Ninja Nolan

 
He's not as scary as this picture protrays him....well, most of the time, anyway.

You can't see it very well, but Nolan constructed a little antenna out of Legos which is inserted on the left side of his Ninja band.

He was sticking it in his glasses frame, but his father and I persuaded him it might be better to try an alternative.

Besides, now it's up higher and he gets better reception.

Nolan has no idea what "Ninja" means, he says he's a "Blob" from some computer game.

And to think, when I was little we played with archaic toys like Lincoln Logs, and blocks.

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The Pevensie Family.....

 
.....shortly before entering the portal to Narnia. 
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OK, that's not exactly true. It's really my mom and dad and siblings, taken at a family reunion this past summer. But after watching "Narnia" today, I got a hankerin' for the ol' family ties. We never went to other worlds--at least not intentionally--but we lived through some scrapes and good times together, growing up.

On the left is not me. That is a pasty-faced stand-in, dressed exclusively in attire purchased from Goodwill. Just as soon as I have the mother of extreme makeovers, I'll try to edit this blog with a picture of Loren and myself. Until then, just squint. People always look better when you squint. Gives them that soft look.

Next to the stand-in, is my oldest brother, Doug. He's the one who's been driving up to Chicago for that computer programming job every week. He's a good guy. His wife, Cindy, put together a calendar for our family, made up of everyone's pictures. It includes the one with Nolan's fingers up his nose. I expect it to become a collector's item some day. I figured if my siblings made the calendar, they wouldn't mind me posting them all over the blog :-)

Next comes Solly, the second oldest. He is a massage therapist out in Virginia. Wife Lorinda and he grow a LOT of things in their garden, much of which they sell in a local farmer's market. I think they sell lamb, also, as in meat--to--eat. Solly is one of the gentlest souls you'd ever meet.

Then we have my other older brother, Tim. He and Ann live waaaayyyy out in Bellingham Washington, with son Asher. Tim is a paralegal and Ann works for a women's shelter....I think. You can tell we're really close :-) No, no, it's not that, it's just that SOME PEOPLE NEVER WRITE. All my brothers have a good sense of humor, Tim being no exception.

Next in line is my older sister, Nancy. Yes, as I've said older for everyone, you can tell by now that I am the BABY of the family. It's ok, though....I milked it for all it was worth :-) Anyway, Nancy is a teacher in Elkhart, Indiana, carrying on a career in the same discipline and city as my father. Right now, Nancy is teaching 4th grade (I think) and is the brand of teacher that goes the extra mile, or two or three for her students.

Swinging around to the front, right, is my dad. A junior high science teacher for....well....I'm thinkin' around 40 years. He can correct me if I'm wrong. It was certainly a LONG time :-) It was from him I learned about perseverance. I'm not saying I mastered that character quality, but he certainly taught it by example. He always had time to spend with his children. How well I remember visiting a local pond to collect scum for some school experiment, or his bringing a microscope home so I could look at onion skins, amoeba, and paramecium. We had insect collections, rock collections and coin collections. What can I say....he grew up in the Depression.

Last and best of all is Mom. I'm sure Dad would agree with that evaluation. In every family there is a quiet, behind the scenes person, who steadfastly continues in all those crucial activities that never get an award, but should. As well as providing the stability of a stay-at-home mom--not to mention DOING all the things a full-time mother does, she was also the proofreader for many of my dad's writing endeavors. My mom also carted me around to many concerts, music contests and piano recitals, as well as giving me my initial piano lessons. I may have gotten a little humor from my dad, but mom was the one who imparted culture to our family.

Well, there you have it. The Baker clan.

My name, though not intentioned by my parents, lent itself quite well to various nicknames. In college I was dubbed, "Becky Boom Boom Baker." I assure you, it was all about alliteration, and nothing else.

Being far to old and *cough* mature for any such monikers at this stage in life, I'm happy just to stick with "Ma," for now. Though, I am open to "the one and only....."

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Out Narniaway

Loren and I having just returned from seeing "Narnia," I feel I have to give my thumbs up. Pretty good, actually. Though, I thought several of the evil creatures looked suspiciously reminiscent of evilness in LOTR, but I guess it's an evil animation union kinda thing :-)

Also, there seemed to be several places where people/creatures were just drawn in for the extras, when not necessary. No, I'm not talking about the big battle. I don't know how to explain it, other than to observe that all the horseman and horses in the great hall at the end when the four were walking up to get crowned, well....all those horses and men looked EXACTLY the same. But, it's a little thing.

I enjoyed the movie.

And thanks go out to Wheeler, who mentioned the fly in the window--that little extra bit of detail--'cause, I had my eye out for Mr. Fly, and I saw him :-) At least, I think it was Wheeler. I get all these intellectual types mixed up, and basically, I am too lazy to go blog hunting. I mean, why quibble over facts?

I'd rather watch the news....

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Visit from the FedEx Guy :-)

Ha! It's OK, everyone, I'm talking about Loren.

He arrived safely home from Chicago late this afternoon. Apparently, he passed the driving course with flying colors. And him with only 34 years total driving experience, with 9 in a "Bread Truck" and 2 in a "Straight Truck."

As they say, miracles can happen.

By the way, if you're wondering what a "Straight Truck" is, it's the kind that has been brought back from the wild side, no more drinkin', carousin' and what-not.

Either that, or it's the size just short of a semi. I always forget....

How-ever, we discovered Loren has to go back in two more weeks, for TWO WEEKS! Classroom type courier training. Should be cake stuff. And they let him come home on the weekend in-between. Boy, it just keeps gettin' better, don't it?

*sigh*
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On the dental front, I am happy to report that all the kids' teeth looked exemplary. Yes, they may be crooked, but boy are they clean! It would seem a certain 14-year-old's 25 minutes brushing and flossing twice daily hasn't been for naught.
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Ardith has made it back to her apartment safe and sound, if one can believe IM info checks. We sent her home, almost on the mend from the lousy cold we all shared amidst blissful Christmas congestion.

Bought this week.....? Six boxes of tissues, and three bottles of sanitizer lotion. That ought to hold us for a bit.

And Sharon received an important document in the mail this morning......

So, all in all, it's been a jolly day.

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Pictures......

 
....help remind one of things missed.

As in, the sun

Haven't seen it for a while, so I am reduced to browsing the electronic album to recall what it may have looked like. Sometime. In the past.

At least the fog is gone :-)
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Off to the dentist this morning, with the last four kids. It seems easier to take (for the office and us) if we go in stages.

These four are actually the healthier ones, so we won't be spreading contagion to the those who bravely clean the teeth of children. We need them. And they need us, for I figure we make up half their practice.

Have a gummy good day, and live life on the cusp. 

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Good news......Bad news

Good News: Loren arrived safely in Chicago last night.

Bad News: He felt a sore throat coming on...he seems to have caught "the bug."

Good News: He is the only one in his driving class :-) Talk about your great student/teacher ratios!

Bad News: He only got a few hours sleep last night and is feeling weak.

Could you please pray for him? His class goes through today and tomorrow, and then he has to drive the five hours back home.

The only other time he has been sick post-transplant the "simple cold" lasted for FOUR WEEKS. One has to wonder why God allowed all of this delay, only to have him get sick when he finally gets to fulfill the required class, but I know that HE knows best.

Trust me, this is a weird virus. You can wake up feeling almost great, and then walk around for a few minutes and feel miserable again. It has properties of cold and flu and I hope and pray it will not affect him adversely.

Most people don't have to worry about a cold turning into something worse, but then, most people are not immunosuppressed.

I'd better stop before I give the impression that parents might want to refrain from taking their sick children to certain public gathering places, or something equally outrageous.

*sigh*
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Some Really Great News: Jason received word that he has been awarded a LeTourneau University Dean's Scholarship :-D :-D

*cheering*

That will help. That will really help. If he keeps his GPA up to a certain standard, he can retain it for 4 years.

Congratulations, O Future Programmer.

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The Road to......Nowhere

 
"doo doo doo doot, doo doo doo doot....You are now entering the TwilightZone
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All the more sinister, because for just a little while, I could not copy and paste a border to this picture.....I could not close an italics HTML tag.

It was getting PRETTY freaky, I'm tellin' ya.

But then, helpful son Jason showed me how to deal with a Windows bug by getting to the command prompt and then exiting and entering and other clicky maneuverers which of course I will NEVER remember how to do, but anyways, it worked.
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Loren is off to the Windy City, if indeed, it can be found. Time for "Ye Olde Driving Classe."

Those of us left alone in the fog are pretending we are the Ingalls family, with Pa out in the elements. We even have old fashioned bean soup in the crockpot for supper, with canned biscuits to go along with. (hey, you can't have everything)

Twice a day I don my coat and go out into the fog to do chores. (take pictures) I tie a rope around my waist so I won't get lost, and drop a trail of Dove's Chocolates in the snow to help me find my way back if I get disorientated in the mist.
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In case anyone wonders about the "turkey comment" down below, it has to do with this post. Some people reply to comments on their blog, by answering on the commentor's blog, TOTALLY confusing persons who may be dropping by and are out of the loop. It's a Xanga kinda thing, I guess :-)

This we DO know for certain...it was one of the Pastoral females who dropped the Christams turkey. I'm thinkin' Liz.

(the best way to flush out the guilty party is to start randomly accusing people...)

I really like Christmas vacation. It gives you time to do all those little things you wouldn't get around to, otherwise.

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Life in the sinus world......

 
....completely socked in 
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And so, the 20 somethings have fallen. Ardith and Sharon show signs of the dreaded virus, proving that old adage, "Germs: the gift that keeps on giving."

There's nothing like coming home for Christmas, eh?

It's gonna be a Veggie Tale kinda day.

*sniff*

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Living in a fog....

 
....we are

With the snow melting, moisture hangs in the air, unable to loose itself in toto from the land of Iowa. One gets that isolated feeling. That feeling that maybe...just maybe....there isn't anyone else out there.

I made it to Iowa Falls to sniffle and sneeze through the shopping, so I know there is still some semblance of civilization up to that point, geographically speaking.

Beyond that.....who knows......

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Thanks to Sharon.....

 
......Trevor can finally brush his teeth :-D

Well now, that's not his first toothbrush, but he can certainly use a new one. And a bath. The kid could really use a bath.

Jason, I hope you are properly thankful for my cropping your face out of the picture. I know how you hate to be on display. I guess you owe me. Again.

Couldn't sleep. (Hope my coughing didn't wake you, Ardith)

Also looked up "Emma" (Mary Wickes) from "White Christmas." She was a nun, but it was in "Sister Act," not "The Sound of Music," as I'd previously thought.

Having established that fact, maybe I can get back to sleep.... 

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Home for Christmas

 
'Twas the morning of Christmas and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring...
...except the little Bunny Boy.

He came to my door all a whimper and fret,
Proclaiming in sad little tones, "I am wet!"

I gathered him up in a motherly grasp
And noticed his voice had a strange sort of rasp.

His cough was a bark and his breath came in fits
And I said to myself, "We must look into this!"

I got me a diaper and down he did lie, whereupon
We discovered that he was quite dry.

"My son, what you need is some steam for that voice."
It was off to the bathroom and he had no choice.

I turned on the shower, it didn't do much,
Except wake up Ardith, asleep on the couch.

I shut off the tap and proceeded to go
Out of the house where the winter winds blow.

We sat on the porch, inhaling cool air
In hopes that free breathing, soon would be there.

And lo and behold, the cold damp did charm,
Trevor became quite sedate in my arms.

We wandered back in and climbed up the stair,
With cuddle and kiss, to our beds did repair.

It may not be quite what we dreamed for this day,
Children are sick; home from church they must stay.

But still we remember the Child who did come,
To die on the cross and arise from the tomb
So that all who believe,
could one day,
go Home.

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A Few Announcements

Jumping right into good news, it gives me great pleasure to report that daughter Sharon has gotten all A's for this past semester :-) Congratulations! Just remember, ma chère, that some of those genes you possess are mine, but of course, the ones that helped you get good grades are your dad's.

The good grades extended to her Calc class, a feat I could never achieve.

A few years back, I had thought the children fell into two major groups: Techno Critters, and Artsy Folk. Now, with Sharon ably whacking through a tough math course, and Ardith displaying wicked writing skills (and this is not the first time), I am having to completely rethink this whole nature/nurture thing. I mean, are people born, hard-wired for techno success? Do some people just naturally express themselves in other languages?

All my previous firmly held convictions are beginning to blur.

Or, maybe it's the pseudoephederine I just took.

I decided SOMETHING was needed to get me through this day. Due to the church where I clean putting on their Christmas program this evening, and practicing it this morning, I have a shorter window of time to clean than usual. Carolyn is accompanying me to help. Last week I assigned her the chore of scrubbing out the little patterned cracks on the ladies' bathroom linoleum. This week, we hit the men's floor.

I always knew that college degree would come in handy, some day.

But getting back to cold prevention medicines.... I have a new theory about Zicam: If you stop the cold, you stop it dead and can look smugly at other family members who refused your advice. If it doesn't work, you will just postpone it for a day, and then be hit REALLY HARD, by virii that have had time not only to develop germware to combat the Zicam, but also are busy replicating copies of spyware into your system to see if you are sneezing at anyone overseas.

It's complicated.

Hmmm, I think the cold medication is kicking in,

("Wheeeee, look at all the pretty colors.....")

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just needed something pretty to look at

 

All the Christmas presents are wrapped. Took two long naps. Watched "Annie" with the kids.

*cough*

That's all I did today. Oh yes, wiped nose and used hand sanitizer liberally. And you thought I was a Republican...

Song currently running through head:

"It's a Hard-knock Life"

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A Merry Heart Doeth Good

At least that's the theory.

And since I am a sicko today, in want of cheering, I have cast about for fun and helpful items that are of interest to me, and possibly to others.

As has been reported earlier, dark chocolate is a healthful addition to one's diet. The proof just keeps coming in...

And while we're on the topic of food, I'll bet you didn't know that nacho cheese has its spiritual side....

Moving right along to seafood, here's a picture and story of the only documented fish of its kind. Shouldn't this kind of creature be under some type of Federal protection?

You wouldn't get me near THIS monster. I'm not sure I'd even want to look at it in its block of ice.

But take spoons....spoons same safe.

*crawls back into bed*

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Wave goodbye to the nice snow, dear.......

 
....It's going to hit 40, today

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Ye Olde Yuletide Fire

 
Suggestions for Christmas Vacation Activities

• Burn the trash....just tell the kids it's a yuletide fire, instead. Take note of how pretty the black ashes look against the white snow. Make appropriate spiritual allegorical comments.
  
• Get sick.....the family that sniffs together, sprays together. Have contests like--Who can talk with most nasally voice, and How many tissues does it takes to wipe a little kid's nose? (answer: none...he'll just use his sleeve.
  
• See who has the croupiest cough--winner gets to sleep on the couch.
  
• Watch lots of movies
  
• Live on the wild side: Snort Zicam and "do" Cold-eeze
  
• Spread holiday cheer to everyone you know
  
• (especially on the blog)

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The Ma Side

 
A lifelong aesthetic, Nigel the snowman watched the sun rise with mixed emotions....

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Winter's First Eve

Three days.....three trips to the pharmacy. Nothing too critical, other than faulty memory and too many obligations converging into Christmas chaos.

Trips in the car mean more opportunities to snap a few pictures. This one wasn't terribly clear, due to ensuing darkness, but the "sharpen" option in Picasa makes it passable. I think the colors are pretty, anyhow.

I'm beginning to like trees better without their leaves :-)
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Pox Watch

Having been exposed to chicken pox 17 days ago, we are just coming up to the time of possible eruption. I have three young ones that are running fevers and acting sickish...and I know it can't be the flu since we got shot up with vaccine. I predict pox to pop out in a day or two, but I could be wrong.

Half the others are sick with a mild cold, so I could only send three people to Christmas Caroling and birthday fellowship at church. Wouldn't you know it, both birthday boys are home, so no goodies for them, other than flavored Ibuprofen and and Zicam.

There are reasons VCR and DVD players were invented. Personally, I just wouldn't have sickness in the house, without them.

Ah, the joys of Christmas.....

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Fireball Sunset

Sorry. I....I...just couldn't stop myself. I'm trying to find a support group. Really.

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Let's hope it's the cookies.....

I started having this recurring dream up at Mayo--5 short knocks on the door. But when I get out of bed to see who is there....it is no one.

*creepy chills*

So last night, I am actually having a dream with-out sharp noises. I was young again, with a smooth Ron Howard (Opie) making eyes. He had hair, and Melissa Gilbert (Laura Ingalls Wilder) was my mother, soooooo......I am thinkin' there's been a major MAJOR disturbance in the whole Time/Space/Star continuum.

Awakening me from who knows WHAT weirdness, was repeated knocking at the door. As in, real knocking.

It was Nolan.

"Trevor is coughing."

After donning my robe, I stumbled to their room, where I found both beds empty. It was then that a small wail from downstairs began to register in my foggy brain.

"I want Mommy! I want UP !"

*clump, clump down the stairway*

There they were, illuminated by the glow of Nolan's computer, where they were getting a head start on game time at 4:00 in the morning.

*incredulous blinking* "What is going on....?"

Nolan pointed to a small, rather suspicious and odiferous puddle in front of Carolyn's computer...."There." *turns back to his game*

"Oh....that kind of coughing...."

There wasn't much to clean up. Nolan realized it was not officially day and willingly turned off his computer.

See, the kids made Christmas cookies yesterday, and later that evening, asked if they could have some.

"Sure."

"How many?"

I contemplated the different kinds, sizes, sugar content, and each child's weight and height...."Use your own good judgement."

There were a few glances exchanged that said, "Is Mommy sick?" and then a mass stampede for the kitchen. Now that I think on it, Trevor may have had one or two more than was good for him.

At any rate, we hope it's the cookies....

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Another humongous task.....

....DONE.

With four minutes to spare, Ma arrived at the post office this afternoon. I didn't exactly get a cheery look from the postmaster as he glanced at my bag with 60 plus letters. But once he realized I only needed two overseas letters weighed, he brightened right up.

Many kudos and laudos and tally ho's go to all the kids. It became apparent towards the end that Ma was not gonna make it, so the troops were enlisted to fold, stuff, stamp, affix return address labels, and seal.

Sharon made the supreme sacrifice and actually licked a few. And this, after being in charge of the Christmas Cookie Bake-off that also took place today.

I would have taken a picture of the assembly line, but there just wasn't time.

There is always the odd chance that someone out there will get two first pages, or no picture, or....or something. Just let me know and we'll try to make it right.

I was frantically editing up till the last minute. Thanks go to Sharon for proofreading. Several times.

THEN....the printer started leaving those lovely toner stripes down the side, so I suggest reading with squinty eyes. Pretend it's intelligence.

Everybody got to read over their section and have rights to denial of publication. All except Ardith. (Well, ma chère, if you run across anything undesirable, just let me know and I'll send out retractions to everyone. No problem.)

I even got to take a few more pictures on the way home, but I guess you're all tired of seeing sunsets....

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Glitterings

Official Announcement

Jason has been accepted to LeTourneau!

*wild screaming from Ma*

(it's about time)

Well, that's ONE knot in my stomach that can begin unraveling.

Now, to amend the Christmas letter and start the begging process for scholarship monies.....

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Tanglewood

One week post extraction and it was time for Jason to get his sutures removed. He hardly felt it, proving his theory, "If you go in with grave expectations, it will turn out less..."

Naturally, since we were already in the city of shoppingness, we partook of the goodness of acquirement. Young men are most handy to have along, as their very demeanor encourages prompt and expeditious buying habits. Something about that look of boredom, I guess.

We made such good time, (and were so VERY hungry) that we stopped at McDonald's, to celebrate the doneness of wisdom teeth, and discuss movies and college and life in general.

I told Jason we had done so wonderfully well, time-wise, that he should come with me EVERY week!

He declined. Something about not being a fair trade-off for computer programming...

Good day. Got the groceries. Got the prescriptions. Got the overseas cards mailed. Got the stitches out, with no pain.

Goodness

all

around.

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Sunrise over the Great Snow Lake

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Allison Bible Church Christmas Play, in six vignettes

 
Three sheep, the Innkeeper and his wife, and assorted angels sing, "Away in a Manger." I would have snapped a pic of lefty sheep doing "little fishy" hand motions, but I was inexplicably overtaken with a sudden choking spasm :-)

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Derek, one of the narrators

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The helpful Innkeeper's Wife (Carolyn), in response to Joseph's inquiry...."Honey, we don't have enough room in the house, but it won't hurt the animals to have a few extra bodies in the barn..."

"Spoken like a true Hoyt," observed Loren.

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Could Innkeeper (Ethan) have gone over to the dark side?

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While two lambs confer beside an up-to-date angel, Mary (Melinda) meditates and gets "into character."

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Lamb....kicking up his heels

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Ice Knives

 

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In which.....

 
....Jason reevaluates his father's newfound health and enthusiasm

It's cold....wind chill -3 F.

My whole day has had to be re-organized, and I am not amused.

They really need a device in the picture editor programs to make dirty windows look clean.

That is all.

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"Howdy, Ma'am"

 
Crazy little snicker-doodle.

Been hard at work on the Christmas letter. Only have one and a third people to go....

Kendra reported on this little cow-poke so I just couldn't resist snapping another picture. Too bad I can't convey this in the letter...

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The Ma Side

 
Late in the frosty afternoon, when sensible Iowa folk were snug in their lap robes, Mr. Sun would practice his Harrier Jump Jet approach....

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The Ma Side

 
As the moon rose into the sky, the Mall Administrator signed off on the "Madness Sales" initiative, quietly chuckling to himself in avaricic delight....

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We'z back!

Yes, I have successfully brought the 2nd child home, except, I guess she is not a child.

*sigh*

Now she has a lovely (we hope) 6 week break before heading off to....

FRANCE! Yes, O Language Lover, You have just won a trip to sunny France, the land of wine and riots. (all expenses paid by yourself, of course...but still, it's quite an honor)

As I finished up some shopping, killing time awaiting Sharon, I stumbled into McDonald's in search of a healthful meal. Deciding to eat anyway I cast my observant gaze around the "dining room." It appeared they were going for a Spartan theme, with mismatched card tables and scuffed-up cafe rejects. The sign on the door said they were closing early, due to "refurbishing,"

"Is this for here or to go?"

I took one more sensory whiff of the ambiance-oozing atmosphere and replied, "To GO."

Amidst the chill of evening, I scarfed my fries and burger in the comfort of the little Toyota. I savored each greasy bite, listening to NPR....and then....the cell phone rang.

"Hi, Mommy! We're not to Iowa City, yet...."

*falling crest*

"It will be about 2 hours, or more."

"But, but Sharon....What'll ah do? Where'll ah go? What'll becum uh lil' ol' meyuh?....

*epiphany*

I know, I'll just go the MALL!"

(when the going gets tough, the tough get to the bookstore)

*hides sack*

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Wilson.......self-portrait

 
Oops, I meant to say Wilson sent me this in a link.... 

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I'm starting to feel a little guilt......

....as the Christmas cards accumulate, and I haven't even started our own Christmas letter. It might be for one of the following reasons:

• I'm just waiting to make sure I don't repeat what some others have written...
  
• I have been acting en simpatico with all the college students, who are drowning in finals and papers. I'm gonna wait until the very last minute, and like, "I feel your pain, guys"
  
• I am hoping for someone else to write it this year. Possibly Trevor. ("Meh-wee Cwizmus, Eh-wee-buddy! God bwess us, Eh-wee-wun.")
  
• After having no choice but to "keep my chin up, and keep going" for...oh....about 11 years, I am finally crashing.

Until I come to some conclusion, amuse yourselves with the following uplifting news items....

For goldfish aficionados, the heart will be warmed by this story. At least it was paid for by private funds. Still, one tries to imagine a vet performing that operation with a straight face.

What parent hasn't been shocked to find out what little Johnny is learning in school. We can all rest easier tonight, knowing the Richardson school district has set things aright with their pro-Santa statement.

And now, I am off to start thinking about the possibility of a first draft....

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The Zippy Red Car.....R. I. P.

And so, another used vehicle bites the dust.

Loren made it all the way down three and a half miles of treacherous gravel road, onto the blacktop....half a mile more....and then ka-BLOOEY, the transmission went out. It had been showing signs of wear, and surfing the drifts on those first three-plus miles probably did it in. The muffler can also be counted as a casualty, since it was observed hanging at a precarious angle.

Loren coaxed the little reprobate to some friends' house nearby, where it sits, lonely and forlorn, in their drive.

The ever untrepidacious Ma went off in the red-hooded blue Toyota to rescue her man.

I took Derek along in case we got stuck and needed help shoveling, or maybe just succumbed to the urge to push a certain decrepit car off of a cliff somewhere. Luckily for the car, it would be WAY too much trouble to scare up a drop-off in the immediate vicinity. (also along...a partial bag of Dove's Dark Chocolates, which could keep the two of us alive for at least an hour, or so)

Everyone is now safely home, with a more reliable means of transportation situated near the drive's entryway.

Oh yes, ALL of those drifts you see in the picture below are now history. Are you not glad Ma saved them in the annals of digitalism for all of posterity?

The kids were so depressed upon hearing all of the neighboring school closings, that I had pity and let them off their Saxon math for today. There was great rejoicing, a credible "wave," and proclamations of "Most Wondrous Mother of the Year, Nay Century."

I actually made up those last two, but let's just say, the kids were pleased.

This still leaves the little problem of Loren not getting in to work, and not being able to hear from his supervisor, who is out running a route, because they are short-handed and could really use some extra people to drive those nifty white trucks with the aesthetically pleasing color combination of purple and orange. (I mean, what was Fred Smith thinking?)

And so, with tomato soup heating on the stove, and the little kids outside digging tunnels in every available drift, we await the backside of "El Stormo."

We wait, we eat, and we think fondly of the zippy red car.

"We miss your rust, your "natural vents,"
third gear that wouldn't engage.
The air conditioner, gone kaput,
your hot and dusty ways.

We miss those ugly lights in front
that swivel from the hood,
Your cunning red, Toyota-ness,
We fear you're gone for good...unless we find out you're worth fixing up, again, but I seriously doubt it, and besides, it's time for lunch...."

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Naturally......

 
....moving vehicles to the south side of drive, in order to ensure drifting to the left of said vehicles, will only encourage the first storm to blow in from the opposite direction....  (thankfully, my smart hubby parked his car in the front)

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This just in....

....Loren starts work tomorrow!

*mass cheering*

Thanks to Mr. Scott, or who-ever is responsible for retrieving the lost molecules of Loren. Computer compatibility has been achieved! No openings left for the Chicago training this week, but the bytes are rolling and Loren leaves tomorrow at 7:30, for a mere 90 minute drive in a snow storm.

YES, THAT'S RIGHT.....we are under a storm watch, with expected snow to last 24 to 36 hours, starting late this evening.

But anyway, Loren will complete his computer training, and then ride along with the couriers to learn routes and help out. Hopefully his 11 years of courier experience--prior to the first cardiac arrest--will come in handy.....*rolls eyes* The Windy City will just have to wait a week or so.
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Jason is doing fairly well, having only needed one giant horse pill-sized pain reliever since breakfast. Today he has eaten....scrambled eggs, instant mashed potatoes, and homemade tapioca pudding. A few of the other kids are actually hoping to get their wisdom teeth out someday so as to have eggs on a regular basis. Makes about as much sense as.....
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...These guys.

I don't know what irritates me more....the union pressure, or the reference to WWJD, which frankly, has always left me a little cold. It ranks right up there with The Purpose Driven Life, and The Prayer of Jabez, and all their sundry spin-offs. I have to be careful, not wanting to tread on anyone's toes (well, ok, maybe a couple :-), but the myriad of related books, including children's versions and NUMEROUS "Bible" studies give me a chill, as I think of not only the MONEY made, but many folks feeling they have to march in step to the latest Christian-living ploy. And, don't even get me STARTED on the "Left Behind," series.

It just makes me wanna stop and ask myself, "How Would Jesus Develop Market Strategy?"

Don't get me wrong--I am not against Christian books, or bookstores, or even...well...authors making a profit. But, people can get hurt with all that stampeding about. This little sheep is trying to keep her glasses on.

And now that I've probably gotten myself in trouble with those who highly esteem some or all of the above, I will rely on my trusty hubby to edit or delete as he sees fit. We don't all have to think or act alike. Remember, they serve also, who sit and eat tapioca pudding.

(by the way, I've always had a slight affinity with "The Ma of Jabez," since I could have easily awarded that same name to Derek or Nolan....not that I hold it against them, or anything...)
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Tune in tomorrow for the long-awaited report, "Ma and Ardith Paint Cedar Rapids Red for Christmas."

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The Ma Side

 
Behind his back, people called Leo a "stiff," but the proud lion simply described himself as kinetically challenged....

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Busted

It's been one of those days...

-busted plans for training in Chicago

-busted (flat) tire when coming out of the grocery store

-busted dreams of being blissfully unaware of the trauma to one's wisdom teeth

So, the boss calls and says that while Loren is officially in his work group, he cannot be accessed or entered into the computer....or.....or something.

I think it is similar to the original transporters on Star Trek--they beam you molecule by molecule from one place to another. Apparently, some of Loren's FedEx molecules are floating off in space. Somewhere. (Why am I envisioning Captain Kirk in a space suit surrounded by darkness?)

But, I guess it was good that Loren was at home, because....CONGRATULATIONS!! you have just won the chance to drive 19 miles to CHANGE THE FLAT TIRE OF YOUR PATHETIC WIFE!

The jack was in the trunk, but the rest of the tools were not, due to equipment redistribution after the snow tire installation party. It's a good thing Loren came....I was running out of excuses for the older gentlemen who offered help. And, I don't think I could have horsed off the wheel, anyway. BUT, now that I've watched it done several times (same parking lot, same parking SPACE, different car) I think I might be able to change the tire. I owe him. Especially if you consider that yesterday he missed Sunday School to run back home and get a piece of transposed music I'd forgotten.

Now, concerning this wisdom tooth pulling with "sedation." When asked if Jason wanted sedation or not, I told them he DID. I said, he wants to be KNOCKED OUT. No one informed me that the actual scenario involved being conscious. I guess this is why it is called "conscious sedation," instead of, say, "we are going to knock you over the head with a baseball bat." I know I should have remembered this from the last victim, er, kid, but I didn't. Hence, Jason was told by his mother that, "you won't even know what is going on."

This is probably why, when I arrived 50 minutes late at the office, I discovered he wasn't "done." Apparently Jason finally gave up arguing with the doc and nurse, and let them go ahead. It was rather traumatizing, given the fact that he thought he would be asleep.

But, he is home, resting fairly comfortably on the couch, communing with his laptop. He is not the least bit sleepy, making it hard to comply with their instructions to, "take him home and put him to bed." But he is doing alright, and does not seem to harbor any ill will towards his ignorant maman.

He is a fine young man. *sniff*

Tomorrow will be better....

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Wonder of wonders....

.....Fed Ex may actually have a password for Loren, meaning he can go to Waterloo to do some computer training, which is right on the way to....

THAT'S RIGHT....BEAUTIFUL, SUNNY CHICAGO, ILLINOIS!!

That is where Loren needs to undergo two days of driver's training. But, before he can do that, he must fulfill certain computer training requirements, which can be accomplished at any FedEx station. If he's been assigned a password.

Personally, I think the whole heart-transplant thing was less hassle.

OK, I'm kidding, but you get my drift. The company that made its name for delivering packages and important letters overnight, has been stymied by a quiet man of 54, who wishes to go back to work, if only someone could assign him a password. And enter it into the computer.

And so we wait with bated breath for another phone call. Hopefully one that is not the annoying fax machine that has been ringing us over and OVER since Friday...

Must go. Much to do. For one thing, I have to get mentally and emotionally prepared to take Jason in for the great wisdom teeth pull-out.

But I will leave you with this little teaser....when I was in to Arby's for lunch, yesterday, I ran into a real, live celebrity! Yes....Ma is practically FAMOUS! I even talked to him.....and.....(I know you won't believe this)....he said a couple of words to me!!!

I'll go into more details. Later. If I have time.

(and begging never hurts, either)

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The Bunny Boy in shorn mode

 
Here is one of my favorite people, whom I did not see much of, today, due to kicking up my heels with Ardith and later, a few of her friends.

More details forthcoming--I only hope they still wish to associate with her after meeting me....

I made it safely home, even getting to tuck in Carolyn and Trevor (of bunny fame)--the former who would not have slept well without my presence.

*sigh*

Fun is fun, but it is nice to be needed, too :-)

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This morning

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Paulie Possum.....

 
....huddles in fear from the marauding Hoyt children
____________________

So, I was off to the church for another fun cleaning session, when I was accosted by my children who were frolicking in the snow...

"Mommy! Mommy! We found a possum! Go get your camera, we've chased it into a bush!"

*sigh*

"Alright...now, leave it alone..."

So, I took many pictures, but did not make the ultimate sacrifice of laying down in the wet snow to get a better facial profile. Later, I realized I'd had the camera set for close-up mode....(well DUH!, Ma....)

Oh well, a couple pics were passable. And, aren't his pink toes just too cute?

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Fairie Worlde

With the temperatures soaring up to 30 degrees, this beautiful artwork is long gone. But it sure was pretty for a while. Especially if you ignore the dirty windows.

On the agenda? Four haircuts and four hours of church cleaning. There goes another Saturday.

BUT, I have escape plans for tomorrow....

"...a beautiful sight, we're happy tonight, walkin' in a winter wonderland...."

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Reflections on this morning

-reveling in the luxury of warm toes....and knowing that it will be the last time said toes are warm, until approximately 1 hour after going to bed again.

-rising very early
----to be prepared for the day in case....
------"Higher Authorities" call saying all is accomplished for Loren to come in to work
----exercising (in case they call)
----shoveling a path to the car (in case they call)
----taking pictures of the cold, cold dawn... as long as I'm up (which I am, because they might call)
----packing Loren's lunch (in case they call)

Naturally, they didn't call. At least not until somewhat later to say that the time was not yet ripe.

Apparently, there are anywhere from 4 to 8 steps in getting Loren reestablished with his company (who shall remain nameless, in case they call).

Each step takes one day to complete. The computer must keep each new bit of information on this troublesome man, and store it overnight. I guess this makes sense to someone. Somewhere.

In comparison, socialism is starting to look productive.

And so, tomorrow--Saturday--we shall once again rise early. Just in case....they call...

*is miffed*

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The Ma Side

 
Just before dawn, and a gazillion aerosol cans of "Instant Snow" later, the handiwork of the Hoarfrost Fairy can be glimpsed.....with only a faint hissing sound heard....off.........off.....in the distance.....

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Just got this Calvin and Hobbes cartoon (among others) in an email from brother-in-law Walter, and couldn't resist sharing it. Is Bill Waterson a genius, or what? (Sorry, but even after working on it with brainy Jason, we couldn't get it to click up larger...)

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Fire on Ice

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Coming of Age Ritual

As she trod the well-worn path,
her mind turned once again to her noble first-born son.

Gladly would she bear his burden on herself instead.
Take it,
she could not.

It was his, and his alone.

Others went before him.....and more there were to follow. But now the call had come for him and answer it, he must.

Would he meet the challenge?
Would he pass the test? Cleansed by fire, burnished and equipped for destiny?

The mother knew all would be well and towards that end she traveled.....
searching out the potions needed for his great travail.

Alloys of the ancients ever potent for the task.
Able to assist, to aid, to sooth him in his trial.

Cillin of Amoxi for the taming of the germ.
Profen of the Ibu for the quelling of the pain.
Dexa of the Methasone for ills of hurt and swelling.

Gathered all together and then placed upon the shelf.....

Waiting for the day when Jason's wisdom teeth are yanked
and there'll be blood and gore and pain and all that other icky stuff
and then he only can eat soft foods such as yogurt, eggs and pudding for at least a day or two.

*deep breath*

Monday.....

It is

the day

of battle.

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The Ma Side

 
Born in a drafty Iowa farmhouse, young Glenn Miller glanced at his bedroom window one frosty morning....and suddenely....he knew his destiny.....

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Sunrise over the Iowa permafrost

(apologies to Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young)

Our House

Our house
is a very, very very cold house.
With ice upon the panes,
as sunlight ever wanes,
Now everything is freezy 'cause it's cold.

I noticed Des Moines got a mention on the national weather news this morning. But since they had a balmy -3, and Waterloo had a record -18, (our local town registering -12) if ANYONE should get recognition (and a chance to whine) it shouldn't be Des Moines. The real life-blood of this state is not the capital, or even the big cities, but all us little folk huddling in small familial clumps in our widely dispersed towns and old farm houses.

*sniff*

(for relatives "down under" the above temps are -19.4444444, -27.7777778, and -24.444444 Celsius, respectively......"G'day, Mate" :-)

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The Jim-Bob Report

"Good evening. I'm Jim McDonald and tonight we have a rare look at the salty side of life. It all started with a strange picture posted on a strange blog by an even stranger Ma Hoyt. In his usual place amidst strange matters, is our Midwestern field reporter, Bob MacCackle. Bob is out in frigid Iowa, and hopefully, he can enlighten us as to this recent mystery. Bob? What's all the fuss about?"

"Well, Jim, if I could just clear up a little matter, first....when you referred to "an even stranger Ma," were you commenting on her personality? Or are we talkin' symmetry of an unknown person, here?"

*sigh* "Personality, Bob. She's just plain weird, isn't she?"

"Fer sure, Jim. Anyway, if we can get right to the heart of the matter, it all started with a picture Ma posted last night. Without any further explanation, the world was suddenly and shockingly exposed to something called 'blind robbins.'"

"And so, Bob, I'm sure with your research skills you jumped right in. What exactly are 'blind robbins?'"

"Yes, Jim, me and the boys have been Googling all day, and while some results were less than satisfactory, this much we did find out.....are you ready for this, Jim? Blind robbins are actually SMOKED HERRING!"

"Get out!"

"No, Jim, I am serious. They are used as a common bar snack. They are extremely salty and are referred to as 'the peanuts in bars in Gloucester.' I think it's an east coast kinda thing--though, reference was also made to Wisconsin and Michigan, whatever that means....."

"Alright, then Bob, so we've established it's a salty snack of your fish-type variety. I assume we are talkin' dried fish?"

"Uh right, Jim. No one I know wants to be associated with a wet herring. And then there's this little nugget...apparently, it is also known as a holiday treat. Traditional food for New Year's Eve, if I'm not mistaken. Soooo...I'm thinkin' one night a year is all most people can stand of the stuff..."

"Say, Bob, something just occurred to me....shouldn't we be referring to these, not as 'blind robbins,' but rather, as 'visually challenged robbins'? It's the dawn of a new millennium, after all..."

"That's NEGATORY, Jimbo. Seems the politically correct terminology doesn't apply to dead fish. Anyway, I found out a few other interesting tidbits....there's a Rockabilly band carrying that name. Oh yes, it can be spelled 'robins,' and let me tell you, THAT little typo threw us off our research, for a while."

"Well, that's just really fascinating, Bob. *yawns* But double consonants aside, what I really want to know is, how did the little buggers get the name, 'blind robbins' as opposed to 'smoked boneless herring'? which, ya gotta admit, sounds so very much more refined..."

"An insightful question, Jim. I only wish I had the answer to it. In fact, we researched so long and hard that we actually reached the END OF THE INTERNET, if you can believe that. And, the beginning. All in all, it's been a pretty satisfying day, Jim."

"That still doesn't tell us the history, Bob."

"Right. Well, here's my best guess, Jim. There was a reference to someone eating them with a blindfold on, but I couldn't nail that definition down. It's my personal opinion that, in the beginning, at least, they only used female herring who went by the name of Robin. And then, after they were...uh...dead, they naturally couldn't see, so...uh...that's how the whole 'blind robin' scenario came about. Maybe. I think."

*blinks* "Yes, well, any other tangible facts on the subject of 'blind robins, Bob?"

"Just this, Jim. It has nothing to do with the little salty fish, but did you know, that birds and other wild animals cannot wear sunglasses, and many of them eventually go blind, Jim? Did you know that? Did you have any idea, AT ALL, JIM?" *sobs*

"Well, folks, that's all we have time for, this evening. For that guy with a big heart, Bob MacCackle, this is Jim McDonald, saying,

Goodnight."

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In the interest of education.....

 
....we offer this picture

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Sunset over frozen farmland

It is most difficult to crawl out of warm covers on a cold morning. But then, a quarter inch layer of ice on the inside of a window is bound to have some insulating properties. (This is only true for a couple of the windows)

But duty calls! One must set a good example for the progeny and all.

First, preparations must be made to start the most important activity of the day....exercising. This included donning slippers and padding down to the basement to get clean socks out of the dryer. Then there was the padding back up to get dressed, and padding down again to pour out Trevor's shot of "wake-up juice," which I'd forgotten in my early morning paddical daze.

So, with all this padding about, I figured I could EASILY subtract 10 minutes from the exercise regime. This allows those precious minutes to be used in a more profitable way....like, reading in the bathroom. (By the way, did you know that the father of the H-bomb was really Stan Ulam and not Edward Teller?)

After exercise--which is performed in a non-heated room of the second floor addition--I clumped down to the kitchen, with all five senses fully functioning.

It was THEN that I smelled it. That unmistakable odor.....dead mouse.

WHOA! How could I have missed this when I was down here earlier? It was then that I spied two little boys playing with the Legos. Before proceeding to check for dead rodents, it might just be prudent to check someone's diaper.

Trevor denied any complicity in the offensive odor department. Twice. I decided it would be easier to check my traps before peeling off his sleepers and exposing him to a chill.

My first two traps were empty....then my eyes rested upon a third, turned upside down. AHA! Victory! Except....when I gingerly picked it up, part of the mouse stayed on the floor.....EE-YOUUUUU. ("she's breaking up!....Cap'n....she's breaking up!")

Man. Don't ya just hate it when that happens?

"Let me see! Mommy, let me see!"

"UGh. No, it's gross! It smells"

"Let me SEE!"

*waves in general direction of boys while making hasty tracks for door*

Well, after all of that, there was nothing for it but to light a scented candle, and scrub the floor with soap and hot water. And fix breakfast.

Say, have I ever given my recipe for "Ma's Power Oatmeal?"

MA's Power Oatmeal

• pour water in pan to boil, add salt, maple flavoring and cinnamon
  
• peel, and chop one half an apple, add to water
  
• Only use long cooking oats-they pack more punch
  
• Put in more oats than they say, so you don't end up with a wimpy thin mixure
  
• When desired doneness is achieved (I always undercook it, 'cause I like some "meat" to my oatmeal) transfer cooked product to bowl
  
• add brown sugar, walnuts, slivered almonds or pecans. I use walnuts since they are cheaper...
  
• add milk with fat content of your choice. I use 2%, because life's too short for skim or 1%.
  

I have seen a lady chef on TV put a "glaze" on the top by getting out a propane torch and heating up the sugar on top to a crust. (for some reason, the name "Belleveiw" just popped into my mind.....I don't know why)

So there you have it :-) Ma's own special power oatmeal. Believe me, it'll stick to your ribs.

In the meantime, I'll leave you with this ancient Irish blessing:

May the road rise to meet you,
May it rise quite a lot,
May your oatmeal be sticky, your mouses be not.

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Bad windows......

 
......make for good iceovers

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Work on the Garage

 

This was taken yesterday while it was still snowing. I thought I'd post it to let people see that Loren has been at work putting up plywood (chipboard) around the garage--usually with Jason's help.

They were at it again today, directly after lunch. With temps dipping down to zero almost every night this week, it is no picnic out there. I went out for just a few minutes to capture the sunset for posterity, and might have mumbled something to Loren on my way in. A word or two casting slight aspersions concerning soundness of mind, or something.

"I think you guys are crazy! It's COLD out here..."

They came in soon after, but only because it was getting dark.

Jason is thawing his feet and I need to look for more flannel sheets.

*shivers*

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Behold, the sun, the snow, the trees, the sky......*sigh*

Having just retrieved most of the kids from Christmas Program practice, here is the lowdown on parts relating to....mmmm....relatives.

Melinda--Mary
Derek--Male Reader # 2
Ethan--Innkeeper
Carolyn--Innkeeper's wife

Oh yes...the snow tires work very well. We don't even have to shovel our drive :-)

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2-4 more inches, today :-)

We keep getting these little non-blizzardy fronts moving through, each dropping a few more inches of the soft fluffy stuff. Believe me, snow that more or less floats and doesn't come down sideways is a bit of a novelty, here in the country.

Noticing that most of my snow pictures have been coming out "bluish" I finally broke down and read through the camera manual. Well, part of it, anyway. I had no idea of some of the features available! I still have large gaps in my knowledge, but the vacant area is growing slightly smaller.

So, not promising better pictures, but...we'll see. The small drift above has already changed significantly in the last 30 minutes. And now, seeing that Loren is determined to go outside and work right at that spot....! Well, I must run out and preserve its beauty for posterity.

Pigeon note: concerning the three pigeons below....I saw that one in the middle and immediately was reminded of Darth Vader escaping in his little fighter at the end of episode 4 (which was the first one made)....um....am I the only one who sees this? Or is Loren right....and I AM warped?

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A New Feature!

Are you excited? Oh good, 'cause so am I. Got a great idea while soaking in the tub a few minutes ago. (that, lying in bed and mowing the lawn are where I get all my "great" inspirations)

We are going to institute a new feature, M*R*M*R, or "Ma's Random Musical Review." This is not to be confused with the vaccine of similar acronymity--MMR (measles, mumps, rubella).....though, these reviews will have the capacity to ward of dangerous forms of pseudo musical life.

Occasionally, there may even be something of a positive nature. But frankly, most of them will be of a negative slant, 'cause let's face it....being critical is just--so--much--more--fun.

On the docket for tonight? a little classical ditty I heard on NPR this morning.

It being December, and the Deejay wishing to be seasonally correct, Vivaldi's "Four Seasons," was played....or more specifically, "Winter."

This would have been perfectly fine, except in a fit of whimsey, the man chose for our edification, an arrangement with a trombonist playing the solo parts.

Now, this is a piece requiring an incredible notesy nimbleness. Particularly in the fast movements. I am pretty sure this is why Vivaldi wrote it for STRINGS, instead of the TROMBONE.

Not only were many individual notes indistinguishable, but what could be heard was often out of tune. It sounded like an enraged hornet, stuck in a glass bottle, searching desperately for the exit. I found myself praying he would get out. Either that, or someone would just cork that bottle and put us out of our auditory misery.

I couldn't help but wonder WHY a trombone player would even attempt it. And then those immortal words that Clinton uttered came back to me...."Because I could. "

In my estimation, this trombone player--who shall remain unnamed, since I couldn't find him on Google--made a very poor choice of material.

I'm thinkin' the announcer may have regretted playing it, also.

Well, that's it for this M*R*M*R. Probably no one will even come across this musical oddity. But, if I can spare just ONE person the indignity or emotional pain of hearing this less than artistic endeavor, then my life will not have been wasted.

Man, I feel better already.

I'm gonna hafta do this more often.....

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Barrenness.......

......has a beauty all its own

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The Ma Side

It was while vacationing in bucolic Iowa one winter, that Mr. Kellogg experienced his Frosted Mini-Wheats epiphany....

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