Veni, Vedi, Togi

Which is to say, after two different nights of searching, we have finally found Loren a suit!

It is Navy with a nice pinstripe. Not too flashy...sort of a kinder, gentler gangster look.

We had checked mucho places in Waterloo with little success. Last night, for our Un-Date, Loren and I traveled to Mason City and wound up at a men's store, Moormans. And there it was....on sale, classy looking and the selling point? Free, life-long alterations.

That's ONE thing off the list.

Concerning the great pole adventure, more preparations were made, today, but the actual utility pole droppage will have to wait until tomorrow. Loren is plumb tuckered out, plus he's had a recurrence of GERD, which means we have to break out the Pepcid Complete, again.

Concerning green beans, we have them COMING OUT OUR EARS!

Melinda just picked 3 ice cream buckets worth, and that was only the green ones she planted. Now she's out there picking the purple beans. And I have to go out and pick mine, TOO. It's entirely possible I miscalculated on how many beans were being planted earlier this spring...

Also today, I went with Derek to get his pro-time, and then traveled in the opposite direction for his heart medication and some stomach stuff for Loren.

THEN, Melinda and I went ONCE AGAIN to the courthouse to work on the gardens. Unfortunately, we've had to do a little redundant work, in that, the lovely mulch procured from the lovely cow sheds at the Butler Co. Fair, contained lovely oat seeds which have sprouted into abundant strands of Oat grass.

I spent close to two hours just picking most of that out. Still, with only 1.5 hours left to complete of our required 40, I do think that we can get a lot of the final side done, in one more trip. We may well go over the necessary hours, but that can't hurt, can it?

After returning home, I put four bags of clearance mulch on my roses and herbs. And I would have to say, it is probably better to use this stuff before it sits for a week in the trunk of one's car. A TEENY bit stinky, but still fine.

All right then....I am off to pick beans. We have eaten beans every night for about 5 days, not that I'm counting or anything.
 

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Catchin' Up

I've caught up on the lawn mowin' and now it's time for the Family Camp Picas album.

60 pictures, so I realize not everyone's going to be interested. My kids might be, however, since they know most of the people. Not that I'm requiring them to view, it mind you (but drop me line, guys, afterward, with a short report. Just so I know you've seen it and I can update your will status).

Allison Bible Family Camp 09

Next on the docket, the monthly family letter and quite possibly, finding something for Loren and I to do on our un-date night. Perhaps we can choose another city and go look for suits...
 

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No Cavities!

Not bad, for six kids and a Ma who likes chocolate.

Of course, there's something about 8am appointments that goes against the grain. But that's not quite as bad as being asked if you can come in at 7:30, instead.

I am such a pushover!

Really....WAY too easygoing.

Melinda got up at 5 and I arose at 5:30 and let me tell ya, WE ARE NOT GOING IN THAT EARLY, EVER AGAIN.

Of course there is the usual feeling of teeth being worked over, as though small hammers were applied to the gums. I cannot bite down with my left, back jaw, but I'm sure I'll be opening tin cans with my teeth again, by tomorrow morning.

Trevor had a little unexpected excitement. The dentist showed me something they'd been watching (they, as in, not telling me until today), concerning an adult tooth that was coming in and had gotten stuck on a baby tooth. They asked if they could pull the baby tooth, which would allow the adult tooth to come in, and then he'll have to have a spacer put in to keep it from covering up where the other adult tooth will erupt. I said yes and at that moment, unbeknownst to me, they gave the little guy (who was in a chair across the room) a shot of anesthetic.

Oh yes, they are good.

It was all done in a flash and he was fine until he saw me, and then he got a little teary. But he did quite well and even got an extra toy, causing Nolan to exclaim SEVERAL times, "That is so unfair!"

I offered to take him back so HE could get a tooth extracted, and Nolan looked as though he were giving it serious consideration.

After we got home I went back to bed for an hour, then we tried to eat without chewing too much...

THEN I went out and mowed with our NEW (used) mower...
The Lean Green Lawnboy-of-Power

It has a few features that aren't perfect, but it goes a loooonnng time before the gas runs out, not to mention, IT DOESN'T DIE ALL THE TIME!

Loren got two identical ones on Ebay from a guy in Aplington. Together they cost $71.00.

Can you believe that?

This calls for another chocolate, to celebrate :-D
 

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Life in the Gardeny Yard

Had to drag out the hoses and water a few things this morning. But before that herculean struggle with long pieces of evil vinyl tubing, Ma went out to snap a few posies. (I realized after posting that some of these aren't the greatest focus...but frankly, I'm tired) Click to enlarge pictures.

One of the Knockout variety, this is called "Rainbow," since it comes out sorta orange and yellow, at first...
...but basically, it ends up being a pink rose.

My favorite Knockout, "Red." Practically fluorescent, it's so bright.


Probably my overall pick, "Morden Blush."
Blushing cream and pink with the petals more closely packed, like an old-fashioned type rose.

Some of the roses, with scouring brush, curtainy backdrop.


Another Ma pleaser, "Button Snakeroot," or it's alternate name which sounds so formidable...
...Rattlesnake Master.

This didn't turn out so well, focus-wise, but it's one of this year's additions from the ditch...."Orange Oriental Lily."


Despite having different wildflowers from the ditch in odd places, I have a section in the garden proper for some wildflowers, as well....
The white yarrow is trying to take over, but also here , "Toadflax" (yellow, wild snapdragon), and "Hoary Vervain" (purple, with spikes), as well as a few "Cornflowers."

We'll end with Carolyn's Sunflower, stretching it's budly arms in the morning light.
I think she salvaged these from somewhere near the bird feeder, and transplanted them to her garden plot.
__________________

Now it's off to new mower excitement! Loren picked up two used Lawnboys on Ebay. The guy selling them lives in Applington, so Loren just had to drive a little ways to get the deal of a lifetime. And believe me, it WAS a great deal :-)

The only downside is, I'll have to find something else to whine about, now...
 

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Internet is BACK!

Nothing like pulling up Facebook and finding "25 new posts."

The phone still doesn't always work properly, but anyway...

One of our hubs went down and we lost contact WITH THE WORLD for a while, starting yesterday.

But have no fear, all is well and Ma is back to harass people and just generally keep them in line :-D

I will be getting up a Picasa album on this year's family camp--sometime--but let me report on yesterday,

El Dayo Humongo,

Oh si.

First of all, we were headed over to church for the last morning of Family Camp, when Trevor pipes up from the back seat, "Mommy, I have a sniffle."

Ut oh. Too late to go back and give him THE PURPLE STUFF.

I guess a summer cold is preferable to a winter cold (Ethan and Trevor are both coughing this morning and I've set them up on the couch with books and calf sippers).

(they probably won't mind sleeping outside, so as not to contaminate the rest of the family...will they? I doubt very much that the skunk even comes by every night)

After the services, Ma took her archaic little cell phone out to the porch and began heating up the lines to allay a small problem concerning Derek's heart medication. He had TOLD me a whole week ago when he would run out, but with all the busy-ness of Family Camp I forgot, and he forgot, and the last pill was taken Sunday AM with another needed by evening.

So I rounded up an "on call" doctor from Iowa City Children's hospital and had a prescription called in.

After the yummy lasagna-and-leftover meal, we helped a little bit with the cleanup and beat it for home. Ma changed and headed off to THE BIG CITY of Waterloo where apparently, pharmacies are open on Sunday.

Of course it was nice to have the drive to myself. It might have been nicer if the air conditioning wasn't busted and I didn't have to drive with the windows down so that I could hardly hear the radio with the busted base speaker in the back that goes, "Whap, whap, whap." However, it was still nice.

I decided to do the weekly shopping as well, and hey, mulch was on sale for a dollar a bag! What a buy. I'm sure I can figure out some way to make it palatable for the family.

As I was leaving around 5, I decided there would be just enough time to work in one more event so I called home and told Loren to have the kids eat a quick supper and change clothes, 'cause Ma was taking them to see...

THE FRANZ FAMILY :-D

We do love to hear the Franz Family. Kendra hadn't been to a concert for 2 years so we were all glad to go, though the tight schedule meant we got there 10 minutes before seven and had to sit in chairs behind the last row. That would explain my less than stellar picture.

The seven of us sat on five chairs, with Trevor rotating from lap to lap and Ethan and Nolan also sharing a chair. Funny how Nolan chose the quietest moments to shift noisily around to different positions....

Of course the Franz Family are all superb musicians--Olivia can really crank on the fiddle, now!--but we always enjoy the closely harmonized, a cappella numbers, too.
Notice how I got that microphone right in Randy's face? Not just anyone can do that from the back row, people!

After arriving home, I threw the younger kids in bed and Carolyn on up and I watched the third and last installment of Dicken's Our Mutual Friend, which my mom had taped a while back and given to me.

THANKS, MOM! We really enjoyed it. Now I'll have to read the book.
________________

As for today, there is laundry and mowing and umpteen things to catch up on, which I should possibly pursue, right now...
 

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On getting sleep

I'm fer it.

And tonight we arrived home just before 9:30, which means, nearly decent rest!

I'd jump for joy but am just too tired.

Besides, now that I'm old, I could very well land wrong and break a hip.

In other news, Kendra left before 7:30 this morning to drive down to Cedar Rapids. There, she--or at least, we assume, she--participated in the thrilling activities of trying on bridesmaid dresses and attending her sister's bridal shower :-)

Fun stuff, I am sure.

She is still not home yet....*checks watch*...but I imagine she will be, soon, since she didn't communicate otherwise.

(is that a subtle enough hint for you, Kendra?)

Tomorrow morning will finish up Family camp with the end of the Bible Story, Missionary Story, preaching and the traditional lasagna luncheon meal.

Personally, I'm coming mainly for the lasagna...

JUST KIDDING, PASTOR JOHN :-D

I think there will still be some leftover cookies and cupcakes, too.

Then everyone pitches in to clean up the church, half of which involves sorting through stray towels, socks and other miscellany of a cottony fibrous nature.

A lot of sweeping and cleaning of bathrooms and picking up small bits leftover from water balloon fights....which brings up the subject, why couldn't baptisms be carried out simultaneously with water balloon fights?

Sort of a "twofer" activity.

I could come up with all sorts of equally spiritual innovations if only given half a chance.

Until then, I'll be sleeping.
 

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Winding down

Well, that might be a slight exaggeration, since el biggo skitto day is tomorrow, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Sorry, no pictures tonight. Just getting too tired. Also, I agreed to transpose a song, which is not that big of a deal, but I don't think I can do that and download, edit and post pictures, tonight.

The exciting news is that at 1 this morning, I finished off a completely new skit and the kids have agreed to do it!

Which is just as well, since I was going to force them to, anyway.

Other exciting news is that I hope to get to bed before midnight.
 

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Family Camp, Day 1

The first full day is complete. And while I wait for the "late kids" to come home and continue gnashing my teeth over the skit, here are a few pics. Click to enlarge.

Pastor John had the Bible lesson for this morning.
Ol' eagle ears Nolan heard the camera focusing noise and turned around...

After lunch was a modified shuffleboard contest, performed on the tops of tables, and GUESS WHO WON?
Seth Johnson and yes, MY NOLAN!!

(I taught him everything he knows)

Later that afternoon, Steven Kruse had to try out the slippy slide to make sure it was safe for the little kids.
How's that workin' for ya, Steve-o?

Then it was off to skeet shooting. We managed to cram a Johnson quartet into our vehicle...
...who knew a minivan could hold 11 people?

There's Ethan, my lil' militiaman in training.


When you're Nolan, you don't need a real gun to get into the spirit...
...a small folding camp stool will suffice.

So that wraps up another first day of Family Camp. We did a special number during this evening's service, so that should take a load off of a coupla kids' minds.

I've just had an idea for a completely new skit, which would make it about the 5th or 6th attempt. I've lost track, and it's getting to be a harder process, since the older they get, the more likely they are to voice opposing viewpoints.

Why can't everyone be more like me? It would make the world a lot simpler...
 

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Family Camp, Opening Night

Just a few quick snap shots of this evening. As with the past two years, The Johnson Stings gave an opening night concert.

Every time they have a new and wider variety of selections. This number included strolling through the audience :-)


There was the usual hobnobbing amongst peoples....Derek talking with Laura Severs.


"Whaddya mean, Mama...? You didn't want me to wipe my chocolatey face all over your shirt?"


Ah....I like to see a man with a dishtowel in his hands!
You are learnin' Kain proper, Nancy :-) Ma predicts a long and happy future.

Off to bed, soon. Skit possibility #4 is in the works (can you say, FRUSTRATION?). I will definitely be watching the happenings of tomorrow to see if a faux-pas or two can be used as fodder to feed our pathetic production which may or may not actually occur)
 

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Less Than Seven Hours 'Til Liftoff

Just a few things left to do before leaving at 5, this evening:

--finish mowing the lawn - 1.25 hours
--weed whack - 2 hours (I could skip this...)
--write out the music for a barbershop quartet (this will take 4 or 5 hours, including master and separate parts. If I can just get the master done, that would be OK)
--fix food for pot-luck dinner
--get a couple of kids into the tub
--maintain sanity (always a little iffy)

However, ADDED to this list is another possibility....cleaning up a little hair mishap.

You may not be able to see clearly, but the story is moderately interesting, in that, it only causes me to gnash my teeth in a moderate way.

Nolan learned another level in his verse memorization last week, so I gave him a prize, a rather unfortunate choice, as it turns out.

Silly Putty.

God bless the person who invented Silly Putty. We should pray for these people, just as we always pray for those in harm's way or under peril of imminent death from the millions of frustrated mothers who have tried to pick Silly Putty out of clothing, afghans, hair...

ANYWAY, Nolan and Trevor were playing with this tool of Satan stuff, when it somehow, ACCIDENTALLY, got stuck in Trevor's hair.

Being the quick, but not necessarily long-range thinker that he is ("How can I get rid of the evidence, without taking into consideration that I am, in fact, creating more evidence...?"), Nolan procured the toenail clippers and proceeded to excise said putty from Trevor's hair.

I might not have noticed this for several days, (as pre-Family Camp stress puts me in a slightly catatonic condition), except for that wonderful gift God gave to many mothers, SMALL CHILDREN WHO "TELL" ON OLDER SIBLINGS.

It would seem a very close buzz cut might be in order, though I may just skip it and tell everyone he has a rare scalp disease.

And as the grass was still damp for mowing (it's not cutting wet grass, so much, as getting my shoes and socks sopping wet), I've taken time out of today's busy schedule to share this bit of homey family life.

Yes, one has to admit it is funny. But then, wouldn't it have been even funnier had it happened to someone else?

Methinks it would.

Also, I have added fingernail clippers to the list of items to be stored in the safe...

...just as soon as we get one.
 

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Countdown to Family Camp

Getting ready for el campo biggo, which goes from Wednesday night through Sunday noon.

Hardly anybody actually camps on the church grounds...well, anyone SANE, that is...but we still call it "camp" because of the water fights and skeet shooting.

There are usually a few Bible lessons thrown in there, as well.

:-D

It will be so nice, this time around, not to have to work in church cleaning in the wee morning hours each day before we head over. I may have FUN this year!

As partial preparation, I got my hair cut. I look both thinner and younger, so clearly, I'll be getting my hair cut most every day right up until Ardith's wedding.

Also on the agenda, mowing the lawn so that it'll look real nice while no one's at home. Well, no one except Loren and Derek, who'll be working until they slip in before the supper meal and bask in the cool air conditioning, after I've been watching kids all day.

Then there is cooking. Each family fixes up the following: meatballs, cubed chicken, 2 packages bacon, one can frosting, 2 dozen cookies, 2 dozen bars, 2 dozen muffins, 1 dozen cupcakes.

It all works out quite well, with different folks throwing together the meals from the freezer stockpile. All we have left to do at our house is bake cookies and bars.

Not to be forgotten is the little matter of a skit, which hasn't been DONE yet. I'm going to work on it tonight and try to pull together some ideas from Derek, the kids and myself.

I'm pretty sure we can juice the whole thing up with some opera.
 

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October in July

 

"I wanted my self, to not shake forever,
Did I get too cold at the fair?
To freeze in July, oh what's with this weather,
Did I get too cold at the fair?"

We did get to the Franklin County Fair, yesterday, though in retrospect, winter coats would not have been unwelcome. Cloudy and 60 degrees, with a stiff breeze....brrrr! We stopped by Deb Currier's booth and she was doing a brisk business in sweatshirts.

We spent the rest of the afternoon darting in and out of buildings, between arctic blasts. OK, that's an exaggeration, as apparently I was the only one who was freezing 98% of the time.

First we looked at some animals.

Bunny to bunny....
...Trevor peers at a lop eared rabbit.

Then we sat up in a small grandstand, which doubled as a people-freezing machine, and watched an animal show...
...three volunteers from the audience get all snaky.

After that, we headed over to the homemade ice cream stand, where it seemed to take a long time to fill our meager 7 ice creams order. I could feel great waves of heat billowing out of their building and tried not to be envious of the chocolate chip cookies they were munching among themselves.

We went inside the caboose to eat our ice cream and shiver in peace.


Then we ambled over to the ride section--big mistake--as we'd thought it surely wouldn't cost too much for some of the younger ones to take just one ride...

THREE DOLLARS PER KID

So the youngest 4 went, with Kendra going halvsies to help pay.

Trevor is all excited to be riding the "Jumping Dumbos," while Carolyn hides her face in shame...
(actually, she was just brushing some hair out of her eyes...she volunteered so Trevor wouldn't be by himself :-)

I thought it might be nice for the kids to experience some traditional fair food, and Kendra volunteered to buy some funnel cakes.

And when I discovered they cost FIVE DOLLARS APIECE, I decided one could be shared, between us. Hey, all they need is a TASTE.

We did the usual routine of looking through all the little shops in their historic town, which is one of the reasons we go to the Franklin County Fair, and not Butler's.

Then we availed ourselves of a tractor ride, one of many circulating the grounds, to get back to where we'd parked the van.
This ride was free, and lasted quite a bit longer than ol' Dumbo.

Got home just in time to curl up in a blanket on the couch and snooze through the evening news.

Which reminds me, I need another nap.
 

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Gardeny Fun

I just finished weeding my rose row and have the dirt under my fingernails to prove it.

Mucho funno, as Ma also placed pieces of limestone along the back edge to help with erosion and just to "look purdy." There is NOTHIN' quite so fun as unprofessional landscaping, I always say.

Another diversion is planned for this afternoon/evening, as Loren and I will be heading off to Waterloo for some serious suit shopping. We've been trying to get out to do something, every other week. It's not a "date night," as such, because most of you know how Loren shuns and abhors the thought of doing anything trendy, so I'll just refer to it as "Un-Date Night."

I know you're asking, "Ma, where did you come up with the exciting and romantic idea of shopping for a suit?" Well, it's like this....there were no movies around that I cared to see and Loren really, REALLY needs a decent suit, so...

Plus, I hope to look around for a discount rose to replace my beloved "Betty Boop" that bit the dust, and since I'm in such a great mood--being out on the un-date and all--I may even go hog wild and buy a coupla more bags of mulch!

Naturally, the kids were biting their lips in an effort to NOT ask about seeing a movie while we were gone. But Ma can read their precious and conniving, little minds, so I brought it up first.

I would have to say that they did not approach our excursion with the sorrow of yore.

For in fact, this summer has become, "The Year of the Video," due to my extra work in Master Gardening and Loren and my get-aways.

First is was, "Mommy, you were gone so long !" (after Melinda and I'd been away for extra hours)

Pretty soon it became, "When are you going to leave?"

And more recently, "I thought you said you were leaving?" (when it's five minutes past the time I'd said and I haven't gone out the door, yet)

When school starts up again this fall, it's going to be quite a shock.
 

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The Jim-Bob Report

"Good evening, and welcome to another edition of 'The Jim-Bob Report.' This is Jim McDonald, coming to you from Iowa, where we've gone on location ever since the stunning death of Michael Jackson. Originally, we had planned to go to California, but we ran out of money....and well...here we are in Des Moines. All is not lost, however, we've sent our field reporter, Bob MacCackle, up to the Hoytstead to poke around and see what's happening. Bob? Tell us the latest from the Iowa Hoytsters?"

"FREE LEE COWAN!

FREE-THE-ENCINO-ONE !

FREE LEE COWAN!

FREE-THE-ENCINO...."

"Bob...?BOB! What's going on up there? Why all the shouting?"

"Oh...hi, Jim! I was just leading the crowd in our protest chant. We think NBC should give Lee Cowan another news gig, instead of sticking him out there in front of the mourners at Jackson estate. We think..."

"But Bob, that's old news. It's over, or at least it will be in about five more years. Lee's on another assignment, I think..."

"Oh. Well, no one ever TELLS me anything, Jim. I'm still waiting for you guys to send the aps for my Tandy Color Computer 2. So...what's happenin' ol' buddy?"

"Now Bob, that's what I was asking you. It's time for another update on that politically incorrect-sized family and their lovable but wacky matron, Ma Hoyt. How are things in Hoytland, Bob?"

"Oh yeah...them. Well Jim, most everyone in the household is getting ready for church family camp, coming up the end of next week. Problem is, there's no skit figured out yet, and the kids are starting to get frantic. It's crunch time, Jim!"

"OOoooo, that is bad, Bob. What is Ma going to do?"

"She's got several options, Jim. One of which is going on strike."

"Strike? Oh Bob, surely not..."

"That's right, Jim. Ma is seriously weighing her options, which include bailing the kids out for yet another year and coming up with most of the skit, or going on strike and refusing to participate."

"Well I never....who would have thought, Bob..."

"Exactly, Jim. Ma's tired of doing all the dirty skit work. She'd much rather be out in the garden, digging and weeding."

"Right. That's where I'd be too, if I wasn't stuck with this lousy 6.5 million dollar anchor job. But a fellah has to eat."

"Six point five mil....Jim, I'm beginning to think the network could afford a TRS-80. The white model, Jimbo...do you hear me? THE WHITE MODEL!!! AAARRGGGHHHHH...."

"And that's all we have time for, folks. Join us next week when we take an in-depth look at teen tattoos. Unique forms of art? Or shallow exhibitionism? You decide.

Until then, this is Jim McDonald, speaking for all of us, here at the network...yes, even Bob,

good-night."
 

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The Sock Saga Continues

PLUS, pictures from our church picnic :-)

But first, the gripping drama of Nolan's socks.

We may remember a few weeks ago when Ma complained about the mysterious disappearance of most of Nolan's decent socks. He had one pair left from the original six that were acquired lo, these very few months ago.

I was careful to see that THIS PAIR was washed and ready to be worn at the annual church picnic. Both Nolan and Trevor took off their shoes and socks at some point, but collected them before leaving. After a long day and a sleepy ride home, Nolan came into the house and discovered, "Mommy...I only have one sock!"

(oh, SUPER)

So I bought another package today, and got home only to find, with mucho dismayo, that I'd purchased the wrong size.

D'ya think some of this is inherited...Do you?
______________________

Alrighty. Here is a 54 photo Picasa album from last Sunday's church picnic.

As usual, every caption is absolutely true. Pretty much.

If anyone has any problems, see my *lawyer.

Allison Bible Church picnic 09

*I have no lawyer....MWAH, HAH HAH, HAH HAH!
 

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Cool Customers

I was sitting at my computer this morning, minding the world's business, when I suddenly heard,

"Mommy! Two bucks! You gotta get your camera!"
Sorry for not being able to move that guy wire.

They came from the road and proceeded into Mr. Frey's soybeans, munching as they went.


Then along came an adolescent.
He was followed by another young buckeroo...

And off they go, into the sunrise.


A doe came following soon after, showing proper submission by bringing up the rear.

These are probably the same characters that leave hoof prints in our garden and have been gnawing on my green beans, not to mention half a head of Trevor's cabbage.
 

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Concerning Unusual Attachments to the Diptera Order

The Scene: The dining room, shortly before supper. The table is being set by assorted children when a large fly is observed, landing audaciously on the clean plates...

Ethan: "Get him! We have to kill that fly!"

Trevor: "No wait....don't kill him !"

Ethan: "WHY----NOT?"

Trevor: "Because he's my pet!"

Ethan: "You can't have a pet fly...if you have a pet, it's gotta have a name. What's it's name?"

*brief pause*

Trevor: "Foo-foo."

*pandemonium*
 

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Unrealistic Optimism Springs Eternal

TREVOR: "What time is Jason coming up?"

MA: "Oh...sometime."

TREVOR: "Well, I hope he brings me a present."

MA: "Hmmm, I think that's kind of selfish."

TREVOR: "Well, I hope he does."

MA: "Look, he driving up so he and Daddy can work on the car. Bringing you a present? I mean, that's kinda ridiculous."

TREVOR: "It isn't, to me."
 

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Once Upon a Time...

...there was a huge, old house set in the bucolic countryside of Iowa, nestled between corn and bean fields and homey gravel roads.

Upon the property on which this old house sat, there resided a seven-foot hole. And in this hole much water had seeped, due to copious rains of the past week, which had indeed bordered upon the delugial.

Within the house upon this property, there lived six children, one father and one tired and chubby matron. The matron had a good heart, though, so her few but obvious faults were overlooked, particularly since she made decent attempts to keep up with the laundry, lawn, minimal food preparation and demands upon the children to attain academic scholarships and thus secure their place in the world.

On the day in question, our beloved Ma had taken to her bed, whereupon she did lie down and ruminate over recent labors with the weed-whacker-of-buzzability. She was dozing quietly, having set her alarm for 35 minutes. Ten minutes into this blissful, muscle aching reverie, she heard a child's voice outside her door:

"Mommy....."

"Whhaaa..."

"MOMMY!"

*looks at clock and opens door reluctantly*

"Nolan? Why are you all wet?"

"A bucket fell into the hole and I just HAD to get it..."

"You...WHAT?"

"I just HAD to get it! And there was a lot of water down there...*stifles sob*...but I got the bucket and climbed back out..."

*is suddenly more alert*

"But....oh my...you shouldn't have....but....why didn't you ask someone for help?!"

"I DID."

"Who?"

"I asked God!"

In short order the hole was covered with a board and 4 large rocks. The child who was wet to his waist took a bath and the Ma gave stern instructions to two young boys to never, EVER, play near the hole, again.

And they lived.
 

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The Day of Sittingness

Whenever I'm traveling to a new location, I usually endeavor to leave early, due to my near 100% record of misinterpreting directions.

(actually, I have been known--amongst myself--to arrive at new destinations without problems, but that's so boring that it's not worth mentioning)

The big day, Thursday, began on Wednesday, when it was decided that some videotic entertainment would be advisable. Not an all day affair, mind you, just enough to keep the younger ones fairly comatose between 1-5:30. I figured that eating lunch was a good activity--it's hard to bicker over toys when one is stuffing el moutho--and the clean-up would keep them busy for another 10-15 minutes.

After that, Snow White and Star Wars IV, a nice balance of old and new implausibility. One should always strive for balance in the sedating of young minds.

Their day planned for them, Melinda and I left around 11:00 to head for the Hardin County Fairgrounds.

Let's just forget about the two times I had to turn around and get straight to the best part...

...we arrived. And parked in the booster section. Not sure what a booster section is for, but I figured that the Green Dragon Lady Lincoln, though old, would boost the spirits of the other vehicles parked therein. Give them something to aspire to, shall we say.

Also found the DNR trailer, where Ma demonstrated her uncanny powers of observation by "pulling" on the door which was labelled "push." It opened, so I'm thinkin' I must have some magical powers of some sort.

We got ourselves acclimated to the interior of the trailer, which amazingly enough, is rather long and rectangular. But it does boast a hidden door and two plasma screen TV's, on which one can watch never-ending Bill Nye videos.

There were a few displays and two game consoles wherein one could play Jeopardy-esque games of an energy and conservation nature (and you thought recycling was boring!)

THANKFULLY, there were two chairs for Melinda and I to perch upon, whilst reading our books. Melinda with her chemistry and myself with The Pluto Files (an excellent read, by the way :-)

The trailer itself was not balanced evenly upon the ground, but if one didn't try to walk too often it was really no problem. We sat in our chairs, reading our books and trying to smile and say "hello," when people visited. And while we weren't particularly glum, it's safe to say we will not be getting a PR award, any time soon. I think we did enough just refraining from, "Oh....you guys want to come in here ?....*sigh*...."

It was a rather long afternoon, broken up by eating our packed lunch and looking out the window to see one of the carnival ride operators texting while his whirligig-thing was running. Young twerp.

Another time, I personally witnessed a cute, reddish haired llama walking by. Twice.

Two people did come in and inquire about where to dispose of glass items, since the landfill apparently won't take them. I gave them the email address I'd been left with and tried to offer intelligent comments like, "Well, I don't really know, since I'm from Butler County..." You know, helpful things like that. Around 83 people stopped in, altogether.

It was a pretty long six hours, though by the time we got close to 4:00 it started looking less interminable. About this time, however, I noticed that I was within 2 chocolates and 1/4 can of Diet Coke from being bereft of decent scoffage, though I still had a few pretzels and bottles of water left.

The ample amount of "I'm going out of my mind!"leisure time did allow me to finish my entire book, and then proceed to my crossword puzzles, so it's entirely possible that I increased my vocabulary by one or two words.

One overriding factor of discomfort was the air conditioning. I had read a weather forecast that predicted a hot sunny day in the 90's, but instead we had overcast skies with a cool breeze and temps in the mid 70's. In other words, I was FREEZING.

But we Master Gardeners must endure the hardships of life. No one said sitting in a trailer, reading and greeting people, showing kids how the consoles work, and giving out misinformation would be easy.

The very best thing about the day was to return home to the bosom of my family and a meal of smoked sausages, prepared by Carolyn and Ethan.

I should go away more often.

Ok, I don't really want to do that. Most of the time, anyway.

Well, some of the time. Or,

maybe we should go away once in awhile just to experience the joy of coming home?
 

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Soon.....soon....

I'll get a post up.

Melinda and I were gone until just before supper and I have a few things to catch up on.

33.5 of the required 40 hours are IN!

And actually, if all the potential projects panned out, we'd have more than enough to go over 50 hours, heh, heh.

I wonder if you get extra credit in Master Gardening...like, maybe....Jedi Master Gardener? Hmmmm?
 

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More Stuffs

Running out of snappy titles, here...

I finished my third training module for the First Detector business, made all the harder by the kids watching Sesame Street and Abby Cadabby's voice driving me NUTS. Still, I took the quiz and got 100! That makes 100, 90 and 100 on my three quizzes. Hey, these are not the most easy things in the world, let me tell ya.

There was a brief pause while I regained my mental equilibrium, and then we polished off another hour of Nolan's school work. We should finish his science book by the end of this week, and the rest of history (I hope) by the end of next week. Then it's just a matter of his continuing to memorize his verses through the fifth level so he can get his very own Bible! He's working on the end of level four, at the moment.

THEN I got terribly inspired to start on the curriculum for next fall, but was brought up short when I remembered I'd FORGOTTEN to complete Derek's final transcript! D'ya think they might want that before he starts college??

This work wasn't TOO terrible except for the arduous task of going through ALL his physics papers and recording the grades, which by implication, means I do not do this day by day during the year.

After lunch, Melinda and I went back to the courthouse, which probably has enough work to keep us busy throughout next summer....but anyway, we got in 2 and 1/4 hours and I posted Derek's transcript in the mail.

Then back home with just enough time to throw a casserole together and into the oven.

Somewhere in there I finished up 5 loads of laundry and folded it, along with the basket of clean laundry that had been sitting in the kitchen for 3 days.

What can I say, I work in spurts.

And so, I think I be tired enough to go to bed, now...
 

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X-QQQQ's em W'RRRR

That's very bad, southerny-text-type French for, "Sorry I didn't post, yesterday."

Texting in French, with a bad accent....I'm thinkin' the world could USE that!
__________________

Attacking another weedy part of the vegetables yesterday morning, this Master Gardener Intern rediscovered three living eggplant seedlings, stunted, but alive among the summer squash. Personally, I don't think they have a chance. Particularly after I accidentally pulled one up, thinking it was a weed.

I have NEVER seen anything grow as slowly as those silly eggplants. More than 3 weeks to germinate, then steadily holding their height to an amazing 2.5 inches for the next 3 months. Really, it quite boggles the mind.

But I did get that section all tidied up, and even noticed that one of the orange butterfly weeds I culled from the courthouse garden is putting out shoots. Yay for MA!

On the bean front, I am somewhat snarked out that the deer have decided to nibble off the tops of my Jade Bush Beans. This wouldn't be so bad, but the varmints have left enough of Melinda's beans--seed which she saved from last year's crop--to the extent that they are flowering and basically putting mine to shame.

Not that I'm bitter, or anything.

But I do have something to quell the legumal sorrow. Last night, with Melinda's help, I planted a Japanese Tree Lilac! It's been on half-price sale for several weeks, with me eyeing it anxiously every time I went shopping. When I returned from my workshop in Ft. Dodge on Tuesday, I stopped at the store with every intention of buying it, only to discover that all the employees were heading out the door with every intention of going home. Theisen's Home Farm Auto Store had closed 15 minutes previously.

Oh, the remorse and regret!

So, I decided that when I went shopping, yesterday, if it was STILL THERE, it would be a SIGN that I was to buy it....and.....there it was.

Another casting of the fleece, come to fruition :-D

All that remains is to try and keep things from destroying it. I'm more worried about the bipedal than the quadrupeds. Certain people--more precisely, one--have a penchant for experimenting with various implements of destruction, only to discover things cannot be put aright, afterward.

With this in mind, and with Trevor and Nolan observing Melinda and me setting the tree into place, I issued my plea,

"Now, I'm gonna need you guys to help me protect this little tree, alright? We must see that nothing (read: Nolan) harms it, OK?"

Nolan: "We will, Mommy. If deer or rabbits come to chew on the tree we will throw ROCKS at them!"

"Welllll...I'd rather not have rocks in the grass....(not to mention unintentional concussions from ill-thrown stones)."

"Then, we'll run at them and CHASE them away!"

"THAT sounds better."
_________________

It's been raining this morning, so I think we're safe, for the moment.
 

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From Pole to Shining Hole

July 4th dawned gray and drizzly, at the Hoytstead.

Several notable personages came up from Cedar Rapids to share in a meal and Scottish Caber Toss (a hole having been dug by Ethan Hoyt, to a depth of 7 feet, including standing water in the bottom).

After a sufficient repast, willing victims volunteers assembled on the green of the recently--and rather expertly--mowed lawns of the massive 1.5 acreage.

There was some milling about and bowing of heads. This was thought to be a mixture of anticipation and respect for the upcoming feats of strength, but in reality, it was the slow realization creeping over the group..."This pole is much longer than I thought," with a few of the womenfolk muttering in dismay, "I hope our health insurance premiums are paid up...."

We had the help of a Mr. Scholl, fiance Justin, as well as Ethan, Derek, the Hoyt patriarch and someone named Jason, who is rumored to be another of the never-ending offspring of Loren and Rebecca Hoyt.

All able-bodied menfolk assembled, lining up in order of height...."Heave...!"


It went up....


...and up, to a certain point at which it hung in the air, becoming quite heavy.
"Derek...get on the other side before we drop it on you!'

Well anyway...

Consultations with a local farmer could ensue, to see if a certain tractor apparatus is available to lodge the stubborn caber into the hole.

Or, one could go a simpler route and build a huge scaffolding arrangement.

Afterward, all retired to the living room to take part in discussions and the fending off of young boys with pretensions of not being tickled.

A most goodly time!
 

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Kendra Turns 20 !

Or as she stated herself, "Starting my 3rd decade."

Hmmmm, since she's 20 and I'm 50, it seems like another one of those mathematical relationships that would involve the daughter taking the mother out to dinner.

Sorry for the delay in posting Kendra's birthday. We celebrated one day late, since she had to work on Tuesday (the 30th) but not Wednesday (July 1). It also worked out nicely with me attending my fascinating bug seminar in Ft. Dodge.

What does not work out so nicely, is typing with cuts on about 4 finger tips, some fingers with more than one cut. Next time, WEAR GLOVES when picking driveway rocks out of the burn pile.

On to El Birthdayo!

Kendra had mercy upon her chère maman and picked burritos for her birthday meal.

Espcecially appropriate since Melinda and I were off to the courthouse that day for mulching.

I also left out the recipe for the pound cake dessert, which Kendra nicely picked up on, hint-wise (or, she might have read my note...we must not belittle the intelligence of these college students!).

At any rate, when I got home, late, all that was left was assigning kids to cut up stuffs, with me performing the herculean task of browning the hamburger and applying my secret taco seasonings. You know, the kind that come in those little packets at the grocery store.

FINALLY everyone was done eating, no small task when you are waiting for certain people to PERFECTLY arrange the innards of their second massive burrito.

Here is Kendra blowing out the candles, carefully placed in the cracks on top of the cake.
Notice Ethan in the background, unable to keep from blowing, himself...

First present, a piano book of Dvorak dances.


Jane Austen: Obstinate Heart. (no, Kendra, I was not implying ANYTHING)
It's just supposed to be a good biography.

Three music CD's: one of Broadway tunes, Dances and Marches, and GLAD, singing Gershwin.


We listened to the GLAD CD after supper. Different. Some songs I liked better than others. And I have to say, it sounded a LITTLE strange hearing that contemporary gospel group sing, Embraceable You, "Don't be a naughty baby, come to papa, come to papa, do..."

Hee, hee.

Ah, good times.
 

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Waiting for Blogger to load...

...a person could fall asleep.

Particularly if one has spent time doing:

--school

--mowing 2/3 of the lawn

--starting and tending a huge brush pile fire (with gasoline...OH BOY!)

--drinking 4 large glasses of Gatorade.

I believe I just have the strength left to take some headache pills and toddle off to bed.
 

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"Ha" on Ma

What I thought would be a simple, two-hour mulching job at the courthouse turned into 5 hours and 20 minutes. Highlights of the day were as follows:

• some manure left in the mulch, which came from the cow sheds at the Butler County fair
  
• Green Dragon Lady Lincoln refusing to start at noon, when we realized we needed food
  
• unknown lady spraying starter fluid down the gullet of the GDLL, while I cranked
  
• car of infamy started on third spray, which was also the end of the can
  
• had Loren on the phone during this time..."We're gonna be late...have the kids start lunch....I HATE THIS STUPID CAR!"....(I didn't mean it, O Green Dragon Lady Lincoln)
  
• buy sandwiches, drinks and STARTER FLUID at Casey's, whilst leaving the car running
  
• more mulching
  
• Melinda weeded the rose garden and finished pruning
  
• still filling the wheel barrow with mulch
  
• told Melinda three times, "This is the last load...REALLY"
  
• Melinda loses all faith in her mother's word
  
• could have stayed 45 more minutes, but decided to go home and rescue Loren from the kids
  
• stopped by church and watered lilies
  
• had Kendra's 20th birthday celebration! (pictures, tomorrow)
  
• cleaned up huge mess in kitchen (well, some of it, anyway)
  
• finished blogging
  
• went to bed...no wait, took medication for aching muscles, THEN went to bed

 

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