The Diet Report

Today's weigh-in: 1W2.5 pounds. That's a one pound loss for this week, and 12 pounds lost over the eight-week period.

:-D

Ma narrowly dodged the bullet this time, as YESTERDAY's weigh-in was up 1.5 pounds. And last week I was a pound lower the day after weigh-in.

In other words, I am being held hostage by a square-shaped inanimate object that sits benignly on the floor, just waiting to reduce me to a destabilized mass of emotional jelly.

When you see yourself up a pound, you can't help but wonder, "What did I do wrong? Was it that extra clump of grapes before bed, two nights ago? Was it that handful of popcorn I grabbed during the World Series? (or was it two....or three.....)

ANYWAYS, I hope to have found a balance between slow and steady progress and the measured allotment of half-ways good-tasting food.

Some of my favorites:

• Rold Gold Honey Wheat Braided Twist Pretzles - these have about 11 calories per stick, but just saying the name three times before eating will automatically burn off a few more
  
• Honey Crisp apples: developed in Minnesota, these babies are so juicy and crisp, sweat and snappy that in my opinion, they are beyond compare. They are also expensive, so I just buy 4 or 5 and make sure NO ONE gets them but moi. And sadly, the season is short, so they are not available past fall.
  
• Grapes. A couple of well-placed grapes can go a long way to quelling a craving for some sweet morsel. Quite probably, ol' Antony had forgotten his Concords, making him all the more susceptible to Cleopatra's charms.....and thus, history was changed for wont of an afternoon snack.
  
• Soups--Campbell's Italian Wedding Style and Progresso's Lentil soup. Low calorie and very hearty, these soups both contain spinach, so there is no way the kids will be jealous.
  
• Blue Bunny Carb Freedom Black Raspberry Bars My FAVORITE! These are SOOOOoooo good. Only 90 calories each, though you have to watch out for the "dropped chocolate coating" hazard. I don't recommend eating these while wearing light-colored clothing. No more than one per day, unless you've been on your hoofs for 10 hours making applesauce.

That's all we have time for. The usual day's schedule has been moved up to make room for eye doctor appointments this afternoon.

I'll bet if we just ate more carrots, we could forgo this yearly ritual.
 

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Videos of Goodwill

  

Another shopping day, another fabulous find by Ma.

This time I scored big time at the video bin. Let's start from right to left, shall we?

"MouseHunt" claims to be The Funniest Movie of the Year!" I have a vague recollection of seeing part of this, and begging to differ with it's amusement capacity, but hey...I figure it ought to live up to its $1.99 value.

Two....count 'em, TWO "Rocky and Bullwinkle" tapes!! What's not to love? Storylines that appeal to the youngin's, as well as sophisticated humor to amuse us oldies. (well, unless you're 55, have a beard and just re-FUSE to enjoy certain things...)

Now we come to a real jewel. I picked up "Ghidrah," and the scripted letters at the top didn't register with me. I turned the tape over and read:

"When a mysterious three-headed monster (GHIDRAH) threatens to destroy the world, the residents of Tokyo desperately seek the help of Rodan, Mothra, and Godzilla. (WHOA! It's a GODZILLA PICTURE!!) Together, the three combine their super powers and force the giant, rampaging fiend to get off the earth....or else."

Hot DOGGIES!! Rodan, Mothra AND Godzilla.....all in one cheesey-effects-and-English-dubbed picture!

You can't ask for more, folks. And isn't it amazing how these creatures who were supposedly killed off in picture after picture, keep coming back to life....and mostly for the sake of humankind?

It's enough to restore one's faith in the rehabilitative powers of low-budget cinematography.

(even now, poor Trevor is disconsolate to find out that we may watch a Bullwinkle tape before Godzilla. He has a soft spot in his heart for large balloon-like monsters. Trevor has long ago planned on having "MechaGodzilla" as his birthday movie)

But I have saved the best for last.....

Please tell me there is someone out there who appreciates, "Last of the Summer Wine." (anyone?)

Put out by the BBC, this comedy classic is still being broadcast on Saturday nights in Iowa. I try never to miss it, and closet myself away in the bedroom where I sort out my vitamins for the coming week while listening to humor that only a middle-aged person (or older) can truly enjoy.

This particular pack has 12 episodes, including ones I have never seen....1-6 of season one, and I assume 1-6 of season two. (one of the tapes isn't labelled) I'll have to pick an appropriate time to view this witty and pleasant humor. The British are oh, so apt at drollery. Not like we Americans, who seem content with mediocre and low amusements.

And that's all for this day's gleanings.....oh wait, I also purchased "Bowfinger" (Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy) and part of Nature Series, "The Grizzly Bear," with an additional feature, "The Beaver." (woo, hoo...be still my beating heart)

I couldn't fit ALL the videos on the above chair, but you've got the basic idea, anyway.

Happy viewing, to me :-D
 

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"Don't grite for me, Argentina....."

It has been some time since we last explored that depository of silver, Argentina.

Off we go then, before daughter Sharon returns home in early December, making this post moot.

As promised, we will pursue that explosive rumor that Argentina is "Bi."

What does this mean, exactly? Has Ma capitulated to a "sweep weeks" mentality in order to generate lurid interest?

Not in the least.

Argentina is considered Bi-continental, claiming territory not only in South America, but also Antarctica, though there is some dispute of this territory with the UK and Chile.

Hard to believe anyone could argue over a few square miles of frozen tundra, but hey, if this whole global warming business turns out for the worst, THEN who will be laughing in their ice cube trays....huh?

And as for geography....you name it and Argentina's got it.

Looking for mountains, valleys or swampland? It's got it.

Have a hankering for the tropics, clay or sandy soil? There.

In the market for a plateau or pampas sierra? Ditto.

And let's not forget the fluvial plains. How we love fluvial plains. (try saying "fluvial," five times, really fast....)

Fluvial refers to rivers, of which Argentina has many. One fiver...excuse me, I mean river....is even called the "Colorado," so....let's all remember to be perfectly clear with the travel agent when planning a white water vacation, OK?

As for history...we naturally can't go into EVERY-thing, so Ma will just hit a couple of highlights.

Of course we all know that Spain played a prominent part in convincing the native peoples that there was just no WAY they could take care of things themselves, and wouldn't they really rather be good boys and girls and get exterminated or be servants to all the other immigrants who would eventually make up the entire country?

(this might have something to do with the national language officially being Spanish, though I'm told it is spoken with an Italian "lilt")

Independence was gained in 1816, after which the country vacillated between--if you can i-ma-gine this--Conservative and Liberal parties! (I know....I couldn't believe it either)

During WWII Argentina remained neutral, until 3 or 4 months before the war's end, when a particularly bright nob suddenly realized, "Hey, I think the Allies are going to win !" It was then that they declared war against that whole axle-merger group.

Said decision pretty much killed any chance for on-site filming of "The Boys From Argentina."

After that it was basically one dictator after another. For instance, I think Madonna ruled the country for a short time.

Then in 1982, one of these rulers, Galtieri--who just happened to be a Lt. General in his spare time--came up with another great idea...."Let's invade the Falkland Islands!"

Now, Galtieri thought Britain wouldn't know what was going on, since Argentina referred to them as "Las Islas Malvinas," but the Brits had not been holding on to their last colony cards for nothing. I mean, they needed something to balance out Gibralter as a vacation spot, climatologically speaking.

It was all over in just a few short fortnights, which is about the amount of time it took for British warships to steam on down that-a-way.

But let's jump forward to today, and let's get more personal.

What is Sharon doing in this multi-cultural land, and for that matter, WHERE is she?

Fulfilling the second of two foreign country stints, Sharon is staying in "Ciudad de la Santísima Trinidad y Puerto de Santa María de los Buenos Aires," or as we say in the United states, "This is WAY too long a name for the immigration forms....what say we just call it Buenos Aries." (OK, the city started out using that long name, which means "City of the Most Holy Trinity and Port of Saint Mary of the Fair Winds," but wisely decided to go with the "Fair Winds" part)

Sharon is studying courses in Spanish language, culture and literature, imbedded with nationals after signing away her English-speaking privileges. (course, she spoke English to me on the phone, because my being a smart-aleck does not equate to being smart :-)

Dear me.....so many fun facts and so little time.

We MUST do this again some day, if I remember.

Until then,

Hasta la vista......maybe.
 

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Man oh man.....

...don't ya just hate it when you check on the crockpot right before supper and find it hasn't been plugged in?

Plan B: the skillet
 

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The Ma Side

 
Even in death Jeremy Mouse refused to kowtow to convention. If he must succumb to poison, than by George, he was going down against the grain! 
 

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First off.....

.....I am so hyped after the World Series, I can-NOT sleep.

Finally, FINALLY, the team we were rooting for, won :-)

You may ask, "Ma, just how did you decide between the two teams?"

There were several important factors:

First, the Tigers knocked out the Yankees, so...like, it was a no-brainer. Of COURSE we were going for whatever team played the Detroit Tigers.

Secondly, we happen to have three Cardinal's T-shirts, between Ethan and Nolan. Oh sure, Goodwill may have played a part, but some things were just--meant--to--be.

Thirdly, St. Louis had better vocalists for the national anthem and "God Bless America." True, they weren't a whole lot better, but they definitely weren't as bad. Let's just say there was less induced cringing and leave it at that.

Unusual criteria, but critical nonetheless.
______________________

On another (sour) note, I have some advice for people phoning me with voting messages:

DON'T CALL ME WHEN I AM TAKING A NAP!!! fer cryin' out loud. If you do not know WHEN I will be taking a nap, just do the entire nation a favor and stop calling altogether!!

I cannot WAIT for this election to be over. We need to clear the airwaves of those hokey campaign blurbs and get back to entertaining programming.....like Capital One commercials.
 

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Sore Arm Syndrome

Seeing as flu season approacheth, and seeing as all heart transplantee family members are required to get a flu shot, it seemed a good thing to call our local doctor.

Upon hearing they had just completed one flu shot clinic and didn't not know when the next 500 vials would arrive, things suddenly did not seem so good any more.

However, I was informed that the Health Department would be doing their own clinic today from 2-4 and they would have 800 vaccinations on hand. Eight hundred....hmm....it seemed like it might be enough for our family. A good thing.

"Would they take our insurance cards?" I queried. "Yes, they will."

Again, a good thing.

As we sat in the waiting room this afternoon, the lady looked up from her desk and asked, "Can I help you?"

"You are giving flu shots today?"

"Yes, but only for adults." (not a good thing)

"Well, I was told yesterday that I could bring in my whole family to get a flu shot...."

"Just a minute and I'll check..."

*copious checking*

"Here, you will need to fill out these forms. (They located the pediatric vials--A good thing) The children are free but you and your husband will have to pay." (NOT a good thing)

"But I was told that we could present our insurance cards...."

"Oh...well, that was the clinic....they probably don't know that we can't accept insurance cards. You and your husband will need to pay $26.00 dollars each."

(just for the sake of reference, that's approximately 20 bags of Dove's Dark Chocolates)

It was at this point that Loren made the executive decision to just get the kids immunized, and have us old folks come back to the doctor's office at a later date.

From 17-year-old to 4-year-old, each one went in with grim determination and came through with nary a yelp. Even Trevor gave only a shudder and slight jump, but out of his mouth, not even a squeak.

The health nurses were im-pressed ! Each of the seven received a certificate for a free mini pizza from Godfather's, PLUS, everyone was offered a sticker, though I noticed the oldest three declined their adhesive badges of courage.

This could prove so lucrative that we may have to go out and get more shots at another location.

Oh alright.....we won't. There are a few sore arms and I've already administered pain reliever to three persons. And Nolan was downright lethargic. But they should snap back to their usual perky selves.

It helps that tomorrow is the last day of school for the week.

And unless you're taking the SAT test, weekends are always a good thing.
 

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Applesauce Day!

The morning dawned, clear and cold. While heading off to exercise, I glanced out the window to see a beautiful sunrise. I ran downstairs to snap a picture....
 
....I would need all the inspiration I could muster for this day.

Before any cutting can begin, each apple must be washed.
 
I had done up about 50 before breakfast, but Carolyn soon took over the main job of apple washing, though Kendra pitched in later to catch up with zealous cutters.

At times there were four people halving, coring and slicing.
 
Usually certain people were assigned certain tasks, but occasionally Ethan had to branch out from his beloved (and easy) halving. Despite many pleas to the contrary, Nolan was not given a knife.

Here we have proof that there actually were four pots on the stove! The large black one is a recent acquisition from Goodwill and made this day's venture more productive than ever.
  
If you look closely (Thainamu :-) you can see steam rising from two pots, while the burner is red hot under another. You'll just have to take my word for it that the fourth one was not a shill.

After the apples are cooked with a bit of water until soft, they are put through the ricer.
 
Ethan demonstrates this handy kitchen gadget. It separates the peels while allowing the apple goodness to ooze out through the little holes. I don't know if these are actually produced any more, for my mother got this one at a sale. She used to use it to make mashed potatoes as well as applesauce.

Even the youngest can be conned....I mean convinced to help out.
 
Trevor was quite willing to go out to the addition and bring in more apples for the washers. He started out with five or ten, but when he came in with a large dish tub full, the other kids broke out into spontaneous cheering.

("Wait a sec....hold still so I can get your picture.....no, over a little bit....whaddya mean it's getting heavy?.....")

Nolan was happy to start filling freezer containers with the finished product. He also stirred sugar into the apply mass, and helped Trevor bring in more apples to wash.
 
But mostly, Nolan just kept asking if he could use a knife.....

Applesauce cooling in the pans. It was all I could do to find enough big pots and bowls to hold the stuff.
  
We didn't put all of it into the freezer at once, as that would have taken a LONG time to freeze. Also, I didn't want to compromise the huge turkey already sitting in there--a gift for some computer work Loren did.

In the end, we easily broke our old record of some 60 quarts finished in a single day. When it was all done and counted, 85 quarts were placed into the large chest freezer in the addition, :-) not counting a couple of quarts that we just ate.

And those are only from the Red Delicious trees. We still have several large boxes of apples from our VERY productive Dwarf Worthy tree, slated for saucing next week....by which time we should be recovered from yesterday's labors. The last pot was not pulled from the stove until 7:30, and there was much washing up to do and poor Ma's feet were MOST tired from all that standing, convincing Kendra and me of one thing--we would probably not make good farm wives (from the old days) and furthermore, I really do like my regular day job, which does allow some respite by sitting at my computer :-D

P.S. college personnel who do not initiate contact with their chère maman may or may not have access to the applesauce when they come home for Christmas break.
 

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The Diet Report

Today's weigh-in:  1W3.5 pounds. That makes this week's weight loss 1.5 pounds, or 11 pounds over 7 weeks.

*is VERY happy*

Never mind the fact that every time I get on the scale the day before AND the day after Tuesday it is always lower. NEVER MIND. It will all come out in the wash, sooner or later.

BIG, BIG day up at the big house. So big, I won't have much time to blog. (hold down the applause, please...)

We have proclaimed today to be FALL APPLESFEST DAY.

This means:
-no school
-the kids are at my beck and call for the making of applesauce

Right now they are having a tiny break while I get my apple pans coordinated as to heat and cooking and all that good stuff. I currently have four pots bubbling nicely on the stove.

This could be a record setting day in the number of quarts we can process.

Especially if I get off this crazy computer...
 

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Shopping Day

Another shopping day, another great deal.

More about that later....

....first, we pulled into Goodwill and what should I spy? But sister-in-law Elizabeths car! Wow, and I didn't even know she was up here from Oklahoma.

Probably trying to muscle in on my Goodwill store, no doubt :-) Except, the licence plate was Iowan. Oh well.

That pretty yellow car reminded me that some day....SOME DAY....I will be driving around my own little dream car...a cream colored PT Cruiser.
 
Maybe in another 14 years or so...just as soon as Trevor goes off to college.

Having gone into my wardrobe procurement establishment of choice, I snatched me a cart and began meandering down the center aisle. It wasn't long before my eye was attracted to a beige sweater. My eye was further drawn to the original store tag, still dangling from a short but demure sleeve.

I turned it over and took notice of the numbers, "$42.00."
 
It was right about then that I had an incredible epiphany....

"MA....! You need a beige sweater!"

:-D

WITH shoulder pads. Automatically makes you look like you're standing up straight AND a few pounds thinner.

Then I found a nifty skirt to go along with, and VOILÀ! A new Sunday outfit is born.

*cheers*

Cold hard logic has its merits, but hot-sized savings are not to be sneezed at.

Now, who da Ma? I say....

WHO DA MA?!?
  

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Ma's Newsy Nuggets

Of course we must not forget National Mole Day, already referred to in the post below. (come on now, don't make me link to it, just scroll down....)

And while we've all heard of the "freshman 15," there has been a recent revision. It will be REAL interesting to see how much weight ol' Jason has put on when we see him for Christmas....heh, heh.

And keeping within the broad subject of science/health, it appears another mental health "disease" has made it's debut....Paris Syndrome.....

That's all from the gravel road, where people wave to those they don't know....
 

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Set your clocks for 6:02 a.m......

.....because tomorrow is National Mole Day!

Kendra brought this to my attention, and well it should be the focus of any good chemistry student.

I've just learned about it myself, so have not had a great deal of time to prepare for any big festivities.

Offhand, I'd say we're going to start celebrations by sleeping in until 7:00.

I encourage everyone to brush up on their mole pledges, which go as follows:

I pledge allegiance to the mole, and to the science from which it comes, one SI unit, extremely divisible, with micromoles and millimoles for all. (Provided by R. Thomas Myers - Kent State University, Kent, OH)


I pledge allegiance to the mole, to the International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry, and to the atomic mass for which it stands, one number, most divisible, with atoms and molecules for all. (Provided by Sylvia Cooper - Morgantown High School, Morgantown, WV)

There are even free (e)greeting cards to send to loved ones and/or people who have a knack for blowing things up in the lab.

So let's show some Mole Day spirit!
______________

In redundant news, Detroit provided more unexceptional music for the World Series game this evening.

There's only so much underwhelmedness a person can take....
 

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Look.......doors !

  
They're not finished yet. They still have to be put into tracks....or something.

But at least the coons will be kept out :-)

In other news, the World Series started this evening.

We don't watch a lot of sports. I mean, let's face it.....football and basketball are pretty boring.....(heh, heh)

But BASEBALL....now that can be interesting. At least once a year, or so.

Of course, it would have been more interesting if the Yankees were in the series. But on the up side, we can be thankful that 95% percent of Americans are happy.....at least that's the impression I get concerning the Yankees.

Oh well.

When we tuned in this evening, I was a little put off. The game hadn't started yet and here were three strange people doing the pregame.

I'm asking myself, "Hey, where's my ol' buddy Joe Buck? Where's Tim McCarver, fer cryin' out loud?!

Instead, we were presented with a couple scruffy guys and what I can only describe as a scary-looking-woman-with-big-hair.

(I don't know what it is, but female sportscasters just put me off. It irks me to say it, but it's true)

What a re-LIEF to finally see the pros come on the screen. (And Jo Buck is in some funny commercials, too. Almost as funny as our favorite, the Star Trek one for the big screen TV :-)

It was also a shame that the New York Mets did not make it to the series. We all voted them on after that spectacular catch to prevent a home run in the last innings of the final playoff game.

But alas, it was not to be.

ONE MORE THING before I quit yakking about things I have no business opining about....

.....at least when the Yankess host a game, they get some good singing talent!

You've got your Ronan Tynan singing the com-PLETE "God Bless America," or your New York Metropolitan Opera star singing the National Anthem with a tasteful accompaniment of classical guitar.

But tonight we were forced to listen to Bob Seeger's version of "America." How someone with no voice can earn a Grammy or two is beyond comprehension. It's a case of "The Emperor Has No Voice," if you ask me.

And at the seventh inning stretch, Detroit trotted out a Motown hopeful, who yelled her way through "God Bless America" in the style that has endeared itself to so many potentially deaf people......and it wouldn't have been that bad, except.....SHE COULDN'T REACH THE LAST NOTE!!

I kept praying, "NO! DON'T TRY FOR THE HIGH ENDING....!"

But you know what they say......Sometimes the Lord answers "Yes," sometimes He answers "No," and sometimes He allows the musical injustice of mediocre solos at a ball game.

I'd better stop. I don't know what's come over me....*sigh*......I'm usually not this mean.

But at least I have the dignity to know I can't sing.
 

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Announcement and Appeal

*AHEM*

I have now finished all of the Christmas shopping.

It's a gift.

(Well, I didn't get anything for Loren, but I figure the very best gift he could receive is to stop seeing those little PayPal notations in the checkbook)

I have also finished all the birthday shopping for the 4 people in November and December, with the exception of Jason.

So, I will now be taking suggestions for a present or two in regards to the newest college student of the family.

He's a trifle stingy with his communication (due to his zeal for studying, no doubt) but he's a decent sort of chap, and since his birthday falls during the time of Christmas break, I really feel compelled to get him some-thing.

Preferably in the range of 20-25 dollars (total), so...like.....25 candy bars would be one conceivable option. Or, we could go the sugarless gum route.

Well then, let the games begin.....
 

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Q and A with Ma

Q: So, Ma, you've been doing a bit of running around of late...what gives?

A: Well, I took Kendra down to Cedar Rapids to take the SAT...or I should say, I sat as she did all the driving. She managed pretty well, including following my bad directions.

Then this past week I drove Derek in to Ackley to take a practice PSAT test. He'll take it for real next year when he's a junior.

Q: I'll bet you're glad that's out of the way, eh?

A: Yes, except Derek has to take the ITED's (Iowa Test of Educational Development) in November--the yearly test required by Iowa for high schoolers--and then in December there is the PLAN test. That's a warm-up for the ACT test he'll take the spring of his junior year. Then there will be a break until April, when I take the 2nd-8th graders in to Waterloo for the yearly ITBS (Iowa Test of Basic Skills)

Say....are you yawning.....?!

Q: No, no.....but my, that sounds like a lot of testing!

A: Oh yeah. The kids complain a bit, but they have no idea what it's like for ME...the driving, the waiting for scores.....it's brutal, man. I really have to get psyched up....*sigh*....but no one said life was gonna be easy.

Q: And aside from the rigors of testing, what is the hardest thing in your life right now, Ma? Is there anything that scares you?

A: Well sure. There are the usual things with a big family and young kids....seeing someone do something that could get them hurt is pretty scary. But I'd have to say one of the most frightening experiences is being at work on your computer and then suddenly seeing the screen turn an appalling shade of blue.....and...and then those horrible words pop up, "Dumping memory to disk...."

Q: Whoa! I guess that explains the sight of your lap-top unfolded..."

A: Oh yeah....you know, you're pretty perceptive, for a reporter.

Q: And you're displaying amazing calm through all of this, I must say. Anything else in the works?

A: Well, I recently cleaned out the freezer in preparation for making applesauce. It was quite a job, let me tell you. A LOT of containers of applesauce from the fall of 2004 were thrown away.

Q: I don't think I understand, Ma...

A: It all stems back to a twelve day trip our family took in 2005. There was a bad electrical storm that passed through soon after we left, and we think a breaker switch might have gotten flipped.....but when we returned, it was clear the large chest freezer had been in the "off" position for QUITE a while.

Q: Not a pretty sight, I take it?

A: Or smell. I had the usual unpacking and laundry to catch up on, so I just refroze everything, intending to get to it "later."

Q: So, like....we're talkin' eighteen months later?

A: Yeah, well, it's not as if it was written into the prenups or anything.

Q: Oh.....you mean you and your husband have a prenuptial agreement?

A: Well no....but if we'd had one, I'd had made sure a lot of flex-time was included for cleaning out freezers.

Q: Right...and just what is your method for cleaning out a freezer in that condition?

A: The usual.....turn everything off and start the unpacking and burying process.

Q: Did you say burying?

A: Uh-huh. See....I figured the stuff had to be disposed of some way. And I wanted to use all those containers again...so, I carted it out to where the compost pile used to be and gave it a decent burial. I'm not inhumane, after all.

And then there was sub-stan-tial frost build up on the sides and bottom. At least an inch or two of liquid on the floor of the freezer had refrozen. It was somewhat disturbing. And being short was a big disadvantage. I was practically standing on my head.

And my glasses.....they were ALL fogged up. But hey....I'm not one to complain.

Q: Certainly not. Now I'm sure we're all wondering just how you managed to dislodge that ice. What is your tool of choice?

A: I finally settled on a hammer. I fooled around with a table knife and a spatula, but once I started whacking away with that hammer, I got a-MAZ-ing results. And you really don't notice much when the door is closed.

Now I just have to wash out about a gazillion freezer containers and we'll be all set to start making applesauce next week.

So....how abouts we roll up our sleeves and get started....

Q: Wha....?

A: Don't hassle me, son. I've got a lotta room in that freezer now...
 

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The Ma Side

 
Chippy wasn't sure just why he loved the high wire so much. Oh...maybe it was the adrenaline rush, or the adoring looks from gushy squirrel-girls watching from the safety of their trees. What-ever it was, he liked it. He liked it a lot.

Besides, it was a good way to keep his feet warm in the winter...
  

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Ma joke #3

Three Mas go into an organic juice bar.

Ma #1 orders a low-salt Carrot Creation, with extra B complex and low foam.

Ma #2 orders a Celery Smoothie with a pinch of cilantro....hold the strings.

Ma #3 orders a V9, extra foam and heavy on the ice.

After receiving their drinks, the three ladies sit down at a cosy table and continue their animated discussion:

Ma #1 "....and I think the thing I most admire about G.K. Chesterton's 'Orthodoxy' is the way he describes the cosmos as both physically and epistemologically too complex for the finite mind to fully comprehend. So.....basically, the only thing we can do is appreciate what we can and accept that there is a power beyond us."

Ma #2 "Oh definitely! Now, take the rationalists. They view themselves as the source of all meaning. But as Chesterton says, in the struggle and strain to understand everything, the consistent rationalist is actually driven mad as they end up losing everything but their reason."

Ma #3 " Ex-act-ly. And as he quotes on.....*sound of flipping pages*......oh here it is...on page 48......'if this be what drives men mad, what is it that keeps them sane'?”

*POP*

"....wha....??"

"Wake up, Honey....wake up!"

"Huh...?

"I heard a coughing sound.....I think one of the kids threw up....."

Ma #Zero rolls out of bed and mumbles to herself, "Yeah....I don't feel so good myself...."
 

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Just for the record...

...the siding is finished on the garage :-)
 
Today Loren was messing with the garage doors, which may be next. Once they are installed we won't have to play a little TV all night long to keep the raccoons away from the eaves.

Life can be complicated in the country.
  

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Ma's Newsy Nuggets

With all the hoopla over fat kids these days, banning tag may have an undesired effect. But at least everyone will be "safe."

In keeping with health....have you ever wondered where "baby carrots" come from? Thainamu has the answer. (By the way, you should SEE all the language-related works she and husband Gary have produced!)

If you are traveling soon, you might want to take advantage of these low fares....providing you find yourself in the British Isles :-)

Moving on down to the south, a truly alarming situation that could have an effect on my sanity. Will chocolate become scarce?

And on the same continent, youth could be redefined....if you live in Kenya.
 

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The Diet Report

This week's weigh-in:  1W5 pounds. That is a .5 pound loss for this week, bringing the total weight loss to 9.5 pounds over 6 weeks.

I'm pretty happy, since I figured this week was gonna be a complete bust. An alteration of schedule, plus.....how shall I say this......the "from time to time" hormonal attack that basically makes women feel like snarfing everything in sight, with enhanced vocalizations....

("STOP YELLING, you guys! You KNOW I can't stand yelling in this house!")

You just have to feel sorry for the menfolk, sometimes. But, in keeping with one's obligation toward self-control, I do try not to wallow needlessly in pity for others.

All this to say...losing a mere half pound was still a triumph.

Another bonus, my second Anonymous 4 CD arrived today!
  
And I will concur, "Sweet Hour of Prayer" and "Shall We Gather at the River" do sound like the singing of angels.

And while this group is not perfect, they do achieve a kind of ethereal sound which is reminiscent of Renaissance music.

Or, they could be using a lot of reverb, I don't know :-)

The highest singer has the best voice, which can overshadow the others at times, but I like the CD.

One interesting side-light is that the group of four women often sing an introductory verse in shaped-note tones. (also referred to as sacred harp singing)

And this brings back memories, for when I was a little girl, the Mennonite church my family attended still utilized a hymnal with shaped notes. Not that many could sing from that system, but there they were on the page, a silent testimony to colonial history.

And speaking of history, I should really start school with Nolan....
 

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I like the comics

Over the Hedge

B.C.

 

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Name this picture

 

1)  "I went up the ladder last time. Now it's your turn."
2)  "How long do we have to wait for the vinyl siding gods to say if it's ok to continue?"
3)  "Come to think of it, maybe those windows are upside-down..."
4)  "It really doesn't look too bad. Do you think your mother would mind if we left it like this?"
5)  .............. 
 

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In case you're applying to an "elite" college....

...be prepared for some tricky questions.

Forty-eight years old is looking pretty good about now...
 

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Church Art by Nolan

So, I bought two new little notebooks for Trevor and Nolan to draw on during church. And as the usual 3x5 size was not to be had at Wal-Mart for love nor Ma-ful whining, I gave in to motherly indulgence and splurged on the larger 4x6 tablets.

This, of course, made both boys as happy as little cherubic clams.

Nolan in particular was agape at the thought of all that paper, just waiting for the stroke of his #2 pencil. You could practically see the cogs of imagination wheeling in all directions.

Here's one from this morning.
 
Seems like a tad early for the whole Christmas theme (notice the included cross?) but he could have been perusing a seasonal book... The two figures in the lower right corner are himself and Trevor. When I inquired the meaning of the number "528" he replied, "That's the chapter." Anyway, all persons having discernable faces appear happy, though that "camel" might wanna lay off the carbs....

Next we come to an aquatic scene.
 
Under sunny (albeit somewhat square) skies, Ethan has just caught an exuberant fish, while Nolan is in the midst of a rather athletic leap from the dock. Underwater we see Carolyn holding a large fish, which I was informed is of female persuasion. The fish--which looks to be gnawing on a supporting post--is really just going, "GRRRR."

This one from last week is my favorite :-)
  
I admit to glancing down from the sermon and being so intrigued that I asked Nolan to describe the rainy-day scene. His reply? "One guy is thinking about worms and the other guy is not thinking about worms.

I guess that makes sense :-)
 

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Jeff Foxworthy says you must be an Iowan if.......

You've never met any celebrities...and you don't really care.

Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a
tractor on the highway.

"Vacation" means driving through the Amanas or going to Adventureland.

You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were
popular.

You measure distance in minutes.

Down south to you means Missouri.

You know several people who have hit a deer.

You have no problem spelling or pronouncing Des Moines.

You know the answer to the question, "Is this Heaven?"

Your school* classes were canceled because of cold.

Your school classes were canceled because of heat.

You know what "Hawks, Panthers, and Clones" are.

You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.

You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better".

You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.

Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.

You see a car running in the parking lot at the Quick Stop with no one in it no matter what time of the year.

You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition.
Example: Where's my coat at?"

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable or animal.

You can locate Iowa on the US map.

Detassling was your first job or that of a brother or sister.

You've been on a "Geode Hunt".

Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice.

You learn your pickup will run without a muffler.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say "It was different".

You consider being called a "Pork Queen" an honor.

People from other states love to hear you say Iowa and other words with "Os" in them.

You carry jumper cables in your car.

You drink "pop".

You know what the numbers 80, 35, 280 and 380 mean.

You know what "cow chips" are.

You actually understand these statements and pass them on to all your Iowa friends.

*unfortunately, most of the school related statements do not apply to homeschoolers :-(

(Thanks to Gary Ploeger for this email forward :-)
 

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Sunrise

  
 

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Lego Harvest

  

It's that time of year again. Time for all Lego construction to center around the season.

This year we have enough blocks to support two...count 'em, TWO combines! Plus a semi and a grain bin, not pictured. (which incidentally, happens to be square)

In the foreground we see Nolan's combine performing some intricate field maneuvers involving a ruler.

In the background, Carolyn's hands supervise the off-loading of Trevor's grain into the semi truck. Trevor is immersing himself in the harvest experience by making continuous whooshing noises.

I believe it's called, "method whooshing."

(HEY...don't some of you kids have school??)
___________________

In other news, it might be my imagination, but I'm beginning to detect the faint odor of manure in-side the house. The winds should calm down by Sunday, though....
___________________

In other, OTHER news, Kendra and I will travel down to Cedar Rapids where we will bunk with Ardith this evening. Then it's off to the mighty College de Coe at the wee hour of 7:45, where Kendra will undergo the rigors of the mighty SAT, for which she has been prepping these last 6 weeks.

Every practice test has improved her score by about 40 points, so we shall see. And afterwards, she can drown her sorrows in the promised meal at Arby's.

It's a lot of grief to suffer for a beef-n-cheddar, but nobody said life would be easy.....
 

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Tales of a two-day post

Another Library Day......another five forgotten books

Time was precious. We left at 2 p.m. Allowing for 30 minutes to, between and home from the libraries, that left us with just 45 minute allotments AT each library, plus a small amount of flex-time.

It was going to be close.

First stop, Hampton. Everything proceeded according to schedule, though we were momentarily distracted by falling snowflakes upon exit.
  
(notice the "15 minute parking" sign? I think that's for speed-readers....)

Travel to Iowa Falls proceeded in a timely manner, with minor wind buffets.

Dropping off the older kids and books, I took the youngest three boys to the grocery store to lay in a supply of milk for the weekend. I only had to say "No" three times and Trevor did make slappy noises with his tennis shoes, but all in all, it was quite tolerable.

Back to the Iowa Falls library, where it was not long until the librarian brought me five books belonging to the Hampton library.

"AARRRRGGHHH" We were just there....(never mind, it'll be alright)

A quick pose by Trevor in his Bob the Builder shirt.
 
I bought it at Goodwill several months ago, and he's been waiting all summer to wear it :-)

Home again, home again, smelling the hogs,
 as the (formerly green) tankers lay down dark goo on the field across the road....and yes, we are downwind :-(

And while I applaud this use of leftover manure from the hog lot lagoons (doesn't that just conjure up a Peter Pan image?)
 
this does wear a little thin.....*checks watch*.....after 2:00 a.m.

And no, I don't care who knows that I am ticked, since I am running Kendra down to Cedar Rapids tomorrow (I mean later, THIS) afternoon for el biggo testo SATo on Saturdayo. It appears I will have to take el nappo before I gogo....which brings up a whole nuther issue....that of how to determine the pseudo Spanish ending for the verb, "to go....."

Obviously, someone needs to (try to) go to bed.
 

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Frosted Shingles

  

Just a wee bit 'o snow overnight. And before anyone goes and gets jealous, let me hasten to add that the wind is gusting up to 30 mph and it does not feel nice outside...no, it does not.

This should be very fun later today, when we take the 15 passenger van on the library run.

But I have never been blown off the road. Yet.

(and if I do, you can be sure I will take pictures)
 

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I love when music comes by mail

This arrived today, and I've been through it twice, playing a few favorites over and over.

"Barbara Allen" is just about the bestest there is, followed closely by "Early One Morning" and "The Oak and the Ash."

Then, wonder of WONDERS, out from the speakers came "O Waly, Waly" :-) I've been looking for this a LONG time. Our high school choir director used it almost every day to warm up the concert choir. I cannot help but have fond memories every time I hear that song. Mr. Richard Dick was the most influential teacher I ever had, a fine Christian man who spent a lot of his extra-curricular time carting the swing choir to concerts, taking us skiing and having the group over to his home every single year.

In fact, the saddest moment of the graduation experience was that last party at their home. His sweet wife is one of those homemakers who can make you feel that you've walked into a fairyland, with the exquisite decorative touches, all contrived by her in thought and workmanship.

Mr. Dick arranged for me to audition for the piano teacher at Grace College, where I was blessed to receive a Merit Scholarship. Then I met Loren in Music Theory class and well.....the rest is history.

Someday it would be fun to take the whole family and sing that song. Just a special little concert for Theresa and him.

Ah well, enough living in the past....

As I was saying...I love my CD :-)

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Working at the Garage

Looky, looky. Loren has another side of the garage done, complete with window and door.
 
Kendra and I helped hold the window in place while Loren was sticking shims to get it even......"It looks FINE !".......*sound of panting*

From another angle. The weather has been overcast, thus the poor lighting.
  
There are several windows to go in this wall. But that will have to wait, as a front is heading on down/over/up/through. It is raining and the potential of snow holds forth for tomorrow.

Right about now, Loren is wishing he had that week up at Mayo back, so he could have gotten more accomplished. (though as you can see, he's been QUITE productive)

If we do get a few flakes, I'll be sure to snap a pic and post it. There's nothing quite so rewarding as making people down south, a bit jealous. Though really, we are not anxious for snow at the moment.

And if it weren't so dark, I could get some wonderful photos of the manure trucks going back and forth, back and forth, spreading a little "honey" from the hog lots on the field across from us.

Admit it, that's enough to make you jealous, also. Yeah, I knew it.....

Hey though, on another note....

HEALTH ALERT!!

If you drink carrot juice, watch out. And this is not just for Canada. Four people in the United States--the southern United States, are in dire health trouble because of the botulism-tainted juice.

* Bolthouse Farms 100 per cent Carrot Juice.
* Earthbound Farm Organic Carrot Juice.
* President's Choice Organics 100 per cent Pure Carrot Juice.

Just so's ya know...
 

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Ma's News Nuggets

Two themes, today....contests and travel.

Meet the newest winner of the jalapeño eating contest.

Doesn't he look like a happy camper?

Sooner or later, the same people that are outlawing trans fats in restaurants will put the nix on this type of competition. But hopefully not before Loren has time to consider this money-making possibility, now that he's retired.

And does this record setting endeavor sound more reasonable? Like the smart man said...."Don't try this at home."

Moving on...literally. There's a time to follow directions, and a time to ignore them.

*sigh*

What a waste of a perfectly good Mercedes.

Now, here waits a man of principle.

Let's hope he never needs an ambulance.

On another note, if there appear to be two identical posts from earlier this morning, have no fear. All will be set to rights. Four words suffice as explanation, and four words only....

It's all Blogger's fault.
 

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The Diet Report

Today's weigh-in: 1W5.5 pounds. That's a weight loss of 1.5 pounds for the week, bringing the total weight loss to 9 pounds over five weeks.

*is happy*

And I have another reason to be gleeful....it involves a picture. A picture most intriguing.

Imagine, if you will, seven strapping young men in the prime of their collegiate lives. They are standing, all agird in gladiator attire. Or at least a reasonable facsimile, given cheapo yard goods from Wal-Mart.

Upon closer inspection, there appears to be something vaguely familiar about one of these fine male specimens.....could it be? In-DEED! He hath the very likeness of an offspring....one tenth of the whole "bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh" scenario.

Now, the question arises of how I came to acquire this photo. For-sooth, I have cast my web of spies both far and wide, both north and south.

Particularly south.

Sooner or later, one such contact will pay enormous dividends. In this case, it involved an alert photographer, a "face de book" and another "Ma de *M.O.C.K."

The next great question of course, is what to DO with this information? On the one hand, should I risk the alienation of a blood relative by posting the picture on the blog?

On the other hand...what about the public's right to know?

It is indeed a weighty dilemma.....to post, or not to post.....that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous (pictorial) fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, however Fall Festian in nature.

It might behoove a certain college freshman to consider what it would be worth to keep said picture off the blog. Not that I am susceptible to bribes...oh no.

But a reasonable exchange of conviviality would go a long way, particularly if parceled out on a regular basis....shall we say, weekly?

Always remember: "Out of proximity" should never be equated with "Out of one's clutches."

*Mothers Of College Kids--a loosely organized group of Moms who's job it is to pray for, encourage, annoy, or embarrass their progeny and/or their unfortunate friends...whichever seems the more needful. (note: it is rumored they may soon be starting their fall membership drive)
 

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Crafty, Thrifty Ma

It has been a reasonably productive day. To the amazement of most family members, I brought in the pumpkin, cut it up and stewed her down for pies on Thanksgiving.
 
This activity is all the more astounding given the fact that we did not plant pumpkins this year. Two grew up as volunteers from the ones I neglected last year.

Poor Ethan. After all the trouble of planting, watching and making feeble attempts to cultivate last year....only to have his procrastinating mother neglect the pumpkin cook-off SO long as to cause consternation and mold.

And not necessarily in that order.

But I have redeemed myself! This year, there will be authentically homemade pumpkin pies from authentically homegrown pumpkins.

There will BE no snide, squash-related comments THIS year.

Naturally, that would be enough to keep Ma going for the rest of the week....but just let me tell you about my amazing buy at Good-WILL today...no, let me SHOW you:
 
On the left is a short-sleeved jean dress by Karen Scott. Notice the price tag on the right side. If you could but see it you would observe the little number $29.00. Yes, that's right. Some store wanted almost 30 bucks for that garment.

It's never been worn (hence, the tags) and I snatched it up for a mere 4 buckeroos.

*bows modestly*

Now, take a gander to the right, at the cutesy checkered summerish outfit. Again bearing price tags. (this time by Sag Harbor...and no, not JUST Sag Harbor, but Sag Harbor Sport)

Let's see, what are the prices on these two complimentary items? Hmmm, it looks like $30.00 for the top, and another $30.00 for the capris pants.

And what did Ma pay for this perfectly new ensemble? I admit, it cost a little more. Five dollars.

That makes......approximately $90.00 worth of clothing for only nine dollars!

*grins gloatingly*

(one, two, three, four..)

"Who--da Ma?
Bestest of dem aw..
She can find da bargains as we stan an gape our jaw."

"She--be cool.
Ain't nobody's fool.
Tells us how you does it, Ma, we caint hep but drool."

"You--so fine.
Love youse all da time.
Savin' lots o' money is a callin' mos sublime."

"Who--da Ma?
Who--da Ma?....
Who--da Ma.....?"
  

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Jason's alive

I have just discovered a great new way to get certain errant college freshmen to communicate with their chère maman.

All one has to do is leave an IM message, (this works best if they are pretending to be "away")....something to the effect of, "You sure are a Turkey," or "What are we? Chopped liver?" or my personal favorite....."I WAS IN LABOR WITH YOU FOR NINTY-FIVE HOURS, fellah!

(Course, it was really only about five....but he doesn't need to know that)

And then, sooner or later, pure unadulterated shame will kick in and they will leave a message when YOU are away, or if they think the world is about to end, even TALK to you.

Oh sure, they might give some extremely lame excuse, claiming to study for a test or something, but at least you will have a modicum of contact.

And that's all any parent really asks for.....just a few crumbs of communication from time to time.

That, and undying loyalty, near adoration, and a lifetime of contributions to the Social Security fund.
 

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Range in Water

  
 

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Those hazy, crazy, payzy days of eBay

Yes folks, it is once again that time of year. Time for Ma to begin the hard but necessary work of gift acquirement. Christmas by itself is not all that bad. We usually just give one present to each offspring and then have several "family" presents. (though, the eldest have been known to reap more than one. I figure this gives the younger kiddos incentive to grow up)

But then there are two birthdays in November and two in December! (yes, I know....what WERE we thinking...) Generally, a birthday merits three or four gifts, so you can see why the pressure is on.

But let me assure you, Ma is up to the task. Already I can cross one Nov. person off the list for both birthday AND Christmas. All family gifts are taken care of, and four other Christmas presents are in the bag, with a December birthday in the offing.

But don't take my word for it.....here's an IM from last night:

Ma Hoyt: *sigh* only an hour and 20 minutes until I can go to bed. I'm waiting for an auction on eBay.
Grad Student: :-D What for?
MH: It's a *** of "**********." A "family" gift for Christmas. I have bought two others from the same buyer today (no one else is bidding....I feel kinda sorry for him)
MH: and if I get one more, I get reduced shipping for the 2nd and 3rd ones.
GS: Ah, I see.
GS: Not a bad choice.
MH: Well, one tries.
MH: You should HEAR some of the great feedback I have gotten as a buyer....
GS: I'm sure they lap you up.
MH: "2 THUMBS UP! FLAWLESS TRANSACTION w/SPEEDY PAY...AAA+++ ALL THE WAY!!!!"
GS: *Shudder*
GS: Sycophant.
MH: Oh wait, there's MORE...
MH: Here we go...
MH: "Wonderful customer…Ebay needs more people of this caliber! A++++!"
MH: Hear that? I got CALIBER.
GS: Spare me.
MH: Well, that's probably enough for now. I really hate to injure anyone's pschye.[sic]
MH: I am a VERY prompt payer.
MH: It pays to pay.
GS: Ah, the almighty dollar.
GS: Even you have been corrupted.
MH: Really, you just HAVE to hear one more...
GS: I am distraught.
MH: "Great Buyer and very polite; Will do business again."
GS: That's better.
MH: See? Polite AND calibre.[sic]
GS: But "great buyer"?
GS: That means profligate.
MH: *looks modest*
MH: No, no no. It just means I don't put off the payment part.
MH: Plus, it's probably a subtle reference to my waiting until the last 15 seconds to bid.
MH: It's a gift.
GS: The last of the great buyers.
MH: Let me know if you want any tutoring.
MH: I have very reasonable prices.
MH: And, I'm "polite."
GS: Oh, because that makes sense.
GS: Pay you so that I can pay other people more often.
MH: Some of us have it, and some of you don't.
GS: Chutzpah?
MH: Everytime I feel a little "down," I just go and look at my feedback.
GS: This is sick.
MH: *is laughing hysterically*
 

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Trevorisms

 

While wrestling with the top of a ketchup bottle:

"This lid is not co-op-uh-waiting!"
________________

Shades of Descartes:

"I thinked, and I thinked, and then I stopped thinking......and then I thought of something!"
 

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It takes so little......

....to thrill little kids.

This morning, nine letters arrived in the mail. Nine letters from the same organization. One for Loren, myself, Trevor, Nolan, Ethan, Carolyn.....etc.

Everyone under twelve was ecstatic. "We got a letter! We got a letter !"

It was our local medical facility informing us that one of their PA's had resigned.

So, just to make sure this didn't slip past ANY person in the family, they sent it to EVERY person in the family. (probably a HIPPA privacy thing....)

No matter that some had only been there to get a flu shot, nine people needed to know and by gum, NINE PEOPLE NEEDED A LETTER!

In place of a postage stamp was a little sign:

PRE-SORTED STANDARD
Non-Profit Organization
(blah, blah, blah)

This brings up a little matter of how a medical facility which lives off our medical insurance (we have personally kept them going for years, now) gets non-profit status....but then, being just a homemaker, I'm not supposed to understand these things.

ANY-way, the youngest youngin's clutched their letters to their bosoms with cherished tenderness.

I may not have to give them Christmas presents, after all.

When asked if he was really going to keep the notice, Ethan replied, "Are you kidding? It's got phone numbers on it!"

*makes mental note to give Ethan an old phone book for his birthday*

*makes mental note to keep an eye on the phone....*

p.s. Jason, you received one also. Do you want me to send it to you, or just read it over the phone during one of your MANY calls home?
 

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The Windmills of Time

These are two of fifteen windmills that we pass in southern Minnesota on the drive up to Rochester.They've sprouted out of a patch of farmland and are a good landmark to help guide us on our way.
  
But, I wouldn't want one in our backyard.

And speaking of backyards....we are back, in our own yard :-)

Everyone is safe and sound and got along just fine while we were gone. Kudos to Kendra for watching over the tribe.

It is always great to pull into the drive and be greeted by hugs and kisses from the younger ones. As I approached the door, 4-year-old Trevor came down the steps with a face that combined mournfulness and uncertainty.

I'm fully aware that kids can seem to be quite normal while one is gone, and then just fall apart when you return, so this type of countenance didn't particularly bother me.

I pulled him into my arms and snuggled him close...."Ohhhh, it's nice to have my Trevor-boy back"....*kissing and hugging*....."Boy, did I miss you!.....*burrows his face into my neck*......"MMmmmmm"

"Ah yes," I'm thinkin' to myself, "THIS is what it's all about...."

At which point he pulled his head back and solemnly announced, "Tweasure Mountain doesn't wook on my com-pu-toh."

"OOOOhhhh. That's too bad..." (yeah....glad you missed me too, kiddo)

*grins*

Crazy little bunny.

*happy sigh*

It's good to be home.
 

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Out of Mayo - part 2

We got the news back about Loren's latest biopsy.....ZERO rejection!!

*sounds of cheering*

The biopsy as performed during the angiogram. And that turned out great, too. The coronary arteries are clear, Loren's lipids are down, and as I mentioned earlier, his cholesterol is looking simply super.

The results of the treadmill test showed that his capacity to exercise has almost doubled since last year.

*insert smiley face*

So there is basically good news all around.

There was a little disappointment in the results of the nerve test. (stemming from damage from a hematoma on the femoral nerve following that first angiogram when he arrested 11 years ago--got all that?)

This was a rather awful endurance test of a probe going up and down the leg giving progressively stronger electrical shocks. Then a needle was inserted up and down the leg. The probe was to test the nerves and the needle for the muscles.

And yeah, it's REALLY painful and uncomfortable. It was after this test was completed that Loren drove down to pick me up Tuesday night. I guess I owe him :-)

ANY-way, that femoral nerve sustained some damage long ago, but Loren was hoping that there might be a possibility to restore that with surgery. However, the test concluded that while he does have the nerve, not all the fibers of the nerve are firing. There may be a little improvement over the years, but don't expect much. Surgery will not be any help.

However, all the heart transplant issues are looking quite wonderful, and we are very thankful. With this zero rejection report, plans will move ahead to reduce the Prednisone in another month or so.
______________________

I am SO looking forward to sleeping in "ye olde bede" tomorrow night. There's just something about a rock hard mattress and slumber characterized by repeated episodes of only dozing that make me feel weary. Ma is positively drooping. But Mayo wants Loren to stick close due to risk of bleeding in the first 24 hours after an angiogram.

But tomorrow, we're OUTTA here :-D

Mayo: it's a nice place to be kept alive, but I wouldn't want to live here.
 

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Out of Mayo -part 1

You know, these St. Mary's library computers are REALLY slow. They are so slow, that Loren could easily keep up with his hunt and peck method. (Which reminds me....how many people out there would agree with Loren that at his age it would be impossible for him to learn to type with the appropriate fingers? It's perfectly OK if you agree with him--and disagree with me. I assure you there will be no altering of will-status or negation of cookies/apples to be sent. I am just curious as to how many people would take his line of thinking as opposed to being perfectly reasonable and siding with me....)

Speaking of Loren, he is in the cath lab at this moment. When I arrived at the nurses station (after going back to the motel to retrieve the pills he'd forgotten) I was issued a little pager. It will beep three times: the first time gives me the message he's been taken into the procedure room, the second beep pops up the message that he's coming out, the third tells me he's soon to be in final recovery room which will take three hours of watching and making certain the site does not bleed.

The last period of recovery I can join him and we may even watch a movie or two.

However, I have yet to hear the first beep, so I'm thinkin' it's gonna be a looonnnng day.

When you check in at 7:15, you expect to be wheeled into the lab before 10:00

*sigh*

I will be running back to check on that, soon....
_________________

It's the usual comedy of errors:
-forgotten medications
-wrong elevator
-missed seeing Loren taken back
-sat and waited for 40 minutes for the nurses to come for his pills
-went to cafeteria to get breakfast
-got a page for a call...."The nurses are here for the pills, now..."
-delicately snarfed rest of overpriced breakfast
-returned meds
-started for library and went down wrong hall
-arrived at library to find it wasn't open yet
-decided to wait, since it was only 20 minutes
-redeiscovered I'd looked at my watch wrong, and it was 40 minutes

On the good side:
-decided to stay anyway, since there are reasonably comfortable chairs in the hall and it is SO much quieter than the cardiac lobby with 2 TV's and several conversations
-made some progress on crossword puzzles and read several short stories by Saki
-checked in with kids and they are doing fine

That's all for the moment....
 

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The Carolyn Report

Remember yesterday when I mentioned catching a funny rhythm with Carolyn on the event monitor? I was able to send it over the phone and the good Doctor H. called me back this afternoon.

The five minutes of wackiness was an episode of atrial flutter. He doesn't see the need to do anything at the moment, just keep a watch on her with regular checkups like we've been doing.

He also said we can consider Derek and her as two peas in the same pod.

So.....yeah.
 

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The Mayo Report

Time for a little update on Loren.

Things are looking pretty good. Loren's cholesterol had gone down to 182 so that is simply great news :-) (think we should tell the docs he eats eggs and ice cream? Nah....)

So yesterday was one of the early wake-up calls for blood work, followed by the standard chest x-ray. Then it was off for a fun four hour test of kidney function. This is when they make you drink 4-5 cups of water and then have you sit around waiting for the kidneys to....well.....function. A VERY boring test, especially for the spouse who is stuck out in the waiting room.

Can't say as I missed being there.

The final appointment of the day was for an exercise test. Sample question from the test:

"Train A is traveling on a north by northwest track at 53 mph. Train B is traveling on a south by ever-so-slightly southeast track at 48 mph. If a baseball player threw a ball from Train A to Train B, just at the moment they were passing each other, what are the odds that most people would still hate the Yankees?"

Of course this is an ab-surd-ly phrased question. It should definitely be multiple choice.

Also, the dermatologist said Loren REALLY has to use a sunscreen every day. The meds make him more susceptible to skin cancer. Fifty percent of heart transplant patients develop skin cancer within 5 to 10 years.

*sigh*

I have two newly purchased containers of sunscreen that should get him through the winter months.

Today is a "fun" test of the damaged femoral nerve in his right leg, involving the poking and prodding of needles. And for some reason, several hours are allotted for this torture.

We are hoping that it will be much shorter because.....we have a plan. The plan involves Loren driving down to pick me up and whisk me off to Mayoland for two nights and one and a half days. The kids could get along fine for that length of time, and I would like to be around for el biggo angiogramo.

Every year an angiogram is performed on all the heart transplant patients to check for plaque buildup. Some of the first drugs used after transplant actually contribute to an aggressive form of PTV. No, I am not talking about Pakistani Television, I mean Post Transplant Vasculopathy.

It is the leading cause of death in heart transplant patients, after the initial danger of rejection is past. The actual drug to prevent rejection--Cyclosporin--is a contributing factor to the development of this disease. That is why most transplantees are switched over to Sirolimus sometime after a year. Sooner, if possible.

Sirolimus substantially protects the heart from PTV and can even help reverse it if already started. It is also much less stressful on the kidneys. (you may have noticed the link mentions it for kidney transplantation) Cyclosporin is a known antagonist of the kidneys. I met a man up at Mayo who had needed a kidney transplant, after having previously undergone a heart transplant.

Thankfully, Loren was switched from Cyclosporin to Sirolimus well before a year post transplant.

And that brings us back to the angiogram tomorrow. Loren was asked if he wanted to be part of a study to test how well those who've started on the Sirolimus early are doing compared to those who started later.

No extra pay for his participation, but the additional drugs and equipment (and any unfortunate occurrences) will be covered. It involves adding more of certain medications (and dye) to dilate the coronary arteries--taking pictures--and then constricting the same--taking pictures. Also, a larger lead is used and all of these changes call for a longer recovery time.

There is not supposed to be much of a risk and the GOOD part is that it takes place at St. Mary's hospital, instead of the clinic. So all facilities are available in the event of something untoward (there is always some risk with an angiogram) AND only the very best two doctors get to perform the angiogram in connection with this study.

That will be another early morning and long waiting time, but I would like to be there, if Loren feels up to running back this afternoon and evening. We'll see.

Thus ends the medical report for today :-)

Thought for the day:  A transplant at Mayo means you belong to them for life.
 

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The Diet Report

Today's weigh-in: 1W7 lbs. That's a weight loss of 1 pound for the past week, or 7.5 lbs in 4 weeks.

Which brings up a curious question: Why on earth do we have an abbreviation of "lb" for a word that HAS no "l" or "b" in it?

It all goes back to Latin. That glorious, sonorous and "Boy-do-we-have-fewer-exceptions-than-English" language. You know, the one people keep saying is dead.

Libra is a Latin word which can mean both "pound weight" and also stand for the "balance scales." (remember how the "Libra" constellation is supposed to look like a pair of balance scales?)

The "l" and "b" of Libra became the abbreviation, but the original phrase was "libra pondo" and it was the "pondo" part that led to our English word, "pound."

Neat, huh?

I knew you'd agree. And when you consider that up to 75% of our words are derivatives of Latin, and that the whole scientific nomenclature (birds, bees, body parts) relies on Latin, then it becomes pretty clear that the ancient Romans are having the last laugh.

Except of course, they are all dead....
 

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Glory Days for Little Boys

  

The youngest three were all aflutter as a combine came down the road this morning. It wasn't to harvest the field behind our house, but rather had designs on the field across the road, which is "pert near as good."

I went out and could not resist a picture of the two littlest monkeys awatch in a pine tree.

Needless to say, not a lot of school was accomplished with Nolan today. We did get a little bit done and I am chalking the day up as a "Harvest Delay." This is similar to the type of Fog Delay one could incur in a public school situation.

Administrative Power. I love it.

Despite the combinal distractions, it really was a busy day.

Loren called home around noon and gave me quite an update. I picked up the phone im-MED-iately after the first ring and he said, "Just waiting by the phone for me to call, ay?

Regrettably, I had to burst his bubble and explain that I'd just returned from my pre-lunch walk and was placing my "Conveyor of Oldies" (transistor radio with headphones) on the desk before preparing the post-walk lunch.

I'll give a more detailed report on him, later....

After lunch it was off to shopping, with my faithful driver Kendra, and two talkative boys in the seats behind us. The "Wheel of Fortunate Shoppers With Mommy" had spun around to Nolan and Trevor, who kept their mouths busy and my pen scribbling furiously to keep up with their kidsome logic.

I might give a more detailed report on their conversation, later...

Home again to watch depressing news, followed by a sen-SA-tional supper by Ma: Hamburgers. Yes! Real hamburgers--one for each kid--cooked up like they should be....in a pile of grease on the stove. A hearty thanks goes out to Fareway for pricing their cheapest ground beef even mucho cheapero than usual.

I'm in good with the kids for another year, at least.

There was a slight delay when Carolyn's heart went wacko, so I grabbed the event monitor and started slapping electrodes on right and left. (there are only two of them, one for below the left side of the heart, and one for above the right :-)

Lo and behold, we caught it! This won't seem like a big deal to most people, but when you've been trying to catch a run of weirdish beats and you can't get the device to comply or the heart settles down JUST as you press record....well, you'd just have to be there, in every sense of the word, to understand.

Tomorrow I'll send the recording down to Doc H's office over the phone and we'll see what he says. I may give a report on that, later...
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This whole warm-weather-revival has brought about the unfortunate circumstance of Lady Bird Beetle swarms. Huge numbers of kamikaze Asian Beetles amass outside the door, beginning in late morning and continuing throughout the afternoon. It is NOT a good time to send the youngin's out of doors. Aside from the nuisance of being attacked, they bite and they stink when touched or swatted.

(I DO hope this remedy for the soybean aphid is worth the hassle...)

The kids have constructed their own indoor amusement. Thanks to books, boards and various ingenuities, they now have two "carpet ball" arenas in the little boys' room. They're not regulation size, and we use cheapo golf balls instead of pool balls. (this is Iowa, after all, and the warnings of Professor Hill are just as true today as they ever were)

So the children have contrived yet another source of competition, comaraderie and good old-fashioned bickering.

But it's upstairs, so what's not to love?

And now, I made the rash promise to read books this evening. All this on TOP of hamburgers for supper....

Is there no end to Ma's benevolence?

*sigh*
 

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The Ma Side

 
The luckiest cornstalk in Iowa 
 

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Loren Visits Mayoland

Yes, it's time for the annual check-up. Hard to believe it's been almost two years since Loren's heart transplant.

He is going in a tad early since he was due for a heart biopsy anyway, and they decided to schedule the whole week of appointments at the same time.

He left yesterday evening and will return sometime on Thursday afternoon. It would have been nice to go up with him....sort of. It's a lot of sitting around for both of us, and while I don't like feeling out of the info loop, for right now, I can be more useful here at home.

It's the age-old spousal dilemma....if you're with the family, you wish you were up at Mayo. If you're up at Mayo, you wish you were home with the family.

Maybe some day....

Naturally, in getting prepared for the four-day stay, Loren found it necessary to throw together another laptop and get it all formatted and whatnot. Of course, one COULD take the old one which is perfectly useable. But then you would miss out on the frenzied thrill of last-minute preparations that force you to leave an hour late and curtail your wife's plans to drive off into the sunset and take pictures in the waning light...

ANY-way, I was doing my part by finishing the laundry, folding clothes and the like. I'd even managed to scrape up enough underwear and T-shirts that were actually white or pale rust colored, as opposed to the weird discolored variety after that whole green flannel sheet episode. I mean, Mayo may be one of the leading medical facilities in the country, but why take chances and by wearing a turquoise undershirt?

Right. So picture us both in the bedroom, Loren leaning over a laptop surrounded by a myriad of cables, and I neatly and methodically sorting through freshly laundered clothes, from which the delicate scent of "Glacier Breeze" doth waft....

"Do you want black socks? Or blue ones?"

*totally unintelligible muttering"

"Ok, two of each. Let's see....you want a pair of sweats?"

"Uhhgghhrll...."

"Was that a 'yes' or a 'no'?"

*sound of clicking*

"Well then, I guess not...."

And so on.
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In other news, I have been trying to get a YouTube video on since last night and until moments ago was QUITE ticked. But thanks to the Helpful Cynic (formerly known as the Vengeful Cynic) it now appears that success is imminent.....

Here is a funny clip I saw on mediabistro.

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