The Homey Family Thing

Ah, the happy hours of Saturday, when a break from studies affords time to knead bread while your little brother reads from that bastion off classical literature...the Swiss Colony Catalog.



Shafts of autumn light create a warm, special glow through the cracked and torn-plastic-covered window...the light which shines upon an eager philodendron, extending its adventitious root-tentacles to the wall in a not-unfriendly, chlorophyllic attempt to take over the house.

The teen-aged lass, cheerfully making bread on her day off...bread, the staff of life and stuff of doughy messes. It sticks to one's hands nearly as well as the ribs, but without the aid of gastric juices to send it through the body in teeeeeny little pieces.

And off to the side, a younger sibling, earnest in his attempts to cheer his toiling sister, as well as feed his ocular food frenzy. He reads aloud, bravely denying the temptation to drool upon each page:

"Rich textures and luscious creaminess blend into mouthfuls of goodness to please everyone. inside a yummy chocolate cookie crust is German chocolate filling and chocolate cheesecake. On top, we drizzle pecan pieces, coconut flakes and icing to make every slice a rich, flavor-filled experience."

It is all quite mouthwatering, despite the obvious catalogic error that, in-deed, one cannot "drizzle pecan pieces." One drizzles chocolate sauce or caramel. Possibly even pistachio gravy. But one does NOT drizzle hard objects that grow inside shells and plunk upon cakes.

Still, the German Chocolate Cheesecake...it doth sound goodsome.
 

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Latin and Greek Myths

Every three years or so we run through a book called, English From the Roots Up.

It contains 100 roots from Latin and Greek, along with mucho derivativos.

The idea is to put up a Greek or Latin root (Greek outlined in green, Latin outlined in Red), learn the meaning and then about 4 or 5 derivatives. The derivative part involves learning another root, tacking it onto the "root of the day" and then seeing the cool way these two (or three) roots come together to make a word in our English language.

Everyone goes through it two times, once around 4th grade and then again around 7th, or so. The only exception was Ardith because as we all know, she was THE GREAT EXPERIMENT and besides, she always knew more than me, anyway.

So this year it is Ethan for the second time, and Nolan for the first. They seem to enjoy it, guessing possible derivatives and meanings, before Ma can set them straight.

WELL, the other day, Nolan decided to drum up his own root and set of derivatives...you can tell it must be Greek...


Pretty clever, no?

Aside from the totally bogus meanings, he seems to have put things together pretty well :-)

The only thing I could add would be:

VirekisVenus--"people with reading lips that go to Venus"
 

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Trevorism

Already missing the two front teeth, Trevor lost a third tooth last week, due in no small part to a tennis ball hitting him in the mouth during a "baseball" game.

(do not try this at home)

Thank goodness for the kids' innovative play, is all I can say!

It didn't seem to hurt that much. I found out about it when I came downstairs after a nap and discovered Carolyn ministering to the lad with a Kleenex held against his gum.

This episode was rehashed over the lunch table today, an approximation, following:

Carolyn: "Yep, thanks to Ethan, Trevor lost his third tooth on the top..."

Ethan: "It was an accident! I wasn't aiming for his mouth."

Carolyn: "Well anyway...it's out."

Ethan: "It couldn't have hurt that much. It was already loose, right, Trevor?"

Trevor: "A little. But you should be more aimful."
 

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How 'Bout that Cliff Lee?!

Even though our beloved Yanks lost, last night, one can't help but admire the Phillies' pitcher, Cliff Lee.

Aside from the large number of strikeouts, that was one cool catch, behind his back :-D

We love Sabatthia, but he was off his game and whoo-ee, Lee was pretty much "on."

Tonight will be another time of familial togetherness in couch-potato land. We prefer, win or lose, to see a little more action around the bases (by the way, did you ever notice that, due to the keyboard's layout, it is quite easy to accidentally type out "sin or lose" ?).
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ANYWAY, I got a couple of great news tips from our local KWWL website:

1) Just this morning, it's been announced....that lil' ol' Iowa Falls--where Ma shops, incidentally--will be receiving Iowa's Office of Weights and Measures Metrology Lab (yes, I had to look twice to make sure it didn't say "meterology").

Fame is coming close to home, folks! We will hold the power of calibration in our hands! Calibration of weights. Calibration of liquid measures. Calibration to insure the accuracy of commercial scales and measuring devices. We're talkin' truck scales, gas pump and grain moisture meters...the WORKS, baby!

Such power. Right here in my own little paw...practically, anyway, since I shop there.

And Ellsworth Community College, new home to the stuff of measure--can now offer a course in metrology, and that doesn't happen at many institutions across the nation.

Autographs available upon request.

2) Now here's the biggie I just discovered last night...(I saw it first on KWWL, but picked out a glitzier link) Wal*Mart will now be offering caskets for sale online! No, I am not kidding!

Ships in 48 hours. No returns...

It can only be a matter of time before Wal*Mart sponsors trips to Mars. Quite possibly in one of their caskets.
 

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2nd Day of the Great LA-MAMaL

As in, the Great Last Autumnal Mow Across Ma's Lawn.

I got another portion whacked off today, bringing the last lawn-mowing up to 1/4 done, optimistically speaking.

Along the lines of fall chores, Ethan dug up his potatoes, today...


Way to bend those knees, Ethan :-)

He got more than one whopper, amidst the spuds. Any three of which could provide a meal for the family.

In baseball news, our lives shall now revolve around the World Series, including meals in the living room, with--at Ethan's insistence--surround sound.

Really enhances the roar of the crowd, not to mention Joe Buck's honey-toned commentary.

I'm not sure how we even watched baseball before surround sound...

In the spirit of things, we're eating hot dogs for supper, carefully cooked to a fine balance between lysteria-laden rods of death, and cereal-stuffing-popped-out innards.

And actually, the kids don't mind if they've been overcooked, since they still retain the essential nitty-gritty of meat scraps and fillers, laced with large amounts of artificial flavoring.

I am such a GOOD MOM.

And now, the nitrates call to me...
 

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Portraits

 


By that up-and-coming artist, Nolan.

I have a larger white board that I use for one school subject, so the kids get to draw on this smaller one.

Here, Nolan shows his rendition of younger brother, Trevor.

Not sure if there was a mustache thing goin' on, or what...but Nolan spent a fair amount of time working on it. And of course, these projects are usually started about 5 minutes before bedtime, so...you know how THAT goes.
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In other news, I mowed a bit of lawn, today. It always goes in short stages, this last mowing of the year. Short, because by this time, the grass is actually pretty long, having been neglected after the start of school, and having grown more slowly with the coming of frosts.

Still, it has grown. Enough so that you can see the imprint of deer who have been spending the night :-(

Probably the same rotten ruminant who chewed off the bark of my poor little Japanese Tree Lilac.

I will never forgive that deer, by the way, but I'm fairly certain that deer aren't covered in the Bible's entreaty toward forgiveness.
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In other, OTHER news, the heating guy came this morning with an additional water tank. It was put to rest right on the cement pad Loren had crafted out of powder and water, earlier in the week (and if anyone needs something like this made, I'd be more than willing to hire Loren out for a mere 25%...)

There were pipes brought in and additional stuffs, after which there was much clanking and other various noises, interspersed with no small amount of laughter.

Apparently though, "It sounded like you guys were having a good time, down there..." was way too subtle, for nary a word was volunteered as to the topic of conversation.

That's OK. Christmas is coming and I have many presents to buy, or not to buy. That is the question.
 

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Alternative Parenting Methods

I was pretty strict with the older children. Very, very careful of what they would see, hear, and even eat.

Always felt that if I didn't do things JUST RIGHT, the kids might end up ax murderers or something....I don't know. You get so uptight when you start out in the parenting business.

And it is a business, with the exception that you bring your work home with you and never get a vacation and people are always giving you unsolicited advice and in the back of your mind is that nagging thought, "Why can't I be more like the Duggers?"

(if you don't know who they are, go Google them and see why half of Christian conservative motherhood feels they have failed...and I'm not talking about me, by the way)

But getting back to playing country music for Nolan and Trevor in the car, I was complaining on Facebook as to how I was taking the two youngest shopping and making a tremendous sacrifice by not playing the music I wanted. Because they were along.

But then, I got a comment from cousin-in-law, Kim, which pretty much gave me carte blanche to play whatever I desired. And so I thought I'd give it a try, with the option to turn the volume to zero for less-than-desirable lyrics.

WELL, one of the first songs that came on, was an oldie from 2003-2004, The Long Black Train, by Josh Turner. I'd never heard it before, my flirtation with the evils of country music having only occurred in the past couple of years.

Great song. Love the acoustic guitar and rhythm going in the background, just like a train headin' down the tracks. And Nolan was all ears, shushing Trevor's chatter because, "I want to hear this song!" As soon as it was over he commented, "That was a Christian song..." "Yes, pretty much." Here are a few of the lyrics:

"There's a long black train,
Comin' down the line,
Feedin' off the souls that are lost and cryin',
Rails of sin, only evil remains
Watch out brother for that Long Black Train

'Cause there's vict'ry in the Lord I say,
Vict'ry in the lord,
Cling to the Father and His holy name,
And don't go ridin' on that Long Black Train

There's an engineer on that Long Black Train,
Makin' you wonder if the ride is worth the pain,
He's just a waiting on your heart to say
Let me ride on that Long Black Train,

But you know there's vict'ry in the Lord I say,
Vict'ry in the Lord,
Cling to the Father and His holy name,
And dont go ridin' on that Long Black Train

Well, I can hear the whistle from a mile away,
It sounds so good
But I must stay away
That train is a beauty, makin' everybody stare
But its only destination is the middle of nowhere."

So, I'm thinkin'...ipod...for his birthday....with about 50 different versions of that song.

It's a thought, anyway.
 

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In Which Ma Impacts the New York Times

Possibly.

I do check the New York Times' obits on a fairly regular basis. Besides confirming my still being alive, they feature people who are known authors, musicians, scientists, etc. It can be pretty interesting. A quick read in recent history, science and culture.

I've also started checking on the Des Moines Register for news, simply because they're in Iowa, nationally known, and also have the occasional, cool "Old Picture of the Day."

And when the Register put up the obituary of Dr. Ponseti last week, a pioneer in the treatment of club foot who had practiced at University of Iowa Hospitals, I was quite intrigued. I vaguely remembered hearing of him, earlier.

THEN, I checked back to the NYT obits...no Dr. Ponseti. I thought to myself, "Ma? Perhaps you should send an email to the NYT with the link of Dr. Ponseti's death..."

So I did.

The obit came out in the New York Times, yesterday.

Maybe they were going to print it anyway...who knows?

It sorta made my day.
 

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Possibly the Most Boring Post, Ever

I've discovered an interesting thing...there's almost nothing interesting going on in my life, right now.

There must be, of course, I just can't wrap letters around anything that seems remotely significant.

Most of my plans for the day involve nap maneuvers: should I take one in the afternoon? Can a short one be squeezed in, before lunch? Can I possibly stay awake while Nolan reads aloud to me? If I sleep too late in the afternoon, will I be up part of the night (again) and thus need another nap (or two), tomorrow?

These are the thrilling mental conundrums that fill my day.

Saturdays are a little different. It doesn't look so bad when you stay in bed until 8:30 on a Saturday morning. Sleeping that long gives me the energy to watch two...count 'em, TWO episodes of Leave it to Beaver with the kids.

Tomorrow should be interesting. All I have to do is get up early, make it through the services and our monthly pot-luck dinner and communion, and then stay awake on the drive home so I can take a nice long nap.

Loren, on the other hand, is working like a maniac. He's been up and down the ladder all day, caulking windows in preparation for cold weather. The windows, which have enough of the wood frame left on which to apply caulk. I'm tempted to go along with his idea of covering the worst windows with treated plywood for the winter.

It'll cut out some of the light, making it easier for me to nap.
 

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All About (the) Evening

Had a wonderful time last night, I did!

Leaving the kids in the clutches of frozen pizza and the Yankees' playoff game, we hoofed it over to Cedar Falls in the Limo, with nary a wheel falling off.

I did have to tell Loren to increase the wiper speed once, even though he was driving. (Do you ever have to do that, ladies? I get claustrophobic and nervous when I can't see out the windshield during a rainstorm. I know it's silly but....)

After the usual reenactment from the cartoon version of Jungle Book, "Well, what do you wanna do? I don't care, what do YOU wanna do?", we found Famous Dave's to be unusually unpacked.

Loren uncharacteristically picked out his food by the time the waitress returned. I had been dallying with the idea of a sandwich platter, solely due to the siren call from a "hellfire pickle." However, firmly lashing myself to my Christian roots, I did not succumb, choosing a safe and rather tasty "Chopped Pork," instead.

I nearly made a huge faux pas of ordering the same sides as Loren, but then switched at the last second, increasing our food variety as well as the scratches on the waitress's notepad.

At this point, I feel compelled to mention that Famous Daves is YET ANOTHER ESTABLISHMENT THAT NEGLECTS TO SERVE COKE PRODUCTS.

But since I'm not picky, I won't complain.

After rolling ourselves out of the restaurant, we headed over to the cinema. Most of the potentials had been playing for 30 minutes, but we were fairly close to the start of All About Steve.

We had that theater all to ourselves! And no annoying ads and quizzes to sit through.

It was a pretty fun movie :-) It makes a difference when no one's there and you can talk and laugh like you were at home. Plus, it's not often you get a crossword fanatic, a touch of opera, acceptable cheesiness and striking red boots, all in one movie (you wouldn't have liked it, Jason...no one died). Of course, it's not all about Steve, but it IS all about Mary, Sandra Bullock's character.

I don't suppose it'll win an academy award, but I liked it.

Then it was off to the grocery store for some forgotten Parmesan cheese and "oh-yeah-I-may-as-well-get-milk-while-I'm-here."

Everyone was alive when we arrived home, and though the Yankees ended up losing their game, it only means we get to watch a ball game on Saturday night, Woo-Hoo!
 

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A "Lovely" Day

You know it's going to be a great day when you come back from your walk and see the little Japanese Tree Lilac has had the protective trunk covering ripped off, the identification tag laying in the grass, and the bark stripped clear around the trunk.

At least I got it on 50% clearance.

Just more confirmation that some people are not destined to have nice things. Either animals, kids or the weather will wreck them.
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Nolan and Trevor have been taking longer and longer to eat breakfast, so today, I had them fold their clothes. And since they goofed around doing that, I also slaved them into washing the kitchen floor after I'd swept.

It is now 11:45 and we have not started school, yet.

Only a short 12 more years until Ma's vacation!
 

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Remedial Action

Isn't it funny...

...how supper can be on time if one is planning it around a play-off game? Remedy: schedule major sports events at the dinner hour.

...how condescension can cause your stomach to knot up? Remedy: be firm. Sometimes being nice is just asking for more.

...how kids can play badminton outside in the dark, but they can barely keep their eyes on their school books, during the day? Remedy: pray for rain.

...children are suddenly full when there is broccoli on their plate, and yet they still ask for their cookie dessert? Remedy: make cookies out of broccoli.

...when the Internet goes down right after the husband leaves on a 4-day trip? Remedy: blame it on a conspiracy theory. That won't fix it, but it will give you something to research, once you're back online.

...that so many people hate the Yankees? Remedy: Christians should never "follow the crowd." Soooooo,

Go Yankees !
 

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What a Great Day :-)

First of all, THE SUN WAS SHINING!

Always a good thing, this time of year.

Secondly, I got Trevor and Nolan started on school today before 10:30...barely. Ok, that was not so good, but at least they both finished in time to go shopping with me, this afternoon.

I do believe taking the little boys shopping with me qualifies as missionary work, in that it allows a quiet calm to settle over the house while we are gone.

The same cannot be said for the car, however, and certain peoples were starting to get on my nerves during the drive home. Fortunately, I was getting so sleepy that I was able to tune out some of the clamor as I fought to keep my eyes open and the car on the road.

We're all safe at the house now, so I guess you know how that turned out. Sadly, I did forget to put the ice cream in the freezer for more than an hour. But that's not really my fault, since the Yankees were in another playoff game.

And it doesn't even matter that they lost, because we get to watch more baseball tomorrow!
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Quote of the Day:

Carolyn....."Why do all the Wal-Mart workers look so gloomy?"

(they would rather be watching baseball)
 

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Another Great Offering From Mr. Collins...I Think We've All Been Here, Right?

Another Reason Why I Don't Keep a Gun in the House

The neighbors' dog will not stop barking.
He is barking the same high, rhythmic bark
that he barks every time they leave the house.
They must switch him on on their way out.

The neighbors' dog will not stop barking.
I close all the windows in the house
and put on a Beethoven symphony full blast
but I can still hear him muffled under the music,
barking, barking, barking,

and now I can see him sitting in the orchestra,
his head raised confidently as if Beethoven
had included a part for barking dog.

When the record finally ends he is still barking,
sitting there in the oboe section barking,
his eyes fixed on the conductor who is
entreating him with his baton

while the other musicians listen in respectful
silence to the famous barking dog solo,
that endless coda that first established
Beethoven as an innovative genius.

----Billy Collins
 

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Fiddlers and Shingles on the Roof

Yes, it took a LONG time to come up with that clever title :-D

'Nuther exciting church activity, today. Helmkes needed their roof re-shingled, and lotsa people turned out.


Ma took over the three boys, because the word was out they needed unskilled labor for old shingle pick up. Hey, if you need mind-numbing grunt work, I'm your Ma!

Trevor, thinking he's helping.
And Gerry Craig looks as if he's contemplating taking off in his 3-wheeler.

That's Ethan, in the yellow shirt.
Not sure what was going on, but I'm fairly certain he was not in trouble. Probably...

This looks bad, but Nolan was getting ready to cheerfully hand Trevor his gloves. Really.


Taking off the old shingles can be a real pain. And that one roof section has a pret-ty sharp pitch.
That's Mitch Helmke in the foreground, with Ezra and Caleb Weikert crabbing it on the roof.

A cute little guy just can't be too helpful :-)

Remember, it's my camera and I'll take pictures of whomever I want. My only regret was not getting more photos of the womenfolk.

Work continues tomorrow...some of us hope to get back and obtain more sore muscles, bending over to pick up pieces of shingle that the guys on the roof have helpfully chopped into small pieces.

And now, back to the ALCS...GO YANKEES!
 

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Ma's Newsy Nuggets

It's been a LONG time since the headlines have struck me as they have, today.

Winner of redundancy--KWWL, for this little gem:

"2 Assaulted in Iowa City Assault".
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Also, did you know that today is....

Global Handwashing Day!

Everyone can get involved in Global Handwashing Day celebrations, slated for Thursday 15 October, 2009. In this website you will find useful tools and resources to make Global Handwashing Day a success in your country, city, town, community and school.

You simply MUST visit the website, otherwise you will absolutely FAIL in making Global Handwashing Day a success in your country, city, town, community and school.
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There's a new type of biofuel in Sweden, and we're not talkin' corn. We're talking bunnies. Cute, wittle, "awwww, dat's terrible" bunnies.

Personally, I don't have a problem with getting rid of excessive conies.

I wish they could implement something around these parts involving the kamikaze deer population.
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And there ya go! Hope nobody was eating breakfast...
 

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Only a Week Late...

...Apple Harvest.

I left off the exclamation point this time around, because it's getting harder and harder to rev up the enthusiasm. After 7 or 8 years it all gets a little ho-hummish, but yes, we did pick the apples, last Wednesday.

Naturally, it's more fun to grab the apple picker and go for the high stuff...
...rather than pick what's easily accessible.

It was not long before the lure of advanced technology was felt by others....
..."When do I get to use the apple pickoh?"

And every so often, a fellah needs a break to clear his mind.


It was a sparkling clear day. A sublime day for climbing.


Those for whom apple-picking held no appeal...
...fixed shingles.

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As for today, Ma let herself be intimidated by the cold dreariness of the morning and forewent her walk with Carolyn. I opted instead to stay inside and eat my power oatmeal, whose infusion of strength I still wait for.

One gets tired of waiting, after a while...
 

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Another Day...

...another twelve hours of drearisome gray.

Next week should be warmer and sunnier. Ma will have to get out the ol' lawnmower for this year's last, nostalgic limp across the yard.

In other news, Melinda underwent the PSAT torture, this morning. That's one test down for this school year, two more to go. November holds the yearly high school district tests for Carolyn and Melinda, and then, come April, ye olde ACTe.

Eleventh grade is such a special year.
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The following is an explanation of Nolan's army men, according to color designation:

Nolan: "The gray guys are Israelis and the tan ones are Egyptians." (huh...I guess that makes sense....)

Nolan: "The green guys are Americans and..."

Trevor: "...the blue ones are police?"

Nolan: "Yes. From Australia."

And there we have it, the world in a nutshell.
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I've learned so many great things off of Facebook, in the past two days. For instance, Haylay's little girl used up a whole jar of Vaseline, on her hair :-D

Haylay, I would think seriously about that one friend's suggestion...shaving Cambria's head. Gets rid of the problem immediately, and I bet she wouldn't ever do that again!

Also, Rebekah Kepple is going to Antarctica this winter, which begs the question:

Is it too late for me to join the Air Force?
 

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More Goodsome Poetry

 


On Turning Ten

The whole idea of it makes me feel
like I'm coming down with something,
something worse than any stomach ache
or the headaches I get from reading in bad light--
a kind of measles of the spirit,
a mumps of the psyche,
a disfiguring chicken pox of the soul.

You tell me it is too early to be looking back,
but that is because you have forgotten
the perfect simplicity of being one
and the beautiful complexity introduced by two.
But I can lie on my bed and remember every digit.
At four I was an Arabian wizard.
I could make myself invisible
by drinking a glass of milk a certain way.
At seven I was a soldier, at nine a prince.

But now I am mostly at the window
watching the late afternoon light.
Back then it never fell so solemnly
against the side of my tree house,
and my bicycle never leaned against the garage
as it does today,
all the dark blue speed drained out of it.

This is the beginning of sadness, I say to myself,
as I walk through the universe in my sneakers.
It is time to say good-bye to my imaginary friends,
time to turn the first big number.

It seems only yesterday I used to believe
there was nothing under my skin but light.
If you cut me I could shine.
But now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life,
I skin my knees. I bleed.

---Billy Collins
 

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More Poetry...

Introduction to Poetry

I ask them to take a poem
and hold it up to the light
like a color slide

or press an ear against its hive.

I say drop a mouse into a poem
and watch him probe his way out,

or walk inside the poem's room
and feel the walls for a light switch.

I want them to waterski
across the surface of a poem
waving at the author's name on the shore.

But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with rope
and torture a confession out of it.

They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means.

----Billy Collins

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As Though Covered by a Darkling Mist...

...we awoke to our second day of ignorance.

What was the temperature outside?

We did not know.

What would the weather be like, later in the week?

How....HOW could we even hazard a guess?

What new political intrigues had been hatched and abandoned whilst we were suffering Internet withdrawal?

Oh, the Homo sapienty!

To think what may have been discarded as worthless information before we could even slaver over it! It boggles the mind...it darkens the soul...it crimps the gizzard in a most uncomfortable via!

But the Internet is back. Something to do with a switched DSL.

In other breakdown news, Loren was trying to make a trip to town when the wheel came off his beauteous limo, going out of the drive. That leaves us with exactly one working car, since Jason's doesn't start (unless you keep it in the garage...maybe) and the battery is dead on the Moby Dick van, and the little red Toyota doesn't work...much, and the little blue Toyota doesn't work, at all.

One has to wonder if one DECENT vehicle would suffice instead of five that don't, but then, I'm not a car expert.

The only thing I'm really good at is getting lunch late. Speaking of which...
 

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Ma the Muse

So I was perusing the HuffPost this morning (something I do to annoy Loren) and I realized National Poetry Day slipped by, last week, without my even noticing. And apparently, over in England (across the Atlantic), a poll was taken for the favorite poet.

T.S. Elliot came in first, followed by John Donne. No real surprises. But coming in third was a man I'd never heard of, Benjamin Zephaniah.



And get this...he's still alive! Now Ma would always want to do everything in her power to help a struggling young poet, so we'll include the following selection from Mr. Zephaniah:

Talking Turkeys

Be nice to yu turkeys dis christmas
Cos' turkeys just wanna hav fun
Turkeys are cool, turkeys are wicked
An every turkey has a Mum.
Be nice to yu turkeys dis christmas,
Don't eat it, keep it alive,
It could be yu mate, an not on your plate
Say, Yo! Turkey I'm on your side.
I got lots of friends who are turkeys
An all of dem fear christmas time,
Dey wanna enjoy it, dey say humans destroyed it
An humans are out of dere mind,
Yeah, I got lots of friends who are turkeys
Dey all hav a right to a life,
Not to be caged up an genetically made up
By any farmer an his wife.

Turkeys just wanna play reggae
Turkeys just wanna hip-hop
Can yu imagine a nice young turkey saying,
'I cannot wait for de chop',
Turkeys like getting presents, dey wanna watch christmas TV,
Turkeys hav brains an turkeys feel pain
In many ways like yu an me.

I once knew a turkey called...Turkey
He said "Benji explain to me please,
Who put de turkey in christmas
An what happens to christmas trees?",
I said "I am not too sure turkey
But it�s nothing to do wid Christ Mass
Humans get greedy an waste more dan need be
An business men mek loadsa cash'.

Be nice to yu turkey dis christmas
Invite dem indoors fe sum greens
Let dem eat cake an let dem partake
In a plate of organic grown beans,
Be nice to yu turkey dis christmas
An spare dem de cut of de knife,
Join Turkeys United an dey'll be delighted
An yu will mek new friends 'FOR LIFE'.

Alrighty. What's not to love? And it seems one should really hear it read, to get the full effect, so I might have to cruise on over to YouTube.

I'm off to el schoolo, but let's keep these words in mind and remember...a turkey doesn't only have to be a bird.
 

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Oh yeah...

I was supposed to post, today.

My brain cells are a little drained, due to whacking out the Hoyt family letter, last night. Different family members are encouraged to submit something about their lives or happenings, whenever it suits. It goes to a google groups email address that automatically sends it out to everyone on the list. It's all very convenient and I try to get something out once per month. I only had one typo, this time, so that's pretty good.

I wrapped up the letter after Carolyn, Melinda and I finished watching The Fugitive. Pretty intense stuff, and quite exciting!

Of course, I remember watching the actual TV show, with hunky David Janssen. You just gotta feel sorry for an unjustly accused man who has to decorate a new apartment, each week.

For four years.

It was murder, I'm tellin' ya!.

Anyway, that's why my brain is fried. Either that, or the Diet Coke and Sweet Hot Chili Doritos.
 

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Two Brothers to Share Nobel Peace Prize

 


Two members of the Hoyt family, sons of the renowned "Ma Hoyt," have won the Nobel Peace Prize, for their extraordinary efforts in promoting "Peace Through Pool."

The two boys, Nolan and Trevor, created a replica of the billiards game after viewing "Midnight Pool" on the cell phone of a recent visitor to their home, Sarah Hess.

The youngest, Trevor, can be glimpsed utilizing gloves while playing the game. We are told this facilitates the ease of the yardstick sliding through the fingers. The yardstick, incidentally, was purchased by the boys' mother at a Mennonite Relief Sale, many years ago. It is thought to be just one of the symbolic factors that led to the Nobel Committee's unanimous decision to award the peace prize to the Hoyt boys.

When asked if he felt humbled by the distinction, Trevor replied, "What does 'humbled' mean? I was just twying to have some fun..."

His elder by 2.75 years, Nolan volunteered the information, "We really like to play Lego Pool. Besides, our mom thinks we're so creative that she doesn't notice we haven't eaten breakfast, yet. The important thing is that I'm winning..."

"No way! I'm ahead!!"

"WHAT? Are you crazy?"

The boys were surprised to learn of the substantial monetary aspect to the award. When asked how it would be spent, their reaction included wild revelry and shouts of "Oh boy! Now we can get air soft guns and Calvin and Hobbes books!" Their mother stepped in, however, explaining that the money would be put into a trust, to be used for their higher education. This arrangement also includes an escape clause which would shunt the monies into a chocolate fund for an, as yet, unnamed person.

News outlets around the world expressed surprise and even shock at the unexpected nature of this award to the Hoyt boys. Reuters was "nearly speechless," saying, "If we'd only known, we could have pooled our Lego sets and made something really cool."

Many, however, took a more equanimous viewpoint, as in the Ackley World Journal, a small, local paper whose only reaction was,

"We've seen worse."
 

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Hmmph

 
Nothing very exciting going on. Life is pretty dull, for the most part.

Back to the Henry James novel...
 

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We...*yawn*....picked apples, today

After about 7 years or so, the excitement tends to wane. So THIS year, we are THRILLED that the trees didn't produce heavily. Fits nicely in with my slacker mentality.

I would have pictures, but Blogger is being an idiot, AGAIN, and until I can post all five pictures, I ain't postin' nuthin'.

Blogger must learn not to trifle with MA!
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In other news, 10 pills down and 10 to go. That means I'm halfway through the course of antibiotics, if I remember my Algebra 2 correctly.

Feeling fairly good. Only taking one nap per day now...and Monday I didn't have any! Well, at least, not until after 4pm, which might explain the inability to sleep, later.

I'm tellin' ya, this slacking off is harder than it looks. It's not piece of cake, people! (though there have been occasional bowls of ice cream).

But we're getting through the daily school grind, so things have not totally gone to pot.
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In Cedar Rapid news, Jason left his car here and took our mini van down to "The Big City." Loren's going to see if he can figure out why Jason's vehicle doesn't want to start in the cold or rain. I can sympathize, but what do I know about cars...

The main benefit turns out to be that Jason inadvertently took a mouse from this property down to Ardith's garage. The mouse had been living in the van and made it's presence known to Jason one day on his commute to work.

You can imagine our horror at the break-up of yet another rodential family, but I can hardly be held responsible for keeping up with the mouse census out in the yard. Judging by the smell in our pantry though, poison will have its way, eventually, and I suggest, Jason, that you place some in the van.

In the event of mouse mortality, you can just drive a little faster to work, heh, heh. Maybe leave the doors open to air it out, while you're typing away at your cushy keyboard job.

That's all for now. There's no sense in overdoing this sitting around and typing, business...
 

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Cipro Litro, the 2nd

Welcome back, my literary friends. As promised, we again delve into the amazing, rich tapestry of the Ciprofloxacin med sheet. Such treasures to be mined from pages which were but short years ago, yet unwritten.

Pull up a comfortable chair, and prepare soothing, hot drinks. These shall be words to savor and slowly roll about the sentiency of our wit-roused minds.

Come.

Peruse.

Luxuriate.

DO NOT START OR STOP any medicine without doctor or pharmacist approval (should I ask him if he approves his prescription?). Inform your doctor of any other medical conditions, including a stomach infection (with all this padding, how could I tell?), liver problems (come to think of it, my liver does feel odd...), brain (I am DOOMED)) nervous system problems(what I just said...), increased pressure in the brain (again...gonna hafta go with the same answer...) Alzheimer disease (I don't....I'm not...), brain blood vessel problems, muscle problems (wouldn't it be easier to say what's left out?)....

(but my VERY favorite...)

Take this medicine by mouth (as opposed to, say...tossing it in one's ear)

Ah well, I fear that is all for today's offering, it being best not to over-satiate the versed palate beyond its capabilities of absorption.

Until next time,

this has been Ma Hoyt,

with Cipro Litro.
 

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Ma: Inimitably Tied to Culture

After feeling slight twinges of guilt for yesterday's complaint on Facebook (after a call from Grace College, DURING MY NAP, asking for money) I do feel compelled to perform an act of attrition.

I could explain my placid rant in more detail, but that would necessitate yet a-nother attritial act, which absolutely goes against my moral scruples.

It should be noted, however, that this institution of higher learning has made it possible for daughtero numero deux-o to visit Paris. It happened while she was studying in France, as part of her foreign language major.

The main benefit being that I've rubbed shoulders with a person who's been to Europe; who's seen neat stuffs; big, old buildings and well....culture. And this culture has a way of imbuing its noblissage, all over the fawning mass of Ma.

Despite it being October, I'm feeling sorta august.

Now, without further adoage, I give you...daughter Sharon!


Of course, a skeptic might wonder if she was truly there, or just standing in front of a cheesy cardboard cutout. On a dirt road. In Texas.

But I prefer to harbor thoughts of cultural kinship.

Sharon was in Paris.

I am her mother.

Ergo,

Ma-eminence.
 

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Mon Kale Deux

Or as they say in Ma's mangled foreign lanuage, "el autre Kale-o."


Really pretty stuff. I may have to plant this again. It's supposed to get better color when cool weather comes, but this year, it got gorgeous in mid summer, due to the weird temps.

In other news, I've just had a lovely chat with numero deux-o sonno.

Derek is doing pretty spiff-o and here are a few highlights:

--He loves his honors English class :-) "I keep wondering why I can't be an English major..." "Because there's no money in it!" "Yes, I know..."

--sounds like he's eating a better diet than some OTHER people who went to LeTourneau, who shall not be named.

--Good news on the pro-time front...the nurse didn't stick the needle into his nerve this time! That's makes the score: Nurse-1, Derek-1.

--Hasn't gotten sick yet

Sounds good to me! I am also feeling better. And despite missing my morning nap--had to put up a good front at church--I think I have more energy. Enough for a couch-slouch to read, anyway :-D
 

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Day Deux de Cipro

Two doses down and eighteen to go. I think we're doing pretty well.

Within only a few hours of the first pill I noticed a "less sick" feeling. I was still tired, and still weak, but definitely did not feel quite so "ick," although I do feel a little bleached out. Sort of "stretched out and thin," minus the hankering for teacakes and ale.

Of course, no medicine is without its side effects, and I thought one fun way to chronicle El Diseaso de Ma-o would be to provide a regular dose of the care pages belonging to Cipro.

It's six sheets worth, and renders the reader into that realm of literary magic reserved for Sci-Fi directors and fourth year med students. I have added a few comments, in bold. From the first WARNING paragraph:

This medicine is associated with an increased risk of tendon problems....The Achilles tendon in the back of the foot/ankle is most often affected (Oh good, it would only affect WALK-ing).. However, problems may also occur in other tendons, eg, in the shoulder, arm, or hand (in other words, yer whole stinkin' body). Problems may occur while you take this medicine or up to several months after you stop taking it (so basically, forget about walking now and for the next 3 months)

SIGNS OF TENDON PROBLEMS may include pain, soreness, redness, or swelling of a tendon or joint; bruising right after an injury in a tendon area; hearing or feeling a snap or pop in a joint or tendon area....(Oooooo, "snap" or "pop." If that's not evocative, I don't know what is!)

And there ya go. I've barely begun to explore the intricacies of drug interaction papers.

It's long.

It's detailed.

It's a veritable missive of encouragement.

It's also time for me to go curl up on the couch...
 

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The Cipro Challenge

What does one do when all the usual thrills have been examined?

*grow up--check (for the most part)

*go to school--check

*get married--check

*have a coupla kids--check (or so)

*take Master Gardening class--check (still feel pretty ignorant)

So I was bumming around for something different to do and I thought hmmmm, this whole weight loss/maintenance thing hasn't been going so well. I might have to get sick just to lose a few pounds. Yes, I actually thunk that thought, just the other day.

And then, for the past month, I've been having this slight "problem." It involved having to go to the little girls' room extra often, sometimes during the night. I mean, I don't even have an aging prostate, so what gives?

But in keeping with all the "natural" remedies, I did quaff quite a bit of cranberry juice, and later, extra water.

Things seemed to ameliorate for the most part, with only one or two sessions where I felt like yelling due to painful...er, ministrations.

The thought occurred to me, "Ma? You are getting old an fat. What you need is more exercise!"

Thus the beginnings of walkings with Carolyn. They only made me more tired, and I soon upped my nappage from one to two, per day. I was beginning to feel like a tremendous wimp when I felt back pain this morning. A new thought occurred to me, that of, "You idiot! Do you want to get a kidney infection? Stop kidding yourself and go get checked for a UTI."

So I did. And I have one. A right nasty one, at that. The doc came back in VERY quickly with the lab report and started naming off the things they found...well, I won't go into detail.

But I'm hoping, that between the antibiotic and the extra sleep, which comes oh, so naturally, right now, I'll be feeling chipper in no time. Probably even have energy to go outside, again...who knows?
 

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And the College Payoffs Just Keep Comin' !

We are currently entertaining one of Ardith's LeTourneau classmates, Sarah Hess. I must say, Sarah is an excellent sport, her being an only child. And yet, she dared to enter this den of iniquitous children and two nearly perfect parents.

It defies all logic and reason, but we've been having a good ol' time, nonetheless :-)

Oh...and speaking of famous LeTourneau personalities, Lynn Swanbom will be on Jeapordy, this Friday! Yes, I am talking TOMORROW!

Set your VCR's people, or whatever it is that techies use, these days. Sarah Hess has personally assured me, that if Ms. Swanbom wins any moolah, she'll be donating half of it to "The Needy MA's Chocolate Fund of America."

You just have to get a little choked up with the altruism of today's generation. I am proud to know someone who knows someone who might win money.

But getting back to our visitor, I just heard Ethan cry out, "Hey....I'm next on the cell phone!"

No, he is not talking about our cell phones. He is not even talking about TALKING on a cell phone. Sarah has access to a few games and has cleverly won the hearts of my little erstwhile school slackers.

They've asked if she can stay for a month.

I mean, it's almost as if we never let them OUT, or anything (we don't, of course, but no one has to know this).

Not all has been goofing around, though. I did make the kids do some school before they initiated Miss Hess into the intricacies of Paper Telephone and Dutch Blitz.

Passing on Hoyt culture, one person at a time.

The kids even convinced me to make chocolate pudding cake for lunch, an event seldom witnessed in this household. I usually make it for supper so you can be kept awake at night with all that chocolaty goodness.

Speaking of which, the cake's done....
 

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