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Ma's Plan to Usurp Storms

"Only 2 or 3 inches on Monday, and much less wind."

HA!

That's the forecast but I've got it all figured out. If I wait to go shopping until Monday, 5 or 6 inches could show up.

If I go to-day, it should dwindle away to practically nothing.

Remember those times I baked bread and boiled eggs and fixed all kinds of food in case the electricity wen kerplunk?

Didn't happen.

And that's why I'm going aujourd'hui. I figure shopping ahead will virtually insure a weak system on Lundi.

You're welcome.

I'll also be digging the Green-Dragon-Lady-Lincoln-of-Power out of mothballs. I'm not scared of getting stranded. As long as she starts, I'll just leave her in the parking lot, locked and running (similar to "locked and loaded" but less attitude).

After all, we're not talkin' Waterloo where they have laws against keeping warm.

Perhaps my li'l darlin's hot breath can melt some snow along the way.
 

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The EMM Report, avec Français!

If it's Friday, it's time for another Extremme Ma Makeover weigh-in report!

But before we get to that, you might have noticed the extra "m" in the above sentence. This is not a typo, oh non (well, first it was...I hit that letter too many times, but then I looked at it and thought, "c'est bon!").

Two "m's" look SO much more sophisticated than one. More extremey, si'l vous will.

Also, I've made everyone antsy by delaying the numbers. Just like they do in real books! Hey, I may not be an author, but I can still frustrate people for free.

But back to the report...

.....*drum roll*....

Today's weigh-in shows a loss of 3 pounds :-D

Yay for Ma! That makes a total of 8 pounds over 4 weeks. Beaucoup gratification since these past two weeks have been frustration personified.
________________

As for last night's undate, Loren and I left early to do some shopping at Menards. You know, that place where the men wonder around in glassy-eyed amazement and the women kill time by avoiding anything that remotely resembles PVC pipe.

I came away with a nice sweatshirt, a two-movie DVD set, and ski gloves. I don't plan to go skiing, but they were half price, looked warm and obviously needed a home.

On to Panera Bread so I could comply with my reduced eating regimen: half a sandwich and a cup of black bean soup. Yum! (that reminds me, menfolk need to look at the menu more carefully so they don't come away with a cold sandwich and an apple, a meal suspiciously similar to lunch)

Somewhat healthy menu aside, Panera Bread is cold and lacking atmosphere. Unless you count the lady two tables over who'd just gotten a new cell phone and was now receiving incoming: "Hi! Yes, I bought this one because it's supposed to have more power...does it sound as scratchy on your end as it does on mine?...I said, DOES IT SOUND AS SCRATCHY ON YOUR END AS IT DOES ON MINE?"

Then we went to see Leap Year, a nice fluffy movie that warms the hearts of people who know better (some day they really need to do a Rom/Com with the costars wearing glasses).

Back off to home, where the little ones had been put to bed by Carolyn-the-magnificent. The report being, "Nothing too bad happened."

C'est une bonne journée pour moi.
 

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Today's Accomplishments

• Completed school
  
• Ordered Nolan and Trevor's ITBS prep books
  
• Worked with Ethan to clear the big drift in the driveway
  
• Did the weekly shopping and got home early enough to....
  
• ...take a nap!
  
• Tried a new artificial sweetener: "Truvia" (yum :-)
  
• Performed a quick clean on part of the fridge
  
• Decided on French Toast for supper
  
• Contemplated how much I could eat and not kill my diet progress, coupled with after supper treadmill time
  

We got safely out of the driveway. My new method involves using a 3-point turn in front of the garage to prevent the need for backing out, since the turnaround is FILLED with snow. Tomorrow I may go out and start pounding the ice with the sledge hammer. It makes me a little nervous negotiating past the vehicles with all the refrozen meltage. Just a little too close for comfort.

The roads were not bad, though some places on the rural highways were not yet cleared to two lanes. I saw numerous places we would have been trapped had we made it off the gravel roads, yesterday.

At least we've replenished the peanut butter, eggs and cheese! Some things are hard to get along without, for us softies.

And Ritz crackers. I believe Ethan would be lost without his mid-morning snack of crackers, peanut butter and chocolate chips.

Internet-wise, our provider is having some problems, so Ma is back on the modem, at the moment. But on the bright side, we're saved the hassle of those taped calls.

Now, I really must water my plants. This dying herbage around the house does my reputation no good.

I sure could use a decent housekeeper.
 

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Missed Forecast

Today has to go down as one underestimated, miscalculated, bordering-on-a-dangerous-weather-faux-pas of the season.

If I had KNOWN we'd end up with blizzard conditions, I COULD have managed the groceries on Saturday, even with a sore knee.

All morning I was planning to take the three little boys shopping after lunch. We did receive our mail and there was nothing stronger than a weather advisory, with our county at the eastern edge.

A careful eye was kept on the road conditions, and even though the Des Moines area was designated "travel not recommended," our patch seemed fairly clear, with only partially covered roadways.

I've now come to learn that "partially covered" means there are only drifts completely across the road every 20 yards or so. Apparently if the roads aren't wall-to-wall drifts...

Have to admit though, the blowing snow out the window did not look inviting, still, we thought we could make it. Ethan and I braved the near blizzard winds to clear out the main drift, which took less than 30 minutes.

By the time we'd eaten lunch and started out, it had blown shut, but Ma rammed the car through, much to the delight of three young lads.

Out on the road, however, there were sections with almost no visibility. As in, "I think I'm getting scared," visibility. I told Ethan that if we made it past the concrete bridge, we'd probably get out to the paved road alright, but I was reserving the right to turn around at any time. We even had a snow shovel in the trunk for facilitating the bridge drift.

Routinely bucking 1 ft drifts I proceeded somewhat doubtfully until we came to the second of three crossroads.

Whoa Nelly! There was a diagonal drift across the entire junction, higher than the car's hood. Ethan wanted to get out and shovel through (!) but given the dimensions and the 0 degree wind chill, and the knowledge that it would only be worse by the time we came home, I said, "Nope. That's it. We have to go back. Sorry."

They were disappointed but bore up well as I made a 5-point turn-around.

Back home we went, probably the only car out since the mailman.

Since then, all counties to the west of us are under a blizzard warning. And being 1-mile from said blizzard warning, and viewing the out-of-doors, I can safely say we are in a blizzard.

We'll try again tomorrow, if the drift-buster gets through.

But the weather guys owe us chocolate chips and cheese. And eggs.
 

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Winter should be over in a year or two

Or maybe it just seems that way.

I purposely left grocery shopping 'til today because they--the weather peoples--had given every indication that today's snow would not be a big deal.

WELL, the forecast is up to 3 or more inches, and the wind is whipping it around at 27 mph, with higher gusts.

In addition, they've closed schools in Iowa Falls where I shop, so it looks a bit dicey.

However, Loren assures me that once I get out of the driveway, I should be alright. The driveway being the bane of winter existence, for us.

I got stuck in the slush just getting off to church yesterday. Probably the fifth time we've been stopped by the driveway this winter.

Speaking of Loren, he missed church for the third consecutive week, yesterday. It's more of The-Ever-Recurring-cold. Just won't go away. It pretends, for short periods of time, but rears it's ugly, mucousy head, again and again.

I was able to take Melinda and the three boys, however. Carolyn, having caught the virus last, is still under the weather, but seems to be on the mend. Her heart irregularities appear to be lessening, as well. But as we've discovered, you never really know when this cold will be over.

On a more cheerful note, I snapped a picture of a Downy Woodpecker at the suet feeder.

(I would have had this up earlier, but we discovered our wireless antenna had gotten bent in the wind and had to be turned. For a while, things were almost as slow as the modem)

I'd bought one of those pretty suet balls at the grocery store, then had to jam it into my rectangular mesh feeder as well as I could. Not pretty, but gets the job done.

I'm guessin' this is a female, since there is no tell tale red patch on the back of the head.


*sigh*

Soon Ethan and I shall have to go work on the driveway, which has drifted shut, again. Then it's lunch and off to the stores, providing we make it out to the road.

After that, a mere 3 hours of driving in low visibility and hoping we make it back into the garage upon our return.
 

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Well...

We seem to have our wireless back :-)

Brisk 25mph winds blew all night and the temperature is just high enough for most of the ice and frost to have melted. Sadly, the fog-of-neverendingness is still here.

In other news, I forgot to post the Friday report of EMM, or Extreme Ma Makeover:

--weight stayed the same, a sure sign that I have bulked up with huge muscles, ha, ha.

Don't much care, as I'd actually been "up" earlier in the week, so staying even is at least better than the travesty of gaining after working so hard and being hungry half the time.

I may take a break from the treadmill for a coupla days, however. Earlier in the week when I was clearing away the fallen branches, I fell on the ice. Didn't seem like that big of a deal, but now my left knee is hurting. I've had to employ the timeless stairs advice of Loren's physical therapist at the University of Iowa Hospitals, "Good leg goes to heaven, bad leg goes to hell."

It's very true. Leading up the stairs with your good leg and starting down with your bad, takes all the pressure of the sore limb. You don't go as fast since you're just doing one step at a time, but it gets the job down without the pain.

There is always something...
 

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Lessons of Modemity

• Allow at least two minutes for each page to load
  
• Repeatedly hitting the "enter" key may not expedite matters, but it sure beats repeatedly hitting your fist into the wall
  
• Increased modem use can lead to the coining of phrases such as, "They can put a man on the moon, but they can't get the ice off my roof!" or,
  
• "This would never have happened in Texas."
  
• There are indeed things slower than molasses
  
• Studies are incomplete as to modem use and its causal effect in the development of stomach ulcers, but preliminary results are quite promising
  

 

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And Still it Continues

We have recurring sickness. The cold that never ends.

Loren had a bad night last night and now my sore throat is coming back....and I was beginning to feel left out!

Looks like it's hunker-down-time at the Hoytstead.

The world outside is covered in a slick coat of ice. I noticed that another branch or two has fallen, one across the road. I'm assuming it came from our tree and fell on the road and someone had to move it.

Guess I'd better get out there and clean up the debris.

On the Internet front, we usually have a bit of wireless toward evening, if it's gotten warm enough to thaw the antenna. Outside of that window of time, we can usually access through a modem, which Loren has set up my computer to handle, now. Yes folks, I can hook up the modem all by my lil' ol self!

I feel so special.

This is proving to be a very long winter.

Need to "get off the phone." Someone could be calling any moment with a million dollar book deal, ha ha.
 

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Ode to a Modem

C'mon...

LOAD! fer cryin' out LOUD!

C'mon, c'mon....C'MON.

Please?

(I will not go nuts, I will not go nuts...)

What's that? It's going...?

ARRRRGGH.

_____________

Ma is just short of berserko, waiting for a puny tab or two to load.

Thankfully, we still have electricity...YAY!

Just in case, I put in some prep-for-no-electro, this morning.

--Baked a fresh batch of bread (as opposed to baking a stale batch)

--boiled eggs

--baked cookie bars

--baked another batch of granola

--filled two pitchers with water.

We didn't get a great deal of ice, but by gum, Ma was prepared, pastry-wise! And I don't mean to imply that my baking staved off the bad weather, but still...it is an amazing coincidence, no?

The other news is just more of the annoying cold-of-contrariness. People who were almost well are getting symptoms again. The virus seems to be on some continuous loop that never, ever ends.

I haven't had a recurrence, which is just as well, since I'm doing extra dishes for the sniff-n-coughers. Only two splits in my fingers so far, so not too bad.

Hmmm, I wonder if you can burn more calories by having your fingers split and bleed from washing extra dishes? I'll have to look into that....every little bit helps, ya know.

Apparently though, going over five miles on the treadmill yesterday, didn't. I guess it's too much to expect for weight loss to show up that fast, but when you get on the scale and discover you've gained after knocking yourself out, it does take the heart out of a person.

But at least we still have slow Internet and they can't take that away from me...well, I guess they can, but if I bake enough stuff, maybe it will come back.
 

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Days of Pine and Hoarfrost

It's not that I don't appreciate the pretty frost...IT'S JUST THAT FIVE DAYS ENCLOSED IN THE WHITE FOG-OF-FREEZINESS IS GETTING OLD.

We did have the sun shine for part of Saturday afternoon, but that picture will have to wait.

From the yard this morning:

Looking straight up the trunk


Magical stand of trees, with magical grain bin in background



Wire fences have been repainted. In fact, not much isn't covered.


I wouldn't have thought mere frost could bring down a branch...
...but given enough days, with refreezing each night, something had to give.

Hoarfrost, up close and personal.


In case you haven't gathered, hoarfrost is what happens when dense fog freezes overnight. We had these beautiful exhibitions before, but never for so many consecutive days.

Indeed, the frost may have been the cause of our Internet service disruption. Our provider thought the jagged tips of the frozen stuff on the antenna were interfering with the signal.

(and behold, we are back to slow modem goin' at the moment)

Good news, though...we're going to get rain to wash it away, after which will come freezing rain....looks like the good news will be short lived.

Our county is on the edge of a winter storm warning (for the fifth time) so we'll see what happens. 1/4 to 1/2 inch ice accumulation expected in that area. The last time we lost power was when 1 inch of ice piled up. We might just make it...

If you don't hear from us for a couple days, send salt.
 

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Socked in Cotton

You would not be-LIEVE how foggy it is! Sixteenth of a mile visibility in rural places.

Currently, Ma comes to you from the library, as our Internet is down.

No visibility in real or cyber space. VERY scary.

Driving is like proceeding through white cotton candy, minus the sugar rush. Not even a few strands of sticky stuff on the mouth, for comfort. Fog will continue, until....

...Wednesday and Thursday, when a low moves in and we have a chance for mixed precipitation. Significant amounts of freezing accumulation possible in central Iowa...OH boy.

(wow, it is so NOISY in here. Too many cheerful librarians. Life is so different from when I grew up)

ANYWAY, I'm off on my little weekly shopping excursion, avec Melinda, the only one not remotely sick.

And earlier in the day, Nolan threw out this totally random question:

"Mommy? When you were a little girl and you were sick, did your mother ever go and buy you something special when she went shopping, to make you feel better?"

(oh BROTHER)

"Hmmm. Maybe jello or something if I had a sore throat..."

Probably not the answer he had in mind.

Ah well, Goodwill awaits and I'm feeling pretty self conscious as I'm the only one doing any typing. My keyboard could well be annoying the other peoples in our cozy little computer quad.

Better be off.

I wouldn't mind this fog so much if only I were in London.
 

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And then there were five

Again.

Five kids, that is.

All the collegiates are back to their respective campuses: Kendra, today and Jason and Derek last Sunday.

And that reminds me...TIME FOR THE FIRST WEEK BACK-TO-CLASSES-UPDATE WITH VOTRE CHÈRE MAMAN from the Texas crew.

Doesn't have to be much, just 2 or 3 pages, double spaced. And use yellow paper so it doesn't put undue glare upon mine eyes.

As for Kendra, Ma drove her down to Iowa City this morning where she met up with her ride back to Indiana. The family taking her was staying overnight at some relatives in another town, so Sharon came an hour this way to collect Kendra.

I have many important contacts, in many important places.

On the way home I was admiring the lovely hoarfrost on the trees and fences that occurred overnight with the fog. I didn't actually stop to take pictures, as I was in a race against time to get home before something untoward happened related to the copious amounts of Diet Coke I'd swilled en route.

That minor emergency narrowly averted I did go out and test my new (used) camera, before lunch. Haven't read the manual yet, so I probably got a few blurry pictures. Particularly since the mode dial has completely different markings. I know I got at least one unintended movie and I'm not sure, but I think I connected with a spy plane going overhead.

...*90 minutes later*...

The pictures will have to wait. Computer complications and besides, it's time for The Red Green Show.

:-D
 

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Victory and Victoria

Today was the weigh-in for this week's Extreme Ma Makover. The verdict: lost 1 more pound! Hey, that's good, considering I was up and down over the week. Settling down is a definite victory.

That makes 5 pounds lost over 2 weeks.

In other news, Loren and I saw The Young Victoria last night. Pretty decent, overall.

Lush palatial rooms, lush scenery, lush period costumes.

All very pretty, in a quiet, beautiful way.

Not completely historically accurate, but close.

Rather ended a bit strangely...anticlimactic, but I imagine that was the intention, to give it a feel for her life continuing on...

So much for my vast powers of interpretation.

BIG failure was the ending song, sung by Sinead O'Conner. HUGE mistake that COMPLETELY breaks the mood of the entire movie. A mood that had been crafted throughout until....clunko Sineado.

Sorta like throwing mud on a Rembrandt. Somebody goofed, in Ma's opinion.

Did I mention it was wrong ?

But a movie worth seeing on a night out. Particularly if you go to the cheaper theater in Cedar Falls, rather than Waterloo.

Plus, I had a nice salady meal at Applebees. Only six points on the Weight Watcher's scale, though I had to box up part to take home. Probably cut at least 1.3 points off supper.

Victory.
 

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And it only took three tries!

(while sipping green tea)

Loren and I are off on another madcap "undate," this evening. Along the way we'll be stopping by the eye doctor's which makes the third time, for Loren.

After getting a new lens prescription, he went back only to discover they did not fit into his frames.

Yesterday he got the call that they'd been redone and he should return...but alas, NO FITTO.

Very frustrating when it takes 45 minutes to get there, one way.

So they sent him back home with borrowed frames, forwarding his own to the lab, in hopes someone would get it right this time.

Today's phone call informed him that his frames had been twisted and thus, the fitting problem. We do hope the third time is a charm.

Must go. It always looks bad when Ma is hating on enjoying tea while the kids are waiting for lunch.
 

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I have seen Avatar....

...and am still in my right mind.

That's a reference to an article stating that some came away from the movie feeling depressed because they couldn't live in a magical, florescent world like Pandora.

Get a grip, people...IT'S ONLY A MOVIE!

Ma's little adventure began yesterday with the procurement of today's dental appointment for Kendra. I got to thinking, "You know....we could work this out so Kendra and I could go see the early showing after the dentist appointment!"

THEN I had the supremely brilliant idea to buy tickets online, ensuring us seats. I'd heard the movie was popular and I wasn't driving to Waterloo fer nothin', no siree.

So I did my amazing act of cyber skillfulness and received confirmation. Basically walking around congratulating myself on another new accomplishment with this aging mind...until....I thought about checking the date.

I'd bought them for yesterday, instead of today as intended.

Let me just say here, that calling the "help" line is no help at all. They can't do anything. They say you can get a refund if you appear at the door an hour before showtime. They suggest calling the box office, which doesn't open until 45 minutes before showtime.

I gnashed my teeth for a while and then made the executive decision, "We're going!"

The main problem being, Loren had the one truly reliable car for the day, off to Mayoland for more checkage.

But Ma was not going let movie-enjoyment-with-the-collegiate slip through her chubby paws, oh no.

With 15 minutes to get ready, we showered, moved Thursday's supper forward two days, put on our best movie duds, and proceeded to the Green-Dragon-Lady-Lincoln-of-Power. She'd been cooling her snarky wheels in the garage and it was time to get tough.

"Now you start!" was the militant command issued by General Ma.

It was a little dicey, but she turned over :-) and thus we girls went forth into battle, brandishing brazen attitudes and a large chunk o' moss-colored metal.

It was my first 3D movie in 26 years, and Kendra's first ever.

Very, very COOL!

Almost as amazing, the car started after sitting outside for 3 hours :-D

When Loren arrived home and heard what had happened, into his mind rushed thoughts of a Waterlooish rescue mission....but it all worked out.

Ma's ava-car came through in the clutch.
 

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"Congratulations!"

"By achieving a 4.0 for this past semester, you have received the honor of being placed on the 'President's List.' Very few students at LeTourneau University achieve this distinction."

Yes...Ma has won a prestigious honor, albeit vicariously through son Derek. He received a letter of recognition from the school AND a copy of the press release which will go out to the local paper. Your know...the internationally famous ACKLEY WORLD JOURNAL.

The same one that couldn't find the details of Kendra making the Dean's List and said they'd probably accidentally deleted the email notification, ha ha.

Jolly good, Derek. Too bad this arrived at our house the day after you got back to campus, but thanks for giving me permission to open it :-D

Also in the mail, another potential magazine bonanza for Ma. Midwest Living is offering me three years' subscription for the price of one, but that's not ALL, oh no. In addition, I could receive a FREE COOKBOOK!

I had a similar offer from Better Homes and Gardens, and while they have a nice cookbook, I don't believe the subscription package was quite as attractive.

Besides, I kinda like the elitist format of Midwest Living. This is not for those blue bloods on the east coast, nor the wild and crazy Californians. Not even for the Ragin' Cajuns or succession-threatening Texans.

No folks, Midwest Living is clearly meant for us crème de la crèmers who live in the heart of the nation, safely protected from the psychos by our walls of snow and corn.

As if that were not enough, fluttering out from the ML mailing was a square of paper containing not 10, not 12, but 16 smiley face stickers!

I know !

As Shakespeare would say, "It doth boggle the noggle."

In other news, I did not have to get up at 1:00am with Nolan last night, for purposes of alleviating his croupy cough.

Had to get up a 2:42, instead.

I was keeping an ear open, hearing him hack once in a while and thinking, "Well, maybe we can get through this ni..." when I heard a gagging sound and leapt out of bed (which I'm thinkin' might be the reason for my twisted ankle).

Got him down to the open doorway and breathing in the good ol' Ioway air. It wasn't below zero this time--a balmy 12 degrees--so I made him take a few extra breaths. Then it was back to bed.

'Tis wonderfully effective, that treatment. He hardly coughed after that. I, on the other had, was wide awake.

All the more reason to have lotsa reading material.
 

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Happy Report!

 
Jason and Derek have pulled into the LeTourneau campus so I can relax and go to bed, now :-)

Ma is most thankful.
 

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The Last Snuggle

'Twas the night before college, and Trevor needed some big bro time...
...don't think Jason minded that much. They both nodded off during Lawrence Welk, amazingly enough.

Ooooo, time to rouse the Bunny Boy...


He was soundly asleep, oblivious to tickling and his own hand dropped upon the face.


We got him awake in time to go to bed.

Despite a 14-year age difference, these two are best buds.
 

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From a Secure Location, Somewhere in Hoytland

Greetings from Loren's computer.

Mine is doing it's thrice weekly habit of Internet refusal. I'm loathe to mention this to el hubbo since he already has problems aplenty.

Speaking of which, after herculean efforts on Jason's Toyota, it would appear it's a "No Go" for liftoff to Texas, tomorrow. Therefore, energies--still of heroic proportions--have been shifted toward the Red-Minivan-of-Noisedom.

Jason and Derek depart for LeTourneau on the morrow, and they will leave two, large empty places at the table of supperage.

But then, we'll fit three to a side instead of four, so it's not a total loss.

At least we have Kendra for one more week. And there is plenty to pack into those last 7 days if our movie and shopping plans come to fruition.
___________

Most of the sickies are on the road to recovery, though we may have conferred los germos to Jason, just in time for the big trip to the south.

We do what we can.

The younger set is watching a Winnie the Pooh video and Ma is finishing her second cup of Earl Grey. Hot. With a spot of milk and sugar.

Gotta say though, chamomile tea is the best. I always reserve that for the end of the day.
___________

Word on the plains is that we'll be hitting 30 degrees and above, next week. Can spring be far behind? Probably. I distinctly recall two ice storms in February of 07...or was it 08? After weeks of near zero or below temperatures, the brain struggles to make sense of living in Iowa during the winter.

Love the sunsets, though.
___________

Ma's flirtation with health continues apace. Much less chocolate, snacking almost nil, reduced meals, and copious amounts of tea to help me feel full, warm, and oh so cultured. I might even read some Shakespeare later, who knows.

Hoping the achy feet will subside once I lose 10 or 15 more pounds. Feet that hurt upon standing are merely screaming for their own form of podiatal suffrage...soft, expensive shoes with good arch supports.

Barring that, taking a bit of load off the ol' hoofs should alleviate matters.

Ooooo, feeling hungry again and supper is hours away. Guess that means it's tea time in Hoytland.

Bon après-midi, amigos.
 

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Dead Hoyts Walking

As in, us. Nothing like a hefty workout in a -17 degree windchill to make one feel a tad sick.

It took less time than anticipated--just under 3 hours--but Ma felt the need for a deluxe spa treatment. Tender ministrations, soothing aromas, anti-caloric treats followed by a month-long induced hibernation. That being impossible, I settled for a hot bath, dry clothes, and one strength-imbuing chocolate. Plus a blanketed news-watching couch.

Here's our "Tracy Cut," named after that famous drift from The Long Winter.
It always fills at this point, and while not encompassing the entire length of the drive, it did play itself out in snowy abandon between the backs of each large van. Next year: snow fence.

You can see Ethan carrying off a large hunk. He's a very humble guy and I'm SURE he wasn't performing for the camera.

We took a little break before working in front of the garage...
...thankfully that only required 30 minutes.

Here is what the first section looked like after we'd finished.
Do not mind the tilted horizon...it merely demonstrates how far the earth turned during our horrendous, backbreaking toil.

Thanks go to Ethan and Kendra for their hard labors, and also Jason, who helped before returning to the (warm) garage and work on his "wheels."

That's another story altogether and shall be told at a later date.

I just hope I can stay awake for "movie night," this evening...
 

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Weigh-In for the EMM

Yes, today was the first official weigh-in for this year's edition of Extreme Ma Makover.....

....*drum roll*....

Four Pounds!

Am I da Ma? I say, AM I DA MA?!

Let's see, that makes four pounds down and a half-gazillion to go. But I am pumped, baby!

I stumbled onto what might be a significant aid in losing weight: tea. I try to drink a cup before each meal, as an appetite suppressant. Apparently food is squeamish about drowning in the dark, weedy, recesses of Ma's stomach.

Then I'm inevitably lured by the copacetic effects of Chamomile and top off the day with a soothing cup or two. This pretty much ensures the need to postpone bedtime for the finalization of any necessary ablutions brought about by tea exuberance. The inevitable result in this chain of dominoes? Sleeping in, whereby all the kids are forced to obtain their own breakfast.

Ma wins!
________________

On the agenda for today: clearing out the driveway. Should take a good 4-6 hours, even with a crew of five able bodies (the two with heart problems aren't allowed to shovel snow, any more).

However, I believe we'll wait until the temperature rises above zero.

Should knock off another calorie or two!
 

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Safe and Sound

In body, anyway.

Yesterday dawned bright and pinkish, with portents of a storm to come?
That's what the weather people had forecast.

The sky soon became overcast and the Winter Storm Warning took effect at noon, yesterday, though snow did not start falling in our area until after 3pm.

Today the wind kicked in.

By noon or so our stoop looked like this...
...up to the top step.

The rest of the day was the typical swirling white tableau we get out in the country.


I hate to think what the driveway will look like tomorrow! There will be pictures, certainly.

The main angst of the day was wondering whether Jason would come up, as planned. The road reports changed back and forth from "travel not recommended" to "snow covered," north of Cedar Rapids and around Waterloo.

Jason cooled his heels awhile at Ardith and Justin's, keeping tabs on the weather reports. Then he decided to go for it. And after several calls earlier in the day, debating whether to come or not, he ended up not phoning at leave time, which was just as well, for my nerves.

It was almost 4pm and I figured he'd decided to wait it out, but then I got a call. "Hi. Well, I almost made it home....I got stuck in a drift coming off the blacktop, onto the gravel road."

So close!

We formed up a snow shovel posse, realizing the sun was on its way down and visibility would soon deteriorate from the present "poor," to "only-an-idiot-would-go-out-in-this."

Loren took chains and after digging out Jason's wheels, Loren pulled him away from the edge with the White-Van-of-Power (he wasn't actually stuck in a ditch, but in backing away from an nonnegotiable drift, had over compensated and gotten VERY close to the edge of the road. It's extremely difficult to see on a gravel road if the ditches are full of snow, light is fading, and wind is blowing white stuff all the way from South Dakota).

We had to come find Jason by the long way around, and that's how we got home, with Loren backing the minivan up to the paved road and me backing Moby Dick along the same route.

Then it was off to home, with the sun almost completely set, a few drifts to buck through and some "I-can't-see...WHERE IS THE ROAD-spots."

But we are all safely back at the Hoytstead. Thankfully there was enough room at the front of the drive to pull in and park.

Tomorrow will be a heavy snow shoveling day, after the wind dies down, but thanks be to God for bringing us home!
 

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Well...

...the snow started falling between 3 and 4. Can't give definites since I was napping at the time :-)

Other than that, I got my hair cut, mortified the two younger boys by making them do their math, and drank lots of tea.

I'm on my 4th cup now, first one of chamomile. Previously I had two Earl Greys and a Darjeeling.

That's our exciting tea report for the day, ha ha.

Also, I only had one chocolate! Sore throats tend to cut down on the ol' desire. They also cut down on the impetus to hop on the treadmill. I would just germ it up, anyway. It's a little frustrating though, because the first weigh-in report will be Friday, and I'd hoped to have walked off an ounce or two.

Feeling rather punkish from my cold, but hoping to have turned the corner by tomorrow.

Trevor and Ethan are still some sick, but Melinda is better.

*sniff*

Had 5 or 6 killer sneezes...one that actually scared the kids, so the day was not a total waste.

*sniff*

On the thankful end of things, I am SO GLAD my husband is not like the guy in this article.

Imagine spelling "Happy B-Day" with manure! Suddenly, all those weird projects of Loren's don't look so bad...
 

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It's Going to Hit!

A cold, that is. We've had a few sniffles going around and now Ma has caught it. Probably from Trevor-me-lad.

Oh well. Most have fared less than dire, so far.

Also coming, another winter storm. Four to seven inches of powdery snow, followed by winds. I foresee much funnage in the shoveling department. Jason is supposed to come back up on Thursday, the very day when there could be near blizzard conditions.

Yeah, good luck with THAT, Jason....

I did get a few things done, today:

• Some school. Less than intended due to sickage and jetlag from all the travel, yesterday.
  
• Hit the treadmill, two different times!
  
• Only ate 2 chocolates, ALL DAY. (I know..I KNOW)
  
• NAP
  
• Took down the Christmas decorations with mucho helpo from los kiddos.
  
• Fixed palatable supper
  
• Sat in front of computer and tried to remember doing anything else...
  

Just in time for more inclement weather, I've started reading The Children's Blizzard, by David Laskin. It sure to have some heartbreaking portions but also is doing a great job of filling in the ethnic backgrounds of immigrants to our area of the country (blizzard occurred over parts of South Dakota, Nebraska, Minnesota and Iowa). We only delved into the first chapter but already I was struck by an interesting note: Among the groups of people coming to America in the late 1800's were Mennonites from Ukraine. And one of the chief reasons for coming was so their children wouldn't have to attend Russian schools, be conscripted for five years into the military and also, so they could speak German. I just thought that was interesting...coming to America so they could speak German.
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To end on a humorous note, here's an old picture that Kendra found in the closet...


I cropped it, but there was a whiteboard up that had the date: May 1, 2004.

It is interesting for several reasons:

1) You can also tell by the unpainted walls that it was before Loren's transplant. The relatives came in July of that year and gave us a partial extreme home makeover. It made a world of difference to the physical look of things, as well as boosting our spirits!

2) Trevor was 2 and Kendra was nearly 15

3) The expression on Trevor's face and body language are rather reminiscent of a certain older brother and mentor, now grown.

I give you...

Jason, between 2 and 3, I think.

Is there not a the same semblance of maniacal purpose? Of sneaky delight? Of tricksy intent?

And the world trembles...
 

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Eleven Hours Later...

...we arrived home.

Actually, it was 12 hours if you start counting from when we woke up.

Soooo, back from the double appointment with the electrophysiologist in Iowa City. Derek and Carolyn both came away with good reports. The annoying thing-and I realize this will sound weird--was that despite a good week of irregularity, off and on, Carolyn's ECG was the picture of perfection. The lines were so regular you could have used it for grade school penmanship practice.

ANYWAY....they were both fitted with Holter monitors, per the usual. They both had echos, per the usual. And they both hate both, per the usual. But the monitors can come off by 11am, tomorrow.

While waiting at the cardiology lab, I looked at the check-out sheets they had given me, some new form of documentation.

It had Derek's medication listed (among the usual) as:

--Hydrocodone
--oral rinse
--Amoxicillin.

These three were left over from when Derek had his wisdom teeth extracted, and if still current, would mean Derek has been a druggie for the past 14 months!

I straightened that out, the result being that the extra time put us over five dollars at the parking garage.

Somebody should really pay for that extra ten cents....

Moving right along, Carolyn came up with a couple of her great quotes for the day. The first was at Panera Bread, where we were scoffing eats and talking of the increase in highly processed food over the years:

"Everything's getting more refined, except people."

(preach it, sister)

Then it was off to Radio Shack, for Derek, where my first word of advice would be, "Don't go shopping with a male at Radio Shack unless it's warm enough to sit out in the car and read a book."

Inside the store were the usual paraphernalia of cell phones and talking Tyrannosaurus Rexes. But off to one side were the small items that drive men wild. Things like resisters and diodes, all neatly assembled in stack drawers that went over Carolyn's head.

"Wow, you gotta be tall to buy stuff at Radio Shack!" was her comment.

(yes Carolyn...tall and desperate)

Derek would have been perfectly happy to hear the salesman's life story of how he became interested in electronics by dismantling everything in his neighborhood and keeping all the small parts. But when the guy started talking about the Tupperware diode storage bins at his house, I made the remark, "We really need to go, soon..."

I like Tupperware alright, I just don't want some guy tell me about his stash.

We were able to finish our weekly shopping where I got back at Derek by making him come into the grocery store (it was so COLD) and follow us around like a transistor out of radio.

Home by 4:30, and Ma still had enough energy to whip up a tolerable soup out of the leftover roast, as well as homemade cookie bars.

Now it looks as though I have 20 minutes to do the dishes and get the kids headed toward bed...
 

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Brrrrrrrr!

This morning it was -20 when Loren checked the thermometer. Who KNOWS what the windchill was at that moment. It had been -29 before I went to bed, with a warmer air temp.

Anyway, it be COLD. Soon I'll take you on a little frost tour from the inside of our house, 'cause that's where the frost is, heh, heh. So you'll want to stayed tuned for that.

Speaking of El Hubbo, he had to run into Napa today. Napa is second on his list of "Stores Sent From Heaven," the first being Menard's.

ANYWAY, I mentioned that we needed some cheese. Grated cheese in a bag, a veritable luncheon staple. Not too long after he left I got a phone call:

"Hi, it's me." (he always says this when I answer, and one of these days, I am REALLY going to pretend I don't know him) "So, I'm here at the store (by the way, this is a leetle tiny store at the closest town) and there are...30 different kinds of cheese...there's Colby Jack...."

"It doesn't really matter. We usually get yellow cheese, but the kids won't care. Just so it's not too expensive..."

"...uh...Ok...."

Well let me tell you, Loren came home with a tremendous bargain. He got two 16 oz bags of cheese for a little over 3 dollars, total!

I'm going to have to send him shopping more often, ha, ha. He'd probably just as soon have me go to Menard's and pick out stuff for his projects.
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Glad to report that Sharon is safely back in Indiana. She did have some issues with low coolant, but that did not stop her from getting back to her cozy chicken coop in Warsaw.

Jason also returned to Cedar Rapids for a few more days of work. He'll be back up to our house again for a couple days before driving himself and Derek down to Texas.

We simply had a grand time with Ardith and Justin here for 3.5 days. A memorable Christmas, it was.

I neglected to tell about one of my biggest and bestest presents...a used LCD monitor for my computer. From the hubster. Ma loves it! Of course, it has more features than I'll ever use--the screen rotates to be able to read a full length page--but it takes up so much less space. Now I can stack even more stuff on my desk! Yep, more desktop available on which to leave those reminder notes. Like doctor appointments and "Clean off you desk, you incredible slob, you!"

Speaking of pediatric cardiologists, Monday is going to be a BIG day. Derek had an already scheduled appointment with the wonderful Dr. L. and we were also able to get a last minute one for Carolyn on the same day, with another doctor. Carolyn's been having some rhythm irregularities for over a week now, so we hope to go down see what's what. I almost took her in to the local clinic for a 12-lead EKG, but on that particular day, her heart wasn't as whacky as other times...and it's not like we want it to be irregular, but if something could show up so they don't think we're nuts....

The bad part is getting up at 4:30 so we can leave by 5:30 and check in by 8:10. It's down in Iowa City, so it's best to leave 2.5 hours allowance for travel time.

I'll be taking some caffeinated beverages along, you can be sure! And to top it all off, Monday is shopping day, so we'll be stopping in Waterloo on our way back, just to see how much stuff we can cram into Loren's Amazing Lincoln of Startability (as opposed to Ma's Green Dragon Lady Lincoln of non-Dependability).

I hope to get home in time to fix supper. I'm thinking....multiple items from the frozen food section.

And that's all the news from Hoytland, except for misplacing one of the TV remotes, last seen in the hands of a little kid.

It's probably good they can't absentmindedly walk off with the thermostat.
 

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Happy New Yare!

No, that is not a typo.

Yare: quick; agile; lively.

That shall be my motto for the year as I press toward the goal of losing a gazillion pounds.

Oh of COURSE that is an exaggeration...I'm aiming for the more reasonable, gazillion-minus-2, but it's all part of the EMM...Extreme Ma Makeover.

In preparation, I did something I haven't done since before Ardith got married: I stepped on the scale.

Contrary to my fears, no springs came popping out of the device, aided by the fact that they don't makes scales with springs, any more.

But seriously, I wouldn't have heard spring-poppage anyway, since my ears were pierced by the high-pitched sound of two concurrent screams...one from the scale, shrieking in agony, and the other from my own mouth, shrieking in agony.

Ok...ANOTHER exaggeration. Here is the real deal--

I knew I'd gained weight, and I thought of a reasonable number that might appear on the scale...something not too wishfully low, and something not exceeding 300 pounds, and guess what?

I weighed the exact amount I'd thought!

And people say I'm not good in math.

Then I hopped onto ye olde treadmille and did just over a mile. And I'll be back down to the basement-of-horrors, one or two more times today. Going for the shorter-distance--more-often, approach.

As previously mentioned, the supreme food reduction will commence on Tuesday, after the doctor appointments, but I'm already cutting back.

My goal is to be within a certain weight range by the end of May. And even before then, I fully expect my feet to stop hurting whenever I stand up, my left hand to stop falling asleep at night and maybe, just MAYBE, I'll stop snoring, too.

It's not a New Year's resolution so much as a stratagy to prevent Type II Diabetes.

And get back into my favorite pants.

As for today, no big plans other than the possibility of watching the Capital One Bowl for the commercials, or seeing the Rose Bowl later this evening...though that would entail moving the antenna, an exhausting activity in itself.

Speaking of fatigue, the treadmill tired me out, so Big Fat Ma is off to nap-land.
 

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