's father, who is 87)

Loren pulled into Dayton TN about 10:30 p.m. (9:30 our time)--so this is hot off the IM press--and got a motel room across the street from the hospital where his dad is staying.

Loren was also able to go visit for about an hour, where he sat by the bed and made himself handy off and on. (Loren is taking some precautions for his own health, like wearing a mask, etc.)

No fever, but some trouble breathing. Lowell is being given antibiotic every day just in case he has a re-occurrence of pneumonia which had caused a previous hospitalization.

When he can tolerate it, they give him some oxygen and inhalation therapy, but he is rather uncomfortable.

Overall, his vital signs are good, the nurses did not think it a serious situation and that he could get over it without much problem.

Loren will probably know more tomorrow but it seems this ended up being a very appropriate time for him to try and visit his dad.

Always interesting to see how God works and moves in the lives of people.

Thank you for the prayers.
 
 

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Sunday Cartoons

 
 
Priceless irony
 
 

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Various Updates

Travelers: Loren and Kendra arrived safely in Warsaw last evening where they bunked with our friends the Tysons, the family which is boarding Sharon for her last semester.

Sharon will take Kendra over to the Grace campus later this afternoon where she'll register and get set up with the scheduled activities for the next few days. There's a whole itinerary and Kendra will be staying with Sharon's roommate from her freshman year.

Loren had several possibilities in mind and after a flurry of calls he was finally able to nail down a chance to visit his dad in Dayton, Tennessee. The only change of plans being that it will be in the local hospital, for Lowell Hoyt was taken there this morning after awaking with a cough. Don't really know what's going on but will keep people informed as I find out.

So please pray for Loren's dad, Lowell Hoyt. His wife Rebecca was the one mentioned a few weeks back with the broken arm and cracked pelvis.

Also for safe travel for Loren as he gets into TN later this evening.

The Homefront: We're doing fairly well, health-wise. No new cases of colds, just continued recovery from the already stricken ones. Carolyn banged up her foot again, breaking several toes. The same ones as happened before, so she is hobbling about right now.

As usual, Ma was called upon to perform the "pullin' o' the toes," which quite frankly makes me cringe but seems to help the afflicted.

Despite having extra chores thrust upon me by certain people leaving or becoming ill, I remain my usual sweet and utterly bitterless self, untiringly loading the dishwasher or making bread, and always with a cheerful smile and meek and quiet spirit.

Mais oui.

Also, I've been playing my latest CD acquisition, "The Irish Tenors."

A LOT.

Anthony Kearns est très excellent and now I have no choice but to amass all of his recordings :-D
 
 

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Introducing....

LEGO GUY!

(ONE...and....TWO...and)

(ONE, BU-pah, BU-pah BUH)

Le-go Guy, (bu-BUH)
Le-go Guy, (bu-BUH)
Your a brave banana, O Lego Guy. (bu-BUH)

Far from shy, (bu-BUH)
You're so spry, (bu-BUH)
You...
just
lack
pru-dence. (bahp, bahp)

LEGO GUY!
 
 

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Off for a college visit

Loren and Kendra left this morning for purposes of a visit to Grace College, in Winona Lake, Indiana.

Here they are, just about to leave....
(it takes extra luggage when you both pack laptops)

Ethan giving his customary "wave-off" to the trip-takers.
....Uh, Ethan...watch out for that apple tree...

Grace is having one of several yearly "VIP" days on campus and it should be a good time for Kendra to get a closer look at where she'll be attending in the fall. She may stay for an extra day or two and sit in on some classes (which for some reason is not scheduled into the official VIPishness).

Loren, if he feels up to it, is planning a side trip or two southwards. I'll give a report if that works out. He can't always make the most definite of plans until he sees how he feels each day.

We at home shall be living it up in their absence, a high time of frivolity which was initiated by unleavened coffee cake this morning. (things can only go up, folks) By the way, did you know that if you forget to put in the baking powder, the entire confection only rises 2 centimeters?

On the sick front--In dealing with a somewhat normal cold the situation is thus:
-two feeling better but now coughing
-one uncommunicative 5-year-old still sniffing
-one 14-year-old feeling like she's coming down with something
-one 10-year-old optimist who thinks he won't ever get sick
-one 48 year old has-been who feels decent but plans to take a nap very shortly

I'm thinkin' we'll be staying home from church tomorrow.

I also hope this sick-business won't complicate a medicine taper we're doing with Melinda. Because she's been so stable on her asthma medication, I'd asked the nurse-practitioner if we might consider lowering her moderate dose. (This is due in part because Melinda was started on the medium dose by a particular doctor, with nothing but a listen to the lungs and a "Yep, she's got asthma!")

With that as background, I've always wondered if Melinda actually qualifies for a true asthma diagnosis. And I've read of additional warnings added to the Advair medication box, which inform that the medicine can in some cases cause a severe asthma attack, resulting in death.

Melinda's only symptoms have been wheezing after exercise and during allergy seasons. Given the quick initial diagnosis and these additional med warnings, I don't think it unreasonable to reevaluate. I surely don't mind my children taking a medication if they really NEED it, but I SURELY don't want an unnecessary Rx.

This is the second time I've brought this up and the nurse-practitioner was willing to do a little experimentation. In fact, she suggested Melinda slowly taper off the Advair altogether and then take another pulmonary function test, which makes good sense to me.

So, I'm hoping that there won't be junk in Melinda's lungs from this current virus running through us that would skew the test results.

But like I said, I need that nap...
 
 

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In which....

...Sleepy Ma learns a hard lesson about neglecting 2½ teaspoons of baking powder in the coffee cake recipe.
 
 

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Cutesome Junco

Taken through a dirty window
 
 

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And So Iowa Falls....

...as California moves their primary date from June to February. With other states to follow?

*weeps*

I mean, Iowa---had---so---little. And now we have even less.

*more weeping*

What's left? Birthplace of Herbert Hoover and the Eskimo Pie?

That weird cornfield maze over near Dyersville?

*copious sniffings*

Come on, Arnold...you take away a small sparsely populated state's ability to influence the presidential primaries and you take away our reason for living!

I foresee a bleak future of wide-spread hog lots and ethanol-laced lattes.

I hope you're happy, Mr. Schwarzenegger! My younger children probably won't even be able to get into college....("You're from where? Iowa? Didn't that used to be...like....an island off the coast of Minnesota? Ha, ha HA! Application de-nied....!")

I can see it now...destitution, a life of poverty and yes...no sushi. And all because your huge state was so pathetically low in self-esteem you just HAD to feel like big guys and usurp Iowa's one and only claim to fame:

The Iowa Caucus.

Now we may not even get to SEE people like John McCain and...and...what's her name....oh yeah, Bill's Wife. No more sound-bites filled with nothing but premature campaign lies....

...no more....

Hmmmmmmm.

On second thought,

Thanks, Governator!
 
 

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Dear Pringles:

Bad idea.

Ma does not like eating chips with print on them.

Ma does not like looking at chips with print on them.

Ma wishes she could buy the original flavor without the print. On them.

Show me the person responsible for this and I'll show you someone in Product Design who gets paid too much.

Sincerely,

Annoyed in Iowa
 
 

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March Holidays

Yes I know we're half-way through the month already! Where has Ma been for the past 15 days?

She has little recollection which is one of the reasons she blogs every day.

And you thought I was just a narcissistic egomaniac.

ANYWAY, the month of March is:
* Irish American Month
* Music in Our Schools Month
* National Craft Month
* National Frozen Food Month
* National Irish American Heritage Month- designated by Congress in 1995.
* National Nutrition Month
* National Peanut Month
* National Women's History Month
* Poetry Month
* Red Cross Month
* Social Workers Month

and,

NATIONAL NOODLE MONTH!

Yes, I know...exciting stuff!

Sorry about those special March days that were missed, like Multiple Personalities Day (5th), National Crown Roast of Pork Day (7th) and Worship of Tools Day (11th)

And what about right now, the 15th?

Well of course it's the Ides of March. March is named after the Roman God Mars, but I don't think this prohibits Christians from owning calendars, any more then it is evil for us to own Dirt Devil vacuum cleaners, of which I have one....but I'd better not get started down THAT trail...

This famous Roman note also reminds me of my mom's birthday, for my dad always remembered it by way of this little ditty he made up,

"Ides of March plus eight,
Birthday of my spouse and mate."

:-D

Now then, on to the rest of today's momentous mentions. Today is:
-Dumbstruck Day
-Incredible Kid Day (as all mine are)
-Everything You Think is Wrong Day

(and my personal favorite)

Buzzard's Day!
I've delved back into the 2005 pictures to drag out this harrowing beauty of buzzardliness. He (or she, it's so hard to tell...but since it's just sitting around, I figure it's a "he") is atop a utility pole, next to a railroad track, which is next to...

The Whistle Stop Cafe in Georgia, where "Fried Green Tomatoes" was filmed! Yes, Ma was there. I might possibly have even blogged about it. Maybe.

So let's all go out and do something nice for the buzzards in our lives.
_______________

On a totally unrelated note, I have one more reason for hating on sickness....Ma has to do all the "make-up" chores for kids who are too ill to perform them.

Hmmm, my ears are starting to pop. I wonder if that means anything...
 
 

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Ma's Newsy Nuggets

Lame excuse.
___________

Lame reasoning.
___________

OH yeah.
___________

Again one has to ask, "Why can't more people be like me?
 
 

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Beautiful Birds

We were quite taken by the arrival of these lovely birds to the feeder this morning. All school came to a halt as we tip-toed slowly over to the windows.
I told the kids I thought they might be Purple Finches...

...but upon closer examination I would guess they are the more common House Finch.

At one time this morning there were six of these attractive little guys hanging about. The males are the ones with the colors, which can vary according to how many berries they are able to incorporate into their diet. Also, the ones with the most red are supposed to survive the winter more easily.

These birds can hang around Iowa year round, though I don't recall ever seeing one before.

With a name like Carpodacus mexicanus it is easy to understand that originally these birds were only found in the southwestern United States and Mexico.

Sellers of exotic birds in 1940 advertised them on the east coast as the Hollywood Finch. Unfortunately for the sellers, this was slightly illegal, and to prevent getting caught, some were released into the wilds of Long Island. The birds then did what birds do....cavorted around, multiplied and began their nefarious campaign to take over the United States and eventually become one of the causes of Global Warming.

Of late there has been a type of disease which causes blindness and then death, somewhat depleting the numbers of the House Finch.

These birds are also known to be pests in orchards, but I figure we will be OK, since (excepting the apple trees) our little "orchard" hardly produces anything.
_______________

On a more annoying note, it appears we've once again been introduced to disease carrying organisms, some of which may have been viruses.

Carolyn woke up with a fever and shows signs of a cold.

Others have sore throats.

Sneezing has ensued.

Oh joy.
 

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The Ma Side

In his heart...Kyle the Hawk would always be a flamingo.
 

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That Annual Check-up Thing

Yes, time again for ye olde physicale. The mammogram, the blah blah blah, the cholesterol screening.

Time to demystify this whole womanish cancer prevention business. No more slinking about. So ladies, here's what ya do...

Just walk up to the desk where they give you the x-ray paperwork, look carefully around to see how many men are sitting in the waiting area and then announce as loudly as possible,

"I'M HERE FOR MY MAMMOGRAM!! YO BABY, WHERE'S MY FREE CANDY AND ICE-PACKS?"

Here is the cute little room they let you wait in while the tech is looking over the four basic slides she has just taken. It's the inspiration for many a woman's bathroom decor. And notice the can of antiperspirant? It is there because (as I found out last year) YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO COME IN WITH DEODERANT ON !
If you do, you will have to wash it off. However, once you are all done--including going back in for two more slam-dunks, since two of the first four were messed up--then and ONLY THEN, can you use the cute little can. Providing you don't mind a personal care product that's been utilized by a gazillion other women.

Then it is on to the check-up proper, since you have had the good sense to schedule the mammogram AND the check-up on the very same day. Unfortunately, you have forgotten that since a couple of the tests were actually performed in April last year, and not March, you shall have to return in a couple of weeks, as your insurance company does not pay for people who attempt to be overly healthy.

And speaking of superb health, my nurse-practitioner said she has never, as in NEVER heard of anyone having as super an HDL as moi. Oh yes, she's had someone around 90, but never anyone with the spectacular number of 100! We'll see how it comes out this year, as that is one of the tests for next month.

Now for something new: after sporadic nagging and dubious looks given to me when I have asked certain people to repeat their speech, Ma decided to break down and ask for a hearing test. It's a rather generic test, to be sure, but a reasonable one as opposed to being referred to an audiologist and then finding out the insurance won't pay...
Oh look...what funny ears you have, Ma. But I must say, I look rather reasonable, don't you think?


Here I am after popping two Dove's Dark Chocolates into my mouth...
"...OOOOoooo, look at the pretty colors..."

Aside from the obvious need to have several of my extra chins removed, I tested QUITE normal in hearing, with ever so slight lessened ability to distinguish the lower range with the right ear. HOWEVER, it WAS within the norms, so we can finally say with no more equivocation, that CERTAIN people have been mumbling.

I'm sure they will try harder in the future, as I would hate to have to refer grown persons to a speech pathologist...
________________

I saw a bald eagle soaring in the sky on my way to the appointment, but exercising tremendous willpower and restraint, I did not pull over, stop, or even roll down my window and take a picture while driving. (which I admit to having done once or twice :-D )«(extra chin)

Plenty of swollen streams along the way back home. Somewhere amidst this watery mass runs a small, meandering creek...
By the way, any apparent sag to the middle of the quaint wooden bridge has nothing whatever to do with the fact I was standing on it.

So that's today, in a nutshell.

In honor of soon approaching St. Patrick's day, I'll leave you with this ancient Irish blessing:

"May the road rise to meet you,
yet not so the creek. And
Ma
has the best
HDL."

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Dangers in the ditch

It was Monday, the day alloted for weekly food and other-stuffs procurement. Derek and I ventured out into the misty netherworld of warming temps.

The waters were running swiftly with the snow and ice melt-off. This is the annual Iowa white-water rafting season.

Not to mention dense fog. But don't worry, I only had one person pull out in front of me. After that, I decided "For-get the lessened gas mileage, the high profile headlights are going on !"

Later, having to turn across the oncoming lane, I found I'd pulled in front of a semi. But the zippy red car proved it's mettle by bearing Derek and I safely onto another fog-laden road.

As we neared home, the run-off from fields and ditches threatened to bar our way!
But Ma safely maneuvered groceries and Goodwill booty to the sheltered havens of home.

Oh joy! I found a nice paperback copy of "The Fellowship of the Ring," to replace the horrifically worn version from Loren's and my pre-wedded days.
____________________

This morning brings lifted fog and returning sunshine.

And birds! Birds are returning to feeder area, now restored after our fierce winter stormings.

A Mourning Dove picks about the ground for seeds that have fallen. I may just have to start dumping seeds, since few birds seem inclined to sit on the feeder itself.

Enough dalliance.

Must finish school, as later today I shall leave for my annual physical and mammogram.

Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy.
 
 

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