Sooooo close

I was able to start on the curtains around 10 this morning and excluding breaks for lunch and the bathroom, worked until 5:00.

They are almost done and I plan to finish them on Sunday afternoon. Sewing curtains in the privacy of your home after church is much more acceptable than...say...finishing up the lawn.

You know, I'd forgotten how tense I get while sewing. You are bending over a table cutting, leaning over the ironing board pressing, and crouched over the sewing machine sewing.

It wasn't that long until my back was aching and I was actually feeling nauseous.

Too much close work. By five o'clock I was ready for some relaxing change of pace.

Like mowing.

Unfortunately, the mower has been acting up of late. Takes at least three starts to keep going and has become increasing hard to push. I began to suspect this last problem might be due to a wobbly wheel.

This was further confirmed in my mind when the right rear wheel fell off.

However, I think it's important to remember that it's been three whole months since the last wheel fell off and three months is nothing to sneeze at. So, even though one may be tempted to consider this mower a pathetic heap of junk

on wheels

I think it behooves us to be temperate in our feelings of ill-will.

I was SO close to being done with the front, that I hated to abandon the Evil Mower of Stupidity. I tried to keep going but my body was screaming for rest, so I caved to the chance to make supper for the family, instead.

But sitting at the table and thinking about those last 7 strips of lawn and 4 trees began to bother me, so after a quick bite I headed back outside and managed the rest, despite a disappearing sun.

Now I feel better, or at least I will once I have a hot bath and sink into bed.
_________________

In other news of closeness, the English book that Sharon used in college four years ago is no longer useful for Kendra. Sharon's was the 15th addition and Kendra needs the 16th edition. It seems there are a few different practice questions, or something.

Naturally, since it is a NEW edition, there are no USED copies available. But it does a mother's heart good to know that her daughter was able to acquire access to the all important extra practice questions, for a mere 80 dollars.

That's more than her chemistry book cost, not that I'm keeping track.

I am, however, going to bed...
 

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What? You're cleaning ?

Yes. Unbelievable as it sounds, Ma has caught the cleaning bug.

Yesterday I glanced into the computer room, took stock of the dust and papers under the tables and said, "Ugh!"

Even I have my limits.

After a quick sweep around it looked almost respectable and I was nearly overcome with self-congratulatory vibes--or it could have been the dust clouds, I don't know.

From there it grew to sweeping the hall and, get this....WASHING THE FLOOR!

Shocking, I know.

All this happened after first cleaning at the church, so there may have been a little guilt involved, too.

Now, my oldest four will never believe this next part, but I went through the two clothes baskets containing mismatched socks!

Yes, Ardith, Sharon, Jason and Kendra, I AM NOT KIDDING!!

I steeled myself and was ruthless, cutthroat and brutal.

Oh I found some matching pairs, but I threw away bunches. The potential sock-puppet world will never be the same, I'm tellin' ya.

Then I lined up what I had saved on the kitchen table and made all the remaining kids--which aren't that many--go by and pick up their socks. Oh sure, there were a couple of slackers who tried to set them on the stairway but Ma was having none of it.

"TAKE THEM UP TO YOUR ROOMS, RIGHT NOW. Please."

The rest are sitting in a black trash bag, awaiting the burn pile. And with them, the two ratty broken-down clothes baskets.

From there the cleaning fever spread to sorting through the books I'd purchased over the summer. They'd been stacked beside my chair, beside the wall....and...who knew I had four boxes worth of books surrounding my computer desk?

As well as sweeping up old Dove's wrappers from my former days of addiction, I found "several" Legos. If I work up the courage to move the piano I could discover another hundred or so. And if I save those along with the ones I'm sure to find under the couch cushions I may wrap them up and present them to the kids for Christmas :-D

Now, one could think the cleaning exuberance would have stopped there, but NOOOOOOOOO. I suddenly hit upon a plan to tackle a project long put off...but first, I went back to church and cleaned four bathrooms, followed by returning home and cleaning the little bathroom off the boys' room.

Can you say, "Invasion of the body snatchers?"

That was yesterday. Today I am all set-up for el biggo projecto:

MAKING CURTAINS!!

What, you say? Ma can sew ?

Well yes, though I haven't done a lot since the kids started coming...uh, 24 years ago. And once the ease and availability of used clothing became apparent, there was no need to sew for the children.

But Ma is all psyched up. The freshly washed fabric is tumbling to readiness in the dryer and soon, perhaps even today, my simple yet whimsical tab curtains will be ready.

I hope.
 

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From Loren's computer

Mine keeps disconnecting from the Internet. And Loren being on the treadmill, I pretty much have free rein down on the main floor, heh, heh.

I'll just have to see how much damage I can do before he comes down for breakfast.

(On a totally unrelated note Loren, those popping blips that came from your left monitor last night have totally disappeared. And I only had to restart your computer once this morning when it froze...)
______________

The Scale Report: Pretty decent. Still 5.5 so I haven't regained. If I can just be good for a couple more days...
_______________

It's a little weird having Kendra and Jason gone within a week of each other. As I told someone last night, there are only THREE people on each side of the kitchen table at mealtimes. There is so much elbow room that I'm thinking of getting larger plates, just to take up space.

But I really noticed a difference the first time I came home from grocery shopping. Usually most of the kids made trips out to the car and Kendra stayed in to put away the groceries.

She was pretty fast, too. I would turn around two or three times and they would all be stashed. Granted, sometimes I couldn't find things, but the groceries would all be put away.

This time after all the bags were set on the table I looked at them and realized they weren't going ANY-where and I had no choice but to put them away, myself.

Well, you can imagine my despair. My whole LIFE flashed before me. My headed started to feel woozy and things began to get gray and then black and that's when I saw this small pinprick of light--as if one were going through a tunnel--and the light got bigger and bigger and I sorta felt as if I was floating and then, THEN I seemed to leave my body and had the sensation that I was up near the ceiling and as I looked down I thought I could just....make.....out what looked to be a shape spread out on the floor, oddly human in form, and then I heard the faint sound of voices and they became louder and more intelligible and finally I recognized Ethan and what he was saying,

"Mommy? Why are you standing on the kitchen table and squinting at the chandelier?"

"MMmm....huh?"

And that's when I realized all the kids were staring at me, the human-like figure on the floor was really Trevor's Pookey Bear and maybe just cutting out the Diet Cherry Coke cold turkey hadn't been such a great idea.

"Uh....just checking on a loose bulb in the light fixture, guys."

So yeah, it's different around here, but then, it always has been....
 

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See, this is what happens...

...when I go to prayer meeting.

I get all hyped up and then can't sleep.

Honestly, it was a joy to be back at church, especially since I hadn't been there since the first Sunday in August. But I get so wound up that even a couple of old sit-coms cannot tame the heightened brain alert.

Even now there is part of a half gallon of Blue Bunny Peanut Butter (something or other) Sensation ice cream, just around the proverbial pantry corner, calling to me.

"Ma....you're hungry, and I taste so delicious..."

"Don't even start with me, OK? Tryin' to lose a few pounds, here..."

"But Ma, surely a little bit wouldn't hurt now, would it? Might even prevent the onset of a fever. Think of it as a prophylactic measure."

"Measure...?...schmezure. That is SO lame."

"Now Ma..."

"Back off....! I'm tellin' ya. Put the carton down and step away from the Ma!"

"Ok, OKAY..."

"Book 'em, Danno."

(Whew. That was close)

*Bom...bom, ba baht bom.....
ba BAH dot bah BAHT, bah, ba BAHT bom...."

 

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Proboscis in action

 

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Experience of an electrical nature

So, it was last night and the final bedtime preparations were being....finalized.

Storms were heading our way but nothing of a severe nature was reported.

Loren was lounging on the bed and after a long day of mowing, Ma was looking forward to heaving her whale-like carcass upon the Select Comfort and vegging out to an "Everybody Loves Raymond" rerun.

But first, a little visit to the bathroom to catch up on my reading.

Suddenly a tremendous flash of light....(ut oh...)...a second interminably rolls by...(maybe it wasn't as cl..)

Ka-BOOM!!!

*yelps from all four bedrooms*

"I saw a spark..." Loren said with wide eyes.

"I'll go down and have a look around," I offered, knowing he was exhausted from driving all day.

This is really pretty funny when you considered that I don't know the difference between a capacitor and a resistor and my reaction to a potential problem would be to scream, "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"

Mostly I was checking for the smell of smoke.

It turned out to be nothing.

Nothing except the phones being dead in the morning :-(

Apparently that bolt traveled into the ground, running along buried phone lines and zapping our phone line surge suppressor.

Thankfully Loren, who at any given time could replace half of Radio Shack's inventory, had a spare one.

My computer was frozen this morning but that was easily remedied. Let's hear it for Firefox's ability to restore lost browsing tabs!
____________

Now for today's other news...

The Scale Report: last number was 5.5, instead of 9 of yesterday :-)

That means I supposedly lost 3.5 pounds. We'll see what tomorrow brings, though that might explain why I feel so tired. Or the fact that I started mowing at 9am and finished at 6:30pm--part of the time in 100 heat index--could account for the lethargy.

Ohhhhh, was it hard to get out of bed this morning. (by the way, I wasn't mowing all that time. I took plenty of breaks and even had to run to town for more mower gas)

It was VERY difficult to mow the whole last half. But thanks to 7 glasses of Gatorade and Ma's hardy pioneer spirit (not to mention blog bragging possibilities) the deed was done.

Today I've planned activities slightly less rigorous...like, napping until lunch, followed by lunch and then if I feel up to it, another nap.
 

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Loren be back :-)

With the help of a large Coke at lunch my fatigued husband drove all the way home.

And Ma mowed the entire lawn today!

Are we not just a couple of go-getters?
 

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Break time!

Ma has been a very good girl and gotten a good third of the lawn mowed, and it is only noon!

And here's another shocker I forgot to tell you about....I am off Diet Cherry Coke!

Yes, it is true. And I don't know which is more shocking...that news or the excessive use of exclamation points.

!

You can call me Gatorade Ma.

Between Marilyn Cornelius (family camp), the husband and Mrs Felts getting after me this summer, I have seen the electrolytes AND the error of my ways.

My last Diet Cherry Coke was a coupla days ago and so far, my sanity seems to be holding out.

But enough of this chit chat. Second meal's over and break's at an end.

Precipitation has entered northwestern Iowa and even now I can see haze on the horizon. Doppler radar shows it to be at least five counties away but I had better get crackin'.

What's more, the mower gas may not hold out till I am done....OH the agony.
 

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What's that large number at the end of my weight?

It's a "9."

Formerly it was a "4."

It would appear that last weekend's trip indulgements, and this week's sick sedentary lifestyle have combined to make the perfect storm of a five-pound weight gain.

Is Ma discouraged?

NO! She will buckle down and utilize the Idiot Proof Diet techniques that have served her so well in the past.

At least until Labor Day. My goal is to lose five pounds by Monday so I can enjoy one of my famous blackened burgers off the grill

And now, fueled by my power oatmeal breakfast and a small square of Lindt 85% Extra Dark Chocolate, I go to do battle with the lawn.

I still feel a little woozy from the migraine, but mowing ought to knock off a pound or two. You burn more calories when you pick yourself off the lawn after fainting.

VA-ROOOOM

It's also a handy way to get a few shirkers out of bed.

(live it up while you can, guys....school starts directly after Labor Day)

MWAH, HAH HAH, HAH HAH....!
 

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The good news is....

...I finally got to sleep last night, despite a nauseous migraine. Not even Spock, Kirk and Bones being held captive on an asteroid-like spaceship could tear me away from my appointed Z's.

And though I rolled over once and caught the flicker of distant lightning, it stayed blissfully out of earshot, allowing Ma to sleep Oh So Well.

So well that when I awoke I was awash in the feeling one gets when sickness has turned the corner. You just know the worst is over :-) I can say goodbye to that weird virus that has plagued us ever since Family Camp.

Remnants of the migraine remain, but I have not sneezed in five hours.

Hot doggies! No more unattractive wads of Kleenexes in my pockets. So gauche, fashion-wise.

Weatherwise, this would have been an excellent day to visit the lake, but alas, other duties called.

Derek needed a pro-time, half an hour in the opposite direction. The fridge needed refilling and Ma needed a nap.

The bad news is...the lawn needs mowing. (it took me from Tuesday to Friday afternoon to finish the terribly overgrown green stuff the last time. Mowing is no fun when 8 inches tall and you have to keep stopping to blow your nose)

But I decided enough was enough. There's no sense killing myself on the first day feeling wellish. Then too, I must beat this headache into submission.

Hopefully, with one more good night's rest and the rain holding off until afternoon, I can whack off a third or even a half, tomorrow.

I am speaking of the lawn, naturally, and not my head.
___________

Loren has made his way to the first stopping off point on his way back to Iowa, that is, Tulsa. Tomorrow he should finish up with a 9 hour drive.

*makes note to have something halfways decent for supper*

OOOOoooo, supper! I have to think of something for to-night...
 

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Wow!

I can see I've been going about this whole "wonder if I can ever get anything published" thing the wrong way.

I should be listing items on Ebay.

In two days I have had two links sent to me about funny posted items on Ebay.

This one is from Thainamu....

(yes, Thainamu, I have had a few shopping experiences like that)

And there was another one from my sister-in-law Sharon, but I can't pull it up anymore.

Both of these Ebay sellers have blogs and since the one linked above has been told to write a book, I see now that I have no chance, because she is WAY funnier than moi.

Looks like I'll have to resort to Plan B: become filthy rich by reselling new items on Ebay that I purchased for pennies at Goodwill.

Even now I am trying to convince Loren--similar to that guy who ate only from McDonald's for a year--to travel around the country and visit every Goodwill store in America.

And I'm reasonable. If we only hit 80% that would be OK, too.

I figure it would only take a couple of U-hauls....
 

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What I learned....

...while being home sick from church.

1) Kids will try things they see on Veggie Tales.


2) Bob the Builder and Thomas the Tank Engine are enough to put Ma the Sickie into a semi-coma.

3) Kevin Trudeau can veritably cure every disease on the planet, thereby casting doubt on the fallen state of humanity theory.

4) The world HAS gone mad, as evidenced by two separate channels simultaneously airing real estate programs. (I noticed ol' Kevin didn't have a cure for that)

5) Bob Vila is mildly interesting, AND I managed to convince Nolan he was not seeing his Uncle Walter on TV...*waves toward Texas*... :-D


6) It's all in the curve of one's nose.
 

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Tales from the Lego table

The following was overheard in the space of 30 minutes while Ma sat at her computer. The family had just finished watching "No Deposit, No Return."
_______________

Nolan: "If you can't behave on this job, you're going to be fired again and just be a normal person."

Trevor: "OK. What's my job?"

Nolan: "You get the bad guys. Set up traps and locks and then get them to come into the room and they get caught and then you take them to jail..."
______________

Nolan: "Hello, gentlemen. Time for a little fighting...."

*HuH! Bam! Wham! Smoosh!*

Trevor: "Wow! I am stwong! Vewy, vewy stwong !"
_______________

Nolan: "Time to put dynamite in the water..."

*Ka-BOOM !*

Trevor: "Hey...you can't just leave me hewoh..."
_______________

Nolan: "Let's do a war."

Trevor: "OK"

*sounds of busy clinking and building*

Trevor: "Now, when I'm done with my tank it will just wip dose a-pawht!"

*Carolyn wanders over*

Trevor: "We are doing a woh !...*turns back to table*..."And I doubt that you will soh-vive, Nolan."

Nolan: "Oh yes I will."

Trevor: "Oh no you won't"
_____________

*discussion of rules of engagement*

Nolan: "There is no rams, Trevor."

Ma: "There are no rams."

Nolan: "Mom-my..."

Trevor: "Pleeeeeze? Puhty, puhty, puhty please?"
______________

Trevor: "Yes! I have defeated you!"

Nolan: "Not quite yet...."

*sounds of Lego ram powered by rubber band crashing against Lego wall*

Nolan: "Red light!"

(all's quiet on the Lego front)

Nolan: "Yellow light..."

Nolan: "OK...green light..."

*WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!"

Nolan: "Reforcements!" [sic]

Trevor: "Wait Nolan, wait.."

*Ka-pow*

Trevor: "I said WAIT! This wubber band bwoke..."

*sounds of fixing*

Trevor: "OK, I'm done..."

Nolan: "I WON."
 

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Another weekend....

....another one off to college.

With bowed heads the family stands quietly, their hearts filled with inexpressible sorrow upon the thought of Jason's departure.
I don't know why everyone happened to be looking at their feet, but I do know that the younger ones will miss being walloped by Jason in Age of Empires.

Now son, it might be my imagination, but this car looks nearly as full as last weekend when I took out Kendra's AND Sharon's things...


Out the drive they go. I could see by Loren's face that he heard the same high-pitched whine that I did.
Ah well, at least he's driving this time, and not me :-D

(also in the above picture, an apple tree--top, left. Elizabeth...make sure they remember to give you the box of apples I'm sending down!)

The husband and son safely out of sight, a mother gives in to the anguish of parting with her loved ones.
Or, it might have been last night's rich supper coming back to haunt me.

Last weekend I left most of the family at home to suffer sniffles and other forms of health impediments in my absence.

This time it is I who's sinuses are starting to clog. I'm going to finish my work at the church and then crash, while I still have the strength.

Coming in another week or so, "Church Janitor Olympics!"

(I don't know why my family thinks I'm so weird...)
 

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It's raining, a-gain

But it'll be a good day, simply because Fox canceled one of it's latest reality shows, "Miss Bimbo Goes to Washington."

Granted, that wasn't the real title, but I figure it's close enough, hee, hee,

Something about some babe trying to break into the world of broadcast journalism without any experience or educational background and no, I WON'T link to it because she's already gotten way too much exposure.

Let's hear it for all of us homely types who had to get somewhere with nonsensical attributes like merit and hard work! (don't ask me just where I am...haven't figured that one out yet)

But getting back to the show...it was pulled after one episode leaving one to wonder, "What took so long?"

Well, not to worry for the Katie-wannabe's welfare. She could always get a gig doing surrogate jail time for those whiney glam gals and their annoying DUI's.

In summation: there is some justice in the world and this whole episode has given Ma reason to live another day.
 

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Trevorism

"WHOA! Totally sweet ! I smashed his tow-wohs !"

Yes, he really said that and I blame Jason.

Totally.
 

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A time for reflection

The clouds are once again rolling in from the west. And as Carolyn endeavors to mow one more patchwork piece of the lawn, I feel led to reflect on what I learned from my recent trip out to Indiana.

1) There really never is a good time to drive through (or under) Chicago.

2) No matter how carefully you watch the gas prices you will find a station that sells for 12 cents cheaper ten miles after you fill up the tank.

3) To quote my sister Nancy, "You can put a shoe in the oven, but that doesn't make it a biscuit." She was actually quoting Pete Seeger, noted folksinger and dreaded potential Communist, and HE might have been quoting Langston Hughes, poet of the Harlem Renaissance.

(personally, I think the phrase is more effective if the word "don't" is substituted for the word "doesn't," but I don't feel the need to quibble over contractions. The important thing to remember here is that men shouldn't cook)

4) As daughter Sharon explained, the women in France aren't fat because they just eat the parts they want to; i.e. the chocolate chips out of the chocolate chip cookie. If we extrapolate this further, we come to the obvious conclusion that one can remain slim by eating what one wants, when one wants to.

This would explain why I am eating chocolate pudding cake and vanilla ice cream right before lunch.

After all, the Rapture could come at any ti...

*WHOOSH*

JUST KIDDING!

(c'mon...how many of you were scared...)

Speaking of thrills,

5) Ma has exceptional reflexes, as illustrated by this reenactment drawing of my near accident.
Please do not be distracted by the impeccable artwork (notice the accurate direction designations?)

The fact of the matter is/was, Ma can be seen in the middle of the picture, quickly swerving into the southbound lane as the Evil Black Car of Stupidity suddenly stops after attempting to pull across my line of fire....er, direction.

Yes, it was raining. Yes, the car I was driving was silver and sorta blended into the pavement.

BUT, it was not yet four in the afternoon and I HAD MY LIGHTS ON!

True, I was fiddling with the radio buttons, but that had no effect on his pulling out from the crossroad to my right.

That merely required a left-handed twist of the wheel to the left and then right, neatly avoiding the Evil Black Car of Stupidity and just as neatly returning to my proper lane. All the more incredible when you remember that I am right-handed.

The southbound lane is to be commended for having no traffic at that moment. Otherwise, we're talkin' head-on collision and I suspect a 4 or 5 car pile-up.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but just in case someone of a husbandly nature is reading, there is NO WAY I could have braked and avoided that car. I can actually remember having that flash through my brain.

The adroit evasive maneuver was practically pure instinct, and while an oncoming car would certainly have presented a grave situation, it is entirely possibly than my lightning quick mind took in that stretch of roadway and seeing the all-clear determined the oncoming lane would indeed be safe.

That's the way I prefer to think of it, anyway.

But basically, God was watching out for me.
________________

Those being some of the more salient points, and Nolan needing to go see the dentist, Ma shall pull this time of reflection to a close.

If I were to encapsulate all the above wisdom into one sentence it would have to be:

"Don't stick foot-ware in the oven and never, NEVER trust a black car."

 

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Doin' the Ketchup Thang

Right off the bat let's just admit that catching up is well nigh impossible.

Having said that, I did manage a coupla loads of laundry yesterday, which is pretty amazing when you consider how many times I completely forgot about it.

Also, it would seem Ma has contracted the sniffle/cold that the family suffered with in my weekend absence. Not terrible symptoms, but plenty of fatigue, making me pause to wonder, "Do I REALLY want that piece of Ecuadorian chocolate Sharon purchased for me last Saturday?"

You KNOW Ma is tired when procuring a bit of the brown stuff seems taxing.

Also done yesterday: a whole hour and a half of mowing. Woowee! Only 4 1/2 to go.

Despite my explicit instructions, the grass did grow in my absence, aided in no small part by tropic-like conditions.

We could be living in a rain forest for all the humidity and precipitation.

I am glad the house is on a small rise. No flooding on our property, though the sump pump has been having quite a workout.

And for some strange reason, most of the rain hits just about bedtime or later. Except for now. Another red radar blob is headed toward us, probably because it heard I was planning to mow soon.
____________

In other equally tantalizing news, Kendra's last book arrived today and I promptly hightailed it over to the post office for it's rendezvous with Priority Mail.

(don't even THINK of feeling guilty, Kendra...just because I went during a sunny part of the morning and missed my chance to mow. I can always go out and buy a few machetes if the grass gets longer)

From what I hear Kendra is doing well. Today is the first official day of classes. She's taking 17 hours and has the following courses:

-Freshman Foundations
-Scripture and Interpretation
-General Biology
-General Biology Lab
-General Chemistry I
-General Chemistry I Lab
-Effective Writing

We had a little surprise at the business office when an additional $1500.00 appeared on her bill...ha, ha! It seems there was a computer glitch...ha, ha! so that when the first notice was sent out with the scholarships, grants, etc.....ha, ha! this 1 1/2 grand did not show up on the "balance due."

Guess we never caught the revised notice but hey, WE ARE FUN PEOPLE! WE LIKE FUN SURPRISES! WE EVEN LIKE COMPLAINING ABOUT THE FUN SURPRISES!

Kendra's checking into work study.

That's enough for now.

Time for Ma to snort Zicam, slurp a Coldeeze and go have a lie-down before lunch.
 

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The Ma Side

Little Susie was perplexed at her broker's lack of communication concerning the status of her mutual funds, until with heartsick dismay she discovered her phone was off the hook...
 

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Here it be....

...the official report of Kendra's college registration weekend.

Collegiate Kendra

 

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Ah is home !

Just a note to say Ma is safely back in good ol' Ioway :-)

Looks like it's been raining kangaroos from the size of swollen creeks and flooded fields I observed exiting the highway.

I drove through a fair amount of rain, particularly around Chicago...always a fun spot to be past.

Let me assure everyone that I was able to utilize each of the 9 wiper speeds, thus fulfilling another lifelong dream.

It is quite possible that a new record was set, as I arrived back in a mere 7 hours and 15 minutes.

Might I add for those possible skeptics who do not believe in Ma sense of law-abidingness...

-It is probably a quicker route from Mom's house in Elkhart, than from Warsaw to Iowa. Let's hear it for the Toll Road and missing the congestion of 65 and 80/90 !

-There is NO WAY I went more than one mph over the speed limit, which when compared to the other drivers, is basically the same as 10 below.

The family seems mostly on the mend from their colds. Hugs have been administered, books have been read and the hubby has been updated.

Loren says he kept track of my movements by the incoming notices from the debit card to our online bank account.

(good thing he doesn't know about that secret credit card...)

An official report of the weekend's events will be forthcoming.
 

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Howdy Do, Everyone :-)

This is Ma coming to you from Ma's Ma's house :-D

In other words, I am at my mother's home in Dunlap. I'll visit for a little bit, stay over night and then head back Ioway in the morning.

Kendra is all tucked into her dorm room at Grace College.

What a bit of nostalgia to be back there again. Isn't it nice that the college has kept the same old ceiling tiles and registers for the sake of us old timers?

I noticed the floors were all waxed and shiny, though. AND, they have stackable beds!

Personally, I think there should be some retroactive stuff going on so that we who had to put up with old technology and old desks could receive a little compensation.

I'm a reasonable person. I'd settle for 10 grand.

Some time I will have to go into detail of the near accident I had driving up from Warsaw...(don't worry, Loren, IT WOULDN't HAVE BEEN MY FAULT!)

Thankfully, I was able to swerve over into the opposite lane (with my left hand, since I was fiddling with the radio) to avoid the person attempting to pull out in front of me--which I must add was TOTALLY his fault.

All I could think of afterword was, "Whew! I didn't mess up Loren's car!"

Loren's parting words to me before leaving were, "If you have to get in an accident, try to crash up the back end. The oil set-up is in the front and if that gets smashed the oil will drain out and the whole engine will be gone."

Words to to cheer a traveling wife, if ever there were some.

So, I would just like to say that--so far--the silver Lincoln is still intact and just in case didn't you catch it the first time, IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN MY FAULT!

(talk about your adrenaline rushes...)

Well, that's about all for now. Mom and I are going to party like there's no tomorrow. My sister may come over and there's no telling what whoopin' and hollarin' could take place.

Take care and pray for Ma to have a safe trip home tomorrow.

You can pray for Loren's car, too.
 

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We are here!

Safe and sound, Kendra and Ma have arrived in lil' ol' Warsaw, Indiana.

You can all rest easy tonight...Ma has not crashed, swerved the purty car into a ditch or even run out of gas.

Pretty incredible when you consider I am only a poor female :-p

We are staying at the home of my wonderful college piano instructor, Verna Mae Felts and her equally wonderful husband, Roland. I had Mr. Felts for music history and while it would be nice to say he never had a more apt pupil, I would be lying.

If I could only take it again I would be more attentive and diligent! The saying is ever true...youth is wasted on the young.

You wouldn't believe what Kendra and I did this evening. After supper Mr. Felts took us out in his speed boat on Big Chapman Lake.

YES! Ma is not kidding!

And I thought he was sedate. The things one learns as one (barely) approaches middle age.

As if that were not enough, immediately after, Mrs. Felts let Kendra and I go out in her canoe :-D

Ma has not been in a canoe since Ardith was a wee tot, oh...about 23 years ago. After that, the responsibilities of young children pretty much kept me under wraps until now, but hey, NO ONE IS TO FEEL GUILTY!

Anyway, tomorrow we head over to campus for the fun of ID cards and registration.

Sharon has kindly offered to meet us and walk through everything with us, so it should be no sweat.

I'm going to ask them for an honorary doctoral degree in mechanical engineering while I'm at it. I'm sure Sharon can swing it for me.

Rumor has it that a couple of free meal passes may be available. I only hope and pray it is just as delicious as the yummy brown bag supper they gave to us when we brought Sharon in as a freshman.

Ah, good memories.

And as to Sharon, she has just moved into her new apartment this week which she is sharing with a friend from church. Even today the gas was turned on.

Oh the joys of a data entry job.

Ma has sprung for a housewarming gift of hangers. Yes, even a couple with clips on them. Nothing is too good for my little girl. You just can't spoil them at this age.

Well, I'd better sign off for now.

Mr. Felts has several hundred VHS of operas and I'd better get started...

Ciao, baby.
 

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Approaching Blastoff

We are steadily moving toward completion of all the necessary preparations preluding college internment...er, I mean The Great Collegiate Car-Ride Across Iowa, Illinois and Indiana (GCCAAIII)

Just try and pronounce that.

Accomplished:

-loaves of bread to take the left-behind family through Tuesday, baked ahead and stored in the freezer...Ma, Melinda and Carolyn

-a nice meal frozen and three others discussed and assigned...Ma, Carolyn, Melinda and Ethan

-2/3 of lawn mowed...Ma

-teaching of new granola maker...Ma and Ethan

-instructions in laundry...Ma, Melinda and Carolyn

-packing most of her college stuff...Kendra

-finding and packing Sharon's stuff in attic...Ma


To do Today:

-clean church...Carolyn will help with half

-finish lawn...Ma

-finish packing...Ma and Kendra

Lookin' good!

We'll be staying at the home of my college piano professor, seeing Sharon and her new apartment and enjoying all the thrills of registration lines and moving Kendra into the same dorm I lived in while at Grace.

Then I'll buzz up to my mom's house on Sunday afternoon and visit a bit before returning on Monday night.
 

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My poor, poor poplar :-(

It looks like some wind came up in the night...


My cherished poplar tree now has two amputational needs.
You can see the place below where February's ice storm took out a major branch. That section was healing over fairly well.

Now it's more lopsided than ever.
I'll give it a chance to fill in, providing the other half doesn't crumple over this winter.

I put a lot of effort into this little tree. It even looked good without leaves.

It used to have such a nice curvature, swooping over one way, while another branch balanced it out by sweeping in the opposite direction.

After defending it from the ravages of little boys and Iowa ice storms I have my doubts as to whether it will make it.

But we'll see...
 

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No more Calvin and Hobbes

Possibly forever.

I have Bill Watterson to thank for annoying mannerisms and catch-phrases that an eight-year-old has picked up.

I have myself to thank for allowing said eight-year-old to even read the cartoon.

Bad Billy.

Bad Ma.

Life has reached a new low when you have to force a child to go outside for 30 minutes.

It's even worse when you find out he's tricked you by staying in the addition, instead.

His scheming ploy has only doomed Stupendous Man to serving more time out-of-doors...
 

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Hols of the Day

Halfway through August and Ma has given nary a mention of anniversaries and noted celebrations.

Been busy !

Of course, one of the most notable occasions was yesterday, when Loren had his 56th birthday.

And then there is this Friday, when Kendra and I drive out Indiana-way to get her settled into her first semester of college.

But while these events deserve special attention, surely there are other days and weeks of August worth mentioning?

August is:

Peach Month
Romance Awareness Month....so...now it's a disease ?
Eye Exam Month
Catfish Month
Golf Month
Home Business Month
Inventors Month and let's not forget,
Foot Health Month....*yawn*...

Rather humdrum. Let's peruse the special weeks:

1st - Clown Week, Simplify Your Life Week
2nd - Smile Week, Elvis Week, and Apple Week.

It's the 14th, folks, so there's still time to eat an apple while smiling in front of a picture of Elvis.

3rd - Dance Week, Friendship Week and Air Conditioning Appreciation Week. (go and give your cooling appliance a real big hug)

4th - Be Kind to Humankind Week

I personally feel this last one a bit ambiguous, not to mention redundant. Are we talking about being nice only to people who are already kind? Being nice to entities that seem sorta human? Or is this some obscure Old English reference to giving preference toward living things that resemble both humans and cows?

I am really quite confused.

Nevertheless, August 14th is:
National Creamsicle Day
and
National Marshmallow Toasting Day

Oh yeah, like I'm gonna light a fire in August...

In History:

- Japan surrendered, ending World War II (V-J Day)
- Patent issued for the Whiffle Ball
- Liechtenstein's "Prince Franz-Joseph Day" (Liechtenstein is just SO fun to say...)
- Congress authorizes US citizens to own gold (1974)
- IBM releases MS-DOS version 3.0 (1984)

In Religious History (these two entries I copied and pasted):

1810 Birth of Samuel S. Wesley, grandson of Methodist hymn writer Charles Wesley. Himself a sacred composer, Samuel Wesley penned over 130 original hymn tunes. The best remembered of these today is AURELIA, to which is sung "The Church's One Foundation."

1814 During the American Revolution, American patriot Francis Scott Key (1779-1843) was held overnight as a British prisoner during their shelling of Fort McHenry in Baltimore. In the morning, Key penned what later became our national anthem "The Star-Spangled Banner."

Now, call me strange, but I don't "get" the last entry being part of religious history.

I did look up the four verses and while the final stanza does contain two references to God (the first being a tad oblique)...

Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

...it would seem seem to accurately fall under the more general category of "history."

But before I get myself in trouble, let me direct you to this site where a little more of the song's history may be found...including a phrase that states Mr. Key penned the words on the 14th of September, and not August.

Reinforcing my recently acquired convictions that you can't trust anybody, or any site.

Ah well...at least tomorrow is National Relaxation Day.
 

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Green Tomato Pies?

Hmmmm...must be someone's birthday :-D

Oh yeah, Loren is 56 years old today.

And to think, he doesn't look a day over 54.

Ma can take comfort in this for one more year, as I will be hitting the ol' 49 next month.

But enough about moi. Let's hear more about the person who married me.

You could consider Loren 56...or you could count from the time he was brought to Mason City Hospital, "essentially dead," as the doctors succinctly put it. If you count from that time, Loren is only 12 (plus 5 months, 14 days and 8 hours...not that I'm keeping track).

OR, if you count post transplant, he's only 2 years, 9 months and 5 days.

But I prefer 56, since that means I'm younger than my husband.

Here we have the requisite green tomato pies, in progress.

....unbaked pie shells filled with thinly sliced (absolutely) green tomatoes, covered with a sugar and cornstarch mixture, over which cinnamon and vinegar have been sprinkled, topped with lumps of creamy butter.

It only took me one and a half hours to get to this point.

(and those are my newly acquired nesting glass pie dishes from Goodwill :-)

Then came the hard part of trying to get intact covering crusts. By the time the last pie rolled around I had to go with plan B, the lattice.


Trevor obligingly poses with fresh pies from the oven. It is SO hard to get that boy in a picture....*cough*....

And just for the record, Loren always pronounces it, "green tuh-may-tuh pie."

The birthday meal--chosen by me for both ease and taste-ability--shall be rich man's burritos. ("poor man's" are tortillas with beans and cheese, "middle-class" adds sour cream and lettuce, and "rich man's" have all the works, including salsa, black olives and MEAT)

This has to be one of the few times we've actually celebrated on the correct day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Loren!

(from someone who will always be seven years younger)
 

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Dear Ma,

Hi Ma. I read your column all the time and I'd just like to say, "I am my food's nosher."

This afternoon I made chocolate pudding for my family. You know, the kind where you have to stir and stir for what seems like HOURS....anyway, there was some leftover and basically, it was not enough for all the kids to have second helpings, so I did what any normal chocoholic would do...I finished it up myself.

Do you think this was wrong? Should I make another batch right now to make it up to them?

signed,

Feeling Guilty and Full

Dear Full of Guilt,

You did the right thing! Don't think of it as an indulgence, think of it as a necessary sacrifice. Not only are you preventing food fights, but you are taking a proactive role in preventing obesity in your children.

Oh sure, you COULD have done what all those supposedly unselfish mothers do..abstained and ladled out the leftovers with a saccharine smile, but I think being honest is more healthy in the long run.

Especially for your kids.

signed, Ma

...*urp*...
 

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I hope...

...this is the last time I have to mow the lawn twice in one week,

with high dew points, high humidities and high temps.

Should be done in 25 minutes.

*gasp*

I am a sweaty, soggy mess.

And that's just my brain...
 

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Introducing...

"Dear Ma,"

A new column I am starting myself.

It's completely innovative in that:

a) I write the answers
b) I also write the letters to me
c) I may or may not use real circumstances from real life.

Here is tonight's inaugural column:

Dear Ma,
We had broccoli and cheese for supper this evening and there was more than one portion left over. I am fairly full but I hate to see that go to waste. You know I could put it in the fridge, but then it would probably be forgotten and get moldy and how could I even tell since broccoli starts out being green? It's healthy food, so how can it be wrong to overeat when it seems so right?

signed, Epigastrically Perplexed.

Dear Epiplexis,
Yes, this is a real conundrum, you DUMMY. Especially since by the time you get this answer, your broccoli will have bought the farm. (But keep the following in mind for the NEXT time you serve broccoli with cheese and have leftovers)...Eat just enough so that you still have a little left, but not enough worth saving. That way you will not have wasted more than a serving, but you also will not have eaten to the bursting point. I'm guessin'.

Another thing worth remembering...people who serve corn don't have this problem.

signed, Ma
 

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Pert near perfect

I've seen and enjoyed this on the wall of Pastor Jack's study and today while cleaning I decided to snap a photo.

My sentiments exactly...
 

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Wating to Ralph

Well, another child woke up with an unsettled stomach.

I'm pretty strict. If there's the least bit of suspicion, NO FOOD.

Let's see....that makes four people who have had or are currently experiencing symptoms, one oddball who has a head cold, and five in wait.

So far, not too bad. I've seen much worse but the littlest ones are yet to come. I doubt many will be going to church on Sunday.

My policy on these kinds of virii is that NO ONE attends services unless they've been symptom free for 48 hours. Also, no one waiting to get sick goes, either. You're just asking for trouble. Not only might they become suddenly (and embarassingly) ill, but they could unknowingly spread it to others.

I'm beginning to wonder if I feel bad...

Good thing all I have to do today is clean half the church and mow for three hours.
 

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Grackle...

...stalking a potato chip in the Wal-Mart parking lot.


Don't laugh...this is harder than it looks.

 

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Ya know.. .

...you wouldn't think it'd take THIRTEEN HOURS to travel to two cities and shop.

But it did.

And Kendra and I have decided that the Super Goodwill store in Waterloo really needs two days for proper perusal by females.

Next time I'm booking a motel.
 

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How do

as in, Howdy :-)

Ma is feeling quite chipper this morning. Nobody threw up in the night which means Kendra and I are free to head out for the big, BIG, BIG shopping excursion for el collego trousseauo.

I survived yesterday's "mowing in the rain" which technically wasn't mowing while it was raining, just such moisture in the air I was completely soaked from head to toe.

Had to lie down a coupla times but now Ma is rarin' to go.

I was going to wear a loose denim jumper so as to facilitate stomach expansion during the annual Arby's luncheon, but that was starting to feel like one of those lead jumpers they place over you at the dentist's office, So I decided to change into capris and sleeveless, just in case I have the opportunity to run down a shop-lifter.

It never hurts to be prepared.

See you in 10 hours...
 

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Wow!

Is it ever HOT out there...

Ma is trying to catch up on the mowing après camp familia. It's not quite machete height but still un mucho paino.

Dew point - 73
Humidity - 74
Ma's description - "close" and drippy

I could only manage half an hour before a break and that's downright wussful for moi.
_____________

Busy, busy week.

Took the last four children to their dental appointments for this year. Thought we were all going to squeak by but then....Nolan has five cavities. FIVE! Apparently 3 are quite small and they were places the dental crew were "watching."

Well, that should be fun. And possibly incentive for more careful hygiene.
_____________

In other news, I have a couple of persons who are laying low today, due to queasy stomachs. This is where I say THANKS   TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO ERRONEOUSLY THINK THE "TWENTY-FOUR HOUR FLU" IS OVER IN TWENTY-FOUR HOURS.

That was wasted breath.

I'm going to be optimistic and just hope it was the rich dessert we had after supper last night, lying heavy on their innards.
______________

Tomorrow Kendra and I hope to get out for the El Biggo Shopping Dayo before Collego. Providing she and I still feel well. I don't have to feel guilty about missing prayer meeting because:

a) I've been to church for 5 of the last 7 days
b) That's the very place we need to stay away from, health-wise, ha, ha.
______________

Oh dear. 15 minute break is up :-( Ma may have to resort to the desperate measure of tucking a cloth diaper into her hat...the very latest in sheik-like mowing attire.
 

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It's Miller Time...

...as in, Glenn Miller.

Nathan, one of our wonderfully techie nephews has pulled off the segment from our reunion talent show that has our family's humble rendition of "Pennsyvania 6-5000."

Now the sound quality is not as good as the DVD he has prepared, but you will get an idea, anyway.

Also, I would just like to say that I blatted more than one trumpet note in my solo section, but hey, that's what you get with us amateurs.

HOWEVER, you might hear a note in the last section that SOUNDS like I am off, but in reality it is because Loren has played a wrong note, causing me to sound musically askew.

I just think people should have the facts, is all.

Also, there is a little set-up going on and then explanation by Loren...you might need to turn up your volume.

Here it is then:

Glenn Miller à la Hoyts

Did y'all know Glenn Miller was born in Iowa? Check it out.

Sorta makes you wanna treat us with a little more respect, don't it :-)
 

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In only 73 short pictures...with captions...

Now, this may sound like too many photos, but I timed it and made it through reading every caption in just under 12 minutes. And that included getting distracted by typos :-p

Allison Bible Church Family Camp 07

I'm sorry that I missed taking some photos from Saturday night through Sunday noon. Everyone was getting exhausted, even sturdy Ma. Plus, I'd feel a little funny snapping flash during Sunday morning, even if it was the end of camp.

But mostly, I just forgot.
 

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How to Decompress...

...from Family Camp:

• Stay awake on the drive home from church
  
• Start second load of laundry
  
• Tell whiney son, "No, I can-not read you a book....Mommy has to have a small nervous breakdown."
  
• Take nap instead
  
• Wake up all feeling all groggy and gross
  
• Start 3rd LoL
  
• Pop open a Diet Cherry Coke for rejuvenation
  
• Deny children chance to watch video
  
• Download gobs of photos and start work on Picasa Album
  
• Start 4th LoL
  
• Put a large pinch of bitter chocolate between cheek and gum
  

And, it's just---that---easy :-)
 

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Family Camp Day 2

This was the first full day of Family Camp and boy is Ma tired!

Mornings are geared toward the children. Pastor John starts out with a Bible story.


Trevor's version of attentive listening.
Keeping a proper eye on one's shoes demands constant vigilance.

Ethan is given temporary possession of the sacred tractor key.
Life can only go downhill, from here.


Sometime after lunch small groups from the church drifted out to a quiet cornfield where they spent two hours firing shells at whirling orange disks.
Oh look! Is that Ma taking her first shot and against all odds actually hitting the "pigeon?"

After a peaceful skeet shoot in the country we arrived back at the church where a water-war raged in throefulness.



Josh Schick and his dad, Troy, with their special music on the classical guitar.



Pastor Gary Moore, not speaking on "Worry."
He topic was "Bible Champions."

After the evening session there was a hymn sing and testimony time around the fire ring.
It would appear the pastor's son is not looking at the hymnal....OOOOooo Kevin, you are SO busted.


Linda Johnson, Seth and Mrs. Moore.
Even heroic cello players gotta sleep sometime.
 

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Family Camp Day 1

(we leave in an hour but I think I can squeeze this in...)

The first night is traditionally a potluck.
This is the third time Ma's brought her famous zucchini bread and it's starting to get left over...go figure.

Trevor being the traditional pest to Jason


This first evening service we were privileged to hear from the Johnson Family. They attend out church so yeah...Ma knows them PERSONALLY.
An entire program of great music: classical, fiddle tunes, hymns...I even detected a Klezmerish number :-D

The traditional falling asleep of Trevor.
Ma took this picture and after the service a special offering was taken up to do something about Ma's turkey neck.

Tim Cornelius talks to the three Sever ladies, coiffed in snazzy black hats with sashes.
Those Sever{S} girls! They are always laughin'. In the background Tim's dad, Owen, can be seen chatting with Loren.

I could resist taking a picture of Alina's picture...
...yes, that sweet harmless-looking one on the right in the above photo is the same champion hunter we see beside her record catch. One deer had already been hung up, but you can see 4 of her five deer she got in one season. If I'm not mistaken, these 4 were gotten within four minutes, (corrected as of 8/1) and two of those with one shot.

Annie Oakley, eat your heart out!

That's all for this edition of the Allison Bible Church Family Camp 07.

Gobble, gobble.
 

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Sorry

Maybe tomorrow...er, maybe tonight there will be a short post on family camp.

This is what happens when you sign up for special music and the piece you are thinking of is SO special that it is 8 years old and you taught it to the kids by ear, meaning there is NO music for it--and boy are you ever sorry--hence, a new arrangement must be hastily scribbled down on that funny paper with all the horizontal lines...
 

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Countdown to Family Camp

Another gorgeous start to the day in Iowa.

Ever wake up an hour early on one of those days when you have GOBS of stuff to do?

Six o'clock and Ma was raring to go.

Baked a large batch of brownies to take to family camp tonight. Let's see, only cupcakes and muffins to go...I'll let the girls do that.

The last load of laundry is in the dryer...oh, and get this...I CLEANED OFF A KITCHEN COUNTER!

Now the kids can find the toaster. Which we need since instituting a new breakfast routine.

No more crummy cereal. (though they can have homemade granola once in a while)

It's a New World Order: Eggs, English Muffins (or bagels, whichever is on sale) and milk.

One of the kids queried me the other day and apparently (and uncharacteristically of late) caught me in a good mood. When this happens I will sometimes go so far as to take what they say seriously. Yes, we're talking ponder, consider and all those other processes that were discarded when the sixth baby in ten years arrived.

When I stopped to think, I realized it would actually be cheaper to have this healthier food than the usual lame brand cereal.

You' re never too old to learn how stupid you were.

Let's see...what else is left to do?

-finish mowing - 1.5 hours
-cool-down time for slurping Diet Cherry Coke-30 minutes
-trim 5 boys' hair 1.5 hours (approx)
-prepare something edible for tonight's potluck 1 hour
-go over last L.A. History chap. with Melinda and Carolyn-20 minutes
-wash up all the pans and junk that the dishwasher cannot handle-30 minutes

All by 5:00 departure time.

So WHY, you ask, is Ma sitting here in front of her computer??

See previous post.

I'll eventually have a Family Camp Picasa album up, but will try to post a coupla pics each night with the usual snappy captions, as time allows.
 

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