Out Ioway

My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of Heaven and earth,
He will not let your foot slip-
He who watches over you will not slumber.
-Psalms 121:2,3

 
The ProgenyArdithSharonJasonDerek

Monday, March 31, 2008

Dear World,

 
Going to be another funnish week :-)

First of all, Loren and I are traveling up Mayo-way tomorrow for the purpose of getting some teeth pulled out.

His, not mine.

Anywhere from 3-5, depending on the current status of the doc's finances.

HA! Just kidding, Doc, whomever you are :-D

I love the doctors up at Mayo. They shake my hand when they come in the door, as if to say, "So this is the incredible woman who puts up with this guy..."

HA! Just kidding, Loren, wherever you are :-D

I believe the last wisdom teeth are to be yanked (I'm thinkin' two or three), meaning Loren's gotten all the discernment he will ever get outta them, as well as a baby tooth or two which have had the audacity to stay in situ post age 55.

We will not delve into the implications of what THAT means.

(hey...did you catch the in situ?...man, I coulda been a doctor)

It's a one-day deal and naturally, Ma will be driving back home, leaving the patient free to moan softly on the seat of reclination.

So, I'm thinkin' puddings, soups and yogurts for the rest of the week, heh, heh.

I'll be taking along my diet Coke and bag of Dove's, as this is no time to be exerting undue healthful influences on the ol' bod. I mean, Loren's not going to be enjoying his day, so I feel it only fair that I should.

It's a 'yin-yang' kinda thang.

Oh...and my crossword puzzle book. It'll help compensate for the aspartame drain to my brain.

As always,

I remain unselfishly yours,

Ma
 

Ma Joke #5

 
Two Ma-husbands meet up after their weekend leadership conference at church...

M-h#1 - "Hey, how are ya, brother?"

M-h#2 - "Never better. My wife started a blog and it has changed our entire relationship!"

M-h#1 - "You let your wife have a blog ? Haven't you basically ceded authority over to her? She could be espousing viewpoints you have no control over. I have to believe you've crossed a dangerous line, my friend."

M-h#2 - "No, no...you're missing the whole point. Ever since she started writing on the blog she doesn't talk to me as much...*grins*...leaves me more time for meditation and prayer."
 

Sunday, March 30, 2008

 

 

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Green Tomato Soup

 

As I was wondering the hallowed aisles of Wal*Mart this past week--while three of my children were pouring out their brain cells upon the multiple choice circles of woe--I happened upon these rather disconcerting greenish cans of tomato soup, from Campbell's.

It was hard to miss in a bin by itself, smack in the middle of a main grocery cart artery. I went ahead and bought 4, since they were 40% off the usual exorbitant price. I figured any remaining cost above my usual store brand purchase would be well compensated by the potential blog mileage.

In case you can't read the writing on the back of the can:

"Campbell's condensed soups have a proud history of environmentally friendly packaging.

By letting you add the water at home, we can make the cans smaller, which saves a lot of metal, and lighter, which saves fuel when bringing it to your local store shelf. All this is better for the environment and we're still able to pack all the great ingredients you love inside!"


So then, how much did it cost to change the label from the usual red to green and put the new wording on the back?

And while we're at it, the nifty pull tab opening on top leaves a ridge, making it quite difficult to get ALL the condensed soup out of the can. I think it even causes extra wear and tear on the rubber spatula I use.

Plus, we will never be able to calculate the emotional disappointment incurred by my kids when the soup came out red, instead of the green they'd been expecting.

But really now, the "proud history of environmentally friendly packaging" has more to do with them wanting to save money in production, rather than trying to save fuel used in shipping--though theoretically, that would ALSO save them money, except...when you make the can smaller, don't you just end up putting more cans into the truck??

Hmmmm?

Ah well. It reminds me of "Earth Hour," scheduled for several cities.

I'd wouldn't want to be the local utility when all those lights are switched back on at the same time, heh, heh.
 

Friday, March 28, 2008

You're Never Too Old to Learn

 
Just know that what you learn may not be all that cheery.

Take the Law of Fatversity, fer instance.

This is a mathematically-based axiom that involves numbers, stress, and the inherent inequality between husbands/fathers and wives/mothers.

The basic principles are thus:

1) If a woman spends a two-week period cutting back on her caloric intake and walking 4-5 miles per day, six days a week, and takes extra calcium, B-complex and 6000 milligrams of C per day (since those extra nutrients are supposed to aid metabolism), she will incur a modest weight loss of half a pound.

If she were to take the next two-week period and continue the weekly exercise regimen but put back into her diet the calories previously excised, she would then gain 2 pounds.

Sound incredible? Unbelievable?

You're right.

In reality she would gain 3 pounds and it would only take one week.

Her husband however, can eat anything he wants, put in moderate amounts of exercise--or not--take minimal vitamin supplements and remain lower in weight than his wife, even though he is six inches taller.

2) Stress supposedly raises the levels of cortisol in the body, leading to less sleep, extra weight gain and the inexplicable desire of the wife to sneak additional fat globules into her husband's food.

Said husband does not suffer from this type of stress, as he has delegated that responsibility to his wife, in keeping with the Biblical mandate put forth in Genesis 1, Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3. She is the weaker vessel. Therefore even her blood vessels are fatter than his.

The singular type of stress experienced by the husband is that which causes one to lose weight. But since this version can only be passed down through the Y chromosome, it's 'tough cookies, Mrs. McGillicuddy.'

3) On the plus side, all that Vitamin C means the wife/mother will catch one less cold during the average year. That's good, for if she ever took time off to get sick and had to lay down and rest, she would just gain more weight.

To sum up...life is rigged.
 

Thursday, March 27, 2008

What's Wrong With This Picture?

 

Well, for one thing, it's March.

Late March.

As in...Spring.

Trevor was unable to understand why he couldn't go outside in shoes. After all, they were playing out-of-doors in their shirtsleeves, yesterday.

I may have to take the kid in for counseling....consoling...or something.

Seriously. He started crying when I said he couldn't go outside in his shoes. But once I opened the door and he was standing on the stoop resplendent in his winter gear, able to feel the cold air and watch the snow fall, it made a little more sense to him.

I'll just have to say...this is MOST untimely, particularly since I'd stopped buying those little packets of hot chocolate mix.

However, the weather did not prevent us from participation in the last day of testing, so that's in the bag for another year. But there's something about my third grader glibly mentioning he finished every section before anyone else in his class that makes the ol' stomach churn....

I'll be popping Rolaids for the next month until the scores come back.
 

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Brain Fog

 
It is shortly after 6am. Ma is stumbling around in the bathroom, try not to step on the squeaky parts of the floor and fervently looking forward to a nice, hot wake-me-up shower.

She runs the tub faucet...

("wow...this is cold...man...it's taking longer than usual to get warm...of course, a cold shower would REALLY wake me up...what's the matter with this thing?...what if the water heaters both conked out overnight!...I don't think I can force myself into this freezing water....what's the problem....*looks at tap*....oh...it's only turned on 'cold'...)

And that's how the morning began.
_______________

It is now noon...the kids have just been picked up from their first day of testing.

"Well, what did you think? Hard? Medium? Easy?"

Carolyn: "It was so easy ! The first three sections were just....easy!"

*grins*

Ethan: "Oh...OK. Some of those science questions were annoying."

"Hey, you don't have to get every question right. I'm sure you did fine."

Nolan: "I had to use the bathroom 3 times."

*blinks*
 

Having to get up early...

 
...guarantees one won't get to sleep.

L: "When are you getting up?"

B: "6:02"

L: "Six o'clock?!"

B: "No, six-oh-two"

*smiles sweetly*

B: "Of course, I won't be able to get to sleep, now..."

L: "Don't you have a boring book to read?"

B: "I'll give it ten minutes and then I'm goin' downstairs..."

*goes downstairs*

Hey folks, I've found something even better than a boring book....a website talking about web browsers!

Or how Mozilla Firefox is "going organic." I found this on the HuffPost. It's a slightly interesting interview with just enough geeky references to make me sleepy.

In a word (or two) Mozilla corporation is declaring it's software to be "100% organic." By the VP of marketing, this means that,

"'Organic software' is a concept we came up with that we thought would resonate with end users in ways that 'free software' doesn't."


(in other words, they're just changing their terminology)

"I think for people in the open source movement, the term 'organic' is a lot clearer and immediately graspable."


(I looked up 'graspable'....it's really a word)

"So yes, it's a terminology issue for end users - trying to communicate clearly what practitioners already grok."


('grok,' TOO is apparently a word. Taken from a work of science fiction, Stranger in a Strange Land it means "to understand profoundly." When used in connection with programming, it may merely mean "sufficient understanding." 'Grok' comes from the Martian language...which seems highly reminiscent of caveman talk, if you ask me. I fear this means that besides reading up on all kinds of technical manuals, us techie wannabes also have to digest enormous amounts of sci-fi literature for additional vocabulary)

"The reason consumers prefer organic goods in part are that they are better for you and your family. In a similar way, what we're suggesting is that Firefox is better for you because it's produced in a way that respects the user."


(*nods head* I can respect that...)

"And it is a manifestation of Mozilla's core belief in the importance of providing vehicles for participation on the Internet."


(so basically, they are just changing their terminology to make themselves look better to young "green" folks....though with the VP's use of the term 'vehicles,' we cannot rule out the chance they'll be giving away hybrid cars.)

Well what's not to love? Next thing you know, little pop-ups of spotted owls singing "Kum ba yah" will flash onto the screen.

But wait...the Mozilla marketing VP would like feedback...

"I'd love to hear...from your readers."


Alrighty. Here's a comment from 'JL' Ma can appreciate and yes, even respect:
"Our rapidly growing multi-platform environment has organically evolved to host pop culture semaniticular extollations in order to elevate geekdom toward the non-Cobolic state."


And so....*yawn*...Ma toddles off to bed.
 

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

In which Ma finds her calling

 
As I sit and listen to Joan Sutherland and Marilyn Horn singing The Flower Duet from "Lakme", I am contemplating the large upswing in visitors to the blog yesterday--as evidenced by a gander at the stat counter--and cannot help but think that retelling my varmint-killing experiences might well be the writing niche I've been seeking these past years.

I am grievously tempted to dust off the "Rat Tales," which, while never written down, I can assure you are forever etched in that part of the mind reserved for frightful experiences that one hopes to forget and therefore cannot.

They may not be as fantastical as tales from Stephen King, but unlike his, mine are all true.

But first, I have bigger fish to fry. In fact, I have little fries that need taking to testing on the morrow.

Carolyn, Ethan and Nolan will be rising at the crack of dawn to eat a mind-stimulating breakfast of eggs and bagels, after which we will travel to the great city of Waterloo. There, various homeschoolers will meet for their annual testing assessment held at the building devoted to "Special Education."

*sigh*

SO glad the kids are pretty much over their colds. That illness interrupted the usual routine but I decided to use it for some basic review before testing. This mostly involved Nolan, checking through the four math procedures and their variations.

But more importantly, will the kid have clean socks to wear?

All winter long his drawer had 7-9 pair of socks lying forlorn and unattended. That's because he went barefoot all through the season of snow...at least in the house.

His preferred mode of dress was shorts and a T-shirt.

But with the coming of spring and heightened outdoor opportunities, the sock drawer is empty. Equally amazingly, no socks turn up in the dirty laundry.

Fortunately I discovered two pair of socks in other parts of the house. I have washed and stowed them safely in my bedroom until the appointed days of testing.

I'll just bet that more socks reside in the one-foot-deep mess of his closet floor, but I hesitate to reveal that because I can just HEAR the admonitions from people who keep perfect homes. So I'm not gonna mention it.

Besides, if you had to knock off as many varmints as I've have over the years, you might be missing a sock or three your-selves.

Go ahead....MAKE my day...
 

Monday, March 24, 2008

Today, kindergarten....

...tomorrow, who knows?

*goofing around in kitchen and watching Mommy make supper*

"Mommy? Is 21 plus 5....26?"

*blinks*

"Yes, you clever Bunny! Did you know that because you already knew 1 plus 5 is 6?"

"Mmmm...I guess so...but it was hawd.

"Well, you are very smart to figure that out."

"Yes, that is so twue!"


 

For some, life goes on

 
We've had a strange but good weekend. Nice visit from Ardith and Jason...that's the good part :-)

Loren wasn't feeling well enough to go to church, but he's doing better this morning.

Time for the answers to Saturday's quiz about the 1300 dollar Illinois look-alike cornflake.

The original statements/questions and their correspondents goes as follows:

"That's Illinois??" Melinda

"They forgot the part at the top that goes over to the left..." Derek

"That's Illinois??" (from someone who came in later) Carolyn

"We should be selling cornflakes!" Ethan

I award 2 points to daughter Sharon since even though she restated the four exclamations out of order she did get two people right.

However, I feel I must deduct one half point for not keeping with a consistent format, since she started labeling with numbers and then dropped them for the last two.

Kendra, while not actually getting any people matched up correctly to their corresponding statements, has earned a half point for at least being uniform in her approach.

Prized are yet to be determined.
________________

On a darker note, a certain strange raccoon was accosted on the Hoyt property this past Saturday evening. Said varmint had been observed in that vicinity for more than a week, exhibiting suspicious behaviors and odd mannerisms.

Several times young inhabitants had been advised to remain indoors, due to its nearby presence and unknown intentions.

At one point a pick-up truck was seen driving back and forth on the gravel road, after which the driver stopped and notified the male owner of the home that there was indeed, something "not right" with the raccoon. The Hoyt youngsters were again urged to leave the yard for the safety of their home.

When these events were retold to the capable but slightly unbalanced matron of the homestead, she immediately formed a plan of action.

Ascertaining the proximity of the nearest spade--with which she had formerly garroted a different adult raccoon--she asked the above-mentioned children to notify her at the next sighting of the omnivorous mammal.

The object of intended disposal was espied days later on a Saturday night, conveniently after the casseroles had been placed in the oven. The grim reaper went to work.

She first assigned an older child to keep all young and impressionable offspring far distant from any windows. Shodding feet in boots, she did also don that of jacket-nature, warm enough to ward off chill but light enough to allow any vigorous maneuverings that might be required in the evening's loathe action.

Upon exiting the house, the reluctant but determined female-of-destruction immediately spotted said coon, which began walking slowly away from her. Knowing the raccoon was not traveling with great speed, the human exterminator walked briskly in the opposite direction to hunt up the implement of doom. Upon glimpsing a garden fork lying in the grass, she decided that would do as well and maybe even better.

Armed with the symbolically red-painted spading fork, the woman who felt no-animal-should-hold-her-children-hostage-within-their-own-home strode with firm steps toward the coon in question. It was a matter of five minutes before the beast was sufficiently cornered to commence attack.

Explicit details are being withheld, but we are told that vast amounts of growling, heart-pounding fear, strained muscles, vocalizations of a most pathetic nature, lip-biting, snarling and general freaking-out did most assuredly occur between both parties.

Death took place in a much less timely way than the exterminator had so wished, but the animal was dispatched, though as was mentioned, without overmuch dispatch.

Great amounts of cold air were also inhaled and this, as well as the panting and near-hyperventilating activities of the assassin led to some coughing and lung soreness over the next few days, but it is assumed that she will recover.

Yea though verily, there be dire need of a psychotherapist.
 

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Resurrection Sunday

 

 

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Ma's Iowa Nuggets

 
You can learn a lot of valuable stuff on the treadmill.

Local news, while at times yawningly redundant, is also a tremendous source of humor. Fer instance...what might seem like a simple donut truck purloinment, has evolved into a disagreement over the wording used in a district attorney's news release.

Another career possibility I'll have to cross off my list...
______________

Continuing in the law enforcement theme, not paying a 10 dollar parking ticket can get you arrested at Wartburg college. Considering all the circumstances, it seems a tad harsh.
______________

Want to make a $50.00 dish of macaroni and cheese? I learned how while watching the Food Guru this morning.

You start with the standard cooked and drained elbow macaroni, make a nice sauce with butter, onions, garlic, flour and heavy cream (I've gained 5 pounds, just typing this part), and then add four cheeses, one of which I've never heard of, add the macaroni and then...THEN, you top it all off with lobster tails and and fancy truffles.

OOOoo yeah...my kids will eat that.

Here's Ma's recipe for 50 cent macaroni. You start with a "red box of macaroni and cheese from Wal*Mart," and add some extra cheese.

That's it. Maybe adding the extra cheese (plus the butter and milk called for on the box) would bring it up to 80 cents. One dollar, tops.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out which one I'm gonna serve.
_____________

Not technically about Iowa, but I figure Illinois is close enough. Have you heard of the sisters who sold a cornflake on Ebay for 1300 bucks? It didn't have truffles on it, but there was a resemblance to the shape of Illinois.

I called my kids over to the computer to look at this and here are some of their responses:

"That's Illinois??"

"They forgot the part at the top that goes over to the left..."

"That's Illinois??" (from someone who came in later)

"We should be selling cornflakes!"

Ma will give out prizes to anyone who can place three of the four responses above to the correct children. You can have your choice between bran flakes and frosted mini-wheats.
______________

Ardith and Jason are driving up this afternoon, so Ma is off for a wee nap and shower and then, GOOD TIMES :-)
 

Friday, March 21, 2008

It's Official...

 
...Loren has a sore throat.

So much for his not getting sick.

Derek and I are still hangin' in there :-)

And considering that I've been doing most of the dishes all week and everything else because people are sick (it's just a cold...what'll it hurt if we give the Hoyts a cold?) I'm going to take this hour's time while the bread is rising for a wee nap.

Then I can do some house cleaning later, since I can't do any church cleaning because it's Good Friday. There's a service tonight and no point in cleaning beforehand.

Next year I won't be a church janitor. I look forward to actually being able to enjoy and/or think about the significance of different celebrations during the year without the terrible thoughts of what an inconvenience extra services are to me.

Yes, I know I am a bad girl. Maybe it's because I'm tired of being around sick people and the extra work it entails.

But mostly I am just really tired.
 

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Spring is in the air....

 
...You can tell it from the winter storm approaching for tomorrow.

...and the restless youth. AGWSR high school is in lockdown. My guess is some under-prepared student didn't want to take a test today.

Have I said recently how much I love homeschooling?
___________

The Health Report
  • Mark, Loren's brother: some improved. What he needs now is a long spate of days where nothing untoward happens. We appreciate all the prayers on his behalf.
  • Loren's hand: got x-rayed yesterday. Calcification is starting, though it still needs more healing. No return doctor visit necessary :-)
  • "Les Misérables": had another fever last night, but drugs and sleep have make some amends. Two in light hacking stage. All who got sick definitely on the mend. Loren, Derek and I are still untouched...

___________

At the moment, Trevor and Nolan have brought down sleeping bags and are "camping out" under the play table in the rec room. This is quite preferable to earlier, when Nolan had brought out a large 3-dimensional puzzle, set it up on the table already covered with Legos, worked on it for 5 minutes and then carted down a whole box of trucks from their room. The box of transportation items was immediately ordered back to the second floor. Now it's just two whispering boys playing quietly underneath a table full of very small pieces of things.

___________

Due to the need for recuperation, only Derek and I will be making the library run today. This should be fun...two people handling 120 books.

The sickos will remain at home, watching The Chipmunks and Chicken Little.

It's thematic.
 

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Ma's Newsy Nugget Sickie Report

 
Have I not been telling folks that Iowa is a great place to live? And if you're looking for work, yet another reason to check out the Hawkeye State...we'll be needing 150,000 workers over the next few years.

I personally know of two up and coming youngsters (no, not relatives) who have recently made the Iowa plunge ;-) You may be hearing more about them, later.
____________________

How many people are old enough to remember the comedy Hogan's Heroes ? We used to watch that all the time growing up. My dad liked it for the humor and because he'd been in WWII.

We kids enjoyed it for the clever devices used and the way that the "bad guys" were manipulated and exploited.

As I remember, Sargent Schultz was a favorite. ("I---know---nuss-INK!")

Anyway, one of the crew died on Sunday...Ivan Dixon, who played Sargent Kinchloe.

Married 53 years, and that's pretty good in Ma's book.
____________________

On the home front, the sick kids--or as I like to refer to them, "Les Misérables"-- seem to be on the mend, at least 3 out of 5.

Carolyn was running a slight fever but that seems to have abated.

No one but Derek has done extraordinary amounts of school, but that's alright. Considering yesterday's miseries, today is definitely an improvement.
____________________

In an appalling lapse of cognition, Ma completely forgot about the upcoming EASTER DINNER while shopping yesterday, whereby procurement of the traditional EASTER HAM was omitted, bringing about the necessity of EASTER BURRITOS.

We do hope this will not reflect negatively on Ma's survey feedback from her underlings. She was SO hoping to get a raise this year...
 

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Los Sickos

 
We were SO CLOSE to making it through winter without any significant sickness.

However, with five of six kids waking up with sore throats (some started last night) it is no longer possible to deny the obvious.

Peoples are sick.

Well waddya know, it's Tuesday....

Never mind. I won't go into that again.

Hopefully it will be a passing cold and no more. The fact that this year's flu vaccine was not terribly effective has made me a little nervous. As long as the three who are getting their yearly academic testing next week are recovered, I'll be happy.

And as long as Loren doesn't get sick, I'll be happy.

And if this virus doesn't do something weird to Derek's heart rhythm I'll be happy.

See? It doesn't take that much to make me happy ;-)

"I guess I'll be doing the dishes all day..." I was heard to casually mention.

"Oh Mommy, that's too bad you have to do that just because we're sick," came the sympathetic reply.

"That's alright. It's much better than that time we all had the flu and I was leaning over the sink, barely able to stand and washing dishes with my very bones aching...."

But truly, we mothers care not.

It's nothing.

Really.

'Tis but our pleasure to serve in humble silence.

All we ask is that we may have the privilege to bring it up incessantly in the future.

So as I was washing the breakfast dishes, I noticed the stove really needed a good wiping off. Also the cupboard doors and drawers, as well as what few remaining knobs are ON the drawers.

Then I noticed the dirty cafe curtain and remembered a load of wash I could add it to....and since I'm going shopping today, it certainly wouldn't hurt to clean out the refrigerator first.

This is just one example of how sick children add to a mother's work load.

I did notice that if I was going to do a REALLY good job wiping down the cupboards, it would take enormous amounts of time....and that's when I remembered that after 25 years of marriage my "pro bono" clause had elapsed, reverting to my back-up "lick and a promise."

Not exactly sure if Loren and I talked about that specifically before marriage, but of course some of that is assumed, heh, heh.

How fortunate that today is shopping day, most of which will be taken up in purchasing the following supplies:

-zinc lozenges
-tissues (have opened the last box)
-garlic
-vitamin C
-children's Motrin
-hand sanitizer

You can be sure that Ma is slurping zinc and snorting Zicam in wild proportions with the unrealistic hope of staying well.

In the meantime, I take comfort in the age old wisdom, "With every cloud (of sick kids) comes a silver lining."

Or in this case, a clean refrigerator.
 

Monday, March 17, 2008

St. Patrick's Day

 
*sigh*

Ain't no way I'm a gonna do a history on this guy. TOO MUCH INFO! Some of it is a little sketchy, anyway.

As to why this holiday is celebrated on today's date...March 17 could be the day he was kidnapped around age 15/16 and carted off by pirates to Ireland--in which case he probably wasn't called "Saint" yet. March 17 is sometimes listed as the day he died.

Or, perhaps people just needed a greenish holiday about this time of year.

Speaking of which, when St. Patrick's Day falls in Holy Week, many liturgical churches do not celebrate the day as they usually would, since it rather presses upon Palm and Easter Sundays.

As for snakes being driven out of Ireland...No. Didn't happen.

St. Patrick is credited however, with the creation of a "Celtic Cross," where a sun or circle is placed at the center of the cross bars. As a missionary to Ireland later in his life, St. Patrick could well have used some pagan symbols (the natives worshiping the sun) to make Christianity seem less foreign.

In some countries St. Patrick's day is a time when people go to church and offer up prayers for missionaries. Now that sounds pretty good to ol' Ma :-)

Missionaries can always use our prayers.
______________

In other news, "it has been a dreary day." (that's a quote from Loren. I'd refer to him as "Pa," but he really hates that name, so being the dutiful and submissive wife that I am, I refrain from calling Loren "Pa" as much as is humanly possible. Isn't that right, Pa?)

Loren has been immersed in a computer quandary for the past two days....something...we do not know just what, but SOMETHING is continually running on the server computer.

It could be a worm...it could be some spyware related program.

It could even be a nefarious plot by Microsoft to contaminate and crush our Linux operating system.

The Instant Messenger blips on and off at random times.

WHATEVER it is, an ominous and sinister tone has settled about the house.

We wait.

We watch.

We....*glarukkkk*
 

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Still More Prayer

 


As we all know, there is never a time when someone, somewhere isn't in need of prayer. But I would put out an additional plea for Loren's brother, Mark.

Mark has just undergone the worst two weeks of his life, filled with many ups and downs. Make that one or two "ups," the rest all "downs."

Whether it is still getting used to the medication (and two additional increases) or what, Mark is light-headed, dizzy and somewhat hesitant to move. This last may be due to the most recent shock, which occurred while merely stretching. (he's been shocked 3 times since that first day of five shocks)

It has been a tremendous upheaval for him, for his wife and children and for the extended family which are thankfully close by and can help out.

I obviously can't convey what it feels like personally. But I can remember the responses when Loren got shocked. It was amazing how many people felt it was a reason to rejoice, "Well praise the Lord! The device worked, eh?"

Mmm, yes...and it means the person was in cardiac arrest, again, and who knows when it will happen the next time?

And that's only one aspect. There are all kinds of issues regarding medication, and the change of life for the patient and his family. It's like being dumped into another world. Other people can't understand. They still see you as being in their world and that only adds to the stress one already has from the situation.

But I won't go into all that. Just asking everyone who can do so, to pray.

Thank you.

{evening update} Loren called Mark this afternoon and was glad to hear his brother is feeling somewhat better at the moment.

We do appreciate all the prayers on Mark's behalf.
 

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Ides of March

 
"Ides of March plus eight....birthday of my spouse and mate."

I can still hear my dad saying those words. Words he put together to remember Mom's birthday :-)

Hey, it works, particularly if you remember it before the 23rd of March.
__________

As most of us know, the Ides of March are famous for having been the day that Caesar was assassinated in the year 44 BC.

The phrase "Beware the Ides of March" is taken from Shakespeare's play Julius Caesar. Now what MA wonders, is this:

Have peoples' historical knowledge taken on the sweet invention of the poet's pen? Do we have the idea that real history involves a soothsayer warning Caesar simply because Shakespeare wrote that immortal line into his play? Or did that small event not happen? Methinks not.

Ma welcomes input. Do more research than I have and prove your point.

But getting back to today's date...what does 'Ides' mean?

Simply, "the fifteenth of the month." There can be an 'Ides of May,' 'Ides of July' and 'Ides of October.' The months without 31 days would have their 'Ides' on the 13th :-)

Ides comes from the Lain word idus, meaning "the eighth day after nones."

OOOoo, you just gotta love Latin!

  • Kalends (1st day of the month)
  • Nones (the 7th day in March, May, July, and October; the 5th in the other months)
  • Ides (the 15th day in March, May, July, and October; the 13th in the other months)


Now just counting up "the eighth day after Nones (7th)" one might think, HUH, that doesn't come out to the 15th.... but you see, the Romans were 'inclusive,' meaning they counted both the starting and ending days (7th and 15th)

And just what does 'nones' mean? Hee, hee...here is the fun part....it means "ninth day before the ides of each month!"

Now for 'Kalends.' It was the first day of the month, when accounts and bills were due. Sometime over the course of years, the 'K' was changed to a 'C' and so 'Calends' became the basis for several words in our language, most notably, Calendar.

And speaking of calendars, the Romans used to start their year in March, as in, "It's spring, baby...time fer a new year!" We get the names for several months from the lovely Latin language: September, October, November and December. They correspond to the Latin number words: septum, octo, novem and decem, (7, 8, 9 and 10).

And yet, these months are the 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th ones for today's calendar...what gives?

It all made sense when the year started in March :-)

Later, the Romans decided it might be handier to have 12 instead of 10 months, so they added Ianuarius and Februarius to the head of the year. (old Roman Alphabets did not have a 'J,' but used an 'I.')

It gets cooler and cooler, no?

The elected Roman consuls would take their new offices on the Ides of March. However, back in 153 BC the Roman Empire was having rebellion problems with the folks out west--your basic Spain and Portugal. That year they didn't wait for March but elected and put the new consuls into office on the Kelands of Ianuarius (1st of Jaunary)

By the time ol' Jules came along, the elections were not in March any more. So when Shakespeare uses a soothsayer to announce, "Beware the Ides of March," was it a forewarning of doom? Or an historical reference to when the old elections had taken place?

Bill's no longer around to ask, but the ruminations are still interesting.

Most people today have a negative association with the phrase, "Ides of March." But as long as your name beith not 'Caesar,' I wouldn't worieth too much...
 

Friday, March 14, 2008

Signs of Spring

The first robin!
I had several kids tell me that they AND the husband had seen robins a coupla days ago but hey, they didn't tell me so I'm sorry, but it--just---doesn't---count.

Besides, I gots the picture. For all I know, the others coulda been makin' stuff up.

Anyway...I have proof that will hold up in a court of law.

The field runoffs this year are especially heavy, most of the snow having been there since early December.
Our county is among several in Iowa that have been under flash flood warnings now and again.

Ma is making extra efforts to not end up in the ditch.
 

Ma's Newsy "Happy Pi Day" Nuggets

 
Yes, it's Pi Day again. March 14 or 3.14 as we quaint Americans like to notate our dates.

One does feel sorry for the folks over in Europe and New Zealand and wherever, who will never know the sublime joys of celebrating Pi Day. (pardon my smirking) "Across the pond" and "down under," the month comes second and say now, there ARE no months after the number twelve, thus, they can only come close by celebrating the 12th of December.

I guess.
____________

Now, while most of us don't need the intricacies of 100 decimal places of Pi to run our lives, small things can run or ruin them, nonetheless.

Take this mouse which delayed a plane for five hours in Des Moines.

It figures.
____________

How would you like to return home to a news conference announcing your death? What I want to know is...who's gonna pay for the decking that was ripped up to look for the bodies?

That'll never happen to us for the following reasons:

1) Loren and I won't be free to leave on a last minute getaway for another 13 years.

2) By the time we contacted all the kids ahead of time, the weekend would be over.

3) It would be nearly impossible to find a nature preserve located right next to a technology fair.
________________

Happy Pi Day, everyone :-)
 

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Hols of the Day

 
It may be almost spring, folks, but it's also Ear Muff Day!

More on that , later.

On to...

This Day in History

1852--Uncle Sam cartoon figure made its debut in the New York Lantern weekly

1868--Senate begins President Andrew Johnson impeachment trial

1884--US adopts Standard Time

1887--Chester Greenwood of Maine patents earmuffs

1888--Great Blizzard of 1888 rages

1915--Dodgers manager Wilbert Robinson tries to catch a baseball dropped from an airplane, but the pilot substituted a grapefruit

1925--Tennessee makes it unlawful to teach evolution

1938-- Anschluß-Austria annexed by Nazi Germany

1980--Ford Motor Co found innocent in death of 3 women in a fiery Pinto

1993--Blizzard of '93 hits north-east US

2008--Hoyt Family orders their garden seeds

Wow...there is almost too much to discuss! But we shall try.

The mention of blizzards and earmuffs should remind us that even though spring is just around the corner, inclement weather can still come.

First, Chester Greenwood. He may have dropped out of grammar school (probably refers to elementary school) but this guy was a doer. Read more, here.

There were two memorable blizzards of 1888. The first occurred out in the great plains, on January 12th. Sometimes called The Children's Blizzard, it took the lives of various children and teachers who were stranded at school or attempted to walk home during the storm. Here is a personal account from a boy who lived to tell his story.

The second storm was on the east coast and though the wind speed was not up to blizzard strength, it dumped incredible amounts of snow, nonetheless. For several stories from that snowfall, check here. At least read through the first one, if you want to hear how a man was kicked by a dead horse.

As to Wilbert Robinson, this former major league catcher had become a manager when he decided to participate in a 1915 spring training stunt: catch a baseball dropped from an airplane being flown at 525 feet. There are two stories...1) that outfielder Casey Stengel convinced the pilot to substitute a grapefruit, and 2) that the Ruth Law, the aviatrix (Latin word which designates a woman flyer--cool, huh?) simply forgot the baseball and dropped a handy grapefruit, instead.

At any rate, it splattered all over Mr. Robinson, who momentarily feared he was dripping blood. The laughter of the surrounding guys convinced him otherwise.

1925 and the law banning the teaching of evolution as man descending from lower animals. Yes, The Butler Act was the very statute used to try John T. Scopes in the "Scopes Monkey Trial." What some may not realize is that Mr. Scopes lost the trial, so in a sense, the teachings pertaining to Creation won. What still others may not know is that the conviction was overturned on a technicality: the judge having set the fine instead of the jury.

The Ford Pinto decision is interesting to me for several personal reasons. First, a little background: three related girls had just gassed up their Pinto and were driving down highway 33 near Elkhart, IN, approximately 3 miles from our house. The gas cap, not having been put back on properly, fell off and the the driver stopped in the right lane of the four-lane highway to retrieve it.

Probably not a good idea, but the newly refurbished highway had been built with high curbs along the side, so no one could pull off the road....anyway, a van came up behind, smashed into the Pinto at 55 miles per hour. The car exploded in flames and two of the girls died soon after. The driver died later at the hospital.

The driver of the van who rear-ended the pinto had open containers of alcohol as well as marijuana.

So right away you have several potential problems:

1) Pintos with gas tanks that were known to be a problem
2) Driver made an unwise decision to stop
3) Van driver who was DUI
4) Curbing which prevented exit of highway in emergency

My summer job between my freshman and sophomore college years was office work for the uncle of those three girls. My brother happened upon the accident shortly after it happened, and well...I doubt he cares to share what he saw. The accident site was fairly close to our home and the ensuing trial against Ford was quite the big deal.

Ford Motor Company was indicted on three counts of reckless homicide, the first indictment on criminal charges of a corporation, in fact.

An eleven dollar fix per car could have remedied some of the potential problems with the exploding gas tank. But when Ford did its cost analysis of the situation, they found that accounting for the potential crashes, deaths, severe burns, etc and what they would cost, what the company might pay in litigation would actually be less than the cost of recalling all of the Pintos.

It gives one faith in humanity, no?

Lee Iacocca was instrumental in developing the Pinto, which was introduced to the public in 1970. But Lee was not quite around by the time of the 1978 crash. He was fired from his job as president of Ford in July of that same year.

In the end, the Ford Company got off, but they suffered damage from that litigation for years.

Methinks companies are a trifle more careful, these days. At least I hope so...

The highway curbing was altered, adding emergency pull-off bays every so often to facilitate drivers with problems.

One more little mention, The Blizzard of 1993. This was termed "The Storm of the Century." While it did not dump as much snow as the ones mentioned in 1888, it was significant in that it brought snow to southern states which had NO facilities for removing it. It was indeed a huge monster, reaching from Central America to Canada.

If nothing else, we learn that snow can happen in March!

History:   once you get going it's just so hard to stop...
 

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

This post...

...is for all the mothers out there who sometimes find they can-NOT sleep, particularly when they have this overwhelming feeling that something is very wrong, somewhere, and they start praying madly for everyone they know, especially their children, who would just shake their collective heads and laugh if they knew, except they don't know because being oblivious to thoughts of impending doom for....oh, the next 60 years, they're asleep, as are all the intelligent and pious people who could gladly share a verse or twenty about how those who are fully trusting the Lord never have trouble falling asleep.

MUST chill out.

Instead, I will concentrate on how Trevor has dressed himself for the past two mornings.
 

Bridal Shower

 
Rebekah's Shower


This will mean more to my offspring, who know Rebekah, but it's only 10 pictures so hey, what can you lose?
 

"Dear Rebecca S. Hoyt,

For years now, many Iowa drivers age 50+ have been able to lower their rates substantially by switching to the AARP Auto Insurance Program from The Hartford. Regardless of whether they were previously insured by large, national companies or by smaller, regional carriers.

The primary reason, not surprisingly, is the drivers themselves.

You and your fellow drivers in that age category belong to a safer class of drivers, who have more experience on the road and take more care behind the wheel."


Yes folks, it's another milestone. Ma has been officially contacted by the AARP. I am now a certified "old geezer."

Now let's explore a couple of key phrases in the above quotation:
"You and our fellow drivers in that age category belong to a safer class of drivers..."

I like that, I really do. Not only does it make me look good in front of the kids--yes, I showed it to Ethan, especially--but it is absolutely true.

However, I'm sorta confused with one little segment...
"...take more care behind the wheel."

I keep getting a mental picture of oxygen tanks, a hairdresser primping the driver from the back seat, and another person with a watering can asking, "are we feeling a little thirsty this morning?" while they drizzle the H2O over a gray head with silver/blue tints.

"P.S. A flip-open clock/calculator will be sent to you--absolutely free--just for comparing rates. There's no cost or obligation."

It's tempting, but I'm gonna hold out for the rototiller.
________________

In other news, the warming weather and other occurrences have brought Ma back to her formerly cold desktop computer corner!

Yes, it's ALL MA, ALL THE TIME!

I feel just like Laura Ingalls in The Long Winter, "Pa, the Chinook is blowing!"

The kids are a little sad, since I'm not in the living room as much to keep tabs on their getting distracted from schoolwork. Sometimes they would try to engage me in some rousing discussion...yeah, like I'm gonna fall for that.

Love the real keyboard again, though I find myself searching for the little red mouse button in between letters "g" and "h."

I'll be able to listen to real music with REAL SPEAKERS :-D

*is happy*
______________

More good news: some cage rattling went on down Texas way. Loren's brother Mark got in to see a doctor and they turned his pacemaker up higher. The increased heart rate makes him feel better! Also, he was back in the hospital for some tests but is supposed to get out today tomorrow.

Again, thank you for the prayers.
 

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Resting up

I foresee no postos longos today, so count your blessings :-)

Ma is most fatigued.

I do want to get to a bridal shower this evening, even though I was too tired to buy the present yesterday. I figure the shower date is a one-time deal. Shopping can happen anytime.

Too much lost sleep has brought on a migraine. Or possibly it was those 6 Cokes I drank over two days to keep awake.

I think brain cells are oozing out of my left eye, but that could just be my imagination.

Going back to bed for my second nap of the day as soon as I take more pills...
 

Monday, March 10, 2008

Another day, another 275 miles

 
Right off the bat, I'd have to say that getting up at 4:21 is not my idea of fun. (why "4:21" you ask? I'm funny that way...I hardly ever set the clock for straight on the half hour or even in five-minute increments. I like something more snazzy, such as 7:43 or 4:21)

Besides being quite early, it is also amazingly dark, with the inside lights making the contrast all the more stark. But what's more important...that certain people can work on their Calculus and Algebra 1/2? Or that almost 50-year-old eyes see halos around all of the lights?

The sun started coming up just after we passed Waterloo...or it might have been Cedar Rapids....it's so hard to tell when one is asleep.

(by the way, if anyone is passing through Cedar Rapids and on to Iowa City, I'd beware of the potholes down the middle and sides of the road. They average 6-8 inches deep and are the same width. Pray you don't have to change lanes)

Ma kept herself awake via a 20 oz diet Coke. This necessitated an extra rest stop but sacrifices have to be made. I figure I've had the equivalent of three large cokes each of these past two days and now that the long drives are over I hope to be pop-free, again.

The check-ups went well for Derek and Carolyn. It's a matter of routine, meant to watch for changes. Echos and EKG's just take time, as does breaking in a new resident or fellow or whatever the current "helper" is for each check-up. (on an unrelated note, did you know you can fit six people into a 7x5 room, including desk, sink and exam table?)

The Report:
--Derek and Carolyn both had echos done, including the carotid artery in the neck. (apparently they'd never had the latter done in the past)
--ejection fraction = 60 to 69 percent, which is quite normal and good. Also, they both have a slight mitral valve prolapse, which we knew beforehand
--Derek's EKG showed a Junctional rhythm
--Carolyn's was a sinus rhythm

Junctional rhythm has an inverted P wave, which you can see here. Compare it to the normal one at the sinus rhythm site and you can see the difference. The P wave being the little one before the BIG one that goes "up." Oh yes, I shoudda been a doctor.

No big revelations from the check-up. Derek goes back in 6 months--barring something unforeseen--and Carolyn will return in a year.

Ma also brought up the question as to whether Derek should take Physics next year, he being quite sick of Calculus, time and material-wise. Of course the good Doctor L. gave a vote for physics, claiming he often calculates rates and angles and such while in the course of falling. Not sure if we believed him. The lady observing the other doctor-person just happened to be a former math teacher so SHE put in her vote for Physics or at least Statistics, and thus Derek was rather outnumbered.

Ma may come up with some creative alternative that Derek would truly enjoy, but until that time it is certainly nice to know that all the docs concur in making teenagers miserable.

The appointments having started at 8:00, we finally pulled out of the University of Iowa Hospitals complex at 11:50, with Derek and Carolyn both sporting 24 hour Holter monitors.

We felt there might just be strength enough to drive to Cedar Rapids to eat, where the most amazing thing happened...Ma went to two new destinations and did not get lost!

Yes, and I have witnesses to prove it. That, plus getting to Ardith's yesterday with NO wrong turns means Ma's brain can work above minimal capacity. For short periods, anyway.

Owing to a real boon of coupons, we dined at the famous Chez Hardeez, where mother and son took advantage of a "buy one Jalapeño thick burger, get one free," offer. I would just like to say that these babies are scrumptious! though messy. They don't seem that hot, until you get towards the end and notice the back of your throat burning.

I would caution people against the bacon cheddar fries, however. Not exactly up to Ma's expectations. And don't worry, we only shared one batch of killer fries between us. Didn't want anyone thinking we had acted irresponsibly upon leaving the cardiologist, hee, hee :-) (Hey...it's electrical, not cardiovascular, people...so no Ma-bashing, please)

And I don't think I would have made it home without the free refill of diet Coke. (notice the "diet?" I can be "good")

From there it was a simple matter of arriving alive in Waterloo to shop for the week. Carolyn and I were dragging ourselves around the store like limp noodles. (Derek had retired to the car and his Calculus after finding what he needed)

The journey home was semi-sleepy, but leftover ice chips in Ma's coke cup saved the day.

Approaching the homestead I spied something black and white ambling down the gravel road...

...which was a little dicey as the skunk in question was heading toward our house.

This image is a tad weird, the head not being easily discerned, but there are only so many risks I will take when I'm driving 25 feet from a skunk with the window rolled down in the Green Dragon Lady Lincoln.

Of course, it would have been different had I been driving Loren's car.

I'm pretty sure the skunk had a head, though.

And now, I really think I must retire from travel for the rest of the week.

Counting the minutes until bedtime...
 

We is back :-)

 
Safe and sound.

More reportage, later.

Must crash...
 

Sunday, March 09, 2008

More prayer

 
For Loren's brother, Mark.

He is still having real struggles with his heart. There seems to be some infection, either viral or bacteria--we don't know--that is complicating matters.

It is very, very difficult.
________________

I have another early wake-up call tomorrow and lots of driving and two looonnng cardiology appointments for Derek and Carolyn, so I'd appreciate prayer for safe travel, helpful info from the check-ups and everyone who is at home to get along, heh, heh.

Thanks SO much to those who pray.
 

King of the Birds

 

Couldn't wait to go through all the pictures...just had to put one up.

It's not the best focus but I like the look of this grand fellow against the sky.
 

Ma is Back!

 
Kendra should be back to Grace pretty soon and Ma has some pictures, she thinks :-)

That'll come later after I download my photos...but first, BREAKING NEWS!!

I stopped by Ardith's place to drop off Jason's mail and another item. The son informed me that his sister wasn't there. Do you know WHY she wasn't there?

Because...

...Ardith was off buying softball equipment since she's joining her work group's team!

Yes, it's true.

*sigh*

My little girl...all grown up and and joining the company softball team.

*is proud*
 

Saturday, March 08, 2008

That Diet Lifestyle Thing

 
Good thing I'm not on a "diet," 'cause it was one--weird--week! And it ain't over yet...

Treadmill Report:

Monday--2 miles
Tuesday--1 mile
Wednesday--5 miles
Thursday--1 mile
Friday--5 miles
Saturday--3.5 miles

That makes a daily average of 2.916666666 (etc) over six days. All things considered, that's not as bad as I'd feared.

I didn't weigh myself today or yesterday but as of Thursday I was back down to where I was. Not goin' for a weekly weight loss, necessarily, though I'll welcome any that comes :-) Just trying to keep to basically healthy habits and the ol' bod should shape up gradually over time. That's the theory, anyway.

On another note, I would appreciate your prayers for safe travel over the next two days. Tomorrow morning I am going to drive Kendra and another young lady down to Muscatine to meet up with another student who will drive them all back to Indiana in her car.

That's a six hour drive, there and back, with a (hopefully) short break to go take pictures of bald eagles on the Mississippi :-D

MONDAY will be another killer, driving Derek and Carolyn down to Iowa City (almost as far as Muscatine) for their long and VERY EARLY check-ups with the pediatric electrophysiologist. We'll get groceries on the way back and it will be an all day affair.

'Fraid I'm gonna need a diet Coke or two to stay awake, but that's allowed every 6 months or so in my new diet lifestyle.

Ciao, baby.
 

Hols of the Day

 

Today in History

1838--US mint in New Orleans begins operation (producing dimes)

1911--International Women's Day (1st celebrated in Europe)

1913--Internal Revenue Service begins to levy & collect income taxes

1934--Edwin Hubble photo shows as many galaxies as Milky Way has stars

1948--Supreme Court rules relg instructions in pub schools unconstitutional (I believe they mean “...religious instruction in public schools...”)

1958--William Faulkner says US schools degenerated to become babysitters

2008--Derek and Melinda Hoyt attend the Butler County Republican Convention

The Edwin Hubble above is the same one for which the Hubble Space Telescope was named. A short bio can be found, here. One of the wonderful (and annoying) aspects of the Internet is that it takes very little effort to find some historical fact and then start chasing interesting rabbit trails off into the sunset.

I'm always looking for the bits of history behind events, and one popped up in regards to this next day...

Some roots of International Women's Day sprang from socialist beginnings and also had connections to labor organizations. In early years, IWD helped commemorate a great tragedy that occurred in New York City, the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire. (if you go to this site, I wouldn't recommend scrolling down past the first picture unless you have a strong stomach)

146 girls, average age 19, died in a horrible fire. It is said to be the greatest workplace disaster until September 11, 2001. Some sites suggest 148 died, which could be explained by the injured taken to the hospital and later perishing there.

I may have said this before, but the term "women's rights" doesn't have to be outrageous examples of privilege. It can certainly refer to an attitude and environment where the elements of common decency are enjoyed.

And really, it's more a matter of the human condition as a whole, and not just women.

We have it pretty good in America, and it's my understanding that IWD is more of a celebratory day overseas.

The historical background is always interesting and I encourage everyone to look up a topic and pursue it!
 

Friday, March 07, 2008

Key Lime Pie

 
I saw this while stompin' off 2.5 miles on the treadmill before lunch...one of those noon news shows.

Haven't tried it yet, but looks yummy.

Key Lime Pie (by some chef, somewhere in Iowa)

2 cans sweetened condensed milk
4 egg yolks
1/3 cup key lime juice
lime zest, if desired

mix this junk together and pour into pie shell...graham cracker crust is good.

Bake at 350 degrees for about 30-40 minutes.

Let cool 'bout an hour.

Sounds simple, no?

I just want people to remember this, no matter what I post about tomorrow :-D
 

Oh, the incongruity

 
  • It's less than two weeks until spring. That must be why it's going to get down to 5 or 10 below zero tonight.
  • Kendra's candy bar of yesterday had less calories than my protein bar. It doesn't pay to be good.
  • The "dark" hot chocolate mix has more calories per packet than the regular variety.
  • "Did you know you have seventy tabs open on your computer?!?"

    "Wow...I though it was only fifty or so..."

    "Why does anyone need that many tabs open?"

    "See...I have a LOT of interests."

 

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Adventures With Ma

This week on Adventures with Ma, we hitch a ride with her and Kendra, as the spring breaker works in an eye doctor appointment on her week off from college.

Right from the start the situation grows tense...Ma's car is almost out of gas, and yet, she strives to make it to a gas station 19 miles away, where she can utilize her nifty Casey's gift card...

Oh Ma, is that wise? What if you run out of gas? What if your daughter has a nervous breakdown wondering whether she'll get to her appointment on time, especially if you make her walk 2 miles to the nearest gas station and back?

Never fear! Ma's instincts are right on track. The Green Dragon Lady Lincoln easily makes it 10 miles past the "O gallons left" beep.

The ride continues uneventfully to the Wolfe Eye Clinic. Daughter Kendra passes her exam with flying colors. No new lenses are needed and yes, it looks like she'll remain in the will for yet another year.

Onward to our favorite Waverly used clothing store...

Oh joy! A bag sale!


This wonderful resale shop is located next to a quaint restaurant entitled...
With a name like that, even roadkill sounds delectable.

But getting back to the wonderful sale...what IS a bag sale, one might ask?

A "bag sale" is when whatever clothing one can fold, roll and stuff into a paper bag can be procured for five dollars!

The clouds are parting and heavenly sunbeams shine down upon the lucky blessed womenfolk. It would certainly seem their shopping trip has taken a most providential turn.

They discreetly high-five each other and enter in.

Much sorting and choosing ensues. The dressing room is inadvertently hogged appropriated by someone with more than three items to try on. We won't name names, but she attends a small Christian college in Indiana...

In the end, the two come away with forty dollars of clothing for the unheard of price of 10 buckeroos.

A moment of silence is observed in the parking lot.

But wait! Thinking not only of physical adornment, the two fearless shoppers have also procured reading materials! Yes, some from the "three hardbacks for 25 cents" box!

It is a find almost unheard of.

In the spirit of helpfulness and not in any way to be confused with boastful bragging, a partial list of boughten books follows:

Cheaper by the Dozen (known modus operandi of the Hoyts)
God Emperor of Dune (a potential means of bribery for one of the older children)
The Story of Doctor Dolittle (a thinly veiled biography of the Hoyt family)
Hello Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle (Ma thinks the title to be a giggle)
Robert Frost: The Trial by Existence (sounds cultured, no?)
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner (Ma plans to save this one for when she is excessively exuberant)
The Historus by Herodutus (this one cost a little more-25 cents)
La Chute by Camus (oops, in the original French...Ma may know someone she can palm this off on)
The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoyevsky (again, for a whopping 25 cents)
Martin Luther: Selections From His Writings by John Dillenberger (compensates for the Stephen King book Ma might possibly have bought...perhaps)

An excellent harvest, to be sure.

The savvy twosome heads for home, secure in the knowledge that their time and money was well spent and quite possibly, celestial choirs are singing.

As the sun slowly sinks into the west, what should appear before Ma's alert eyes, but a nefarious herd of deer, grazing amongst the dead cornstalks.
The daughter estimated 18 to 24 beasts. We can trust her judgment. She's in college, after all.

"Why is that weird lady in the dirty green car looking at us?" one small doe was heard to ask of her mother.
Some questions are best left unanswered.

Following the deer sighting, it was mere minutes until the deadly shopping duo arrived home. The boys noticed the paucity of masculine clothing to which Ma replied, "Funny, how it always works out that way..."

Some things must simply be accepted on faith.

And that's all,

about Adventures with Ma...

 

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Been busy

 
Apologies for not posting.

Several momentous events have all fallen upon this week that have kept Ma runnin'.

Today was the only possible free day to stay home....if I didn't go to prayer meeting. So yes, I'm staying home and yes, I am a bad person. Oh well, won't be the first time.

Tomorrow is an eye doctor appointment for Kendra as well a replacement lens pour moi.

Friday is some church cleaning and Saturday is more church cleaning, PLUS I'll run Derek and Melinda over to the county seat for their county convention junior delegate duties which mainly includes not falling asleep. Ha, ha! Of course I'm kidding. They're really going so they can sign up for the district convention :-D

Sunday I'll take Kendra to meet up with her ride back to college and I'm not sure if that means a 30-minutes trip to the highway or a 3-hour drive down to Muscatine.

Monday will be another biggie as I leave EARLY to take Derek and Carolyn down for their check-ups with the pediatric electrophysiologist in Iowa City. I can hardly wait to get up at......4:15? That can't be right....OK, I can sleep in until at LEAST 4:20.

Oh yes...for the second time in 8 days, the Hoyt Household has received no mail!

If that's not a conspiracy, I don't know what is.
 

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Ma's Newsy Nuggets

 
After 5.5 hours of cleaning, Ma would just like to say "Whew, baby !" Couldn't have done it without those two protein bars and the bottle of water.
____________

Friends of Bugs, unite! There's a teacher in Eagle Rock who won't let creepy crawlies be killed in her classroom.

Eagle Rock's in California, by the way. I'm just sayin'.....
____________

Ma has two "Oh brother !" Media Awards going out tonight:

The first goes to Matt Drudge, who spilled the beans on Prince Harry being on the front lines.

Let's hear it for the public's right to have the royals ratted out. The power to affect others' lives must be too hard to resist, at times.

And the second award? Rush Limbaugh, for encouraging Texas Republicans to vote for Hillary in hopes of continuing the Democratic "soap opera."

Just the kind of political shenanigans to cure America of its cynicism.

It's enough to drive a person to brownies.
 

Monday, March 03, 2008

Arte de Nolan

 
Welcome once again, to more outstanding work of that budding artist, Nolan Joseph Hoyt.

We see below, two recent works from the "Godzilla Series." We are not sure, but it is highly probably that these were inspired by recent viewing of the Bunny Birthday movie, Godzilla's Revenge.
First let us define our monsters: from left to right, Rodan is flying, three-headed Ghidrah is blasting, and Mothra, the slug-like creature to the lower right, is....performing slugful operations of some sort.

Immediately we notice the superb contrast illustrated in this picture. Three monsters are doing dreadful deeds and yet, the sun shines. A metaphor on life, no?

Now, let us look more closely at these creatures.

The flying Rodan appears to be doing a very credible impression of Icarus. "Be wary, O Soaring One! Do not fly too close to the sun!" we are tempted to cry out...until we remember that Rodan is nasty monster-type, and then...well, perhaps then we do not care so much.

Three-headed Ghidrah is most formidable. From two of the heads flow lightning bolts of terrible fury. From the middle one we are presented with the yawning chasm of an open and cavernous mouth. One would be hard pressed to decide which is the more horrific...

When questioned as to the star-like symbol close to the water the artist replied, "That's the 'BANG' from the lightning bolt.",

We can only hope that no was was swimming at the time.

Lastly we see Mothra. It is thought his prime mission is to "pick up the leftovers."

Moving to the other picture...
...the figure of Godzilla is immediately recognized.

Who else but HE could wield the mighty "Breath of Death?" It is both beastly and alarming. Not only that, it is very, very bad.

The ghostly pallor of the moon only accentuates the hopelessness of the situation.

Things do not look good for those in the apartment buildings. Perhaps they all work for Microsoft...

Moving to the suspension bridge behind Godzilla's tail, the tracings of a serpent-like creature can be glimpsed. For the enlightenment of the viewers an inset has been provided in the top part of the picture: Hark! it is none other than Manda!

A snake that flies....*shivers*...it is scary, to be sure.

If we could make one final observation it would be this: the pattern on the road looks uncommonly like the mathematical symbol for division and perhaps...perhaps that is the most sinister of all.

Godzilla + Math = ???

We do feel compelled to go and lie down.
 

Various Reportings

 
First and foremost, Loren's brother is out of the hospital. Mark is taking it easy for a day or two before resuming his teaching and administrative duties at Good Shepherd School.

Again, we surely do appreciate your prayers.
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Kendra has a report of "no cavities" after her dental check-up. I guess this means she can stay in the will.

We were only seven minutes late for the appointment but that is hardly my fault. We left early as we knew the roads were dicey (it's Monday after all, and we know that every Sunday or Monday for the past 8 weeks has brought a storm...).

I did have to run back one mile down the road after discovering my cell phone wasn't in my purse. It had fallen out when my purse decided to lean over while I was putting on my coat...hmmm, maybe that part was my fault. What is NOT my fault is getting behind a long line of vehicles that slowed us down. True, the roads were quite icy, but in the end I arrived at the dentist a little late, ONCE AGAIN, keeping up with my usual protocols for that office whereby they call my home to see if I remembered and then I have to call home AGAIN once I get there to assure my skeptical family that I have (indeed) not flipped over in the ditch with just the wherewithal left to will my brain to MENSA.

Kendra and I had our usual fun time at Goodwill, purchasing several items from the "blue tag clothing is 99 cents" selection. We eventually wound up at McDonald's where Ma's self-discipline held her to two snack wraps and a diet Coke.

The car suffered a minor mishap on the way home in that an oncoming truck kicked up a stone, pitting the windshield of the venerable Green Dragon Lady Lincoln. It was quite shocking, but the car continued bravely on, emitting nary a peep except for that annoying "BEEP" that lets you know you've totally forgotten to put gas in the tank and you've got less than 25 miles to rectify the situation.

When I got home I was overjoyed to learn that "someone" had actually not gotten into much trouble while I was gone, providing me with hope that yes, it might even be safe to leave home again later this week.
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For your upcoming enjoyment, there will be pictures posted this evening of that famous artist, Nolan. Part of his "Godzilla" series, I believe.
 

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Prayer request update

 
Concerning Loren's brother, Mark, Loren had a nice long chat on the phone with him earlier this evening. He's been switched to a new heart medication and will stay in the hospital through Monday.

The internal defibrillator saved his life, for which we all praise the Lord.

It's been traumatic but Mark is doing pretty well.

Thank you to everyone who has been praying.
 

Please Pray

 

Loren's younger brother, Mark, was hospitalized this evening (Sat night). His defibrillator fired five times this evening.

Any time an internal defibrillator shocks someone it means the heart has gone into or is very close to ventricular fibrillation.

The need for multiple shocks is not good.

Mark is almost 50. He and his wife, Lauri Anne, have five children.

Thanks very much for your prayers.
 

Saturday, March 01, 2008

A Mere 20 Days 'Til Spring

 
Wherein Ethan is relieved of the notion that just because his big sister is home from college, it doesn't mean she won't push him down in the snow.



"Look, Mommy! A spee-oh !
That's nice, Dear. Ummm, don't throw that AT anyone....

With Jason gone, the minions are left under Derek's command. He keeps a careful eye on his charges, warning them of potential dangers...
"Look out everyone! There's a camera out here..."

Despite the brisk windchill, most everyone stayed outside for a long time, getting lotsa good exercise.

And SPEAK-ing of exercise, it's time for Ma to give out the ol' treadmill report :-)

Monday--4.5 miles
Tuesday--5.1 miles
Wednesday--5.1 miles
Thursday--5.6 miles
Friday--4.5 miles
Saturday--6 miles (whoa, baby!)

That makes a grand average of.....

*drum roll*

5.13333333333 (etc) for each of six days!

I think someone deserves a rest tomorrow, don't you?

Who da Ma? Ah says,

WHO DA MA ?!